It took longer than Holli had initially been told to get to the Crossroads; they had also managed to close a few rifts on the way. But the lengthy travel was probably her fault. After days of hours upon hours of walking, she was exhausted. But so impressed with her boots. She had saved up from her part-time job to buy a quality pair and was so glad she had done so. They were warm, durable, and comfortable.
True to his word, Solas had started teaching her to read the written language here; he also carried books with him when he travelled, it seemed. He was a much quicker learner than her, though, coming quite a ways in the few days they'd been trading languages.
The Hinterlands was nicer than the mountains; it was good to be out of the snow. It was still quite cold, though.
They had met up with an Inquisition camp, where a dwarven woman had given them the lay of the land. Scout Harding had pointed them in Mother Giselle's direction and sent them on their way.
"What kind of books do you write?" Holli asked Varric.
She had just learnt about Hard in Hightown. When Varric had introduced himself, he had said he was a storyteller, but she had assumed he meant like a bard or around the campfire.
"Rubbish ones," Cassandra snorted.
"Aw, Seeker, you've read them? I'm touched."
Cassandra let out a disgusted grunt.
"In answer to your question, a bit of a mix. Hard in Hightown is about a seasoned detective, featuring murder, mystery, and mayhem, taking place in Kirkwall's Hightown."
Holli smiled. "What else?"
"Swords and Shields is an ongoing romance—"
"Trouble ahead," Solas told them, taking his staff from his back.
Holli could hear it too, the sounds of fighting. Scout Harding had told them mages and templars were fighting all over the area. She couldn't feel a tingling in her hands, so it probably wasn't rifts and demons; it had to be mages and templars.
Cassandra turned to look at her. "Wait here; stay safe."
Holli nodded, the others dropping their packs and leaving them with her to look after. While they ran off to fight, she dragged their things off the path and into the trees. Better to be hidden, just in case. She climbed onto a rock, sitting cross-legged, and stared about at the trees, their packs on the ground beside her.
She'd never had much to do with nature growing up in the city. Her mum wasn't the outdoorsy type, and she'd never known her dad; she didn't even know who he was aside from a first name on her birth certificate that sounded fake. Her friends weren't outdoorsy either, so she'd never gone camping or hiking. And without her phone, there wasn't much to do but take in her surroundings. It was cold in the shade of the trees, but if she ignored the sound of distant fighting, it was quite peaceful. If she looked straight up, she could see the sky and scraps of cloud between the treetops. How long had it been since she'd just stared at the sky?
She remembered imagining cloud shapes with Yvette when they were in primary school. Had it been that long?
The internet said time in nature was beneficial to one's mental health. She could sort of see why. The sound of the breeze through the leaves was nice. Not as nice as pouring rain, but nice.
"Hey, little bird, it's safe," she heard Varric call.
She slid off her rock and grabbed their packs, coming out of the trees. On one hand, she felt a little useless hiding while they walked into danger. On the other hand, what good was she going to be in a fight? She'd get fucking killed.
"Come on, Mother Giselle's waiting."
She walked with him towards the village.
"You might want to keep your eyes down," Varric told her.
Of course that immediately made her do the opposite. There were bodies... So many bodies. So far the only thing she had seen them kill was demons. There had been the dead when she had been climbing the mountain, but not like this, not so many in one place. And she had been a bit preoccupied that day; it hadn't registered like this did. Maybe it was seeing the dead kids that did it; she wasn't sure. Innocent people had been killed... refugees. There was blood; she could see where their skin had been slashed open, smell the burnt flesh and hair...
"Hey, little bird," Varric said, his voice soothing, like he knew.
"What's going on?" Holli could hear Cassandra's voice, but it sounded so far away.
"Holli," she heard Solas's voice, but like Cassandra's, it sounded distant. "Eyes on me."
His face suddenly filled her vision, his warm hands on the sides of her face.
"I think—I think this might be real. I think I might really be here," she whispered, her hands coming up to desperately grip his wrists.
She'd thought she'd accepted that possibility, but what that really meant—everything it entailed—was only just striking her now.
She was in another world—a world where people killed each other with swords and magic, where demons were real, where she stood not ten feet from murdered children. In her own world she heard about the atrocities committed in faraway countries, but she'd never seen it, never been this close to it. And they might not find a way back; she could be stuck here for the rest of her life. Who would take care of her mum?
"It is real. And I'm sorry that you're here," he said softly.
"I want to go home."
"I'll find a way. Just bear with it a while longer. One foot in front of the other."
Holli let out a shuddering breath and nodded, closing her eyes. She was being pathetic; she needed to pull herself together.
"I'm sorry."
"This world is asking much of you. You're allowed a moment."
It was. It was asking a lot of her. She was supposed to close a hole in the sky.
But she wasn't really contributing anything. The others were walking into danger to make sure she got to where she needed to go because she couldn't look after herself. They kept watch at night to make sure they all stayed safe while she just slept.
She had always thought she was quite independent—her mother was a druggie and a drunk, Holli had had to fend for herself a lot because she couldn't rely on her mum. But here...
Shove it down, hide her bullshit. Her life wasn't great, but she'd managed to keep it a secret from even her best friends. She'd hidden injuries; she could hide her panic. And her fear. Take a deep breath and pretend she wasn't drowning.
She took a calming breath and opened her eyes, biting the inside of her cheek in an attempt to refocus. When she let go of Solas's wrists, he dropped his own hands from her face, taking a step back.
"Mother Giselle?" She asked, her voice not as strong as she would have liked. Her whole body felt like jelly from the narrowly avoided panic attack.
"This way," he told her, leading her up to the nearest building.
Holli kept her eyes on his back to avoid taking in too much around her. Maybe being a doctor wasn't for her if she couldn't handle this kind of thing. She clenched her fists and tamped down on the thought. No, she just needed to desensitise herself. Just... not today.
Solas directed her to a dark-skinned woman in a silly hat who was trying to convince an injured man to allow a mage to heal him.
The others had been telling her about the world she now found herself in—the Templars, the Maker, Andraste, the Chantry and the Circles, the mages, and the general public's distrust. The why of it—demon possession. Not just horror stories or mental health issues here.
Mother Giselle finished with the soldier, turning her attention to Holli. Holli had her hands in her coat pockets, but the glow of her hand could still be faintly seen.
"You must be the one they are calling the Herald of Andraste," she said, coming to join her, taking her chin in hand and examining her. "You are but a child."
"So everyone keeps saying," Holli retorted, pulling back. "And I'm not the Herald of Andraste; she didn't send me."
Holli wanted to be very clear about that. She didn't want people thinking she was something she wasn't.
"Then who did?" She asked simply, indicating for Holli to walk with her.
"No one. I think it's just... some cosmic fluke. You know... shit happens."
Holli could see Cassandra facepalm in her periphery, Varric snickering. The others were a respectful distance away but clearly still within earshot.
"We are seldom made privy to the Maker's plans, and I would not presume to know them. But I doubt very much that your appearance here, and your power, can be ascribed to a fluke."
Only because she didn't know where Holli had come from, or the events prior to her appearance here. Holli didn't believe in God; a cosmic fluke was far more likely. A magical accident. Honestly, Holli had no idea how to begin to explain her presence here. But Gods or prophets or whatever was way down the list.
"Why did you want to see me?" Holli asked.
It felt a little like being called to the principal's office—if the office were on the other side of a mountain range in the middle of a warzone...
"I know of the Chantry's denouncement, and I'm familiar with those behind it. I won't lie to you; some of them are grandstanding, hoping to increase their chances of becoming the new Divine. Some are simply terrified. So many good people, senselessly taken from us..."
"But don't you stand with the rest of the Chantry?"
That was how it was supposed to work, wasn't it? Brains ground to mush and turned to 'faith' and obedience.
"With no Divine, we are each left to our own conscience—and mine tells me this. Go to them. Convince the remaining clerics you are no demon to be feared. They have heard only frightful tales of you. Give them something else to believe."
Frightful tales of a fifteen-year-old girl... What was being said about her exactly?
"They want to execute me, and you want me to make it easier for them?"
"You are no longer alone. They cannot imprison or attack you."
Holli's eyes drifted over to the others. Endangering them further didn't sit right with her.
"Let me put it this way: you needn't convince them all. You just need some of them to doubt."
The power-hungry ones weren't going to be convinced unless she had something to offer them that would benefit them. Because apparently saving their world wasn't enough. It would be the scared ones she'd need to work on.
It reminded her of the climate change disaster in her own world. The people with the power didn't care as long as they kept benefitting from it.
"Their power is their unified voice. Take that from them, and you receive the time you need."
"Would they even listen to me?"
Even in her world, teenagers were largely ignored on important issues.
"I suppose that would depend on your words. I honestly don't know if you've been touched by fate or sent to help us... but I hope. Hope is what we need now."
Holli nodded, trying to figure out what to say to these people.
"I will go to Haven and provide Sister Leliana the names of those in the Chantry who would be amenable to a gathering. It is not much, but I will do whatever I can."
Holli nodded. What was that quote about looking for the helpers?
"Thank you, Mother Giselle."
Holli was a little surprised to find she meant it. Any help was surely better than none.
Mother Giselle gave a polite nod and moved on to continue with her own business. Holli rejoined the others.
"Now what?" She asked.
"Now we go and speak to Corporal Vale," Cassandra told her.