" The stupid is stupid but sometimes even the stupid is wise while the wise overthink and become stupid"- A random hobo from a subway.Ā
That quote has defined my life cause ever since I was three I realized that thinking too much is a waste of time. You see some people, just dream and plan but never put those plans into action cause they always think but do not do.Ā
I am stupid but that is very much by choice. Now why am I rambling about all this? Well, it seems I am a hypocritical little shit who accidentally conquered the world.
Let me start by explaining the beginning. When I was in school, instead of spending my time studying I used my time to make friends with everyone, and do extracurricular activities such as sports and clubs while hanging out with my best friends.Ā
Now the thing is somehow that led to me having very good grades and getting into Harvard. Let me explain, you see I made friends with everyone including smart people and those very same smart people forced me to study a lot and even gave me the occasional tutoring. That led to me having very good grades and since I had a lot of dumb friends as well, I thought to pass on the favor and started to occasionally teach them which led to me having better grades cause when you teach someone you learn the best.
All the time spent playing sports led to me getting scholarships and all those clubs made my college application look good. I was planning on working for McDonald's after graduating from high school but my friends went behind my back then did my college applications for me along with making me get those scholarships as well.Ā That my friends is how I ended up in Harvard.
Now of course I tried getting an internship at McDonald's and apparently, one of my friends became a higher-up in the company so they promoted me to a managerial position before I could say 'Burger'.Ā
I thought to myself how can I bomb my job so bad that they fore or demote me? That is why I started giving my employees as many holidays as possible, fought with customers whenever they tried to harass my workers, and even made my workers give far better meals as possible for what the customers paid for. Somehow that boosted the productivity of my workers and made the places I worked at extremely popular.Ā
All of that led to me being promoted. As for Harvard, I did the same thing as I did while in school, and somehow I graduated with honors, I was bloody confused at that point. My music degree from Harvard somehow led to me being promoted which was very weird I tell you cause I specifically chose that degree for its uselessness. I also apparently had someone record me secretly record me whenever I sang and I somehow became a very popular YouTube singer without even knowing. I only found out when I started getting millions of dollars.Ā
I even signed up for multiple record labels by accident thinking they were a scam that would certainly lead to me becoming poor and homeless but instead, I became rich. I even invested in GameStop thinking surely this would make me poor but that was the moment people started investing leading me to get very rich. I even sold it thinking that just maybe I would become poor but turns out I got out just before the stock went down.
As for the world-conquering thing I was the richest person in the world who always gave to charity and somehow my friends became politicians, CEOs of their respective companies, and even mob bosses. They all collectively decided to make me the president of my country which became the most powerful country even though I used all the money from the government to create programs to help the poor along with giving money to supposedly useless projects like space research and genetic engineering.
As a last-ditch hail-marry to get kicked out of the office, I started spending all my time reading comics, watching movies, and even anime but instead of being laughed out of the office for being a tweed somehow people found me relatable and I got more popularity.
As for my love life, the ugly poor girl got a massive glow-up and even turned out to be the secret heir of a multimillion-dollar company. At that point, I just threw up my hands out of frustration. That is why as soon as my presidential term ended I started doing extreme sports plus traveling the world in the hope of encountering misfortune but I got several times richer and I for some reason had a great time even though I never prepared for my travels in any way.
Now on my deathbed, I have decided to give all my money to charity and even donate all my organs while giving the rest of me to science. I always tried my best to live a mediocre life but I failed miserably