Jane started avoiding his gaze and the increasing weight of her guilt.
Sebastain took up his pacing again. "Whatever happened though, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you are still here. You are still alive, and it's beautiful." Jane dug her fingernail into the palm of her hand to have some pain to focus on rather than the promise that it doesn't matter. He doesn't know, I will never have this again. He will hate me. Jane's mind interrupted. "My father found it very surprising. Are you ready for the truth?"
Jane's mind was a thousand miles away having a funeral for the thought that she could of had a relationship with this sweet and kind soul named Sebastain.
"You're not a person."
"What?" That was not what she was expecting him to say.
"You're not a person. You barely have a soul, it's more of a fragment than an actual human soul."
He is saying these things while he still thinks that I am a virgin and sexually pure. "This makes no sense. Are you telling me I'm a monster?"
"No, I'm a monster. You're more like a golem."
"What?! Again that makes no sense."
"It's ... uh ... you're a changeling."
"Like a shapeshifter?"
"Man, public education is all comic books and marvel movies isn't it. No, girl you're a changeling. Your parents made a deal with a fae for their firstborn child. When the fae came to collect, it put you in the crib with just a tiny bit of their actual child's soul. The person whose soul you share a piece of was taken into the underside, raised in a nursery, sold to my father, then after you started menstruating he sold that person. I don't know to who and he likely can't tell me, even if he wanted to."
"So I am not real."
"You're real." He went to kneel and reassure me but I shifted away from his touch. "You have flesh, blood, thoughts, and feelings. You are very real."
"I'm a fake person, a walking, talking lie..." that will have to keep lying to keep this soft boi.
"You're real and at least you have a soul. I only have this body."
"What do you mean?" yes less talking about me, more about anything else.
"My father and I are vampires to put it plainly. We drink blood and were born of blood and darkness... woooh." Sebastain waved his hands in a mystical gesture. Jane laughed just a little, Cute. "I drink the bagged stuff, but it's not as powerful as from the living. Father says that I am naive, but I just don't have the stomach for it. I know that's where he gets his strength and speed from and I find it just sick that he needs prepubescent blood to maintain his looks."
"Ugh! Gross! He still looks like a wrinkled forty five year old."
"I know which is great for a vampire born during the Spanish Inquisition."
"Wait, does this mean you aren't 18?"
"No, I am. I am also his wittle naive baby son. But I am working on overcoming that."
"I want to be free from my fathers control."
"You have your own car and practically live here alone. With your father in the underside all the time and all."
"There is gilding on my cage but that does not negate the fact I am still his hostage until he can marry me off or I reach ascension."
"Ascension?"
"It'll be when I'm fully mature and freeze into my immortal form. Until then I could die like a regular person. At that time my heart will stop beating and I'll be able to heal any wound. My innate powers will increase as I age and I'll be on equal terms with my father. But 12 to 16 more years of being under his thumb sickens me. Worse still he plans to marry me off for more political favors before that."
"So that's what the ball was about? It was about finding you a wife?"
"Yes, and now we've shown him that I will do as I please in that regard. I can choose who I want or to be with no one."
"So you don't want me to be your wife?"
Jane internalizes the relief and the false hope.
Jane felt as though she was going to absolutely die. Her heart was sprinting for the door at the thought of being presented as Sebastian's choice of wife. Now it felt gone. Not still and stone but completely removed. It exploded into a million pieces and was sinking into her empty stomach. He didn't want her.
Sebastian's eyes went soft with the understanding of how he might have hurt me.
"Jane. I don't know you. You don't know yourself."
He didn't know her. Jane knew herself though he was wrong about that. She didn't know what she was but she knew she wasn't human. How could she be a regular person and always feel like an empty and ugly doll. She had the word for what she was Changeling. But she knew herself before that word. She hated herself, everyone who knew her did. Even Ruby only pitied her and that was the closest she would come to love.
"Jane. You look lost, were you listening to what I said?"
"I heard you! I'd like to go home. Now"
Sebastian stood in her way. Confused.
Jane's doubts and pain start bouncing around her head.
How could I be so stupid? He didn't even want me for sex or to bite me. I was only some trash for him to parade around and piss off his father. Look at this garbage father, fuck you.
He tricked me. Sending every signal of someone who was interested in me and not just for my body.
Jane's nipple stiffened with the memory of Sebastian tossing her face down on the bed. Blood rushed to blush her cheeks and her crotch.
He doesn't want me, He never wanted me. He doesn't even want my body. He doesn't know what filth I am but he still rejects me.
After a long and silent drive back to Jane and Ruby's apartment, Sebastian locked the door preventing Jane's escape. She huffed trying the handle twice.
"Let me go."
Sebastian just sat in silence and stared at the wheel.
"Look."
Jane cut him off
"I don't want to hear it. Don't you dare tell me you're sorry. Don't you dare." Her words came out choking and frustrated as she continued to go at the car handle.
"I'm not sorry. Text me if you need me. I owe you at least a favor."
Jane raised her hand to strike, Sebastian without flinching simply hit the button to release the lock.
"Jane, I would like to know you. I'll check up on you tomorrow."
"You used me." Jane tried to let go of the memory of Sebastian holding her in his arms. She exhaled as if she was forcing his soft touch from her body. "You don't have to pretend it was anything more. Grow a pair and leave me out of your family fued."
"I'll text you in the morning. You're deeper in this than you know. And I said I want to know you."
"You'll never know me." Jane screamed and slammed the door.
Sebastian sat in the parking lot and waited. He felt like a fool. Should he have been straight with her from the start. No. If she reacted like this, he was certain she wouldn't have taken part tonight.
The flashing lights from Jane's apt stopped and people poured into the parking lot. Sebastian left before he had to deal with the traffic.
Jane's anger and frustration was taken out on the techno vikings whose plastic spikes she snapped off as she tossed them out. Ruby must have already been passed out or tucked in. The goths were pretty hot but seeing the vampire costumes sent her over the edge. Jane held back just a little as the bikers who lived downstairs offered to help clean up the red solos. She wanted to be alone and cry. At the same time she wanted to expel the frustration and heat building inside her as fire poured from her eyes burning everyone who caught them.
The apartment was stripped of DJ gear and empty in under a minute. Jane poured herself a glass of straight vodka and sat down in the kitchen. She knew it wasn't going to help her sort herself out but it might stop the feeling for night. She tried not to smell the vodka before chugging it but she caught a whiff and paused. That's when she heard the shower. There was still someone here. She downed the drink and stormed into the bathroom.
Lucas turned around and smiled at her "more?" He asked with a wide grin. Jane wasn't looking at his face. Below his rock hard abs her gaze settled and the fire built in her.
"More!" She was going to be the one using someone tonight. And this tall blonde man was happy to let her lead him by the bicep into her room.