"He's not picking," you spoke with visible panic in your voice. You were at the verge of breaking down at that moment because you were generally a crybaby due to the pregnancy hormones and the circumstances surrounding your wretched self.
"Try again, maybe he's far away from his phone," Philip suggested.
"He's always with his phone, even when he's bathing," you responded as the all-knowing ex.
You thought you knew him like the inside of your palm, but as of late, you had come to realize that your knowledge pertaining to him was similar to the nonexistent knowledge you have for the morphology of your brain.
It was the day after you had officially found out that you were with child. It had been thirty minutes of trying to call Collins, but he was not picking up. You had never communicated on the phone after the day he sent you that explicit voice note. Yes, you saw each other on campus here and there, but you had never spoken.
He was too busy trying to pamper his new girlfriend like a queen in a way that he never did for you, even when you were dating, and you were too busy trying to nurse your heartbreak.
"I think he's deliberately not picking. I mean, he doesn't want anything to do with me," you finally sat on your bed after thirty minutes of pacing to and fro in the room. Philip was sitting on his usual spot - your 'wardrobe'.
"Try using my phone," he said, handing you his iPhone 14 Pro Max. You were really honored to hold such a phone. You had never held it in your hands in all your life. You said a short prayer before dialing Collins' number, thanking God for gracing you with such an opportunity.
You dialed Collins' number, and he picked up on the third ring.
"Please don't hang up. It's me, Patience!" Your pleading replaced the traditional hello.
"Ukudei?" (What do you want?) He sounded pissed, like you had just interrupted him from finishing up something he was doing. The tongue clicking that accompanied the uttered statement reflected the amount of annoyance he felt just because of your call.
You immediately wondered how he would react to the news you were about to deliver to him.
"Woman, don't waste my time; I don't have all day!" He snapped after you had gone mute.
"I'm pregnant!" You exclaimed immediately.
Silence.
You looked at the screen. The call was still ongoing.
"Collins, are you still there?"
"My question still stands. Ukudei?"
"I said I'm pregnant!"
"So? Am I a doctor? Don't you know where the hospital is?"
"It's yours."
"What makes you so sure?"
"Collins, I was a virgin when you met me!"
"So? We only did it once. How can I be sure that you've never slept with any other guy after that?"
It was just too painful for your heart to bear. It was already shattered. God had only given the heart one job - to pump your blood - but you decided to make it multitask, of course, it was bound to malfunction.
You closed your eyes as warm tears streamed down your plump cheeks.
But you did not feel better as intended. It was not a healing therapy for you.
If only this had been face-to-face communication, you would have gotten physical with him, and his face would have already been all bloody by now. But it was just a thought.
"Collins, why do you hate me so much?"
"Look, you're the one who's carrying the baby, so you deal with it!"
Philip had now shifted from his seat to your side. His arms were already getting ready for a hug. The call was on loudspeaker, so he could clearly hear the nuisance that Collins was vomiting out.
On the other end, you heard a thud, and you assumed that Collins had put the phone down. He was already chatting with his girlfriend, calling you a slut and making fun of how stupid you were.
You were not able to cut the call since Collins' words had just diluted your unquantifiable morale. The phone was just in your hands, and you were looking at it.
Philip cut the call for you after taking the phone from your hands.
Your back was turned on him, and you were staring at the key holder that Collins had brought for you. It was made of colorful rings, five of them. Pink. Blue. Red. Lime. Purple. Just in that order.
It was the first gift he gave you a few weeks after you had moved into that house, right after he saw that you were using a piece of string as a key holder.
It was the only tangible gift he had ever brought for you. The rest had been foodstuffs, which were nonexistent as of that moment. They were probably somewhere in the sewers, undergoing microbial decomposition, in a form that could not be traceable to their original ancestor.
It was right there on the key dangling as the soft breeze hit it.
The key was right inside the keyhole on the door.
The door which he used as an entrance to this room.
The room which had the very bed that you used to sit on when he visited.
The very bed on which you lost your virginity on a hot afternoon when the entire house was empty.
Only you and him were there. Only your voices echoed within those unpainted walls. Your screams and moans were audible from that very room.
His thanks were said in that room after that very act as he thanked you for offering him your innocence, something a few girls still had according to him. And he took it from you and comforted you by saying he would marry you and feeding you mint sweets as if that would soothe the burning sensation that you felt in between your legs. And now he was rejecting you. He was rejecting his seed. The one which won the race and sprang into this thing you were carrying for him inside of you. His baby.
In all those sad, gloomy thoughts Philip was right behind you, hugging you from behind. His chin was on your shoulder and his eyes were focused on the same thing that yours were also focused on - the key holder, but not with the same revelation. His hands were right around you, wrapping your tummy as if they were shielding the unborn baby from external harm. Shielding it from the unkind world. Shielding it from its biggest enemy, you.
He had been there for you from the time of your heartbreak till that day. He had been your comforter. He made sure that you had eaten, you had sound sleep and you were still attending your lectures. He had been like a brother to you, a brother you never had. But aren't all boys the same? Was he for real or he was just there to pick up the leftovers that Collins had forgotten to take home and even scatter more broken heart pieces rendering them impossible to ever being glued together again.
***********************************************
"She's pregnant. Can't you see her breasts are growing large not to mention her butt?"
"I heard she was seen in the rubbish dump having sex with Tom. Tom of all boys, that sick drunkard. Just last week she hooked up with Peter, that troublesome A-level student who is always on the headmaster's lips for his mischief. I wonder where some people purchase their guts from. With all these STIs and pregnancy that the science teacher always preaches about." You joined in as you closed your notebook to converse with your best friend who had brought foodstuffs for brunch.
"The other one that I don't trust is Mary, this Chiedza girl is even better!"
"Mother Mary. She likes acting like a saint especially in the eyes of all the teachers who all back her up since they have no knowledge of her shenanigans. Just because she has a biblical name doesn't mean that she's a true saint."
"Amen. That's what I always say..."
The two of you paused slightly as both of you eyed Chiedza, who was pacing past you in her mini skirt that showed off her Fanta-colored thighs.
"I pity her womb, I'm sure it suffers a lot from all this June coldness. Will it even survive to carry children?" Makaita whispered into your ear before you laughed briefly and inwardly. It was her facial expressions that paralyzed you.
"Chommie, I know our future is bright. We'll be married to good guys that we truly deserve as godly girls."
"Amen to that."
You opened your eyes as you chased away those thoughts from when you were still in high school.
You could not believe that you had become that girl that you despised. That same girl that your high school teachers always preached against.
Shameful.
Rueful.
Depressional.
That was what your life had turned out to be.
You tossed and turned on the squeaky bed. Your eyes stared at the ceiling as your mind was busy formulating all sorts of scary images, but you took no consideration of them since there was a very important issue at hand - your pregnancy.
It was now a week after you'd found out about that. And in that week, things had not been easy. You were barely concentrating during lectures. It was either you were asleep or in deep thoughts.
Fortunately, Philip had been supportive all the way. Emotionally and physically. But you had been trying to keep a safe distance from him, just in case he was a wolf in sheep's clothing.
You still could not believe that just less than an hour of pleasure turned you into this - a pregnant and heartbroken girl. How could you be this cheap, this careless? All because of an infatuation that you mistook for love.
"Collins!" You muttered in between your sobs as tears began rolling down your cheeks.
A sorrowful moan, more like a dog's whimper, escaped from your mouth as you closed your eyes, squeezing the duvet with both hands.
You could still feel him on you, as if the act took place just a few minutes earlier.
His grunts. Your moans, which he shut with kisses at numerous different intervals. The heat of the moment.
Your thoughts immediately shifted to that fateful hot September Saturday. You would bet that if a sinner was asked to repent on that day, they would gladly agree, since they would be contemplating the temperatures of hell if earth could be hot like that. Yet you chose to perform that despicable act.
He came in like a breeze. His Playboy roll-on scent immediately filled your nostrils the moment he entered. He strode towards you slowly as his eyes surveyed the entire room.
"You came," you stated the obvious, as you patted the bed, summoning him to sit beside you.
You were entangled in his web of sweet words, his charming looks, his so-called love. He had changed you into someone you thought you would never be. Someone like Chiedza.
Loose.
Entirely submissive.
Naughty.
How could you not have changed when you had met someone you thought was the love of your life? You had already planned a future with him. You saw three kids - two boys, all with their father's handsome looks, and a girl who would be a complete replica of you. The five of you enjoying life somewhere in the world, on a balcony, as you enjoyed a beautiful view of the beach, you and Collins watching your little ones running around in their swim suits.
In a jiffy, you were all cuddled up, your bodies entangled to form a beast with two backs. You were vulnerable. You were very submissive. You endured the pain, like a big girl that you thought you were. You allowed him to have his way with you.
Now you were pregnant!
You could not believe that just less than an hour of pleasure had turned you into this. How could you be this cheap, this careless? All because of an infatuation that you mistook for love.
As you lay there, Philip's arms were still wrapped around you, holding you close.
He had been your rock, your confidant, your everything since Collins broke your heart. But could you truly trust him? Or was he just waiting for the perfect moment to strike, to take advantage of your vulnerability?
You did not know what the future held, but one thing was certain - you had to make a decision about the baby, and you had to do it fast.