Chains rattle around me, I can feel them chaffing my wrists and ankles. I know it's a dream, but the dread that encompasses my body causes me to shake violently anyway. I've never been more scared than when I was in this room. The darkness here was my only sanctuary, and the light coming in through the slightly ajar door caused me to panic.
"He" entered. My father, Hakutora Wren. I was five around this time of my life. My father approached me, setting the tray of food down. He posed a series of varying questions. The quadratic formula, calculating angles and probability. Getting even one of these wrong would forfeit my dinner and subject me to a 25-minute ice bath and isolation in the "dark room".'
'I wasn't an active participant in the memory, merely watching it play out like some kind of sick movie. A twisted fantasy that I shouldn't remember. Such a painful series of events. This specific memory had me answering the questions flawlessly, the light in my eyes long gone. The dinner wasn't even good, just some white rice and bottled water.'
'It's a wonder I even survived this kind of torment, albeit with my memories in shambles. Seeing a therapist later in life was probably the worst mistake I made in that regard. Having them return so suddenly when she dug just a tad bit too deep was jarring.'
'Well, at least this one played out uneventfully. One of the few times, to say the least.'
"Mizune?"
I awoke with a start. The name I had chosen to cover up my past was "Mizune". My body felt heavy, tired perhaps. Someone was calling my name? 'Ah, I fell asleep in class.'
I looked up at my teacher, she seemed slightly annoyed but spoke nothing more. I brushed my long unnaturally white hair out of my eyes and sat back up, focusing on the lesson. Not that I actually cared about it. The only reason I even bothered was because the teacher would be frustrated with me, and that was a minor nuisance that I didn't want to deal with.
The lesson was on advanced calculus, or so I assumed. It looked like it, anyway. I already knew most of our coursework for this semester. My father had made sure of that much. These people, my "classmates" were learning it now, just after highschool or later for some. I didn't judge them for choosing to pursue higher education in the middle stages of life, to wish to better one's self was an admirable quality.
I was probably seven or eight when I learned this. It was ensured, through sheer torture, that I wouldn't forget anything. Not that I actually could if I wanted to. Hyperthymesia is a cruel mistress to which I am eternally bound.
My eyes wandered around the classroom. Most of the students seemed carefree. Of course, this was the school my father had intended for me to enroll in. I was groomed for it during the early years of my life, in fact. I didn't choose to attend it because I want to. How is a person who never had any personal freedom before, supposed to suddenly do what they want? I had no goals or ambitions and, reluctantly, I enrolled here.
I stared out the window as the bell rang. Class had ended, and I didn't hear a single word. Maybe something about sine, cosine and tangent?
The teachers wouldn't intervene regardless. This was a rather prestigious school, and if you failed, it was honestly your fault for not trying hard enough. I didn't believe that for a second, but it's what everyone else believed so I pretended to do so as well.
In reality, no person's intellect level is exactly the same. Where one student needs to study endlessly to merely survive, another may simply know the answers ahead of time. This was simply one aspect of a much broader truth: The world is not even remotely fair and the notion that we exist in a meritocracy is even more of a lie.
How could this be a-
My thoughts were cut off by the girl that approached me, Suzumi. She seemed somewhat fidgety. "H.Hi..Your hair is so pretty, how did you get it that color?"
I didn't turn to look at her. The view from up here was honestly quite pretty. The campus garden was out back, and I had a full view of the sprawling flowerbeds. I just spoke in a listless, uncaring tone. I don't bother to hide it anymore, it was too tiring.
"It wasn't my choice." Was my only reply to her question.
She was obviously flustered, although I wasn't entirely sure why. "O..oh. Well, some of the girls and I are going to do karaoke, do you want to come with?"
I sighed and stood up. "No."
My thoughts instantly shifted to something more appealing.
'Perhaps I should visit the library, they might have a few interesting books.'
I left the classroom, and I could faintly hear the girls talking and comforting Suzumi. If it was a past me, I might have gone. Nowadays, there wasn't much that could interest me.
.....
I entered the library. It was relatively small, and a mere ten-minute walk from my classroom. A nice walking distance to stretch my legs after sitting in a dull class all day.
I strolled through various sections. I've read all manner of books. Manga, mystery novels, teen romance, light novels. Recently however, a lot of the ones I have been focused on were philosophical texts. I quickly picked one out: "Laches", written by the Greek Philosopher Plato. The librarian seemed slightly surprised at my choice, but he didn't say anything. He merely scanned the book, and I moved on.
The dorm room I was assigned had no roommate, thankfully. I sat the book down on the bed and moved towards my desk.
I opened the journal I've been keeping and looked at my cynical writings. I thumbed through the pages, feeling the strands of hair and accompanying bloody thumb prints while I pondered the events that led me here.
It was dumb of me to keep those trinkets....but I couldn't help myself. Who could resist these kinds of temptations? Certainly not me, and if I couldn't do it, I don't think anyone else could.
.....
"Welcome to Arctis Academy. The foremost leading Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics school. Here, you will find no small degree of challenging classes and take part in electives that seem to draw you in with their complexity."
That was just a snippet from the previous Student Council president. He gave that speech to us during our entrance ceremony. Even as I remembered every word that I heard him utter, I couldn't be bothered to care.
I wasn't here for any of that. My life will only ever end one way, and it won't be going out like an office worker. I'll be taken in by the police for sure. But....what can I do to keep myself busy before that happens?
Everyone has secrets, right? Why not try to reveal some secrets that these lonely "classmates" of mine have?