— This is a philosophical line, reflecting on self-mastery and the importance of maintaining inner peace and clarity.
"Did you talk to Wu Xiaoman today?"
As soon as I got home from school, my cousin, Zhang Fuhong, impatiently asked.
"I didn't say anything." I replied lazily, "Why? Is there a problem?"
This kid really left me speechless. He was too shy to confess his feelings to Wu Xiaoman, and now he was apparently jealous of me. Poor kid.
"So what were you two talking about, 'baby' and 'treasure'?" He continued, "What were you talking about exactly? Did you make her angry?"
What? What do you mean? Xiaoman and I don't have anything in common. Sure, my grades are bad, but I've already started down the path of cultivation. My mind is clearer now, and my memory has improved dramatically. My bad grades are just temporary. Hearing my cousin's whining, I started to get a bit angry.
"What's it to you? Do I need to report everything to you? Whether Xiaoman and I have anything in common is none of your business." I threw these words out without caring about my cousin's irritated face.
He looked surprised that I could hear his soft muttering. Hehe, as a Cultivator, if I couldn't hear such a small voice, I'd be doing a disservice to my little flag. Seeing him getting angrier as I casually mentioned Xiaoman, I couldn't help but laugh inside.
Fuhong threw his backpack down, pointed at me, and loudly asked, "You? You think you deserve her?"
This kid was such a bookworm, I started to wonder about his intelligence. How could he say something like that?
If there's one thing I hate the most, it's being pointed at, no matter who does it—even if it's my cousin. I frowned and coldly told him, "What do you mean, 'you'? I'm your older brother. Watch your attitude, and stop pointing at me."
"You two stop arguing. You're brothers, what can't you say properly?" Aunt San entered and pulled Fuhong into his own room. I noticed her look at me with a hint of disdain. That feeling made my anger instantly vanish. I'm living under someone else's roof; I'll endure.
I knew this would likely lead to a few weeks of cold war with my cousin, but that was fine. At least I'd have some peace and quiet. Who cares about a bookworm, anyway?
That evening, during dinner, no matter how much Aunt San called Fuhong, he refused to come out. In fact, I could hear him quietly crying in his room. Poor kid. I thought for a moment whether I should help him pursue Xiaoman, but then I decided against it. It wasn't my problem.
Back in my room, I took out the talisman I had prepared for Zhang Yu, and then found a beautiful piece of paper to wrap it in.
In the past, I had written many love letters for my burly classmate, Cao Kui, to send to the girls in our class. Every girl got one. Hehe! This time, I planned to send an anonymous letter to the frail Zhang Yu, along with three talismans I had carefully selected.
I took out a piece of paper and began writing:
Dear Xiaoyu,
First of all, allow me to address you as "Xiaoyu," a classmate who has secretly watched you for over 300 days. I hope you can forgive me for being so abrupt.
I am very fortunate to finally have the chance to say everything I have long wanted to say. I think I have truly fallen for you, Xiaoyu. Don't be surprised, just keep reading.
During every lonely night, I find myself turning in my bed, with your beautiful face filling my mind. Many times, I wanted to call you just to say hello, but I never took action. Now, I finally muster the courage to face your judgment.
How I wish to be by your side every day, to guard that sense of peace and calm.
Whether I see you in class or in my dreams at 2 AM… you are always so beautiful. But your face always looks so pale, as if you are a wounded angel.
No words can express the longing in my heart. Every time I look at your fragile shoulders, every time I hear your cough, my heart trembles. Your face always carries a faint sorrow, a sorrow that calls for my care.
Knowing you has made me realize that life has a profound meaning. I feel that I should stop hesitating. I want to do something about it.
During the summer vacation, I passed by the Sanqing Temple in my hometown. The elders there spoke of an old immortal who lived there. People come to make wishes and ask for talismans. I entered without hesitation.
You might laugh at me, but at that time, I only wanted to ask for peace talismans for you. I just want you to stay safe and happy. That's my biggest wish.
I spent an entire day at the temple in front of the Sanqing statue. That day, my heart was filled with happiness. For you, what is a day of waiting? If it could make you healthy again, I would wait a hundred years, a thousand years, what does it matter?
As I write this, I realize I don't even want to reveal who I am. It doesn't really matter. Xiaoyu, the three talismans enclosed in this letter will silently guard you for me. This is enough for me.
I believe that the kind-hearted you will carry these talismans with you because you are Xiaoyu, and that talisman represents my sincere heart. The three talismans represent three lifetimes. The old immortal at the Sanqing Temple once said that we are bound by three lifetimes of fate...
I will stop writing here, dear Xiaoyu. Heaven knows how much I love you. Take care of yourself. Remember, in this lifetime, I love you more than anything else.
September 12, 1998, evening.
Silently loving you.
Wow! It's been so long since I've written a love letter. I'm sweating as I write this. With Zhang Yu's personality, I'm sure she'll carry the talisman with her when she sees this letter. Is that good? Well, it's up to her. Cultivators act according to their heart, hehe!
I put the letter and talismans together, tucked them away, and began my nightly cultivation routine.