My head was pounding, and my body was still hungover from the night. I awoke to my alarm clock blaring as usual at 7:30 in the morning.
"Can you please turn that shit off?" Gina grumbled, pulling the blanket off me and wrapping it around her head
I eyed the blanket she'd taken, her naked body forming curves along the length of the bed. I slapped the button atop my alarm clock, shutting it up. I would've usually tried to get five more minutes of sleep before school, but I didn't have to.
I've just graduated.
Littered around the room were what you'd consider standard for any young male adult: some manga, figurines, my computer setup and my guitar. There were also memories of my high school years, photos from prom, me and friends hanging around the city doing god knows what.
I sighed, shifting past Gina to get up from the bed. I could immediately feel the breeze on my little soldier, so I quickly slid my drawers on.
I walked over to my desk and slumped into my chair.
"What to do now?" I mumbled to myself, tapping my desk.
I was never really the type to plan for the future. When my Guidance Officer asked about my plans after high school, I'd respond, 'Put it all on Red'.
All that did was get me a lecture on the dangers of gambling.
My rambling aside, I was stuck in a slump. I wasn't stupid or anything. My grades were pretty decent, and I got mostly A's. I wasn't bullied or picked on. I have the greatest group of friends I could ask for, and I definitely wasn't a virgin, as the lovely lady in my bed can attest to.
Her name is Gina Arket, by the way.
And no, she's not my girlfriend, just a passionate classmate. We'd been on and off since the start of senior year, and she's freaky. A smart freak at that, she even found a spot at a medical school on the East Coast. How I landed a babe like her is beyond my understanding, but I won't argue.
Speaking of said babes, she's waking up, and her expression does not look nice. She yawned, stretching her arms upwards, her breasts in clear view.
"Ugh, your stupid alarm woke me up."
"It's kind of the point?" I joked
"Don't get smart with me, Louvre", Gina retorted.
"You know you can just call me Fin?"
"And as you know, this 'relationship' we have is strictly a sexual one. And I don't like labels," Gina emphasised
I rolled my eyes. "Sure thing, Arkey Barkey."
Gina's eyes deadpanned at me. "You're seriously still using that? You know..."
"That you love it? Yep." I interrupted, pushing my chair towards the bed.
I was now in front of her, smiling. I traced my finger along her bare thigh. I could feel her shivering.
"You know we still have time before the others wake up?" I smiled.
Gina picked my hand off her thigh and placed it beside her.
"I'm sorry, Louvre, but I need to start packing." Gina denied, brushing my attempt aside.
She stood up, pushing my chair back before picking up her bra beneath it. She continued picking up her clothes from around the room, and I reluctantly did the same. He picked up his sweatpants and slipped them on.
"You know, Fin, it's not too late to..." Gina began.
"Ah ta ta ta, don't try it again. I'm not gonna reconsider," I chuckled.
"I just really think you're wasting your talents not going college." Gina shrugged, clipping her jeans button on.
"I just don't think it's for me, Gina; you know me, I'm just a quiet guy."
"Well, being lazy just isn't gonna cut it anymore. We're adults now, and we have futures to think of." Gina countered.
I sighed, sliding on my black sweatshirt.
"Well, once I figure out my future, you'll be the first to know." I joked
"I'm being serious!" Gina yelled, "Have you actually strived for anything before?!" Gina emphasised.
Strived?
I plopped down onto my bed.
"I honestly can't say I have", I replied honestly.
"This is exactly why I can't be with you; I have a life and dreams. How could I ever be with someone who just..."
"I get it, I get it. No bums"
"That's not what I meant, Fin", Gina said, now fully clothed.
She sighed, sitting down beside me and holding my hands.
"You are not a Bum; all I meant is, I'm an ambition bitch"
I chuckled, "That I agree with."
"I just don't want to force you to a path which isn't for you, especially with how you grew up and whatnot..."
I raised my brow. "How I grew up?"
"You told me you were an orphan; you lived at the church down the block from our high school. Right?"
I raised my brow. "Correct?"
"My father was the same, an orphan. Growing up, he always seemed to resent me for it, like somehow marrying my mum and having me made him jealous of the childhood he couldn't have."
"What does that have to do with us?" I asked
Gina hesitated for a moment, "I know it's crazy, and I know it isn't necessarily true, but I don't want that for you and for a potential family we might have."
Wait, is she...
"And no, I'm not pregnant, although my period hasn't come in a while..."
I held my breath.
She slapped my shoulder with a smile. "I'm just playing."
I sighed in relief. "Thank god."
"Jokes aside, I know what I'm thinking is totally stupid. I know you aren't my father, but in the 1% chance that you may or may not feel this way, I don't want you to resent me."
I didn't really know how to respond; I mean, like, in the church, it was perfectly fine; I wasn't touched or anything sinister like that.
Although Father Frank always seemed a bit sketchy.
I never really gave much thought to how my childhood was different. I mean, there were many kids I could hang with, so I wasn't necessarily robbed of a childhood. It may have caused me to build some slight Mommy kinks, but they were minor at best.
But even the thought of a future family was crazy.
I smiled nonetheless; the thought of a mini-me running around breaking shit was enjoyable to imagine. I could feel Gina's hand grow tighter.
"You good?"
"U-um yeah, just feeling a bit sick. Where about is your toilet?" Gina asked.
"Oh, just back up the hall. It'll be the door to the right of the stairs, and you can't miss it." I smiled.
Gina nodded, smiling back before exiting the room.
...
Unfortunately, Gina wasn't feeling too good, so I gave her an Uber back to her parents.
But with her gone, I could finally check on the rest of the house. It was a separate home for the older kids of the church's orphanage. Right now, It was me and my two other buddies, Max and Joel. Max was still a sophomore, while Joel and I had just graduated.
It was gonna be tough for Max, mostly cause the conditions for staying in this apartment were that after graduation, we'd find our own places. As you can tell from my previous talk, I'm not exactly the paragon of good planning, unlike Joel, who was able to scrape money together for a new place...I was not.
But Fin, why didn't you get a job?
I was lazy.
There's nothing more to it.
In the meantime, I had a week to figure something out, but that's a problem for future Fin; for now, lemme play on my PC. I sprang up from my bed and turned it on. I spent the next few hours playing some League. Don't make fun of me, but I'm hard-stuck, Bronze, but don't worry if I continue to blame the Jungler; I'll make it out soon.
After a few hours of this and scouring Twitter, I heard a know on my door.
"Yo Fin, you sleepin'?"
I recognised the voice as Max.
"Nah, come in, bro."
Max swung the door open, eyeing the room before sniffing the air.
"So you and Gina had some fun last night."
Max was 16. He was the tallest of the three of us, standing at 6'9. At school, we'd call him Yao Ming cause 1. he was Asian, 2. he was a tall Asian and 3. he liked basketball; it was given.
"Yeah, although I only remember snippets. However, I vividly remember you being rejected by Samantha." I smiled. "I can't image trying to spend all year hanging out only to get the friend zone treatment."
I started to laugh.
"Oh fuck you, Fin, ain't Gina still not going out with you? Haven't you been with her since the start of the year?" Mark countered.
I raised my arms. " Aye, aye. Fair enough. I still hit through, so maybe - stay in your lane."
Before Mark could do anything, Joel poked his head through the door gap.
"Hey, Mark, it's your turn to clean the toilet," Joel ordered.
Joel was the total opposite of me. He mostly fit the 'big brother' role of the group; this was even more so in the apartment as he'd be the one making sure everyone went to school fine, packing lunches, and doing the work.
He also happened to be the shortest at 5'11, making him the target of much of the group's jokes. Honestly, though, I wouldn't have made it through most of high school without him; none of us would've.
Mark sighed, "Stupid toilet!" before exiting the room.
I nodded, focusing on my losing game.
...
It was around midday, and I was lying on the sofa, mindlessly scrolling through TikTok. I don't know what I'm gonna do now. Lazing around isn't gonna do me any good. I switched off my phone and sprang up from the sofa.
I think a walk would be good for clearing my head.
I closed the main door behind me and began walking down the street. The sun was at its peak.
My sneakers crunched against the gravel as I strolled, hands shoved deep into my pockets. It was a day like any other, yet it wasn't. I couldn't help but recall this morning's conversation with Gina; it still clung to my conscience.
I pulled out my phone. Graduation posts filled the timeline: cap-and-gown selfies, heartfelt captions, and plans for the future. Then, her photo popped up. She was smiling, with my arm wrapped around her, the kind of smile that made it impossible to tell if she was truly happy or just pretending. I stared at it for a moment too long before locking my phone and shoving it back into my pocket.
My stomach growled, reminding me I hadn't eaten. I made my way to the corner store. It was run by a neighbour, Little Tony, and it's the place I'd been going to since I was a kid. The bell above the door jingled as I walked in, and the cashier—a middle-aged man with a kind smile—nodded in greeting.
"Aye! Finn, my boy!" he said. "Big plans for the day?"
I shook my head. "Not really. Just… figuring things out."
He chuckled. "That's what summers are for, right? Enjoy it while you can."
I forced a smile and grabbed a sandwich and a bottle of water. After paying, I stepped outside, the bell jingling behind me again. Leaning against the wall, I unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. The bread was stale, but I didn't care. It filled the silence and gave me something to do.
The minutes passed in a blur of small, unremarkable moments
*NNNN*
My pocket was vibrating. A message from Gina.
"We need to talk"
"At Tony's, pull up."
Well, this isn't gonna be good...
...
Gina and I started a relationship like most things in high school—casual, unassuming, and not meant to last. Gina was someone I knew but didn't really understand. She had this aura of detachment, like nothing could touch her. We shared a few classes and exchanged the occasional sarcastic comment, but that was the extent of it until one night in Junior year.
It was like any other party, with the smell of cheap beer and shitty cologne. I remember consoling Joel as he was vomiting in a bush outside. He couldn't hold his beer well, but of course, he wanted to drink anyway.
While I was with him, it was when I saw her.
Gina was sitting on the porch steps, her knees drawn up, her fingers wrapped around a vape pen. She wasn't looking at anyone, just staring out into the dark like she was above it all.
Something about her made me stop. I approached her.
"You look like you're having a blast," I said, leaning against the railing. She turned her head, her lips curling into a smirk.
"And you look like you're trying way too hard to be interesting," she shot back.
I laughed, and she rolled her eyes, taking another puff.
That was Gina—always sharp, always a little mean, but never boring. We talked for a while, or rather, I talked, and she tried to keep up. By the end of the night, I'd somehow convinced her to let me walk her home.
Our relationship wasn't love, not by a long shot.
As you know, Gina makes it clear from the that she didn't do relationships.
"Labels are for people who need validation," she'd said once. "I'm not one of those people."
I nodded, pretending to agree, even though something about it didn't sit right with me. But I went along with it because, I mean - who wouldn't? I didn't want to lose whatever it was we had.
We fell into a routine. She'd text me a simple "You up?" late at night, and I'd go running. We'd spend a few hours together, talking about nothing or just lying there in silence, and then I'd leave.
It was casual, exactly what she wanted, and I told myself I was fine with it. But deep down, I resented it. I resented the way she could shut me out so easily, the way she made me feel like I was always chasing something I'd never catch.
This morning, in particular, was something I couldn't forget.
I didn't say anything after that. What could I say? Gina didn't believe in happy endings or even the possibility of them. She lived with an idea of how her life would go while I was in the moment, detached and self-assured. I was left trying to piece together the scraps of something that wasn't even real.
"Oi Louvre, you still in there?"
With her calling my voice, I snapped back to reality. We were sitting in Tony's, and in front of me was a pregnancy test.
A positive pregnancy test.
It wasn't dramatic, not like in the movies. She said it matter-of-factly like she was telling me the weather.
"I'll handle it," she said. "Don't worry about it."
"What do you mean, 'don't worry about it'?" I asked, my voice rising. "This isn't just your decision."
She gave me a look, one that made me feel small and stupid.
"Actually, it is. It's my body, my choice. You don't get a say, Finn. That's just how it is."
I wanted to argue, to fight her on it, but what was the point? Gina didn't care about what I thought or felt. She never had. To her, I was just another piece of her life she could discard when it stopped fitting into her future plans.
Gina then left.
I thought I would be scared or anxious even, but all I felt was anger. I ran out of the deli and ran towards Gina. IF my mind was a fog before, it was now an unbridled storm, I could think of anything else.
But it was ultimately for nothing.
My state of mind left me driven, unable to focus on the world around me. I heard it—the screech of tyres, the roar of an engine. Time slowed down the way it always does in moments like these.
I turned my head just in time to see it: a truck barreling toward me, too fast, too close.
For a split second, I froze. It's not something you think about, freezing.
It just happens.
Your brain locks up, your body refuses to move, and all you can do is watch as everything unfolds. The driver was honking, shouting something I couldn't hear.
And then, impact.
The force of it was unimaginable. One second, I was standing there, and the next, I was flying through the air, my body weightless, untethered. I could feel my entire body on fire; I hit the pavement hard, the world spinning around me. Pain shot through me, sharp and all-consuming, and then… nothing.
Just blackness.
When I opened my eyes, everything felt distant and muted, like I was watching my own life through a foggy window.
There were voices—panicked, urgent—but they sounded far away. My chest felt heavy, my limbs unresponsive. I tried to move, to speak, but nothing happened. All I could do was lie there, staring up at the sky as the light faded.
It was strange, as were the things that went through my mind in those moments. I didn't think about Gina or my regrets about our so-called relationship. I didn't think about my friends or even the life I couldn't fix. What I thought about was the child that could have been. The life I could have given them, the person I could have become for them. It was like all the pieces of my life had suddenly fallen into place.
It's too late to matter.
And then, the fear set in. Not fear of dying—no, that was almost a relief. The fear was of leaving behind nothing. No legacy, no impact, no one to remember me for who I really was. I'd spent so much time trying to figure out who I was that I wasn't even able to do so before it was being ripped away from me.
It wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair.
I knew I could only blame myself for how I lived my life.
But fuck man!
Although even in that nothingness, there was something—a flicker, faint but persistent. It wasn't a memory or a thought, not exactly. It was a feeling, a presence, something that felt bigger than me, bigger than everything I'd ever known.
It was strangely comforting and terrifying all at once, like stepping into the unknown without returning.
And then, just when I thought I'd slipped away completely, I felt a pull, a force dragging me forward through the darkness and into the light. It wasn't the end. It was something else. Something new.
Something I was going to be ready for.
A/N:
I finally started; I hope I did well in giving you an idea of how Fin as a character is and will be going into the story. If you have any problems, criticisms or feedback, I would love to hear it.
Cheers.