"Oh my god, Y/N, that's amazing!" He yells, rushing over to hug you. He squeezes you so tightly, like a proud dad. It filled your heart with so much joy. Jessie and Hayden had the same reaction when you told them the next day, but then sadness filled the room.
"I can't believe you're really leaving." Hayden pouts. You take his hand, holding it tightly.
"I'll be back. I promise." You smile. "It's only for a few months. And it'll be good for me to get away. From everything."
"I still can't believe Jake did that to you." Jessie sighs. "I broke up with him, by the way." She tells you.
"What? Why? You really liked him." You gasp.
"I did, but the fact that he could do that to his own sister is just appalling." She says.
"His heart was in the right place, Jess. He definitely went about it the wrong way, but don't let it ruin your relationship. You seem to be having a positive impact on him and I like that." You smile.
Later that day, you went home. You see a depressed Jake sitting on the couch, wallowing in self pity and ice cream. The second he sees you, he jumps off the couch. A tear rolls down his bruised cheek.
"Y/N.. I'm so fucking sorry." He whispers. "I was so selfish and just such a piece of shit.. my god, I'm so sorry for everything." He tells you. You walk towards him, wrapping your arms around him.
"I know.. I know your heart was in the right place." You sign.
"But I went about it in the worst possible way. And I will never forgive myself for that, Y/N. I was really just trying to protect you." He says, holding you tighter.
"I know you were." You say. "I forgive you, but I'm still so fucking mad at you.
"Jessie is too. She broke up with me." Jake sighs.
"I spoke to her already, I'm sure you'll be getting a call soon." you smile. "Listen.. I have some news." You say, pulling away from him. You lead him to the couch to sit down.
"Oh god, what?" He whispers. You can tell he's scared.
"I got accepted for a scholarship at a university.. across the country." You grin.
"Oh my god, Y/N! That's so amazing! I'm so happy for you!" He yells. "How long are you gone for?" He asks.
"Just a few months.. but given everything, I need a few months away." You half chuckle.
"I think so too. A nice little fresh start. Recharge and do a lot of thinking. Make some new friends. I'm really excited." You say.
"When do you leave?" He asks.
"Saturday.."
"That's tomorrow!?" He panics, standing up. "Get upstairs and get packing! Right now!" He exclaims. You laugh as you stand up, pulling him in for another hug. You head upstairs to your room, pulling out your suitcases and start packing, making sure to do the essentials first. A few hours into your packing, there's a knock at your door.
"I am packing Jake, don't worry!" You yell. The door opens.
You turn around, Mark stands there. You don't know what to say.
"You're really leaving?" He asks.
"Not forever." You say. "But this is a great opportunity and I need time."
"She's not pregnant." He blurts out. "It was a false alarm."
"I'm sorry."
"Why? I didn't want to have a baby with her, I don't even want to be with her. It's you, Y/N. I know everything has been shit these last few months and I'm so sorry for that but it's all done. Everything is out in the open, we can really be together." He smiles.
"Mark…" you sigh.
"Please Y/N. Please don't go. I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I want it all with you, I'm all fucking in. Just please." He begs. "Please don't leave me."
"I love you." You tell Mark, grabbing his hands. "I've loved you through all the shit, and I'm sure I'll always love you, but you and me, right now, cannot happen." You say.
"Mentally, I am not in the right space to be in a relationship with you. Not after everything that's happened."
His head drops, you can see his shoulders shake as you hear his breath shudder, letting it out. "I'm sorry. But I need time. You need time. We need to heal, separately and if when I'm back in a few months, then we can see." You whisper.
You didn't give him a guarantee. You couldn't. You didn't know how you were going to heal, or how you were going to feel in a few months. You didn't know who was going to help you heal. He didn't even know how he would feel in a few months. Everything was up in the air and only time would tell. If when you got back the feelings were still there for you and him, then maybe.
"I'll wait for you. I'm going to start going to therapy, I'm really going to turn my life around to be the best version of myself for you." He tells you.
"Don't do it for me, Mark. Do it for you. And if I'm lucky enough, I'll get to be with that version. But if someone comes into your life, don't reject them just because of me. If we're meant to be, then we will be." You smile. "Now go, I have to finish packing and I have to be at the airport really early."
"Can I take you?" He asks.
"Jake is.. but you can come." You say. He half smiles, nodding his head before turning out of your room. Your heart felt heavy and it took everything in you not to burst into tears and hold onto him for dear life. You didn't want to leave him but you knew if you stayed, things would get worse. The two of you were toxic and you didn't want the relationship to continue like that. You loved him as he loved you. And if your love was strong enough then it could withstand some distance.
"Be safe. Call me. A lot." Jake chuckles, giving you the biggest hug. You moved on to Jessie, and then Hayden and then Chris, who all had also decided to come see you off. The last person you had there was Mark. You wrap your arms around him as he holds you so close. You take a deep breath, inhaling his scent for the last time for a while. You both pull away, you smile at him, he smiles back. He presses his lips to yours, a short, sweet peck. A tear rolls down your cheek. He wipes it away with his thumb, keeping his palm on your cheek.
"I love you." He whispers.
"I love you." You whisper back. You leave the group of the people you loved most in the world, walking through the gates to your fresh start.
When you landed, it was like you finally felt like you could breathe. You gathered your bag and went to the front doors of the airport, seeing a driver with your name on a sign. He took your bags, leading you outside to his car. The air smells different, it was almost crisper, fresher, the vibes were nicer, the people seemed happier. You immediately fell in love with the place, and you'd barely seen anything yet.
Over the next few days, you got used to your schedule, you finally met your roommate, she was so nice. You made a few friends from your classes and you felt like you were beginning to live again. As the days went on, they passed into weeks, and with every second, every minute, every hour, you thought less and less about Mark.
You thought less about the agonizing months the two of you went through, the betrayal you felt from your own brother. Your mind was becoming clearer, and you were beginning to wonder if Mark was truly the right fit for you and you needed to find out if you were capable of loving someone else so passionately. So when a guy from your class asked you on a date, there was no hesitation when you said yes, and you honestly were so glad you did.
"You look gorgeous." Kaleb smiles, offering his hand to you. You happily take it, walking down the street from your dorm, following his lead. The two of you talked while you walked, looking in all the little shops, never running out of things to talk about it. It was refreshing, and so easy. There were no games, no secrecy, no toxicity and it was something you clearly had been craving. The sense of normalcy in a relationship, though you weren't sure if you were quite ready for that. You were happy enough to just be out doing things with someone new.
"So, what was your life back in your hometown?" Kaleb asks. The two of you had sat down at a little restaurant with tables outside, ordering a few appetizers as the two of you learned more about each other.
"It was, um." You pause. "Eventful?" You say, unsure of the word yourself.
"That's definitely a first." Kaleb laughs. "I've never heard someone describe their life as eventful."
"It wasn't eventful in a good way." You say, twiddling your thumbs under the table. "I don't really wanna get into it right now, but there are important people that hurt me, that I left behind when I came here. I needed a fresh start to clear my head."
"You don't have to tell me anything if you're not comfortable." Kaleb smiles. "I'm glad you're here though." He says.
"I'm glad I'm here too." You grin. "And thank you for tonight. It's been a while since I've been this happy."
"You have a beautiful smile. I would love to see you happy all the time." Kaleb says, just as the food is being brought out. You look down, hiding the blush that has spread across your face.
Suddenly you see Mark in your head. A split second flash of his face and guilt consumed you. You knew you shouldn't feel guilty, you weren't dating him.
"You okay?" Kaleb asks, bringing you out of your thoughts.
"Yeah, I'm all good." You laugh, digging into the food. "Oh my god." You say. "This is so good."
"Right? I could eat here everyday." Kaleb exclaims.
That night, you laid in your bed, listening to the faint snores of your roommate as you stared at your ceiling. After Kaleb had dropped you off, you took a shower, and called Jake. It took all you had not to ask about Mark, you really just wanted to know how he was doing. A single tear rolls down your cheek. You close your eyes, picturing the way Mark wiped it away that morning at the airport. You missed his touch but you had only been gone for a month. It wasn't time, you weren't done with your healing. You were just beginning, still having four months left here.
Over the next few months, you and Kaleb became almost inseparable. If you weren't in class, you were studying together, going out to eat, for drinks, hanging out with other friends. The feeling was quite indescribable but you were so happy and you really liked Kaleb. Until, he leaned in to kiss you, and while he was a good kisser, and it was a nice kiss, the romantic feelings, the sparks, just weren't there. It was disappointing because he was such a nice guy, but you couldn't help how you felt.
"I really like you, Y/N." Kaleb smiles as he pulls away from you.
"I like you too.." you pause. His smile fades.
"But?" He asks.
"I really wanted to feel something romantic towards you. Like, desperately. But there's someone back home.. that I apparently just can't get over." You sigh.
"Your first love?" He asks. You nod your head. "Is he the cause of those eventful months you talked about a while ago?"
You nod your head again. "Before I left, he told me he was going to try really hard to change and to do better. And as much as I want to move on from him, it seems to be impossible." You sigh.
"I don't think the feelings of your first love ever really go away." He chuckles. "I know if my first love popped back up, it would be over for everyone."
"I'm really sorry." You say.
"Don't be. But don't lose him, not like I lost mine. I was such a piece of shit to her, but I wasn't willing to change for her. If he has changed then hold onto him, but if he hasn't, don't be afraid to let him go, Y/N."
"I'm gonna miss you." You sniffle, wrapping your arms around him.
After Kaleb dropped you off that night, you made a quick call to the airline, changing your flight to the next morning, instead of a few days later like your original flight. You were ready to go home and see everyone. When you landed, Hayden and Chris were waiting at the airport for you. They smiled so widely as they embraced you tightly, groaning about how they were never going to let you go again.
"It's been like a year." Hayden whines.
"It was like 5 months." You giggle.
"That's basically a year." He sighs.
"It's good to have you home." Chris grins, ruffling your hair.
The three of you walk out of the airport, heading to the car where you were heading to surprise Jake at home. He had thought you were arriving for a few more days, so you were excited to shock him by just showing up.
You leave your bags with the boys, heading straight inside, hoping Jake was actually home. You open the door, walk in. "Helloo?" You call out. "Is anybody home?"
"Y/N!?" Jake screams, running from the kitchen. He bolts straight for you, almost knocking you over as he wraps his arms around you. "How?" He gasps. "When? How?"
"I just missed you all too much." You laugh, holding onto him even tighter. He lets go of you, taking your hand in his to pull you to the kitchen. "I have something to show you." He says. You get into the kitchen seeing Jessie standing there, facing away from you.
"Are you gonna hug me or what!?" You laugh. "Also so glad you guys worked things out."
"Well we kinda had too." Jessie giggles, turning around. Your mouth drops as he rubs her belly.
"It's a girl." She sniffles.
"I'm.. I'm gonna be an auntie?" You gasp. You rush over to her, hugging her so tightly before pulling Jake in for a hug as well. "I'm so happy for you guys." You whine.
"Jake as a dad, who would have thought, huh?" You hear. Turning around you see Mark standing there, a smile on his healthy looking face. He looks happy, and so good.
"Never thought I'd see the day." You smile.
"Good to have you back, Y/N." He says, walking up to you with his arms open. You walk into him, wrapping your arms around him. It felt so good, so right.
It felt like home.
"I missed you." You say.
"I missed you too." He says. "How was it?"
"It was good." You tell him, releasing him from the hug. "I met a lot of really great people." You smile.
"Did you.. move on?" He asks.
"I hung out with this guy for a while, he kissed me, but it just didn't feel right." You say. "But he really helped me heal and figure things out."
"I'm glad you were able to heal, and become yourself again." He tells you.
"Me too. You look well..did you.. move on?" You ask.
"No." He chuckles. "I had a lot of self reflection to do and a lot of self improvement to work on. Y/N, I swear." He pauses. "If you give me one more chance, I will never make you feel the way I did. I promise you."
"I think.. I'd like to start over." You grin.
He laughs. "Well in that case.. Hi, my name is Mark and I'd really like to take you out for coffee."
"Hi Mark, I'm Y/N.. I think I'd really like that."
The End.