Miriam turned each page, sipping on her hot tea. Kier had been needed elsewhere and though he'd promised to return, Miriam took the chance to sneak off to the library.
She was in the back sections, pulling a chair, the diary, and then other books along with her. Sitting on the chair, she went back to reading the diary, then frowned as strange symbols appeared on the pages.
It seemed to be another form language, and to Miriam's horror, all of the pages after this diary entry were written in that language.
Frustrated, Miriam dropped the diary on the other stack, sighing loudly.
A commotion down the halls had her scrambling to hide the diary as she grabbed a random one, and opened it to a random page.
The library doors flew opened, and Kier looked around frantically before settling back down.
"My lady, you shouldn't disappear like that." Kier said as he walked towards her and held out a hand to help her out of her seat.
Miriam sighed as she took his hand, holding on to her book, the diary hidden behind it.
"I was just doing some light reading, Kier. You didn't need to worry." she assured him, and Kier sighed.
"My lady, it's my duty and job to watch over you as your personal guard. Your father will quite have my head if you disappear like that again." Kier replied, and Miriam nodded, following as they headed back to her room.
"I understand. But I don't want to feel like I'm locked up in my room. I should be able to venture out around the estate and get familiar with everything once more." Miriam pointed out, and Keir stopped to stare at her, his face surprised. "What?"
"I apologize, my lady, you just...you haven't wanted to leave your room since Elyanna left for her betrothal in the kingdom of Leo." he explained, looking at her reaction.
"Oh well..." Miriam didn't really have an explanation for that.
"It's okay, my lady. It fills me with joy that you are gradually getting over her. Besides, it's not like you'd have the approval of your father to marry. You need an heir for Azuris after all." Kier explained, and Miriam frowned but kept quiet.
He then noticed her holding her diary.
"Great idea my lady! Reading from your diary in past entries should jog your memories forward." Kier praised, and Miriam pulled him to a stop, hesitant at first.
"Well...I was reading it but then like...past a certain number of pages it just changes into a language I've never read." Miriam admitted, Kier looking at her curiously.
"May I take a look?" he asked, and Miriam thought it through.
She should be able to trust Kier, right? He was her bodyguard, and he was also the one that saved her from dying on that beach.
Miriam made her choice as she handed over her diary, Kier taking it from her with great care.
He read through the pages slowly, then did a double take.
"My lady, this language is the language of Eclipe-a literal dead language. However you learned to write this is beyond me." Kier explained.
"Can you translate it?" she asked him, and he seemed to look over the page some more, shaking his head.
"I can only translate languages that still exist. Eclipean is a language that no longer exists." he handed the diary back, a look of sorrow on his face.
"It's fine Kier, it was worth a shot." she replied, taking it back. "Was there a reason you were looking for me by the way?"
"I was curious if you were feeling up to the task of roaming the estate my lady. Maybe get familiarized with the area once more." he suggested.
Miriam pondered it, and she did consider it.
But maybe it was the injuries she sustained, or maybe it was the cold reality that she was going to have to accustom herself to this new reality for the rest of her life that she felt a wave of weariness overcome her. She could fall asleep right now where she was standing.
"Thank you, Kier, but maybe later? I'm suddenly feeling so tired." Miriam admitted, and Kier placed his large hand on her forehead, checking for a fever.
He looked concerned but then relaxed.
"You have no fever my lady. I think you are actually tired." he replied, and Miriam nodded. "Very well. You should rest and I'll stand guard."
"You don't have to do that, Kier. You can do what you need to do." Miriam replied.
"And risk you leaving your room like you did earlier?" Not a chance. I can have the servants bring you up some tea if you like."
"No, it's quite alright. Fine, Kier, if you'd like to be my warden, then stay out here and watch out for danger. I really do just want to lie down and sleep." Miriam replied, opening the door, and heading to the bed. She kicked off her shoes, and went into the closet, slipping off her dress, and then struggled to take off the corset.
Once she managed to squeeze out of it, she breathed a sigh of relief, and then put on a sleeping gown, getting under the covers.
The drowsiness increased and she promptly fell asleep.
Her chest ached, and she felt like she couldn't breathe.
But she made no movement to surface back for air, instead forcing her body still so she could sink lower and lower into the ocean.
No one knows I'm here, she thought to herself, and that's okay.
No one will miss me...least of all...her.
As the salt burned her nose, her mouth opened, and the water surged in-
Miriam sputtered awake, choking on air as she threw off the blankets from her body. Sweat clung to her skin, and she wiped her face off, her hands shaking.
The dream plagued her mind, making it hard for her to move or even breath. Had that been the original Miriam's final thoughts as she sank into the bottom of the ocean? And had it really been because of Elyanna?
This Miriam pulled up her knees under her chin and wrapped her arms around them. For original Miriam to have loved with such intensity and to throw it away when it wasn't reciprocated or even acceptable, she must have been on her last straw.
Looking around the room, current Miriam could understand original Miriam's struggle. The struggle of the loss of her mother at thirteen, and then an unfamiliar love that occurred at such a young age but instead of disappearing, it only grew over time.
She grabbed the diary with careful fingers, opening it to the page where original Miriam had started writing Eclipean.
The words swirled under her fingertips, and she blinked, the way the words looked becoming clearer.
Snatching up the book in her hands, she scanned over it, her lips parting in surprise.
She could actually read it now.
The first diary entry in Eclipean spoke out to her.
I've turned eighteen yesterday which mean the suitors are going to be rolling in soon.
I've been avoiding them like the plague since I was sixteen, but I know Father dreams of me meeting someone and marrying him. Having an heir to continue on the lineage of my family.
But I've been busy looking for the jewels of the kingdom. I have a plan that will make my life easier-and Elyanna's, if only she could see having an arranged marriage was a terrible idea.
I've never seen anyone so hell-bent on trying to please their father like her, even though I keep assuring her that she's worthy enough of all any type of love.
But I know my words though appreciated are ignored; they mean nothing if it's not coming from her father.
Miriam paused for a moment, processing at what she just read. She turned to the next page.
Last night, as we met on our usual spot, I decided to tell her how I felt. The feelings and love I have for her fester in my heart and now took root in my mind.
She's everything I've ever wanted in a person and-
A knock on the door has Miriam jumping in her bed. Without a thought, she chucked the diary in her desk drawer, then smoothed out her sleeping gown over her legs.
"Come in." she said, breathless.
A maid stepped in, greeting her warmly.
"Good day my lady. I'm here to help you get ready for tonight's dinner." she greeted, and Miriam wiped the sweat from her palms on her nightgown.
"Can I just have dinner in my room?" she asked instead, desperately wanting to finish the diary.
"No can do, my lady. Your father wants to enjoy the feast he's prepared for you tonight since he's been summoned off to one of the other kingdoms. I don't remember which one." the maid answered, Miriam sighing.
"Very well. Thank you." Miriam replied, getting up as she followed after the chirpy maid, the diary still in her mind.
One way or another, she was going to get answers.