She kept staring out the window, trying to remember how many leaves were layered upon one another. The next morning, she woke up to find his name neatly written on her reading table, following the night she had asked him what his name was. It hurt, and it was deeply frustrating. Until she collapsed in the middle of the diner a few days ago, she hadn't realized how much his name meant to her. She knew his name by heart, yet she still felt more comfortable calling him by the silly nickname she had given him back when she was ignorant and naive.
What was then happening to her?
Charlotte moved on her bed in discomfort.
Memories of her childhood were also getting blurry and hard to recall. Even the precious ones she cherished with Ree-ree were slowly saying goodbye to her as the pain in her head persists.
Did she hit her head so hard on something that day she collapsed? And the price for that single act of weakness from her was losing every good thing that made up her childhood and early teen years?
She fell back on the bed as hot tears pooled at the corner of her eyes and began to trickle down her cheeks. She can't even remember vividly how many tea parties she has had with him until this moment. What was his favorite genre of movie? The book she always stayed up all night reading to him because he loved when the antagonist had a valid reason to be so mean and vengeful toward the protagonist.
Charlotte sobbed out as getting up from this bed was like a battle between life and death. Her legs were oddly numb, and she had this feeling she wouldn't survive taking a few steps away from this bed. All she could do was stare at the ceiling and the sky, not too far from where she lay, unable to regain control of herself.
It was the most trying period of her life, and Ree-ree had left her in radio silence.
That world—or rather, that part of her mind she visits whenever she falls asleep—where Ree-ree claims to belong, filled her with an irresistible urge to return and remain with him there forever.
What usually seemed like an easy thing for her to do was now proving difficult? Her eyes were wide open in this world, refusing to cooperate with her to close and take her back to that world of bliss. Where Ree-ree was with a physical body she could touch, feel and hold on to forever.
She groaned as she tried to sit up and be on her feet again to investigate how to put her in a state where she would never want to wake up but sleep eternally. The doors to her private ward opened immediately when in her endless fight and struggle to rise, she began to thrash every single thing beside her.
The nurse who had been in-charge of her for more than five years now rushed over to her and tried to keep her still. Her mother and her new French lover came rushing in as well to the scene.
Charlotte refused to back down. She wasn't going to let them be the reason she couldn't be with Ree-ree forever. Maybe it was even because of this hellish place that reeked heavily of antiseptic that Ree-ree hasn't made himself known to her.
This place and the people in it.
''Let me go!'' She cried out as the wicked nurse held her still on the bed. Her mom just stood beside her bed, sobbing in the arms of a stranger she hadn't seen before in her life. He stared down at her in what felt like sympathy, and she suddenly grew curious to know who he was.
She stilled, prompting the nurse to quickly prepare another dose of sedatives to sedate her with.
''Who is this?'' She whispered weekly to her mom, who has refused to let go of the hands of this foreigner. He looked so pale, tall, and healthy. Handsome and everything her mother has ever fantasized about her ideal man.
After the brief silence that stretched forth in the room, her mother then broke away from his firm grip to move close to her with heavy tears running down her cheeks.
''Sweetie,''
Charlotte cringed as she had never been called like that before by her. Maybe once in her slowly disappearing memories of her childhood.
''I would like you to meet Daniel. We have both been in a relationship for more than…'' She paused as if checking to see if it was appropriate to let her know about the time they had been in a relationship. ''…it's been quite a long-time now. And he has agreed to fill the space with the father figure in your life. So, please, I am begging you for Christ sake to let go of Ree-ree and embrace this new joyful life of yours and be happy.''
Charlotte stared at them both for the longest time. She had never gazed this long at anyone before. She turned away from them as a fresh set of tears streamed down the corner of her face. Feeling the slight pinch of the injection on a part of her left arm, gulping down the pain and the feel of it.
So that is how easily forgotten a first love is and replaced after being murdered.
Charlotte didn't know what hurt the most—the sharp pain in her chest, the relentless pounding in her head, or the creeping numbness that was slowly overtaking her entire body.
''Charlotte…?'' Her mother whispered softly somewhere beside her as her eyes began to fall close, and her mind began to grow heavy, signalling she had had more than enough of today's drama, and it was time for her to rest again.
''Ree-ree,'' She began quickly before she let this sleep overtake her senses. ''In case you're afraid that I might one day harm you and bury your remains six feet under without anyone knowing.''
Miranda froze on a spot at her daughter's words.
''Simply because I grew tired of a part of you I couldn't love enough to endure–know that this fear is unfounded. If you're worried I might replace you in my life with someone incomparable to you, let me assure you…'' Charlotte gulped as the effect of whatever was in her system was slowly overpowering her will to say everything before she fell asleep again. ''you are truly loved by me and completely irreplaceable.''
So please just show yourself to me so that I can be sane again.
Her eyes then fluttered close with a smile when the wind that caressed her face was just too soft and comforting not to be known as Ree-ree's doing.