Sometimes, I wondered why my life kept getting darker and darker. Each time I pushed through a setback, another one loomed right in front of me.
When would it end?
Isn't there supposed to be sunlight after darkness?
Is that just wishful thinking?
And the most important question of all...
Could I grit my teeth and push through this time?
In the end, I never could. I'm so fed up with this endless abyss... I needed a way out.
This is the story of how I escaped this hell of mine.
In a world, where the majority of people were living their ordinary lives and enjoying their best moments along with enduring their worst. There was someone who constantly lived in an endless series of unfortunate incidents. One after another, days and nights…
How was that fair?
"Give me your damned money, prick!" A stern voice barked from the centre of a group of delinquents, their menacing presence closing in on a timid boy with thick glasses, trembling under their gaze.
"But I need it for lunch, I haven't had any, please!" The boy begged with tears.
"Shut the hell up!" one of the delinquents snarled, landing a brutal punch squarely on the boy's face, sending him crashing to the ground with a thud.
"Search the bitch, he must have hidden it somewhere!" The spiky-haired rascal commanded the gangs. They hurriedly stripped the boy's shirt and trousers, leaving nothing but his shorts on.
"Yo, Katsuki! You are late so we go ahead and extort this little bitch." The spiky head turned to talk to the black-haired boy, who just arrived, both hands in pockets.
Katsuki's abyssal eyes cut through the room, delivering "fear" straight to everyone's nervous system.
"Ah!? Ma~mann? I didn't mean to offend you at all, Katsuki!" The spike head urgently explained. He was scared for his life with just one horrifying gaze, "What a menacing glance!" He thought.
"That's fine." Katsuki brushed them off with a shrug. He then directed his attention toward the curling kid on the ground.
"I think he hides it in his crotch." Katsuki pointed at the bulging area between his legs. In response, the delinquents returned a mischievous grin.
"Bro, you were so cooool!" Spike-headed rascal praised Katsuki as he happily counted the money in his hand.
"Exactly, your killer stare though." The fat one added agreeingly.
"Should have seen your face, fatso. When you were pulling the wallet from that kid's ass. HAHAHAHA!" The tall rascal mocked and laughed hysterically.
The delinquents were speaking and laughing loudly in the school hallway, their boisterous behaviour creating an oppressive atmosphere. Other students, clearly uncomfortable, quickly chose to avoid their path, keeping their heads down. All except for one tall guy, who stood firmly in front of the gang, his unflinching stance a silent challenge to their authority.
"I'm so fed up with you brats!" A tall senior yelled, his eyes filled with a mixture of fury and annoyance.
"Huh? What is this guy's deal?"
"I dunno, Katsuki do your thing."
Katsuki casually stepped forward to face the tall senior, his expression calm and unreadable. He didn't say a word, he didn't need to — just stared blankly into the senior's eyes. The moment their gazes met, an icy dread washed over the senior, and his legs began to tremble uncontrollably with terror.
"I~I'm, I'm NOT AFRAID of you, BRAT!!!" The senior shouted so loud to the point that it grabbed everyone's attention.
"Hahahaha, what are you gonna do, senpai? You can barely stand!" The tall rascal teased, shoving him down, clashing on the floor. The senior didn't get up.
"I didn't think so," Katsuki muttered coldly, his tone sharp as a blade. He cast a fleeting glance down his nose before turning away. The gang followed his lead, swaggering off as if they owned the place, their misdeeds continuing unabated.
It's late afternoon and Katsuki's plan was to bail as soon as possible. He hated everything about school, teachers, students, and everyone. As he coursed through the school grounds, he ran into the timid kid with thick glasses again. Figuring it was the right time to have some talk with the kid, Katsuki blocked the kid's path with his towering height.
"Katsuki?! I don't have anything left… Please let me go." The kid pleaded, avoiding his gaze.
In a surprising turn of events, it was Katsuki who quietly stepped forward and handed something back.
"Huh? Is~is that my wallet?"
"Yeah… take it."
"Oh..."
"I…, um…, put some money back, too," Katsuki explained, rubbing his dark hair.
"Eh? Why would you help me, Kurosawa-san?"
"Don't ask, kiddo." Katsuki turned his back to the boy.
"Thank you so much, this wallet means a lot to me." The tearful kid bowed his head in appreciation.
"Then next time, protect it yourself!" Katsuki grumbled as he walked away.
Katsuki returned home to gather his stuff before taking a bus to the other side of the town. The rascal boy casually went into the back of a convenience store.
In secret, he had been working as a part-time cashier for quite some time.
Although from the outside, Katsuki appeared to be a good-for-nothing rascal, living his life to spreading fear and discomfort, who could've thought that he was actually a smart and diligent boy.
After a long shift, Katsuki found himself captivated by the beauty of the full moon, its radiant glow illuminating the night sky. Standing in front of the convenience store, he cherished the serene, breathtaking view, a rare moment of peace in his chaotic life. He didn't want to go back home at all. If he could, he'd stay there forever, gazing at the moon under the starry night, lost in its quiet solace.
"I know it's you." Suddenly, a voice called out to him, it was a pale girl with long black hair who appeared right beside him.
"Um, do I know you?" Katsuki asked, turning to get a proper look at her. Her expressive dark eyes locked onto his, staring at him with a kind of quiet fascination. She looked stunning, her features softly illuminated under the gentle glow of the full moon, as if the night itself had framed her in its light.
"Fufufu, is that a joke?" She laughed gleefully. The girl appeared somewhat familiar to him but Katsuki couldn't pinpoint where.
"I just sit behind you in class. I'm Yuzuki, by the way!" The girl pointed at her face, introducing herself. "Don't remember?" She pressed.
"No…"
"I won't blame you though. We never talked before." She smiled sweetly, her silky, long hair was dancing and swirling when the wind blew.
"Right..." Katsuki muttered, his tone laced with irritation. The small talk felt like nothing but a nuisance to him. Without another word, he began to turn away, his patience already wearing thin.
"Do you live around here? 'Cause I never met you before." Yuzuki pried out of curiosity, trying to get his attention.
"Yeah, something like that." Katsuki left without another word, not even a goodbye.
"KUZU!" The coarse shouting of his father rumbled the house as soon as he entered. The boy began to quietly beeline toward his room.
"Where's the "I'm home"? Did you forget all the manners I taught you? You damn brat!" The man appeared to be holding a bottle of beer, sitting on the sofa. His father was a muscular man with black hair and dark eyes, his fierce eyes were similar to Katsuki's, condescendingly stared down at the boy.
"I'm home…" Katsuki submissively muttered under his breath, staring back at him.
"CUT THAT CRAP!" The rough-but-handsome man shouted as he shot up to his feet and landed a punch right at Katsuki's stomach. The impact sent a tremor all over his entire body.
"AARRH~!" Katsuki gritted his teeth, covering his mouth to muffle the scream, despite the searing pain coursing through him.
"Don't FUCKING look down on me, you worthless piece of shit!" The father cursed at the boy on the ground.
"Urrgh~!" His father kicked him in the stomach again, and Katsuki ground his teeth together, fighting to keep the scream from escaping. The boy could only curl up on the ground and accept his father's abusive reprimand.
"You think you are some cool rascal!?" The mad father asked, pulling his dark hair up to see his pathetic face properly.
"I got called from school today, you lil shit!"
"Money extortion?"
He stomped
"Bullying?"
And stomped.
"Physical harm?"
And he stomped.
"Loud and disturbing others?"
And again.
But none of it was really his fault. He hadn't done any of this; it was the gang's mischief, the actions of the people he'd been lumped with because of his terrifying eyes—the same eyes his father had.
Katsuki began to lose consciousness as the pain became unbearable.
"I wanted to escape..." He thought before everything completely faded to black.
A few days passed, and Katsuki started his shift as usual at the far-off convenience store. He had taken the job to save up some money. Despite everyone thinking he had no future, he refused to accept that as his reality. His plan was simple: save as much as he could for college, and build a life away from this miserable town.
"That'll be 890 yen, would you like to pay by cash or card?" Katsuki said his usual line.
"You look tired." The familiar voice urged him to glance up. It's that long-black-haired girl from last time, Yuzuki, he recalled.
"Card or cash, please?" He politely prompted her.
"So… you are actually working at the store?" The annoying girl asked, sweeping her curious eyes around.
"Sigh*... yeah… so what?" He irritatedly replied, rolling his eyes.
"It's so late, are you finishing up soon?" Yuzuki threw him another useless question.
"Yeah."
"Cool! Here you go." The girl cheerfully placed cash on the tray. Katsuki nimbly tapped the cash register and handed back the change, eager to get this over with. Anything to make her go away as soon as possible.
Katsuki let out a long exhale as he gazed up at the night sky. The long shift always ended with him stargazing absentmindedly. He came to appreciate the starry night and the quiet scenery like this even more.
"So you ain't lying after all," The same girl in her school uniform appeared next to him.
"Eh? You again." He stared at her, his brows furrowed into a frown. The girl seemed to be unbothered by his piercing gaze. "What an odd girl." He thought.
"Well, who could have thought that the worst degenerate in the class, the biggest bully, would work in a convenience store, serving customers." She spoke while sitting next to him.
"What are you saying? You think you can blackmail me with that?"
"What a pessimistic thought. Fufufu." Yuzuki giggled cutely, cupping her mouth.
"Tsk!" He clicked his tongue in irritation.
"Of course, your little secret is safe with me."
"I couldn't care less, to be honest."
"What exactly do you want?" Katsuki spoke up, cutting to the chase.
"I dunno, maybe you and me…" She pointed at the boy and then pointed at herself. "Friend?"
"Haha, what kind of sick joke is this?"
"I'm serious," Yuzuki replied with a genuine conviction in her beautiful eyes.
"As you know, I'm the worst guy you wanna be around. So get off my back." Katsuki rationalised. Ever since he met this girl, his peaceful gaze became disturbed, and he would do anything to get it back.
"But you are not, right?" Her dark eyes mirrored Katsuki's reflection.
"..." He was lost for words.
"I saw what you did. You tried to lessen the bully, you occasionally stopped them when they were going too far…"
"What do you know about me?" He bared his teeth, turning his pathetic face away.
"Don't fool yourself, I saw you returned Hanami's wallet the other day." She argued.
"Damn it!" The boy cursed under his breath before leaving without a word, he couldn't find a rebuttal.
The only place where he grasped the sense of tranquillity, was disturbed.
The reason he liked to gaze at the moon was because it was the only thing that offered him a sense of fairness and equality. No one could own it, no one could take it from him. Anyone, from anywhere, could cherish its beauty for free — all they had to do was look up at the night sky.
"What a foolish girl." He pondered, strolling aimlessly and kicking rocks as he went.
It was late dark pitch-black night when Katsuki arrived at the house. It disheartened him every time he opened the door. Not knowing if he would get physical abuse or verbal abuse or both.
His father, Kurosawa Masarai, was a star athlete who fell short after accidentally impregnating his mother. A few years after the second child was born, his mother ditched the abusive man along with Katsuki and never returned.
Unfortunately, Katsuki's face was a painful reminder of his mother, making him a subject of torture and domestic violence.
"I'm home…" Katsuki timidly announced his arrival, sweeping his anxious eyes across the room. It appeared the man had already gone to bed.
As the boy nimbly walked past his father's room. He heard a loud moan of both male and female seeping through.
It wasn't a big surprise; this wasn't the first time it had happened. His father frequently brought random women home to indulge in their guilty pleasures. In Katsuki's opinion, it was bizarre how his abusive father managed to be quite the charmer. Despite his brutal nature, he had a rough but handsome face, a tall, athletic physique with well-defined muscles and abs, and eyes that — like a predator — could captivate any prey he set his sights on.
Masarai worked as a labourer at a moving company, where stay-at-home wives often volunteered to supervise the packing and transportation, ensuring their items reached their new home safely.
It's unfathomable how the man managed to seduce those lustful and lonely wives.
"Adults make me sick to the stomach." Unlike his father, Katsuki had never touched a woman in his entire existence — and he never wanted to.
"KUZU!" His father called out to him from across the room. The boy sprung to his feet and anxiously walked to the door.
"Yes, Dad," Katsuki responded, scared.
"I need your help." Masarai swung the door open, the man appeared to be butt-naked. A pretty lady behind him covered herself with a white blanket while exchanging a brief look at Katsuki.
"I can't go to work tomorrow because she's insatiable, man!" He pretended to whisper so that she could hear, then he turned to charmingly wink at the beautiful lady.
"You know what you have to do, right?" The man asked in a serious tone.
"But… what about school?"
"Huh? You only went there to cause trouble anyway."
"Ah, understood, I'll go as your substitute."
"My man! I know I can rely on you, Kuzu." The man grabbed his shoulder firmly. The shirtless lady walked up and wrapped her arms around Masarai's shoulders. She couldn't even wait for a damn minute.
"Who's this handsome boy?" The lady asked, staring at him thoroughly, libidinously biting her lips.
"He's my son, of course. He got all the good features, can't you see?"
"Wow! True, true." The lady agreed as she began to caress his father's muscular torso erotically. The man appeared to be aroused despite Katsuki's presence.
"Disgusting," the boy sneered in his mind, concealing his true feelings. He forced a smile and walked away, burying his disgust beneath a mask.
"Let's go another round, my lady!" Katsuki faintly heard the two talking. The low-income accommodation often had cheap, thin walls, his house was no exception.
Katsuki buried his head in the pillow, desperately trying to muffle the sounds of pleasure and moaning that echoed throughout the night. Masarai hadn't lied when he labelled the woman as insatiable.
"Your Dad put you on again?" The old man asked him curiously, displeased when it was Katsuki who showed up to work at a moving company that morning.
"It's alright, sir. He's sick today." He lied.
"Sigh* you should be at school…"
Katsuki finished his father's work at an apartment building near the riverside. It was such a physically demanding job involving lifting, cleaning, scrubbing, etc. Nevertheless, Katsuki still was determined to work on his part-time job afterwards.
"I'm just gonna have these, please." A familiar voice echoed from the customer in front of him.
"Oh, it's you again." Katsuki recognised the beautiful girl with dark hair almost instantly.
"Did I start to grow on you yet? Fufufu." Yuzuki gleefully teased him, twirling her long silky hair.
"Definitely not. Card or cash?"
"Man, you're no fun at all," Yuzuki responded with disappointment in her expression, handing him cash.
"You are right, I'm anything but fun. Good night!" Katsuki pushed a few buttons and handed back the girl's change.
"Oh, my god! What happened to your hands?" The girl exclaimed with shock as she noticed his rough, scarred hands.
"Nothing." He quickly hid them behind his back in embarrassment.
"Let me see them again."
"Are you crazy? I'm not showing them to you."
"Then I won't leave, I'll stay here 'til you finish your shift." She stood her ground, her dark eyes brimmed with full of determination.
"F~fine… Jeez." Katsuki felt defeated, holding out his hands in front of the girl. He would hate it if someone like her, who had never known suffering, pitied him. He didn't need worthless empathy from anyone.
"Amazing! You must have been working hard, Katsuki-kun." She complimented him, her dark eyes widened in astonishment.
"Can I call you Katsuki-kun?" She made a selfish request with a gentle smile.
"Whatever."
"Hahaha, I guess I can feel closer to you that way." The girl rationalised with a clasp.
"I need to scare this girl away. Someone like her shouldn't cross paths with someone like me. We're meant to be parallel lines." Katsuki thought for a moment, then an idea floated into his mind. He'd just give her a thousand-yard stare — that ought to do the trick.
"..." The girl tilted her head to the side, puzzled.
"Fufufu, was that you trying to be intimidating?" The girl burst out laughing at him causing his face to flush red.
"Damn it! Why didn't it work?" Katsuki cursed under his breath.
"Good night then, Ka-tsu-ki-kun," The girl waved at him before rushing out the exit.
Katsuki exhaled in big relief, he was glad his peace and tranquillity had returned.
"Eh? This girl forgot her stuff you paid for." The boy was shocked. "She's definitely a thickhead, no doubt she has terrible judgement and comprehension."
"Maybe you and me… friends..." Katsuki reminisced about that day when the pretty girl had offered her companionship with those words. They had been lingering in his mind ever since.
"Does she really mean it?" He couldn't help but wonder.
Tonight, just like every night, Katsuki would spend his time alone gazing absentmindedly at the moonlit night sky in front of the quiet convenience store.
"Did you eat my stuff?" Yuzuki spoke up out of the blue, appearing right beside him.
"No, but I threw it all away."
"Meanie!" She puffed up her cheeks into a cute pout.
"Hahaha, I was joking. It's here." Katsuki laughed as he held out her items in the plastic bag.
"You should laugh more, you know," Yuzuki remarked casually, grabbing the bag.
"Why is that?"
"Guess it makes you less of a terrifier…"
"Ay! I'm not a terrifier!" Katsuki went with a full defence.
"Fufufu." They both chuckled collectively.
"Say… what do you like so much about the moon?" The girl glanced up above.
"Eh? How did she know?" A thought crossed his mind but he quickly shook it off. He then explained, "I just think it's something that's fair for everyone. Just look up and you'll get to gaze upon her beauty." Once again, Katsuki gazed at the full moon and lost in awe.
"It's not that deep, buddy." She mocked.
"Yeah, whatever." The boy brushed her off.
Several weeks passed, and a girl named Yuzuki visited Katsuki every day at the convenience store. As time went on, their relationship blossomed. Yuzuki guided Katsuki away from trouble, helping him break free from the delinquents and even motivating him to put more effort into his studies during classes.
"Wanna try this?" Yuzuki extended the half-eaten choco bar.
"Nope. You bit them already."
"Hey, you dislike me?" She pressed, keeping her eyes on the ground.
"Huh? Nothing like that…" Katsuki replied, he then leaned in and took a small bite from the snack bar.
"Woah, I wasn't expecting that!" Yuzuki exclaimed as she looked at him with slight amazement.
"What?!" The blood rushed to his face, making it turn bright red.
"I mean, you didn't use your hands, Fufufu!" The girl couldn't contain her laughter. She thought their interaction was cute like a wolf was being tamed into a domestic puppy.
"By the way... Katsuki-kun... did something happen to you at home?" After a pause, Yuzuki asked, her expression turning serious as she averted her pretty dark eyes.
"Huh? Nothing happened. Why do you ask?" Katsuki quickly lied, brushing off any mention of his home situation and the domestic violence from his abusive father. It wouldn't help him whatsoever if he told her the truth.
"Your left hand is limping." The girl asked, pointing at it.
"Ah, this? I just bumped into the doorway. No need to worry about it. I can be pretty clumsy sometimes."
"Let me see it." The girl urged firmly, outstretching her hand to touch his arm.
"Huh? I'm not showing it to you. Stop it!" He abruptly jerked away. But the girl managed to overpower him somehow, well, Katsuki wasn't a strong boy, to begin with. He was tall yet slender as a pole. She pulled out his short sleeve and spotted a circumferential bruise around his upper arm.
"Katsuki, were you abused at home? Was it your Dad?"
"Yeah… Don't worry about it. Once I graduate, I'll ditch this town for Tokyo." He clarified. It was the first time he'd ever confided in someone. It felt strangely right.
"Really? Is that why you've been secretly working at the store? You've been saving for all this time?"
"Yeah, something like that."
"How about I help you with studying? It seems like you missed school quite often, right?" The girl offered with enthusiasm.
"Huh?"
"How's that sound?" She asked to confirm, wearing her beautiful smile.
"Huh? I don't need your help." Katsuki coldly turned her down.
"Why are you so mean!? When people offer help, you should take it!" The pouting girl yelled angrily at him. Yuzuki crossed her arms and looked away.
"Eh? Did I upset her?... Crap..." Katsuki thought, debating whether to reach out and touch her shoulder. He had never touched a girl before, not counting his mother, of course.
"Just don't waste your effort on me… Yuzuki…"
"Huh? Did you just call me by my first name?" The dazzling girl snapped back, turning back at him with amazement in her sparkling eyes like the calm lake on the starry nights that reflected Katsuki's reflection. For a brief moment, he saw himself in them.
"Shit! Did I make it worse?" He cursed at himself softly.
"Oh, you never called me by my name before."
"Well, I don't actually know your… last name…" He admitted it with shame written all over his face.
"Hahahaha. You are the lamest!" Yuzuki burst out laughing. "Fine, I'm not telling you that! Just call my first name from now on, okay?" The girl put her index finger on her lips and winked mischievously.
"I mean I can give you notes and materials that you missed, so you can catch up with the rest of the class." Yuzuki clarified with her hand signs.
"Of course, I understand that. You think I didn't think of that!?" Katsuki ran his mouth faster than he intended, it made him look like he was flustered.
"Hohoho, someone wants to cover up his embarrassment." The girl teased with her mischievous gaze.
"I knew you were thinking about me giving you private tutoring?" She eventually said it.
"Of course NOT!" He objected loudly, obviously bashful.
"Hahahahahahaha, you are funny!" The girl laughed gleefully.
In the end, Katsuki no longer felt irritated by her endless and pointless questions because Yuzuki had become the closest thing to a "friend" he had ever known.
Late one night, the pale boy opened the front door and entered the house, he anxiously scanned the room before whispering, "I'm home."
His tense shoulders relaxed with the absence of his father.
"What is this?!" Suddenly, Katsuki spotted the lock of his door was broken, leaving his room open ajar. His heart raced up as he stumbled through the room.
Everything was trashed and scattered all over the floor.
"NO! NO! NO!" Katsuki screamed, the money he hid in the metal box after all these years of hard work, all the blood and tears, was gone.
The desperation crept through his body, numbing him.
The boy wailed loudly but instinctively muffled his escaping sound.
Katsuki learned at a young age that he would never cry aloud
Even if he's in agony.
Even if he's in the depths of sorrow.
Even if he gasped desperately for air to breathe.
Otherwise, the bad man would punish him even more, worse things would happen.
That night, the boy wept alone in his room while cleaning up after the mess that his father left behind. Something was snapping inside of him, it altered his mind forever.
His hatred burned brightly in his heart, it was time to stand up for himself.
"I'm home." The tall muscular man announced as he headed back. Katsuki was patiently waiting for his father on the sofa.
"Welcome back, Dad…" Katsuki bowed slightly. The father's devious smile appeared as he saw his son's pathetic face.
"GIVE~…"
"Huh?" The man asked but soon ignored the boy.
"GIVE IT BACK!" The boy yelled with anger, his furious eyes fixated on his father.
But before Katsuki could utter another word. The man had already closed up the distance and swung his fists at him. Lightning jap on the stomach and then left hook on his cheek sending the frailed boy rolling on the ground in pain. Marasai was without a doubt a rising star fighter back in his day.
"KUZU! YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT!" The man shouted as he yanked Katsuki by the hair to get a proper look at his face.
The boy crawled slowly on the floor, his hand trembling as it reached for his father's feet in terror and desperation. On that day, he truly understood the meaning of desolation.
"Please give it back. Please…" His mournful crying and begging put a smile on Masarai's face.
"Kuzu! What did I say about the noise!?" The father lectured in his deep voice, the boy abruptly sealed his mouth tight with his own hands.
"Man, I almost tripled that amount. Crazy, right? I was just borrowing it you know…" He paused dramatically, before continuing, "But those pachinko machines are fucking rigged. I lost them all afterwards. Hahahaha"
"What?..." The boy was dumbfounded at the realisation that his father gambled it all away: His hard-earned money was lost forever.
"But Kuzu, why did you need the money?" Masarai asked, crouching down beside him and yanking his hair once more.
Katsuki began to sob uncontrollably, tears streaming down his pale face like a flooding dam.
"It's not even your money to begin with right? I know you bullied and extorted it from other kids. So suck it up!" Masarai surmised and soon left.
The boy lay lifeless on the ground, the weight of his future crashing down on him. The sadness overwhelmed his mind, more than he could bear.
"Katsuki… Katsuki…Katsuki-kun!" A gentle voice called out to him. It snapped him back to reality. It was Yuzuri who had been calling his name after all.
"What's wrong, Katsuki-kun?" She asked out of concern, her brows knitted.
"Nothing…" The boy bottled his pain and sorrow, not looking at her. How could he?
"Please talk to me, we are friends, right?" The pretty girl with long black hair gently brushed her fingers over his hands, feeling the calluses and scars etched into his skin.
The warmth was somewhat soothing… It felt a surge of emotions rushing out of his poor soul. Katsuki forced his mouth shut tightly as the onset of tears collected under his dark eyes.
"Am~am I allowed to cry?" He pleaded with trembling in his voice.
In response, the girl nodded slowly in a quiet understanding.
The loud wail that no one would care about, resonated through the empty street at night. No one cared, no one but one friend comforted him on the darkest day of his life.
Life went on, and Katsuki stood tall, his feet firmly rooted to the ground. The stoic boy was determined to make his dream a reality. As long as he lived, he knew he could turn things around. With newfound resolve and the support of his only friend, Yuzuki, Katsuki spent his nights working part-time, doubling his efforts while still maintaining his studies.
Yuzuki was definitely the only one who cared about him. She was his light in the darkness and the only person he 'loved' wholeheartedly. However, he couldn't say it so he bottled it up and kept to himself.
As horrible fate drew upon Katsuki, the hell on earth tested his resolve once more.
Strangely enough, the physical abuse suddenly stopped. His tall father restrained himself from slapping the light out of the boy and only resorted to verbal abuse.
"KUZU!" The nickname, his father called him, meant 'Trash' and was a way to dehumanise the boy and strip him of his true identity, his dignity and his rights as a person.
After a while, Katsuki noticed that the bruises on his body began to recover leaving only faint scars.
"KUZU!" A loud shout from the other side of his door. It startled the boy to hurriedly open it.
"Y~yes…" The boy replied, looking at his feet.
"How are you doing?"
"Huh? I'm just, um, sleeping…"
"I heard from Amanai-sensei that you turned your life around, got good grades, and stopped hanging out with those worthless rascals, right?" The man spoke, excitement in his tone, his voice appeared more gently than his usual tone.
"Yes…" Katsuki remembered Amanai-sensei, she was a female teacher in her early 30s and also one of his dad's friends with benefits. She even got railed by his dad during her school visit to his place. "Disgusting righteous bitch!" The boy cursed in his mind.
"Hey, that's great. Get changed, man! We're heading out tonight." Masarai grabbed his shoulder firmly, his admiring expression appearing sincere.
"Wh~where to?" Katsuki fumbled his words incredulously.
"Of course! To have fun!" He beamed, showing his white perfect teeth. That was the first time that his dad had invited him to hang out.
The red-light district was crowded with bustling visitors, both young and old. Marasai and Katsuki strolled around a narrow street, filled with a faint smell of cigarettes.
"Dad? Where are we going?" The boy asked, anxiously rubbing his arms. He didn't reply and led him to the secluded lounge behind the backstreet. It appeared to be a secret bar that he frequented.
"Dad… I'm not supposed to be here." The nervous boy whined.
"Shut your damn mouth!" His dad hissed at him quietly before talking to a bartender at the counter, "Here, Drink it!" Masarai handed him a glass of whiskey on the rock.
"I~I can't… I'm~"
"Man the fuck up!" The father grabbed on his shoulder and squeezed hard. His fierce eyes commanded Katsuki to follow against his will.
The boy was hesitant but decided to down the drink in one go. He coughed infuriatingly as the burning liquid passed through his throat. Shortly after, his head began to spin as the alcohol entered his system. This was the first time he ever had alcohol.
"HAHAHAAHAHA! Good job, Kuzu!" The man laughed hysterically, patting his son's back in satisfaction.
"Hi, Kurakawa-san." The elegant lady in a black dress wrapped her arms around Masarai. She appeared to be a bewitching woman in her 30s, adorning in luxurious jewellery. "Wow, you bring a new play?" She whispered enticingly in his ear.
"Play?" Katsuki's eyes widened in shock. "Crap…" His heart was elevated as he looked at his father and the lady, something bad was about to happen to him he feared.
They were whispering and mockingly smirking at the boy. Katsuki could feel the lustful gaze from her.
"Hey, Kuzu, you need some water?" Masarai asked while handing him a glass of water. The boy hurriedly snatched it and drank it to mend the burning sensation in his throat.
The father and the female siren continued to chat and giggle, catching up like long-lost lovers. Meanwhile, Katsuki was sitting with both hands on his knees, his head spiralled in and out.
"Why does my 'below' become rock-hard?" The boy wondered as he sweated infuriatedly. His lower part was pumped and heated like a sitting on a fire.
Katsuki bared his teeth and endured the sudden urges… He glanced at his dad again and noticed a lady slide a large stack of cash into his hands and then disappear behind the curtain.
"What… what did you do? What did you put in my drink?" Katsuki asked with anger in his voice.
"Don't be mad, you ungrateful brat..." The man grabbed his shirt by the collar. "...I picked the pretty one for your first time. Fucking virgin! Now make me proud for once, Kuzu!"
At that moment, everything became clear, and Masarai lured Katsuki out to sell his body in the secluded underground bar. It was one of those secret bars that was secretly involved in repulsive human trafficking activities.
"I~ I can't do it, dad… Please… I never~" The boy begged as his hands grasped onto his dad. His head was spinning like crazy and his crotch ached for the play and pleasure against his will.
"Don't you fucking disappoint me, Kuzu. Or I'll fucking kill you!" His dad threatened and pushed him into the secret backroom before shutting the curtain.
Katsuki had lost count of how many times the siren sexually assaulted him. Her insatiable lust drained his completely. In the end, he was just lying there, motionless. As if he was a sex toy that she could play however she liked. Once she had done it, his father would join in and do the deed next to his lifeless body.
Katsuki couldn't believe the fact that his father stopped the physical abuse so that he could sell him in "a better condition" for a higher price.
There was truly nothing left. No dignity, no pride, no self-respect left in Katsuki's soul.
He was broken once again.
He shut himself from the outside world, he couldn't bring himself to go to school, or his part-time jobs.
Nothing truly mattered and he was stupid to even wish that he could escape this hell.
Except her. The boy's lingering hope sparked at the image of the long-haired girl as Yuzuki appeared in his mind.
"She must have been worried about me, right?" He pondered.
"I want to see her… I need to see her."
Katsuki was gazing on the night of the full moon. It was as serene as the day before he met the girl. He waited for two hours but there was no sign of her or any soul. Maybe she didn't come today, he thought and returned to his house.
"Kurosawa-san! Please stop!" Suddenly, the crying dispute was loud and unnerving from Katsuki's room.
It was her voice, he was certain of it!
The boy rushed to the door and opened his hands shaking after he scrambled for his keys. With a few tries, he managed to swing it open with full force.
"Please help me, Katsuki-kun…" It was a horrible sight, the girl was pinned down by his father, Masarai. Her uniform shirt was unbuttoned, exposing her white pristine skin and undergarment. The petrified expression on Yuzuki's face emblemed into the back of his skull.
Instantly, Katsuki shoved his half-naked father away with full force, knocking him back to the side of the bed.
"Ouch!" Marasai wailed in pain.
"WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" Misarai cursed at him with his thundering shout.
"Yuzuki! Get out of here!" he commanded, pulling her up. The two of them ran down the hallway as if their lives depended on it.
But Masarai caught his son by the throat and swung his left hook on his face. The impact swayed the boy to the side and slammed him against the wall, causing a loud bang.
"YOU THINK YOU COULD JUST MESS WITH MY BUSINESS?!" The man was in a state of pure rage, gripping the boy's shirt tightly.
Katsuki's fierce eyes filled with the same fire, the fire of pure hatred. The boy did the unthinkable, he headbutted right in the middle of Masarai's face.
"AAARRRRRRH!" The painful scream of the man with blood pouring out of his broken nose. It provided enough time for Katsuki to scram.
The young couple ran as far as they could and as fast as they could.
"Hah Hah Hah" They panted, catching their breath once they reached the safe spot.
"Hah~why…why are you at my house?" He questioned the girl.
"You were missing for a week and you haven't come to work either…"
"So what?"
"I'm just trying to give you school notes." Yuzuki clarified, her unbuttoned shirt revealing her soft, pristine skin, she didn't even have time to dress herself up.
"I'm~ I'm sorry that happened to you. It's all my fau~"
"Stop saying that, Katsuki. That man is the worst scum. It's all his fault!" She interrupted with conviction in her eyes.
"No… I shouldn't… I shouldn't…" His voice wavered as Katsuki couldn't breathe.
"Catch your breath first…." The girl held onto his chest to prevent him from collapsing.
"Yuzuki… It's my fault for talking to you… To bring you into my miserable world. You shouldn't have to experience the hell of mine…" The boy told her as he loathed himself.
"But… "
"This life… my miserable life is not for you," Katsuki said as he glanced at her tearful face.
"Stop blaming yourself… Katsuki-kun."
"Yuzuki… I'm done…"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"We're done… Let's stay away from each other."
"But… I… don't wan~"
"Listen to me, there's nothing good coming out of this! I'm only bringing you down. Can't you see? Can't you see!?" Katsuki explained loudly with both hands on her shoulders.
"Use your damn brain for once!" He eventually shouted at the top of his lungs.
Slap! The burning pain was followed by the numbness on his cheek. His eyes widened from the shock.
Although it was not a strong blow, it was the most painful thing that he had ever felt. It delivered quivers all over every fibre of his body.
"FINE! WE ARE DONE!" Yuzuri screamed at him with frustration in her voice. The girl ran out leaving the boy alone in the dark alleyway.
"It was for the best…"
"Oh! Kurasawa-kun. You were in a car accident. I was worried why you went missing." The chill store manager spoke after Katsuki lied about the reasons for his absence.
"I'm so sorry about that sir." The boy bowed apologetically. Despite his face being painted full of bruises, it somehow appeared to be a convincing lie.
"Boy, I'm sad to you go. You are such a diligent employee."
"Thank you for your kind words, I'm just here for a proper goodbye." He bowed with gratitude one last time.
"Thank you so much for having me for all these years."
"I'm going to end it… tonight."
The sidewalk on the side of a steel bridge came into view as the headlights of the passing cars flashed rhythmically. The breeze from the dark ocean gently brushed against his skin. And finally, the lonely full moon among millions of stars.
"Oh, it's a full moon tonight. It's so beautiful." He gazed and thought to himself.
"In another life, maybe I wouldn't have to be so miserable." The thought of ending his life excited him, it actually made him grin like an idiot.
Katsuki placed his shoes neatly on the floor and climbed the rails to the other side.
"I'm sorry, Yuzuki…" He apologised in his muffled voice to the girl he ever loved. The only one who could care if he lived or died. Katsuki stood quietly on the outer side of the guardrail, clinging to their cherished memories.
"..."
"I'm so sorry, Katsuki." And the last person he needed to apologise to the most as he eventually let go of the rail as his body began to free fall by gravity.
"..."
"STUPID!!!!" The unknown hands hugged him from behind, preventing him from falling into the abyssal water below.
"Woah? Stop grabbing me. Let me go!" He yelled, both shocked and confused.
"I'm not letting you go! Stupid!" Yuzuki helped him tightly but she couldn't help but lose her strength.
"Holy crap! We both are going to fall!" Katsuki exclaimed in panic as his hands reflexively grabbed a rail and climbed over to the safe, steady ground.
The two were panting heavily sitting on the floor, Katsuki couldn't stop shaking… he almost died.
"How~how did you find me?" He asked Yuzuki.
"I saw you miserable ass at the store. Was that for a goodbye?"
"Yeah…" He admitted without shame.
"Stupid!" She snapped at him.
"It'd be stupid if we both fell and died. Right?" He threw an odd joke at her, still excited by the adrenaline in his system.
"Pfffp! It would be." The girl held back her laugh with both hands, finding his joke amusing.
"Hahahaha!" Although his suicide attempt resulted in utter failure he couldn't help but chuckle like a madman.
"Hahahahahahaha!" The two burst out laughing loudly and collectively on the side of the bridge.
"Say… Why don't we kill him instead?" Yuzuki asked him out of the blue as they strolled back. Her fingers intertwined onto his, gripping tightly, she was determined to not let him go — Not again, not ever.
"Kill my father?" He asked, smiling at her odd sense of humour.
"Yeah. If he dies, you'll be happy, right?"
"I suppose you aren't wrong…" He replied, playing along with her.
"Let's kill him together!" The girl locked eyes with him, and her expression shifted.
"Hahaha, that's a good joke." Katsuki laughed it off but soon realised she was serious, very serious.
"..."
"How are we going it?" Katsuki asked sceptically.
"I dunno. I'll think of something. How about we meet up again?" She suggested, putting her index finger up.
"Okay…"
"But promise me first that you won't do suicide again!" She turned to confront him, she needed to ensure that.
"I promise, Yuzuki," Katsuki said without thinking. Unexpectedly, the girl embraced him tightly, her sweet fragrance filling his lungs. His heart blossomed, and for a brief moment, his suffering melted away.
This day, Katsuki eventually knew what happiness felt like, and he'd do anything to hold onto it.
"Thanks, god. I ran into you today." Yuzuri confessed, nesting close to him.
"Maybe it's fate. But thanks for saving me." Katsuki wrapped his arms around her small body and gently caressed her long dark hair. Her soothing presence eased his pain and suffering.
"I love you." She whispered in his ears, Katsuki wasn't sure how to respond.
As he pulled her back to confront her, "I guess… I love you, too." He replied before averting his shy eyes. It painted a sweet smile on Yuzuki's face.
From that day on, the two met regularly to discuss their plan, giving Katsuki a sense of purpose for the future. They carefully examined various strategies to eliminate the man without getting caught.
A sense of purpose and a plan to escape his purgatory.
In one of the luxurious apartments, several boxes and packages were scattered around the floor indicating that the recent tenant hadn't yet gotten a chance to unpack and tidy up the place.
The loud pleasure moan echoed through the large bedroom.
"More rough! Harder, please! Harder!" The lady of the house was screaming in pure libido as the tall and muscular man pounded her on the bed.
It was the third round of the days, and Masarai was likely not gonna finish unpacking her items today. But he couldn't care less about that because the missus had been giving him a lustful stare since the first time he met her.
As the man, he felt like it was his duty to satisfy the lady. Like his company's slogan, "Customer satisfaction is our priority!"
After a while, the charming man got up and gathered his scattered clothes off the floor.
"Kurosawa-san? Are you leaving already?" The naked lady asked him in her pleading voice with a mixture of disappointment.
"It's late. Isn't your husband coming back soon?"
"I don't think so. That man is going to do overtime and be late again," She explained. "Would you please stay with me a little while longer? Please handsome," The lady pleaded with her beautiful eyes.
"I can't do one more round. I'll be shooting blank," He excused himself, he must have lost his edge.
"... What if we are doing it bare-back?" She suggested as she bit her lips alluringly.
Her offer was something intriguing to him, as tempting as it was, "Nah, terrible idea. I don't wanna any kids." He kindly refused.
"Don't worry, my husband will raise it no matter what, he never knows. I promise." She winked.
"Hahaha, I love your determination." The man circled back and sat next to her. He began to french-kissed the lady passionately.
"You really know how to excite the man. Too bad your husband is a complete dork." And there the two began to indulge themselves in the guilty pleasure.
Masarai railed her with all his might with his physical prowess, he wanted to quench her bottomless thirst. Before he realised it, the figure of a man stood motionless in the doorway.
Katsuki was saying something inaudible to him with a gun in his hand and a phone in another, his trembling hands pointed the nozzle at Marasai's chest.
"DIE! BASTARD!"
The terrified girl let out a scream after the sound of two gunshots echoed through the room.
The man hurriedly rampaged out of the door, naked. It's the adrenaline that prevented him from stopping. His hot blood was pouring from the wound on his stomach.
"Fuck! The motherfucker shot me!" He tripped and fell in the hallway. Slowly crept his way toward the lift, leaving a crimson trail of blood. Masarai realised he would bleed out any minute as his vision began to blur. He saw the man in a trenchcoat approach him from the other side of the hallway after he exited the lift.
"P~Please sir, call an ambulance. Someone shot me." He begged for the man, crawling on the ground. The man stood tall, towering over him.
"KUZU!? THAT MOTHERFUCKER SHOT ME! YOU HAVE TO SAVE ME!" Masarai begged pathetically as he extended his hands to grab Katsuki's shoe. He stepped back a little out of his reach.
The fierce eyes fixated on the dying father, watching from his nose, but no words were said by Katsuki.
"KATSUKI! PLEASE! I'M DYING! CALL AMBULANCES!"
"PLEASE….PLEASE…"
"I'M SORRY, PLEASE SAVE ME…."
"PLEASE…"
The voice began to waver and the boy turned and left. The news announced that Masarai was shot by the jealous husband and later died due to the excess loss of blood in that apartment's hallway.
"Mission complete!" Yuzuki exclaimed with a smile at the man in a trenchcoat and a hat.
"Yeah…" He stood next to her grabbing a guardrail of the bridge's sidewalk.
"Relieved?"
"I dunno. Actually, I don't feel a thing." He replied.
"That's fine. I guess. I'm glad, you are free."
"Right? I'm truly free for the first time." Katsuki replied with a weak smile, feeling free yet hollow.
"The moon is pretty today."
"Is it?" Katsuki gazed up at the night sky, it was a cloudy night with poor visibility.
"There!" The pretty girl pointed at the moon that was about to be veiled by the passing cloud.
"Hmm?" The boy noticed Yuzuki's body begin to illuminate, her skin glowed like the evening moon.
"Yuzuki?!" he exclaimed in panic, reaching out to grab her, but his hand passed right through her, as if she weren't there—like she was nothing but air. She grew more and more translucent until he could see straight through her.
"What happened?!" Katsuki was shocked, looking at her without blinking an eye.
"You already know that in your heart, don't you?" She spoke and smiled at him sweetly.
"Please… Please don't leave me too!" The boy begged and pleaded with all his strength.
Katsuki launched himself into the air at the girl but fell short, crashing down to the floor.
"YUZUKI!!!" He cried out his lungs in desperation.
"Don't worry…" The ghastly girl sat down next to him and hugged him tightly. Although Katsuki could still see her, he could no longer feel her warmth.
"I'll be with you forever…" Her presence faded away completely leaving only Katsuki alone on the cold metal floor.
Katsuki clawed at his heart and let out a wailing scream as loud as he could. There was nothing holding him back anymore.
He no longer needed to muffle his voice or hide his flooding emotions.
He could do anything he wanted to do.
He could be anyone.
"I'm finally free."
***
"Katsuki, at first, I didn't really believe the story you told me," the enchanting lady with black, shoulder-length hair in a white gown said, sitting on Katsuki's lap in the doctor's office.
"Hahaha. Is it too much of a fiction?" He responded, placing his glasses on the table and wrapping his arms around her into a lovely embrace.
"Yeah, I thought you were just trying to guilt-trip me into talking to you, you know?"
"Well, I'm glad that it works."
"Yeah! But damn… It made so much sense, that's why you chose to become a psychiatrist, right?"
"Right."
"You think you'd get to see her again? I mean Yuzuki-chan."
"..." He paused to reminisce then he eventually replied, "I don't think so."
"I'm actually jealous of her!"
"Come on, she was a part of me too," Katsuki replied, rubbing his chin as he appeared lost in thought. Then, a smirk curled on his lips as he quoted, "Yuzuki was like the moon—she would leave once the sun arrived."
"How sweet of you! I'll cherish her memory, just like how I cherish you then!"
"Hahaha, thanks for that. You are my senior, you should act your age sometimes, you know."
"But studies have shown that 81% of males prefer a younger partner."
"Dr. Saori, you don't need to pretend to be someone else. For me, you already have a hundred per cent of my heart." He exaggerated with a smile.
"Right!"
"I love you, Dr. Kurosawa Katsuki." Dr. Saori expressed her genuine affection as she leaned in for an everlasting kiss.
-The End-