Do you think your life is a simulation? I do. And honestly, it makes more sense every day. Like, have you ever tried turning a faucet just a bit too far, and suddenly it's Niagara Falls in your sink?
Or ever had your mom ask you to find something, and you swear that 'it's not there'? Like, "Mom, I looked everywhere, it doesn't exist!" And then—BOOM—she walks in, reaches behind the thing you already checked three times, and pulls it out like she's equipped with wallhacks or something. You can't convince me that's not a glitch.
One day, you're slogging through a fetch quest (read: grocery shopping), the next, you accidentally hit the right combo of actions and unlock a feature you never knew was there—like small talk with a stranger turning into a solid job lead. Coincidence? I think not.
Speaking of speedruns, let me tell you about this one game I broke wide open: Bloodline. Not Bloodborne, note the difference.
The premise is as vanilla as it gets—generic medieval world, evil duke, revenge story. But hear me out; I found this particular ground-breaking exploit. Like, the absolute brain-breaking, timeline-destroying glitch that let me skip the entire midgame.
You know the part where you grind levels, collect macguffins, and generally waste your life going through the motions? Yeah, no thanks.
Turns out, if you stand at a specific spot during the Duke's soliloquy about "power and betrayal" and tap jump three times while facing a chandelier (don't ask me why the chandelier), you'd clip right through the floor and land in his vault.
The Duke's sword, Blood's Oath, spawns directly into your inventory because the game assumes you beat him. Did I fight the Duke? Nah. Did I still get to enjoy the cutscene where everyone praises my courage and leadership? Absolutely.
It's not just games like Bloodline, though—this happens in real life too, if you know where to look.
The faucet thing? Classic physics skip. Getting ahead of a long grocery line because you're just so fast with the self-checkout? That's queue manipulation. And let's not forget the one where you somehow go for days living on instant noodles and two hours of sleep but still ace your final exam—well, that's straight-up energy duplication strat.
The thing is, my reality-breaking prowess doesn't come with a guidebook, and now I've managed to— how do I put this— glitch into a whole new reality.
How, you ask? Well, hear me out—
***
"—Yure, where's the damn report?!"
"I've given it to you already!"
"Well, where?!"
"On your goddamn desk…!"
"It's not f*cking here!"
"Did you lose your eyes or something?! I literally put it right—oh, wait. It's right here."
It was sitting on my desk, right before my eyes— see, this is what I meant by we're living in a simulation. It was supposed to be on my supervisor's desk, not mine!
Lorraine glared at me, snatched the documents from my desk, and stormed off, grumbling about "getting someone competent."
I slumped back into my chair with a resigned sigh. 'What kind of simulation nonsense was this?'
"Yure, you're gonna get fired."
—that's Marcus. Always the worrier. "I'm serious, man. You can't keep talking like that to Lorraine."
I clicked my tongue and said, "First of all, let me tell you, 'no one' truly knows the aggro phase of Lorraine until they've felt it firsthand. The amount of paperwork that woman shoves under your nose—it's insanity."
"...well, I can't help you with that."
"She clearly had a grudge on me since I started working here. Even you know that!"
He avoided my stare— like the seasoned professional he was.
"I mean, I get it," I said, letting my chair spin back while standing up. "It's the end of the workday. Time to head home."
"Me too, I guess."
"Huh? Not doing overtime?"
"Nah, I'm sick of it."
I stopped short, blinking at him.
"Marcus, did your whole damn family die or something?"
His brow twitched. "I won't always stay for overtime just 'cause I always do before this."
"You keep digging yourself deeper with that overtime and your debt— now you're saying 'sick of it'? What the hell is wrong with you?! Don't go off the deep end, Marcus— this isn't a game you can just restart."
He knocked my hands off his shoulder with a mock annoyed grunt. "I'm not gonna do anything stupid."
"Alright, alright," I laughed, backing off a few steps. "Well, you can always vent to me for some problems."
He gave me a dry grin. "You're a good listener, I'll give you that."
"I am a good listener—but don't come expecting any solid advice," I grinned back.
"Having a friend to hear me out is already a boon," he said with a shrug.
"Just don't fall for me. I'm straight as an arrow."
He laughed. "I won't."
And just like that, we parted ways. Marcus made his way to his motorcycle, while I was left trudging down the street on foot like some kind of sad, abandoned NPC.
While on the streets, my mind still half-lost in the weird simulation theories I was juggling—but that's what happens when you live like you're a player in some underfunded indie game—half the stuff never makes sense, and the other half looks like it's been patched in on the fly.
The streetlights flickered on as the sun sank deeper into the horizon, throwing this dim amber glow across everything. It felt like a cutscene I hadn't even agreed to be part of.
And then, I found myself stopped in my tracks before realizing it, staring straight at the intersection in front of me. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. 'What the hell is that?'
There was something off ahead. A shimmer. A distortion. Like I was seeing a poorly-rendered game trying to load properly. I blinked and rubbed my eyes. 'Nope. Still there.'
A weird little ripple in the air, making everything look blurry and out of sync.
At first, I thought it was a heatwave or maybe some weird distortion from the weather, but the temperature didn't feel 'off'… I was starting to get a little twitchy about it.
Okay, no—I was nervous as hell. And why wouldn't I be?
The distortion flickered, shifting in and out. I took a few hesitant steps toward it, but I made sure no one was around to witness how unhinged I must've looked.
'Just a little peek couldn't hurt, right...?'
But when I was close enough, the air actually solidified into a deep purple-ish swirl of energy, and it was like I could feel a breeze tug at my clothes, pulling toward the center.
My instincts screamed for me to run. To get the hell out of there before whatever this was pulled me in.
But curiosity. Curiosity is a hell of a drug.
It was an unconscious pull. I reached it out with my hands— and then, everything went blank.