I was born in space. So many people looked up towards the stars wondering what beautiful things that strange dark abyss held. They dreamed of other worlds and creatures, aliens they said… Beautiful things that would bring us far into the future, so much further we would be like gods. Shaping reality to our whim, growing and creating with brilliant minds that would end all suffering and pain. But, power brings madness…
I was born in space, to be honest I don't remember much. My mother and father… Jasmine and Damien were astronauts, pioneers they said. They flew in ships across the galaxy, their mission became seeding the cosmos. Humans would be everywhere they said, Terra was at its limit after all. So many of our people are finally smart enough to sit down and make a solution. A world government, environmental and climate acts lasting peace. Of the twenty-thousand people on our starship heading out to the stars I ended up being the only one turning towards the past. Our history gripped me, what about the wars and kingdoms and the moon. Our moon… Our safe moon.
Most nights, much like tonight I lay awake. Tossing and turning looking out the window at the violet sky. We had long since evolved to be able to see it. Changed genetically, it was an improvement they said. What was a color worth back then, they said the sky was blue on Tera before all this.
"I'm sorry… I'm rambling, where was I?" The young man turned towards the corner of the room. A tall thin pale man in a trench coat peered up towards him. His eyes barely left the note pad he had been scribbling in. Taking notes on him, analyzing him…
"Where was I?"
"You were born in space…" The man's voice escaped like a whisper he was mumbling seemingly not paying any attention at all.
"My parents said I never stopped crying, the entire time we were in space. Not once. They had to sedate me a few times. They got a kick out of that…" Laying back on the plain bed and gazing out the window, the young man sighed as he grazed his fingers along the steel metal bars that divided him from freedom, these four plain blue walls draining his last bits of joy.
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we've had many sessions and you're running out of time. Please give me something your case can use. Why, why did you do it?" Finally, pulling away from his notes the slender man turned towards him raising his voice with a pointed accusatory tone.
Sighing the boy sat up, he took a deep breath and turned towards the pale man. "They wanted me to go back."
"Back to space!?" The man interrupted, having heard that line again and again. Now seeking a more concrete answer.
"No! Just, listen…" Frustration welled in the young man's voice, his face wrinkles to a frown as he stares at the man again.
"I was born in space. My parents named me after a celestial body." Sighing and turning again towards the window the young man closed his eyes.
"Quasar. That's your name, so why is this important? What does that matter to your case?" Eagerly the thin man waited, returning to his notes.
"When I was born, our colony ship was passing by a quasar. They said it was brilliant, beautiful and breathtaking. My mothe-, Jasmine. She wanted to name me after it, that beautiful thing." Quasar leaned back, slowly dragging his hands against the cold metal. He turned towards the detective again. He waited, knowing exactly what he would say next.
"And so? They wanted to take you back. To see the quasar. Why would you kill them then?" Still the detective looked, puzzled by the man's story.
"I can't go back there. I know it sounds crazy. I-It looks crazy! But they should have known!" Quasar sat up, as if bursting into hysterics. He reached outward pulling the chains on his arms taught against the bed frame. He heaved, breathing as if he lost his breath.
"Calm down…. What should they have known? We're at the end of the line again. Breathe… Please, I want to help you." Sliding his notes into his coat pocket the detective approached, he reached out grabbing the young man's hand.
"I'm here…"
"I-I can't go back, t-they told m-m-m-me…" Quasar laid back, stuttering every word fighting his tongue.
"It's ok, I'm listening." Steadying himself the detective clasped both hands around the young man's trembling hand kneeling in closer. He felt the fear in him, the same feeling he had seen in victims of serious crimes.
"W-When I was a baby. They showed me that thing. I saw it there… In the light." Quasar turned to the man, locking eyes with him, he trembled and his mouth grew dry.
"What did you see?"
"I cried, ever since then… I couldn't take it."
"What did you see?"
"I see it every night… In my dreams, when I close my eyes I can never forget!" Quasar began to babble on his body, quivering.
"What did you see, Quasar!" The detective raised his voice, shouting and squeezing the young man's hand. His face held months of fury as he looked down at the boy, he was no man surely not. He was full of delusion, the detective thought. This was a child who made up stories, and killed.
"GOD! God… I saw god. I saw it inside that thing, in the blinding light. God was there and it looked at me. It screamed at me, it shouted and screeched I knew. I knew." Quasar's voice trembled, tears poured down his face he pulled away from the detective. Turning towards the window staring out again as he curled into a ball.
The detective stood. Looking down at the trembling boy. Without a word he stepped away and exited the room. Into the larger psych ward halls he turned and looked at his partner.
"His story hasn't changed you know." The thin man looked towards a taller more robust man frowning. He felt his frustration dissipate as he steadied himself.
"It almost breaks my heart... Pathetic."