The flames lit up the night sky; yet in contrast the stars were being drowned out by the smoke. Screams ripped through the air, shadows dancing on the buildings, yells and maniacal laughter ringing loud.
He found himself cowering as masked men flooded the streets, emerging as though from the shadows. Or as though they were shadows. They pointed in random directions, and things burst into flames or exploded. More screams. More running. He trembled, unable to get his feet under him, even as a part of himself was yelling to save the people to save… there was someone important he should be protecting.
At a glance around, he realized… it was his mom. Where had she gone? Where was Uncle Gaius? Will? Freya? No. No, Freya had moved, hadn't she? Arthur!
But why weren't his feet moving? He had to do something!
A man appeared in front of him, though the shadows hid his face, and what little he could see he realized was covered in some sort of mask. His clothes were black and draped down to the floor like some sort of ragged robe.
"Really?" The man spoke, full of condescension and interest. "All that magic, and you didn't do a thing? What use are you? Someone should take your magic. Someone who wouldn't be so useless." And the worst part, is that he knew the man was right. All this, and he couldn't even help anyone.
The man straightened, pulling out of the shadow's, yet somehow his face still stayed hidden. He reached a hand out, a stick pointing at his face.
He couldn't move. He couldn't run. Suddenly he was strapped down on his back, and a sharp pain in his head had him gasping, trembling, screaming—
"Merlin?" The new voice jerked Merlin out of the nightmare. He startled, pushing himself away from the hands that held him, nearly falling out of the— the bed?? before the hands were back on him, pulling him back, pulling him close. He squirmed, pushed, tried to thrash, cried out; all the while breathing harsh gasps.
"Merlin. Merlin, it's me. It's just me, I promise, you're safe. It's Arthur and Gaius."
The soothing words finally broke through the haze in Merlin's brain. Merlin immediately stilled at Arthur's words, looking up at them with blurry eyes.
"A-arthur?" Merlin's body trembled, a deep ache all over making him reluctant to move. But he tensed all over again. He was used to nightmares and feeling guilty by not being able to save his mother all the time; but the guy in the dream had been new, and had been awfully familiar, despite not seeing his face.
The man that had kidnapped and tortured him. The words in the nightmare were nearly the same as what he'd said while he'd probed into Merlin's mind over and over, viewing each memory he could until Merlin found the wherewithal to push him out. Over and over. Each time had been harder and harder to resist; but at least the man had seemed to tire of doing so many probes in a row as well, and after Merlin would be left alone for awhile.
But he'd seen so many of Merlin's dark memories. All of the times he accidentally used magic. Merlin couldn't be sure exactly what the man was searching for that would help him to know what Merlin was, but Merlin couldn't help but feel strangely vulnerable after the recurring mind-invading magic was used on him.
Arthur rubbed his back. "It's okay. We're here, and you're safe, and that guy will never hurt you again," Arthur soothed him.
"How'd I… how am I here?" Merlin asked, trembling still, but relieved, so very very relieved, to be out. To be back with Arthur and…
He looked over, seeing Gaius sitting at the edge of the chair beside Arthur's bed. He looked at Merlin with such a warmth in his eyes, that Merlin's eyes immediately teared up and he reached for a hug.
Uncle Gaius accepted without hesitation, as was usual. A tight enough hug that Merlin already felt something inside him settle, with his uncle holding him and Arthur at his back, a hand still on him. He felt safe.
A part of Merlin wanted to just hide away in Arthur's bed all night, day, whatever, but that wasn't his style. So after he finally calmed down, he convinced them to let him up. He needed to shower, and Gaius had apparently brought over a bag of clothes for him. They nervously agreed to letting him shower on his own, since he was able to walk to the bathroom by himself, but made him keep the door unlocked so Gaius could get in if needed.
It felt weird without Arthur at his side. He vaguely remembered last night now; remembered clinging to Arthur. He knew it was a combination of Arthur being his friend, having been rescued, and his magic in the both of them finally being reconnected. He also recognized the healing his magic had done and was still doing on himself. His arm was sore where he'd been cut up, and he still had quite a lot of bruises. He already felt a lot better, but he really was drained. He stood still in the water for a long moment, staring down at grime being washed away, then trembled and wrapped his arms around himself.
The angry glint in his eyes was the first warning Merlin had that he was being pushed past his patience, but Merlin couldn't do as he asked. Merlin had never had success in purposefully doing magic, it happened when it happened. His healing was instinctive, and his magic would occasionally act up if startled or in danger, but obviously not well enough since he was here.
The spell the man cast at him this time was startling to the extreme, the yelled 'crucio' making Merlin jump, before pain — absolute agony — tore through him. He couldn't breathe, couldn't… couldn't—
"Merlin?" The knock on the door got him moving. "You okay so far?"
Relieved to be torn from the flashback, he laid a hand on the wall and gasped in a breath, his body trembling. It felt like his mind was also trembling, though he didn't think that was entirely possible. Was it?
"I'm okay." Merlin managed. He pressed a palm to his eyes a moment before shaking it away.
It's fine. I'm okay. I'm going to be okay.
He didn't fully believe it, but he wanted to. And honestly, he'd been a little less than okay ever since his mom died. He could fake it until he made it, right?
He drew a deep, determined breath. He had to. And now he knew of this whole other world, one with people who had magic, and he had to figure out what exactly it had to do with himself, and why he'd never found anyone with magic before. Other than Morgana — and maybe some people he vaguely remembered rescuing him last night — all the people he'd seen use magic had been evil. But it couldn't be true, right? Morgana went to a magic school, which obviously meant that there'd be quite a few good wizards in the world, right? He hadn't talked to Morgana about specifics of her school since he hadn't wanted her to know about his magic, so he really knew nothing about it other than the little that Arthur knew.
It wasn't until Merlin finished in the shower and got dressed, about to open the door, that another fear washed over him. Now, it was clear so many more people knew about him and his magic. Arthur couldn't have gotten help from so many wizards without telling them about him, right?
What if they tried to force him into the school? Made him leave Arthur and Gaius? They couldn't do that, right? He'd be institutionalized and they wouldn't let him go, and it would be no better than the man that had taken him. Maybe they would see Merlin and say the same things, about how Merlin's magic and his entire being was so different than a normal wizards.' Would they experiment on him too? Lock him in a room?
The panic furled in his chest, and not even ten seconds later, there was a knock on the door. "Merlin?" Arthur's voice rose in a panic. "Merlin, I'm coming in, okay?"
Merlin grabbed at the door sloppily, grabbing the handle and twisting as Arthur carefully pushed his way in.
"Hey, hey, what's going on?" Arthur asked at seeing his face. He put one hand on Merlin's chest. "You've got to calm down, Merlin, you need to breathe."
Merlin grabbed hold of Arthur's arms, squeezing his wrist at his chest. "Don't make me go, please. Please?"
"Make you go where?" Arthur asked, eyebrows drawing closer, even at his other hand wrapped to the back of Merlin's neck.
"They'll take me away. They'll think I'm different, and take me away, just like the man did. I can't go to school, they'll take me away from you and away from Gaius, and they won't let me go, and I-I can't — I can't…" He was hyperventilating, his breaths coming frantic, and Arthur moved his hand to his cheek and made him meet his eyes.
"Merlin, I will not let them take you away from me. Gaius and I? And even Morgana? We would never do that. And the others know a bit about you, but only a bit. And they're good guys. Morgana swears they're the best people out there. She wouldn't lie to me. She won't let anyone hurt you either. We'd take you far away where no one could find us before we let them take away your choices. Okay? Now take some deep breaths, before you pass out, Merlin."
As was strangely usual, Arthur saying his name like that instantly got Merlin's gaze to focus more fully on him, as though having the joking tone told him that he was once again safe. Merlin managed to take some trembling breaths, meeting Arthur's gaze, then slowly nodded.
"You promise?" He asked warily, needing to hear the words even though he logically knew Arthur couldn't fully promise him anything like that.
"Of course, I promise, idiot." Arthur smirked at him, yet his eyes were sincere.
Merlin rolled his eyes, still working on his breath. "Prat." He exhaled shakily. "Thanks."
He was able to relax his grip on Arthur, surprised at how hard he'd been squeezing and how Arthur hadn't muttered a complaint or given a wince. He didn't apologize because he knew what Arthur's response would be, and Merlin would have done the same for Arthur.
"You good now?" Arthur asked him.
"Yeah." Merlin rubbed his face. "Yeah, I'm okay."
"We're here with you." Arthur put a hand briefly on his shoulder with a small squeeze. Then he moved away, to the side slightly, but walking toward his bedroom door. "Come on, Merlin, let's get some food in you."
He wasn't particularly hungry, or at least he didn't have an appetite even though he knew he should be hungry. But, he also knew that he needed to eat, so he followed Arthur dutifully, moving slightly slower and glad to see Gaius out in the kitchen preparing some breakfast — or, timing wise, it may be considered lunch. Gaius smiled at him, a little tight and worried, but warm.
"Eggs? Bacon? Toast?"
"Uh… Toast." Merlin mumbled as he entered, seeing Morgana sitting at the table already. She smiled at him, stood, and held her arms out for a hug that Merlin accepted, trying not to appear hesitant.
She knows.
"You okay?" She asked as she pulled away.
He nodded and avoided her eyes as he moved to sit down.
There was a long moment of silence, when Arthur finally cleared his throat and started telling Merlin about everything he'd done since Merlin had been taken, much to Merlin's relief. He'd wanted to know, and hearing about it from this side helped him to at least keep his mind off of his own side. As he listened, his gratitude for Arthur grew, as well as knowing that Arthur had found him through the link of their magic. Merlin still didn't understand how it worked, and from what it sounded like, nobody else did either. He risked a glance at Morgana as he spoke and confirmed that as he noticed the spark of interest in her at the topic. No cruelty though, and she didn't interrupt to ask any questions.
Gaius, at the beginning of the explanation, had looked like he had wanted to put a hold on it, but he must have noticed something in Merlin to keep him from stopping them. He just put plates down in front of them all and joined them while they ate and talked.
Merlin stared wide-eyed at Arthur when he explained apparating to where Merlin had been held, then how he had tackled the man. The look in his eyes was pleased as punch, but Merlin shook his head. "You tackled a guy that had magic? Arthur! What if he'd killed you?"
Arthur shrugged. "He was hurting you, Merlin. Had been for days at that point. I wouldn't let him do it for another minute." His voice was hard, eyes distant, and Merlin found his hands tightening. Only a second later, Gaius reached a hand onto both of theirs.
"You're both okay, thank goodness." He squeezed both their hands before he pulled away, and Gaius then turned to Merlin.
"I want to hear about what happened with you," Gaius said gently, and only that kind look on his face helped Merlin stay out of the complete panic at the thought. "But I know that Harry, he's one of the aurors, essentially a police man of the wizard world, will want to hear it as well, and I figure you won't want to say it twice. They'll need to know, though so they can deal with the man that took you and anyone else that might have been involved."
Merlin looked down at the table, taking a deep breath but forcing a nod. He knew that, of course, but the idea of talking to anyone else with magic was terrifying.
"Well, then." Morgana spoke up, for almost the first time, besides a few muttered words through the story. "Until then, I'd like to know more about what's going on here, Arthur."
Arthur froze like a deer in the headlights. "Here? I just told you, and you were here for most of it, Morgana."
Morgana glared at him. "I mean with father and you. He hasn't even been home since I've been here!"
Merlin noticed the tension in his friend, and knew exactly what it was about. Arthur hadn't told Morgana, but he had told Merlin, obviously because Merlin wasn't directly impacted by this and was around a lot more to know how Uther was.
"I guess he's been busy." Arthur ate another bit of his egg, trying to act nonchalant.
"Arthur." Morgana leaned forward, pushing her plate to the side. "He hasn't even come home at night. What in the world is going on? Why has dad basically left you to your own devices—" She stopped suddenly, glaring at him. "How long has he been leaving you alone here? And who is he staying the night with?"
Arthur sighed and ran a hand down his face and pushed his own food away. Merlin caught Gaius' eyes, surprised that he didn't look very uncomfortable, just slightly worried about Arthur, and intrigued about the conversation.
Merlin mostly felt uncomfortable because he knew how hard Arthur tried to hide all of this from his sister, not because of the conversation itself.
"Morgana." Arthur's tone begged her to drop it, but also obviously resigned, as though knowing she never would.
"No, Arthur, you've been giving me half truths for years. Each letter I get from you, you never mention dad, you never mention friends, until Merlin. You've been as vague as you possibly can about everything in your life while still having something to write about. You never answer when I ask how you're doing, you evade the question masterfully. I'm worried about you, Arthur. You're my brother. I need to know what's going on. I've literally told you everything I possibly can about me and school. You even knew about my pathetic crush on Leon years ago, and that embarrassing tidbit about it."
Arthur smirked. "To be fair, your crush isn't actually over with him, is it?"
Morgana blushed, but glared at him. "See, you evade. Arthur, please tell me what's going on? Where is dad?"
Arthur shrugged, but sunk lower in his chair and stared at the table. "Honestly, Morgana, I don't know. I think he's been with a different woman every week or so," he finally muttered. "He doesn't usually come home at night… or really ever, other than to get some clothes or something."
Morgana shook her head. "He's been sleeping around that much? How long has he been like this? How long have you been practically alone here?"
Arthur's fingers tapped the table, and when he hesitated, Morgana put a hand on his arm. "Don't lie to me, Arthur."
Arthur took a deep breath, then met Morgana's gaze. "Pretty much since you left for school."
Morgana's eyes widened in shock. "Arthur! You were, like, eight!"
"I know."
"He's left you completely on your own?"
"Look, Morgana." Arthur, well, he didn't necessarily snap, but his tone did turn firm. "I'm fine, okay? Uther—Father works a lot. I just did my homework and I preferred it when he wasn't home anyway. He had a lot of expectations from me, and all he'd ever talk about was how I had to get good grades, and which classes to take, and that I'd—" He cut himself off, realizing he'd said more than he'd intended. "I'm fine," he repeated.
Morgana's eyes had widened, a hint of sadness in them, but Merlin heard something loud from the other room, and all of a sudden random footsteps shot Merlin out of his seat, his back quickly finding the wall away from the family room as his body began to shake. The others reacted quickly, Arthur and Gaius both moving to comfort Merlin, while Morgana took off into the family room.
"Merlin, it's okay, it's probably just Harry or Headmistress McGonagall. They're just here to talk. Remember, none of us will let anyone hurt you or take you away," Arthur soothed, hand on his arm. The footsteps stopped in the other room, instead voices filling the air, and at the friendly tone they took Merlin was slowly able to calm his breathing, though his heart still beat frantically at the idea of meeting anyone new or having to explain all that had happened to him.
A man with black hair and glasses walked in, followed by a tall older lady who looked strict, yet… she also gave him a genuine little smile, a look of careful concern and warmth. It reminded him a bit of Gaius, if he was honest, and that thought immediately soothed his breathing further, though his hands still trembled violently.
Harry, he presumed, looked at him, stopping in the entrance with a little smile. "Merlin. It's so good to see you up and okay." He sighed with an obvious relief. "You're looking a lot better already."
Merlin tried to force words out, something, anything, but nothing came out. He just stared at them and bit his lip.
"We just wanted to come chat for a little bit, and to make sure you're okay." It was the lady this time. "How about we sit down?"
Merlin kept an eye on both of them, grabbing Arthur's sleeve and practically hauling him mostly in front of him as he made his way to the furthest chair at the table from them two wizards, Arthur just letting him do so with a slight smirk on his face. The other two caught on and luckily stayed on the other side of the room. Though Merlin figured it wouldn't do much if they could use magic on him, it still made him feel better. And having Arthur and Gaius sit beside him, then Morgana settling more on their side than the other wizards side, helped amplify the feeling of safety and gratitude. He was just grateful that Morgana seemed to choose keeping Merlin safe over sitting with her wizard peers, and her near haughty and very protective look told Merlin no one would get past her.
"Do you feel better? We were told that you were healing a lot of the injuries by yourself, but that you managed to get some potions down that could help. Are you still in pain?"
Merlin's hands were trembling on the table. He stared at them, then noticed Arthur move to casually put his hands on the table as well, in Merlin's obvious reach. It wasn't until Merlin grabbed hold of the other teenager's arm that he was finally able to speak.
"A little. Mostly… mostly just tired, though." Merlin gave them a quick look, but couldn't quite meet their eyes, even though he was very aware of every move they made.
It was the truth, he was overly drained, the emotions, resonant fear, pain, and how his brain was having such a difficult time at focusing on anything other than his captivity. The pain in him was minute comparatively, but he definitely felt sore all over.
"Do you think you can explain to us what happened?" Harry's voice stayed soothing, but Merlin felt his hand tighten on Arthur as he fought hard not to cry or run away or something.
Arthur nudged him with his knee under the table; an encouragement and a silent support.
"You don't have to explain it all, not now at least, but we just need to know how many people we should be dealing with, and the basics of what has happened," McGonagall quickly told him.
Merlin took a breath, then slowly nodded.