"Wake up, Jaeyoon! You're going to be late for the photoshoot!"
My mother's voice was like a hammer pounding against my exhausted mind. I forced my eyes open, every part of my body weighed down with fatigue.
"Okay, Mom, just five more minutes…"
My words were cut short by her angry yelling.
"Jaeyoon, stop being irresponsible and get up right now!"
I jumped out of bed in fear and rushed to the bathroom. The cold water jolted me awake more than I wanted, and soon enough, I was throwing on whatever clothes I could find in my haste.
As soon as I stepped out, one of the staff handed me a cup of Americano. I grabbed it quickly, offering a faint smile. I don't know why, but drinking Americano always makes me feel energetic and happy.
In the car, my mom didn't stop showering me with instructions.
"Make sure you stick to the concept, and most importantly, don't smile."
That phrase felt like a cold slap. My parents always told me not to smile, as if my smile was a sin to be hidden. Maybe it really is that ugly.
When we arrived at the studio, the staff immediately led me to the dressing room. I changed quickly and was whisked away to a chair in front of a large mirror. The makeup artist began her work, and I felt a small sense of gratitude when she covered the dark circles under my eyes—evidence of countless sleepless nights.
"All done!"
I glanced at myself in the mirror. The makeup was light, just some concealer and soft shadows, but it was enough.
"Hurry up, let's go!"
The staff guided me to the set, where a bed stood in the center surrounded by blinding lights.
"Hello, Jaeyoon, we're so glad to have you here!"
I bowed slightly with a small smile, trying to ignore the growing anxiety within me.
"Lie down on the bed."
I followed the instructions silently. The photographer started snapping photos as I obediently moved according to his direction.
"Unbutton his top shirt buttons," he instructed.
One of the staff members approached and began undoing the top buttons of my shirt. I stayed quiet, though my heart was pounding.
"All right, prop yourself up on your elbow and smile faintly."
I did as I was told, only for him to add:
"Not a sweet smile. I want something seductive—a faint smirk with a playful look."
I tried my best to mimic his expectations, and in return, I received some hollow praise.
"Okay, go change. We've got just a few shots left."
Finally! I rushed back to the dressing room. The new outfit was uncomfortably tight, with a short open jacket and shorts barely reaching mid-thigh. I felt uneasy, but I didn't have a choice.
When I returned, they asked me to lie down on a small couch.
"Lie on the couch, let your hands hang off the edge, and give the camera a drunk look, like you just finished drinking alcohol."
Drunk? I've never even had alcohol before. How am I supposed to fake something I've never experienced?
"How?" I asked hesitantly.
He sighed in frustration.
"Just try to look sexy."
I did as he instructed. With each click of the camera, I felt more and more disconnected from myself.
"Bring the collar."
A collar? I watched as one of the staff approached, holding a small black collar with a heart-shaped tag in the center that had my name engraved on it.
"Let me put it on you."
I allowed him to, but every fiber of my being screamed in protest. I felt humiliated.
I told myself it was just a photoshoot. It would all be over soon.
"Thank you for your hard work, Jaeyoon! You can keep the collar."
Keep it? Do they think I'm a dog?
I rushed to the dressing room, tore off the collar, and tossed it aside. I changed out of the outfit and left as quickly as I could.
In the car, my mom asked,
"How did the session go?"
"Good."
I answered curtly. I didn't have the energy to say anything more.
"You've been invited to model at Keltin's fashion show in three days. They said it would be an honor to have you as one of the models."
Keltin!
"The one Lee Yohan is an ambassador for?"
She glanced at me sideways and nodded.
"Yes, don't worry, you're better than him."
"That's not what I meant. But… Mom, can I be friends with him? He seems like a good person."
She looked at me calmly and said,
"No problem… He might be useful to us."
I didn't understand what she meant, but at least I might have a friend. Maybe.