Efforts never betray you, they say.
A quote widely respected and repeatedly preached across the globe.
Some regard this quote as a personal mantra to follow throughout their whole life, while others simply scoff at it as if it were a mere joke.
I mean… why put in the effort when you have a rich dad who provides you with all you need.
Big House?
'Hello Dad! Can you buy me a house.'
New Sports car?
'Daddy… There's this new car I really love and I was wondering if…'
Of course, they are also those who live in luxury simply because they are lucky. Like the ones who win a lottery.
I mean, how much effort could it possibly take for someone to win a lottery.
'Congratulations! You have won 500 million!'
So, tell me.
How does 'efforts never betray you' apply here?'
Of course, setting all those examples aside. There are many cases in which the saying proved to be correct.
For example. There was this movie I once watched.
What was it called?
Hah! I remember .. 'The road to success.'
It was a perfect example of the quote:
'Efforts never betray you.'
It's a touching, heart-warming story about a homeless brother living in the slums with his younger brother, who, because of his pure love and dedication for his younger brother, managed to succeed and became a millionaire.
Very touching story indeed.
But…
What about me?
What have I got to say about 'efforts never betray.'
Well, I only have one word- perhaps two… three words.
…It's utter bullshit.
'The utmost crap-
Perhaps I have more words than I could even get out of me.
'Period!'
'Efforts never betray?'
How laughable.
I could spit at such a ridiculous notion over and over again and still not get it done with. Sure, if you were to put in some effort, you would definitely achieve better results than the regular "crap" out there, but, is that really all there's to it?
Is hard work truly the key to success?
No. It simply isn't.
It never was and never will.
The key ingredient to success is talent.
No matter how much effort you put into something, how much tears to the psychological toll it has on you, you will never be able to surpass the insurmountable gulf known as:
Talent.
Look at football for example.
Many people train just as hard- or perhaps even harder- than the two goats, but in the end, they don't even come close to their level.
No amount of blood, of tears lost and sweat shed can change that.
That's the irrefutable fact.
The word of law that the world revolves around.
Getting back on topic.
Some might ask.
Why do I have such a grudge against the quote: Efforts never betray.'
Simple. It's because I was once one of those idiots who wholeheartedly believed in those words.
...….
In the current age and era of being a web novelist. One might write what they loved, and as long as it made money, it'll do right?
At least. That was what they thought at first. But as they progressed.
They would find themselves slowly losing interest.
From the second where,
Their interest starts to dwindle.
To the moment when,
It starts to plummet.
And it wasn't because they hated writing or anything of such. Rather, in the process of catering to their readers needs, they slowly started to stray away from what they truly liked writing.
Started writing things they didn't like.
For example:
People love overpowered protagonists, broken abilities and worse, they love fan service, but it was really uncomfortable from a writer's point of view.
'... Especially when said writer is a virgin.'
And it was stuffs like this that made my passion for writing decrease.
....
.
.
.
But fortunately, I had the internet to help me.
And I can gladly say: I am one of the few set of authors who stayed true to their goals.
I mean…-,
Who would want to write about some certain someone putting a "cucumber" in their mouth?
Certainly not me.
I was of the belief that what truly makes a great novel isn't the overpowered protagonist nor the broken abilities of the main character but rather, it was the plot development, the plot twist, to the world's lore and mystery and finally, a great dive into the character's psyche.
And here I am today, blankly staring at my laptop.
Wondering if that's really the right path to thread on.
Click! Click!! Click!! Click!!
The monotonous sound of a keyboard being strummed echoed through my room.
The same boring pattern repeated itself just like any other day.
Wake up.
Type.
Eat.
Type.
Repeat.
There was no end to it.
And finishing my last sentence, I pressed the save button at the top right corner of my screen and clicked "publish."
Sigh!
Letting out a long sigh.
I dazely looked at the ceiling.
'How long will I have to continue doing this?'
Shaking my head.
I shifted my gaze to the laptop.
And as expected.
It was still as blank as ever.
"...He's still the only one."
I muttered under my breath.
Tapping on my reader's profile- he was my only reader anyway.
At least he was patient enough and seemed to rather enjoy psychological horror- those of my novel's earlier chapters.
'...I was of the belief that a truly great novel focuses on laying down a solid foundation.
Popular web novels such as: LOTM and SS prove such facts.
But as I stared at my screen.
I started to doubt if that was really the case.
'...What am I doing wrong?'
Restless.
I went back to my first chapter, read it critically like an editor would
And,
It was rather okay.
Not too good…and not too bad
'Just okay.'
But… It was the first chapter anyway, I shouldn't be too bothered right?
'Or did I make a mistake somewhere or what-?'
The questions continued.
And I moved to the second chapter.
'What's wrong?'
I still couldn't find it.
And then,
I moved to the third.
'What exactly did I do wrong!'
The fourth.
The fifth.
The sixth.
I kept scrolling.
I couldn't accept it.
They had to be something!
Anything!
For me to only have one reader, they had to be a reason.
'...They had to.'
I was beginning to lose myself.
…For me to not get what I felt I deserved even after all the countless sleepless nights.
I felt like I was going crazy.
…I couldn't believe, not even for once, that there wasn't a reason.
Scroll.
I kept scrolling and scrolling.
Seconds clocked by and minutes turned into hours, hours into what felt like an endless lifetime.
Yet,
Scroll!
I still couldn't find anything.
I found nothing.
I could feel it now.
The familiar emotion.
Despair.
It was slowly crawling its way towards me.
Slowly eating me from the inside.
Scrolling!
I started reading through rapidly rising web novels.
And then,
"Ha-haha-haha!"
It slowly dawned on me.
With my right hand covering my face, I laughed like a mad man.
Was I any different from one in the first place?
But amidst the broken laugh that escaped my lips.
Realization dawned on me.
'…I knew it!'
I have no idea on how to describe how I felt like right now.
To know that it wasn't because of my wrongdoings.
But, because of something else entirely.
That sense of joy.
I really don't know how to explain it in words.
Broken abilities.
Overpowered protagonists.
The all-mighty system.
Every single one of them focused on either of this. And ironically, mine didn't.
"Hahahaha… I knew it!...'
...Perhaps I was a little bit strong-headed and adamant as my colleagues would say, but, I also put in twice as much effort.
And finding out about the reason- the reason behind my repeated failures- One I already knew about, but struggled to come to terms with.
I mean-,
'...I didn't want to.'
I believed a truly peak novel would still receive the attention it deserves. But,
"Hah!"
Staring at my blank readership base.
I couldn't help but think otherwise.
But, why?!
Why do people read such books?
I knew anger was slowly taking over me and I tried to calm down.
"Huff- Hah."
But it was proving far harder than normal to do so.
Lately, I've been having anger issues.
The simplest things could get me mad, which goes to show how bad my temper has become.
But,
"Hah… ah."
It couldn't be helped.
With how shitty my life was, I was bound to develop a twisted personality.
But still…-,
I still can't help but be confused.
Why do people enjoy this kind of books in contrast to the love they held for books that delve deeply into the world's lore and worldbuilding, to mind blowing plot development and insane but logical plot twists.
'...I mean. Isn't that what writing is all about in the first place.'
I-
"Ukh- Agh!"
Just when I was about to continue ranting- as some would say, a sudden pain struck my chest.
More precisely, my heart.
Clenching my chest tightly, I knelt on the floor.
Clawing at the floor with every ounce of strength I could muster.
I crawled my way towards my desk.
'...I- I need my medicine.'
Because of my poor mental state.
I took a lot of medicines.
There was one for my blood pressure, another for asthma and the last one for… depression.
For a kid of my age: 16. That was nothing short of astounding, right?
'...And right now, I was looking for my blood pressure medicine.'
Because of my sudden outburst, my blood pressure must have increased, resulting in this reaction.
Thump… Thump..
'So long as I could get my…'
"Aagh!"
Falling to my knees once again.
My vision blurred and blood dripped down my nose.
Drip!
Drip!
"Ukh- Ugh."
Before long, it was starting to become increasingly difficult to breathe.
"Ugh-Akh-."
It felt as though invisible hands were tightly clenched around my neck.
Staring at the blank screen of my laptop.
Tears slowly streamed down the corner of my eyes.
Drip!
Drip!
Why…. Why?
The question continued to echo within my mind.
Within my psyche.
And even after so long.
Even as my life neared its end.
I couldn't understand.
Why…
I just couldn't.
The question refused to fade as tears welled within my eyes.
With a blank look at my laptop's screen- perhaps hoping for some last stand miracle.-
Nothing happened.
Thump... Thump...
Nothing came.
And before long-,
The endless darkness swallowed me whole and all I could remember was me asking the same question over and over again.