When Olivia suggested that each of us choose a song to decide which one we'd play, my first thought was something simple and predictable: "Let Her Go" by Passenger. It was an easy song to play on the guitar, with a universal message that anyone could understand. Plus, I didn't want to complicate things too much. This was just a joke, right? A little madness driven by Olivia to fulfill her "prize." There was no need to put my heart into it.
But as I sat in the small basement room, adjusting the strings of the guitar, something changed. Olivia had just finished her performance of "Don't Stop Me Now," full of energy and confidence, and Lindsay was about to sing something that, though I still didn't know what it would be, I already felt would be special. And then, as my fingers rested on the strings, I thought about the one thing I truly valued these days: my friendship with them.
It hadn't always been like this. Before meeting Lindsay and Olivia, my life was… different. After my mother's death, I fell into a void that seemed bottomless. My father never became someone I could trust; he simply moved on as if nothing had happened, leaving me alone with my pain. So I did what any hurt person would do: I isolated myself. I pushed the world away because I didn't want anyone to see how broken I was. I convinced myself that I didn't need anyone, that I could survive without real connections. But that didn't make the pain go away. It only buried it deeper.
And then Lindsay and Olivia came along. At first, I didn't want to get involved. Lindsay was too kind, always worrying about others, but there was also something… ambiguous between us. Like there was something neither of us dared to name. I remembered the day I gave her the bracelet my mother had given me, along with the letter I wrote without knowing if I should give it to her or not. And Olivia… well, Olivia was like an unstoppable hurricane. But little by little, without me even realizing it, they started creeping into my life. They dragged me out of my comfort zone, made me laugh when I didn't want to, and reminded me that, even in the worst moments, there was still something worth fighting for.
As I thought about all this, my fingers began to move almost instinctively. I no longer wanted to play "Let Her Go." That song didn't say anything about me, about how I felt now, or about what these two people meant to me. I needed something more honest, something that reflected the darkness I had felt before meeting them, but also the light they had brought into my life.
So I started playing "A Bad Dream" by Keane.
The first notes resonated in the small room, filling the air with a melancholy that seemed to come straight from my soul. Olivia and Lindsay looked at me in surprise, as if they hadn't expected me to choose something so personal. But I couldn't stop now. The words poured out of me, charged with emotions I had kept hidden for years:
"Why do I have to fly / Over every town up and down the line? / I'll die in the clouds above / And you, that I defend, I do not love..."
My voice trembled at first, but I didn't care. I was singing for myself, for the boy who used to be lost and alone, for the boy who thought he'd never find a place where he belonged. Every line of the song was like opening a door to my past:
"I wake up, it's a bad dream / No one on my side / I was fighting / But I just feel too tired to be fighting / Guess I'm not the fighting kind..."
I remembered those days after my mother's death, when I felt trapped in a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. No one understood what was going on inside me, and I didn't have the strength to explain it. I just kept moving forward, day after day, pretending everything was fine.
I continued playing, letting the words flow:
"Where will I meet my fate? / Baby, I'm a man, I was born to hate / And when will I meet my end? / In a better time you could be my friend..."
Here I thought about how I had convinced myself that I was destined to be alone, to be someone who couldn't trust anyone or anything. I had built walls around myself, but those walls only made me feel more trapped.
"I wake up, it's a bad dream / No one on my side / I was fighting / But I just feel too tired to be fighting / Guess I'm not the fighting kind..."
The song went on, taking me deeper into my memories. I thought about all the times I wanted to give up, about how I felt completely exhausted, as if I were fighting against the entire world with no chance of winning.
"Wouldn't mind it / If you were by my side / But you're long gone / Yeah, you're long gone now / Yeah..."
Here my voice cracked slightly. I was thinking about my mother, about all the times she had been there for me, teaching me to play the guitar, encouraging me to keep going. Her absence left a void I'll never fully fill. But at the same time, as I kept playing, I thought about Lindsay and Olivia. They weren't my mother, but they had brought something into my life that I thought I'd never have again: hope.
"Where do we go? / I don't even know / My strange old face / And I'm thinking about those days / And I'm thinking about those days..."
I saw myself before meeting them, walking alone, feeling like a spectator in my own life. I didn't know where I was going or what I wanted. I just existed because I didn't know how to stop.
Finally, I reached the last chorus:
"I wake up, it's a bad dream / No one on my side / I was fighting / But I just feel too tired to be fighting / Guess I'm not the fighting kind / Wouldn't mind it / If you were by my side? / But you're long gone / Yeah, you're long gone now / Yeah..."
I ended the song with a soft final chord, letting the silence return to the room. I didn't dare look up immediately. I knew Olivia and Lindsay were watching me, but I wasn't sure what to say to them.
It was Lindsay who broke the silence first. I heard her steps approaching slowly, and before I could react, I felt her arms wrap around my neck in a warm, protective hug. Her body trembled slightly, and I saw tears streaming down her face as she rested her head on my shoulder. In that moment, I noticed she was wearing the bracelet I had given her, the one with my name engraved on it. She wore it always, as if it were a precious treasure.
—Sack… —she murmured, her voice barely audible but charged with emotion—. I don't know what to say… That was… incredible. Thank you for sharing that with us.
Olivia, who normally wasn't one to show much vulnerability, also approached, discreetly wiping a tear from her cheek.
—Sack, that was… wow. Really deep. I didn't know you had such a poetic side.
I finally looked up, feeling exposed but also relieved. Her hug had completely disarmed me.
—Thank you —I said softly, trying to smile despite the lump in my throat—. I just… wanted you to know that I'm grateful to have you both in my life. I know I'm not the best at expressing my emotions, but… you've changed a lot of things for me. For the better.
Lindsay stared at me, her eyes still bright with tears.
—You don't have to thank us —she said gently—. We're also grateful to have you. I don't know what I would've done without you… and Olivia, of course.
Olivia let out a nervous giggle, breaking the emotional tension.
—Well, technically, without me, you two wouldn't even talk to each other. So you can include me in your sentimental moments.
We all laughed, though the emotion still lingered in the air. Lindsay finally pulled away from me but kept a hand on my shoulder, as if she wanted to make sure I was okay.
—You should write your own songs —Olivia said, regaining her mischievous tone—. I promise to be your biggest fan.
—Thanks —I replied, though I knew I'd probably never write my own song—. But I think for now I'll settle for playing any song with you and Lindsay.
Olivia shook her head, crossing her arms with a serious expression.
—No way. That song you just played is perfect. It's emotional, deep, and it has piano. It's perfect for me! Plus, Lindsay can sing it, and you can play the guitar. It's a complete package.
Lindsay nodded quickly, wiping away the last of her tears.
—She's right, Sack. That song means a lot to you, and I think we should play it together. It would be special.
I frowned, uncomfortable with the idea of exposing myself so much in front of others.
—It's too personal. Besides, I don't think it's appropriate for the Frost Amphitheater. It's… too depressing.
—Exactly! —Olivia exclaimed, pointing at me triumphantly—. It's unique, authentic, and it represents the three of us. We can't just ignore it.
—Besides —Lindsay added, with a soft smile—, it would be a way to honor what you just shared with us. I don't want you to think we don't value it.
Her words made me hesitate. I knew they were right, but the idea of playing something so intimate in front of other people made me nervous. However, seeing the determination in Olivia's eyes and the sincerity in Lindsay's, I knew I couldn't refuse.
—Fine —I said finally, sighing—. But if anyone cries, it's not my fault.
Olivia clapped excitedly, and Lindsay gave me one last grateful look before we started practicing.
I knew life would continue to be difficult, that there would be days when I'd feel lost again. But I also knew that, no matter what, I wouldn't be alone anymore.