"After the major storm passes, there would then always be sunshine."
Despite his young age, Shouichi's outlook seemed unusually mature. Perhaps it was a result of living mostly on his own in Australia. His late father, Destirling Wakanabe, had been his sole guardian, and Shouichi rarely received parental care like other children. Although Western culture's laid-back work environment might have seemed relaxed, his father's fly-in fly-out (FIFO) job meant he was often absent.
For years, Shouichi's upbringing was largely nurtured by caregivers. That past now felt distant and almost unreal, as if it belonged to someone else, he mused. But things had changed. Nowadays, Shouichi feels a new sense of hope and reliance on the presence of someone who genuinely supports him.
"Let's meet at the old building's fire escape, Ishikawa Misaki-chan." Shouichi hit the send button. His body trembled but his resolve was absolute.
Shouichi finished the club practice like normal, then he bidded farewell to the loving couple, Shinji and Emi. It appeared they already knew about his dreadful episode but none wanted to utter anything. Shouichi thought it was best to talk to them after his final confrontation with Misaki.
The sky was slightly cloudy this afternoon, and the sunny days seemed to be giving way to the rainy season. Shouichi reflected that, much like the changing seasons, things were always changing, regardless of what people did. He walked past the main school grounds and headed toward the old building, making his way to the fire escape stairway on the third floor, where he was scheduled to meet.
His graphite-black bangs were long overdue for the trim but he couldn't care less about that. It's brushing irritatedly as he took each step. In response, Shouichi parted them neatly into each side, creating a new fashionable parted style. Not that stylish was his goal at the moment, he just needed the convenience.
Shouichi arrived at the fire escape door, he swung it open with a creaking sound. The twin-tailed girl was fidgeting her heels on the metal floor next to the handrails. Misaki's face was pale and gloomy. Her obsidian eyes were hollow contradictory to her usual self. Shouichi realised it must have been as difficult for her as it was for him.
Misaki glanced up at him but no word escaped her lips.
"Good afternoon, Misaki-chan." Shouichi greeted her first. He restrained from using her nickname this time, it didn't feel right to him anymore.
"Shou-senpai… I mean Shouichi-senpai…" The girl stuttered but returned the same sentiment. She bit her pale lips remorsefully.
"I'm~... I'm glad you still wanted to see me in person." She spoke up, averting her eyes with guilt.
"I guess, I want to do it properly…" Shouichi replied, stepping in a bit closer.
"I'm sorry, senpai. I truly am." Misaki bowed her head as low as possible.
"What's done is done, Misaki-chan. I don't think apologies will cut it." He told her promptly.
"Umm… For what it's worth, could you please listen to my story?" Misaki's eyes glistened with an onset of tears, begging him.
"I suppose that's the least I can do." Shouichi approved with a nod, crossing his arms and straining his ears.
"Well… I never told you this but…" The girl was anxiously rubbing her hands together.
"About my depression, it is caused by Beauty Dysmorphic Disorder…" She revealed.
"BDD… I've heard of that term before. It's a disorder that makes people dissatisfied and insecure with how they look, right?" Shouichi pondered aloud.
"Yes…" She nodded.
"I couldn't stop hating my face, senpai." Misaki glanced at him blankly. "My eyes can always be more doe, my nose can be more prominent, my lips can be more plum. These thoughts float up in my mind every time I look into the mirror."
"Misaki…" He found it difficult to say.
"It's eating me alive…" She let out a tearful moan. Shouichi wanted to console her like a good old day but dismissed the thought.
"I spent a lot of time, effort, and money. But my parents… they~they cut me off. They stopped spending money on my treatment. The last thing they did, they sent me to some psychiatrist which labeled me as insane. And you already knew what happened afterward…" She carried on with a trembling voice.
"Should have been me who died that day." Misaki blamed herself, wiping her cheeks.
"Why didn't you tell me before…" Shouichi grimly responded, his resolve wavered. The boy truly emphasised with her but he was also hurt to his core.
"I'm sorry, senpai…" Misaki fell on her knees and started crying uncontrollably. Her flooding sorrow, guilt, and self-loath overwhelmed her.
Shouichi finally came to understand the girl's behaviour. Her illness had driven her to commit unimaginable acts, surrendering herself to her disorders without restraint. However, this did not give her the right to drag him down. He objectively had every right to end their relationship.
"This is beyond what I expected. I initially thought it was just a normal cheating but damn! What should I do next? Should I break up with her as planned, right now?" Several conflicting thoughts floated in his head. The boy contemplated hard for his next action.