A part of me was shredded off as my father's head fell to the ground. The whole world crumbled beneath me. I looked up at the man crouching at my level, a smile spreading out on my face.
I couldn't answer him. Words were lodged in my throat, buried under a mountain of grief and rage. My eyes were glued to my father's lifeless body, suspended grotesquely in the air before it crumpled to the ground like a discarded puppet.
"You win...you win, Jin Yutian. You win." I laughed, cried and couldn't even explain what was going on in my head anymore.
"Oh no, you don't get to do your self pity. You're silent now?" Jin Yutian mocked, his words spewing out with victory. "Where is that indomitable will of the Tang Dynasty's most formidable princess? Has it withered away with your pathetic kingdom?"
"I will kill the hell out of you Jin Yutian." I bit my lips, anger rushing through my veins which literally popped on my forehead. "In the life or next, I will kill you. I will set it as a reminder everyday of my life. I will kill you."
"Dear Lin Xi, what a dream you have. I wanted to spare your life, give you chance to redeem yourself. Lin Xi, I will never hurt you but you dared to hurt me. I thought I could trust you."
"I have no regrets Jin Yutian!" With that, I pushed over him, grabbing the small dagger hanging around his belt and slit my throat in half.
I felt my flesh searing into half, pain surging through my body with the dagger dropping to the ground stained with blood. My entire body hit the ground, growing pale. Instinctively, I reached out for my neck, sensing my pulse fade with each beat longer than the other until there was nothing to feel.
The world dimmed around me and the last thing I saw was Jin Yutian take off the mask on his face. His hands brushed over my face, and then picked up the knife and cut deeply into my chest.
"Shall we meet in the next life..." He extend his hands with grimace all written on his face and laughed it off, killing the last stain of blood on his hands.
And just like that he disappeared.
"No! It can't be..." I gurged out more blood, my life slipping away from me and just like that, darkness loomed over me. I couldn't tell if it the universe itself had swallowed me, taking me into a void of nothingness.
In that moment, memories flashed before my eyes but there was one that stayed---Jin Yutian. Of all could memory I could die with, only his face drowned in his own blood stayed. Perhaps it was my last vestige of will of revenge but I knew what I wanted in the next life.
To kill him...
And with that, the world completely went black, having me cease to exist.
Is this what death feels like?
***********
"Miss Shen Mi, you are going to be late."
Just when I thought I was drowning, a sparkle of light shine over me. Weakly, my eyes flustered open to find a woman dressed in a purple but plain hanfu standing next to me.
"Enough of your pretense Young Miss. If you are going to die, you better die right. Besides your father was long ready to discard you as the concubine to Lord King Jin."
I heard that same crispy voice speak. It was unfamiliar to hear people when dead. I breathed out, my eyes staring at the woman in question who stumped her feet and went out of the room, banging th door shut.
All alone, I rose from the bed, my head still trying to pick up the pieces.
"System Leveled up. Congratulations, Miss Lin Xi on your first death."
Now I was crazy. I laughed inwardly hearing voices spurning around me. When I assumed I completely lost it, something sparkled on my wrist, a bangle made of sapphire appeared, forming a lock chain decor around me.
"Oh, my bad. I should have introduced myself properly." I was terrified of the beeping noise coming from the wrist bangle. I laughed again, touching the sides of the bangle not until I looked into the large mirror laid above my head.
"The fuck is this?" I was drawn to the drooping sleeves below my arms and the robe tied around my waist. "Aren't I supposed to be dead?" The clothes were the least of my problem while I got down from the bed, straightening out the rumples on the cloth and looking fully at my reflection in the mirror.
To my surprise nothing was there. Not even a scar. It was as if nothing of such happened.
"Welcome to World XII, Miss Lin Xi. I am your guide Xira."
"You again?" I chuckled at the glowing bracelet talking on it's own and detached it from my wrist, flinging it to the bed. I turned around, undressing the bunch of ugly fabrics from my body. I paused frozen on the removal of the headpiece stuck to my head when I felt a finger lay on my shoulders.
"Don't fight the transmigration, Lin Xi. For better or for worse. This is your better especially when you slit your own throat in your previous life. That was very stupid of you."
I turned around to see a woman seated on the bed, her hair in pure white and her skin flawless like the sun. She smiled brightly, flicking her thumb to my forehead.
"So my talking bangle is now a human being? I really have lost it, haven't I?" I chuckled with no meaning, however determined to run as far away from that woman and the ugly dress was in.
"Actually, we collided during your death. I'm Xira, your guide to winning in your second chance life."
"Second life?" My ears rang as I gazed around the room. It was nothing like the military regime era I came from where my room was in paints of grey and black, with sorts of weapons hung on my wall. This one was a bit ugly in the sense of its rainbow colored paints. "So I am not dead?"
"Hopefully not..." She burst into laughter, nudging me on my shoulders before coming down from the bed. "Do you believe in being transmigrated?"
"Lies. This is just the moment where I almost die, but I don't die because somehow I am high on stupid fantasies. Take me back to my world or at least give me some clothes to wear and not this ugly doodles of a cloth."
"You still don't get it do you? Tsk, I don't know why the universe made me so unfortunate to be stuck with you." Xira rolled her eyes, falling back into the bed right after, spurring on the bed. "So get this right, you were dead. You slit your throat but I didn't let you die cause I need you for something. So I gave you a new life however...."
"However what?" My brows furrowed with a drastic pause and awkward smile. "What did you do?"
"I made a misjudgement and now you are in a bit of a mess but don't worry. I saved you from death."
"What the fuck did you do?"
"I kinda mixed up your timeline with that of a dead leukemia princess. So congratulations, you are Shen Mi, the illegitimate daughter of Shen Fuchen. Surprise..."
"....."