Hull, England
August 12th, Year of our lord 1072
Johanne had been waiting for this day for nearly a year. After finally putting down a rebellion in the north and slaying nearly 40% of the northern population, William had peace. No sooner had that been accomplished, when the Scots crossed the border and raided what was left. William gathered yet another army and crossed the border in early 1072. It was a short campaign and he managed to secure peace at the threat of burning all of Scottland. One of the last acts William made before returning to Caen, was to visit Hull. Johanne didn't know what to expect. He could simply say a word and have her thrown on the fire then and there.
But she was relieved when William took her hand and kissed it. Showing all, that he bore Johanne no ill will. He blessed the union between herself and the Earl. She had gambled that since no seed of hers would inherit, that it didn't matter. Her new husband was infirm, and his heir was already established. For William there was no need to take out his anger on her. Gerold and Adelard had taken the brunt of that for her.
As to her feelings on the matter enough time had passed that she was able to hold her mask well. Gerold could very likely be innocent of the charge leveled at him. Why the Queen would choose him and not some other man to blame, Johanne knew not. And she could no more get revenge on Matilda than she could bring back her son. Something that burned inside her as she showed respect to the murderer who had killed her happiness. When she rose from her bow of thanks she found that all the assembled were silent, and unmoving. That was when the feeling she had been sensing the last few days finally came true. She remembered suddenly the other times she had seen this and she remembered again, that she was more than just Johanne.
"It's time for you to exit the link my dear. You have seen much and experienced much.... How are you?"
Johanne turned and saw the others disappear and only she and this old woman, were left. She was processing a great deal when she finally remembered this woman's name, it was Nancy, and her real name was Hope. Nancy smiled for her and hugged her, apologizing for all the emotions coursing through her just then.
"Come, lets visit Adelard."
They walked out of the church and to the green out back. His stone was there and Johanne felt her emotions boil. She knew she was Hope again, but the reality of this was simply too much for her. She cursed at nothing and had to fight her emotions to keep them at bay. Nancy spoke and looked at her with pride.
"Adelard was the best of us, losing him was painful. But I am glad you got to know him, now a part of him will live on in you, and not just in me. I haven't taken any one else to this memory, just you Hope. Even my children do not know of Adelard."
Nancy had centuries to deal with her loss of Adelard. For Hope his death had only been a short time before.
"Why kill him, why! He was just a boy, what harm was he?"
Nancy came closer and looked directly at her. Hope wasn't sure what she was thinking, she was stone faced. But then she put her hand in Hope's and it was clear just how time does not heal all wounds.
"William took out his anger over his wife on my son. I am sure Adelard tried to protect his father. He loved him, idolized him. I don't have to tell you what it was to live then. You know as well as I do after this. If he lived now, well I am sure both of us would make him pay."
Hope thought about William and Matilda and despised them with as much hate as she could muster. A part of her said she should have room in there for Gerold, but she didn't.
"I know you wanted to help me… but 12 years! Nancy I don't know myself anymore. I have to keep telling myself that Adelard isnt mine, but he is! I know that child, I gave birth to him. I raised that boy, I know it in my spirit he is…but he isnt!"
Nancy pulled her from staring at the grave and took ahold of her other hand.
"I know, its hard Hope, it is. Even your human life can be like this. Every woman feels the fire in one way or another. By coming here my dear, it will serve you. The wisdom of being a mother, a wife, will prepare you for Gerold or any other."
Hope tried to remember who Hope was, but she couldn't. That time as a 21st century woman felt like a short story told to her at night. She no more identified with that woman than she did the Queen. She said so to Nancy who just smiled.
"You will child, once you are away from this place it will return. I wanted you to learn about commitment and its value. You are such a young thing, and in the day you live, things are so different. You don't see the examples you should child. Women aren't taught how to be women. Living as me these dozen years, I know you understand now what it means to commit. Why it's vital when starting your life, and whom really suffers when you don't have it. You needed desperately to commit if you had any chance of winning Gerold, and his heart. Later you were committed when you trusted Gerold even when you felt he was in the wrong. You went to England to build a life, simply because Gerold was there. And you were willing to do what it took to survive. All of these memories, feelings, experiences will serve you well in your life. They formed the basis by which I have lived all these centuries. Life is not just about your happiness is it?"
Hope knew precisely whom she was talking about. She was looking at Adelard's grave and knew it took 100% commitment from her to raise him. Her marriage and her life required it as well. Otherwise…..well she knew the result. Her children in graves before they were 18, and her husband gone. She thought back to her life as Hope now that it was becoming clearer. She compared how little thought she had given to her future; she was appalled at her lack of seriousness. From the way she dated in college, to how she had just fallen into this relationship with her Gerold. No real thought, no serious planning on anything. Life as Johanne was an eye opener, there was no doubt about that.
"It's time we leave this place, and let you return home. Back to your real-life child. I know I have asked a great deal of you by being here. But I know this experience will serve you well. No matter what happens next."
She looked at Nancy and sighed, living in the 11th century was hard. But she had grown accustomed to it, or rather Johanne had. She took her pleasures where she could, and found being a mother to be nothing how she expected it to be. Without the modern life experiences to color her outlook, it had allowed her to live as Johanne had. Loving and hating the parts of the life as she had done. Even now she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt she would never be the same. How could she? She would never look at food the same ever again. Or convivences, technology, religion, or people for that matter the same way. But her mind could not stay on such things long. Her heart demanded to know what became of things. The very life she had worked so hard to build.
Hope looked again at the grave of Adelard and wanted to know what happened next. What became of Johanne after. Did she get vengeance on that bastard? The only thing at that moment she could think about was that poor boy, and her love. Torn apart and not even allowed a decent burial. That was what Hope was passionate about. Where her heart was pushing her mind to.
"No child, I was one woman. A vampire yes, but I could no more harm William, than I could bring Adelard back to life. As for what happened to me, I stayed married to the Earl for a short time. He died of fever the following winter. His people eventually found out about the Kings accusations of Gerold. And as such I was not as welcome as before. But the Earl's son was kind to me and helped me. He was remarkable to understand as he did."
Hope asked to see both the Earl and his son again. Nancy returned them to the image and Hope put a hand on them both and closed her eyes. Hope quietly thanked the men who had saved her from death. It wasn't her really, but at that moment it felt like it had been. Nancy came close and looked at the Earl's son.
"I think he cared for Adelard and wanted to help make that right in some way. Not long after his father died I went south and created a new identity, that was when I became Nancy and allowed Johanne to finally die. I put away my feelings for Gerold, Adelard, Isabe and the rest. I even tried to forget the two that I left in Caen. I pretended they never lived, and I went on with the business of survival. It's as you saw with me all thought those dozen years. You do what you have to survive, but you try to do it in as loving and kind way possible. You can't always, sometimes you have to be brutal. Sometimes you have to kill. But what is import is the ones you love. Those lives you were given charge of. I am glad I could share this with you, I am glad they live again in you."
Hope looked at the scene and knew it was time to go. But before she did she asked Nancy to see her family one last time. All of them. In a flash she was taken back to Caen to her father's house. It was the same day she had first met Gerold. But instead of just her parents and young Isabe, there was also Adelard, Charlotte and Louis. At seeing them all thoughts of being in control of herself were lost. Seeing your children breathe and smile again nearly took everything she had not to burst into tears. Hope hung on to her children for so very long. Adelard appeared as he was that day when he left with his father. She kissed him and hugged him so tight he protested. She thought she could well live like that. Just holding him and knowing he was safe again. Charlotte was dressed in something Hope had made her. Charlotte wasn't sick anymore; she was bright and cheery. Little Louis held his big sister's hand and smiled for his mother. Hope didn't care what Nancy thought of her now. Anyone else would resent someone else living in this space. Hope didn't care, these were her children, her memories now. As far as Hope believed they were as real as anything she had ever known. Pulling away from them was nearly impossible and Hope had to force herself to go to the others.
It took so long to do this, she had no clue at the length. And she didn't care either, she wanted to live in this moment. Hope wondered if Nancy resented her over it, but she didn't let it stop her either. She cried as she wished her parents and Isabe adieu and then to say goodbye to that version of Gerold. The young one with the red hair. He was innocent of what William claimed, Hope knew it. She kissed her love and said her goodbye, but it stung, oh how it stung. Never to feel him again, never to see her children again. Nancy was kind to her that she never once complained, never once said anything. She could have, most women would have. But Hope felt far more like Johanne than the girl she was before. And she would be damned if she just left these precious ones without saying goodbye. If she had the power to keep this she would, but she knew she didn't. Nancy allowed Hope all the time she wanted. Adelard was the last one she said something to. She clung to him wishing like hell she could take him with her. But in the end Hope had to ask to go, even though she didn't want to leave. The moment she was out of the link she felt the largest headache she had ever experienced, but that was nothing compared to the hole in her heart.
Medford, Texas – The Hall
9:04 PM - Thursday - March 13th 2059
Kate heard Ashley's judgement and knew it came from Jay. It was almost as if a switch was thrown in that moment. From the day she had first awoke to find her eyes aqua, she had found peace and love in this clan. She adored all of them, they were more than family to her. But this was something different, her child was being directly threatened. And she wasn't about to let clan, friendship, or anything else get in the way of her child.
"If you make a single move to harm her I won't hesitate to kill you. That goes for any of you."
Kate looked from friend to friend conveying the message and her intent. Unknown to her daughter, Kate was an Alpha Vampire. One able to kill with a thought, and much, much more. The others in the room knew she was powerful and if she decided to, could easily resist. But she also knew she stood no chance of winning, with those in the room. Nearly all of those present were Alpha's like herself.
She slowly stood still holding Elsa's hand. She told them that they were leaving now, and warned them not to try to stop her. As long as Elsa had her mind and wasn't raving, then she would save her. It didn't matter if she only had seconds before she became just like poor Linda, Kate didn't care. Her baby was her baby, and she would be damned if she just let them kill her before her eyes.
"Kate be reasonable, we don't want to do this…. God we don't."
It had been Hanna who looked at her pleadingly. Kate took a breath and made it clear where her loyalties were. For a second she heard the pleading of her friend
"I know but she is my child. And the first person to take a step towards her will die."
It was very quiet for a moment. But it was ended by the deep and equally bold voice of Jay.
"I know, but we can't let you. It's not just about us, it's about the other children. I am sorry Kate, truly I am."
Kate's heart went cold and she prepared herself to do what she had rarely done. To take another's life. Yet nothing happened, they just looked at each other quietly and the longer it went, the sadder it became. By the time five minutes had expired, only Ashley was still firmly set on this. Kate saw her opening and suggested a compromise.
"Linda lost it almost the moment you told her Jay. If Elsa was going to lose it she would have already. Look at her, she is shivering in terror. She isn't going to hurt anyone."
Kate turned and looked at her frightened daughter. She clung to her side almost like she did when she was a little girl. In a strange way Kate felt more connected to her daughter right now than in her entire life. That alone was worth dying over.
"I will stay here with her, watching her. Ashley and I can deal with things if things turn for the worst. But I believe they won't. Please Jay, my daughter deserves to live, just like yours did."
Jay was holding his wife's hand and finally his own tough mask slipped and he looked up. Kate knew that small dagger into his heart did damage. But before he could respond Amy broke the moment.
"Jay! Nancy and Hope are awake."
Locke Home
9:45 PM - Thursday - March 13th 2059
Johanne didn't want to be seen, and she didn't want to speak. But she was in another's home, and she needed help. Nancy was asleep again, resting after the long link, and another, was here looking after her.
"Does that feel better?"
Johanne had been watching Nancy sleep, wishing her pain would go away when it did just that. She turned to the young girl who looked familiar and asked how she was able to just remove her pain.
"I am an Emerald Hope, we heal people. Now tell me what is going on, and what happened to Nancy?"
Hope, yes that was who she was or was it? It took a moment but Johanne finally was able to think clearly.
"I am not Johanne am I? Who are you again?"
The look on the girl showed her concern. She quietly reminded her that she was Amy, Nancy's granddaughter. Then she pointed directly into Johanne's chest.
"And you are Hope, or at least you used to be. Oh my, what on earth did Grandmother do to you?"
A memory crossed her mind just then of her sitting in a room with three others. All were young and were vampires, just like she was. It felt like it had been in the distant past. Confused Johanne or Hope or whoever she was looked around seeing that this room was not from the 11th century.
"Nancy was helping me, showing me her past I believe. My life as Hope keeps flashing to me but the only clear memories I have are as Johanne. From a time long before this one. What day is it? Nancy said time wouldn't pass at the same rate, but in there I know it's been years."
Amy paused for a bit taking in what Johanne\Hope was saying. Then after taking a long breath she replied.
"It's Thursday honey, just about 10pm. You have only been in the link for a day."
Johanne\Hope looked at this girl and again remembered her in the room with the others.
"Amy…. We met a long time ago didn't we. At…"
"Nancy's house, yes Hope we are still there. Clearly a lot has changed for you. I need to ask you some health questions ok. Just stay calm."
Johanne\Hope answered some basic questions about her health. Now that her head wasn't throbbing she could answer them without wincing. Amy took all of that in stride and spoke to the other woman in the room. This was not Amy's mother she had met earlier. This one was blonde yes, but she looked a bit taller and was clearly not a relation. She was looking over Nancy and was clearly evaluating her.
"She seems to be ok, but from the looks of her cells she has pushed her ability greatly. Amy you should see about having her thrall come at once, she will need to feed very soon. But past that I would let her rest. How is the human?"
Johanne\Hope didn't like being called "the human." She had begun to think of herself as an aqua for the last few years now. And she took pride in her clan, as she was… No, I suppose that isn't true anymore. That was Johanne not her. She could feel the truth in what Nancy said, that part of her was slipping away slowly. But not fast enough that she couldn't still mourn for her children… or Johannes's children. So much was different, not just for Hope but in general.
Hope had lots to process and she didn't pay much attention to Amy talking to the other woman about her health. Hope just tried to understand just who in hell she really was. When Amy asked how she felt she smiled and admitted she was a bit tired but wanted to walk if she could.
There was so much she didn't understand and so much she had to process. She was far more Johanne than Hope still. But gradually she was remembering what it was to be Hope. She wanted to go back to her family. But they were Nancy's not hers. And they were all long dead now. Living in that fake reality was dangerous, in ways Hope had never even possibly considered. How the aqua didn't just live in that place and never return, she would never know.
"Hope you really should just rest. It's the end of the day and you haven't really been sleeping. Your body is showing signs of sleep deprivation. Come lets have you lie down. You can take Elsa's old room ok?"
Hope felt powerful vampire arms lift her off the bed like a feather. Amy was easily guiding her away from Nancy and to another room. The moment she was upright she felt dizzy and nauseous. She asked Amy if Nancy would be ok once they were in the room.
"Yes I think so, but to be honest Hope this is all new to us. But Nancy is tough, you shouldn't worry to much about her."
Just then Hope's strength fled, and she nearly fell when she tried to move on her own strength. Amy helped her into the bed which she was shocked to discover was required. Her body was far weaker than she knew. When she asked about Elsa and if she would mind her sleeping in her bed, Amy had an odd look on her face.
"No dear I think you can rest here. Lie down and get some sleep. In the morning, we can talk. I know you have lots of questions, and so do we. But rest now ok?"
No sooner had Amy said it than Hope found herself beginning to nod off. This link had taken a great deal out of her. A moment later she was asleep dreaming of life in Caen with her children.
"Poor thing, sleep now. Rest while you can and find your strength. God knows you are going to need it."