The battlefield was a bloody mess. There was no time to look around, no time to see who was dead or who was still fighting. This was chaos personified. We were losing, losing badly but we had all promised to go down fighting. The scent of blood was thick in the air, and I couldn't help but wonder why my life had come to this. It just seemed like I could remember nothing else aside from the beginning of the battle. How did we get here?
'Oh sure, Kaelen,' my human muttered to himself in my head, while I dodged a snapping jaw. 'Be an alpha, they said. It'll be fun! Fun my sweet peetooty' I slashed at a rival wolf with my claws, sending him tumbling into a tree.
'Will you shut the hell up and let me concentrate, Kaelen!' I couldn't have a conversation in my head and fight at the same time. It was distracting.
Kaelen sighed. The expectations of an alpha were high, the sacrifices were dire and even in the face of excruciating pain, you couldn't allow your people to see your weakness. Honestly, I can't, for the life of me even remember how this started. Why were we fighting? Why would I allow my people to get massacred this way? I couldn't stop to get any answers.
I knew one thing though, I was losing a lot of blood and that's why my human 'Kaelen' was beginning to panic. A pack without an alpha was done for. I had no one to replace me.
'Damien,' he growled in my mind, we need to get out of here.
'Oh… really? You don't think I know that?' I snapped, ducking under a swipe that would've taken my head clean off.
My human didn't answer, which was never a good sign. I could feel my energy drain out of me as blood poured out from my side and neck. Kaelen was a strong human, we were perfectly matched but if I didn't find a way to heal myself soon, we would be perfectly gone.
As I stumbled away from the main fight, I caught sight of a figure lying on the ground among other dead wolves. She was a beauty to behold, her silver fur shone brightly beneath the moon. Even in the dark, I could see the faint and heavy breath she was taking and I felt that connection that had been described to me by friends and family my whole life.
'Mate,'
Kaelen froze. 'You're joking,' he muttered. 'Here? Now? Of all the—"
I growled loudly, cutting him off. 'Mate.'
'You sound like a freaking broken record, you horny bastard. Damien, we have to go, now!' We didn't have time for this. The amount of blood I had lost already would kill an ordinary wolf. But I couldn't help myself. I found myself inching closer to her praying to the moon goddess to keep her alive.
When I reached her, the world stopped. She looked like an angel, even with her bloody fur. It shimmered like a reflection of stars over the sea.
'Hey," I whined, crouching beside her. 'Don't die on me'
She blinked at me in surprise, 'Life is a bitch, isn't it? Seconds to my death and I find my mate.'
'Stay with me', I couldn't reach Kaelen anymore. I wanted to turn and carry her out of there. I wanted to try to save her.
She snorted, 'You look worse off than I am. You are bleeding all over my fur?'
I glanced down at myself; I had a few minutes left to save her and to save myself. I had to, I had to do something but I suddenly felt tired and helpless. I found my mate at the end of my life. I had waited my whole life for that moment and I would be damned if I let this cruel world take my one shot of happiness away from me. I howled loudly, the pain ripping through me; the loss of my human and the loss of my mate.
Her eyes softened, but her voice was weak. 'I… I'm sorry
My body collapsed right beside hers, life slowly leaving me 'You don't get to check out now. I just found you.'
Instinctively, my lips began to move on their own, chanting an ancient incantation. One we had been forbidden to use. One that I couldn't remember how I learned, her lips thinned as she realized what I was doing. Her eyes glowed brighter in alarm but nothing could stop me in that moment.
As I concluded with the chant, with the last of my strength, I howled, the pain of loss strengthening my resolve, I sank my teeth into her neck, making her mine, eternally.
'What did you do?' she whispered, her body going limp. Lights flashed and faded in my vision, I knew just what I had done, I knew the consequences but I would sacrifice anything to have her by my side. I felt the eternal pain and I screamed, 'I can take it'
I looked down at the lifeless form of my mate; I didn't even know her name, 'til we meet again.'
*****
The pain in my chest didn't fade, it got worse. I bit back my scream as my eyes fluttered open, the battleground transitioning into our bedroom.
I gripped my chest, tumbling to the ground on my bedroom floor. Every full moon, the same dream, a battlefield I did not recognize, a life I did not live, a mate I haven't met. These dreams began the full moon after my thirteenth birthday, and the pain followed after my seventeenth.
I had taken over my pack at sixteen, as soon as my father, the Great Alpha Dennis died. I had no one to ask questions. An alpha could not show weakness to his people. My Beta knew but had been sworn to secrecy. And as the years stretched without an end to the pain, it was time to look for answers.