'Alger must have sensed something strange… Is he suspicious of me now…?' A flurry of thoughts raced through my mind in an instant.
I swallowed hard, my throat feeling parched as if I hadn't had a drink all day, even though only a few minutes had passed since I left the Marquis' study, where I had snacked and sipped fragrant tea.
'Calm down, calm down... Just breathe!' I urged myself, trying to quell the panic rising within me, which made my face pale.
"..." My tongue felt numb as I blinked rapidly, attempting to meet Alger's gaze. He was watching me intently, seemingly eager to capture every reaction that crossed my face.
"!"
Only when I discerned that the concern in Alger's eyes was rooted in worry for my well-being, rather than suspicion, could I breathe a quiet sigh of relief.
'What should I say in this situation...? Should I admit that my partial memory loss has returned? Would Alger even believe me?' I pondered for a moment, then flinched slightly as he placed both of his large hands on my shoulders.
"Does your head hurt? Don't force yourself to remember!" Alger said firmly, his grip steady but gentle as if he feared I might suddenly collapse.
"If you've forgotten, then it must not be an important memory," he continued, furrowing his brow as though he were trying to comfort a little sister on the verge of tears.
"..." I was momentarily taken aback by Alger's words.
'Did he misunderstand and think I was in pain from trying to remember…?' The thought made me feel a twinge of guilt.
"Brother..." I murmured, my voice low and hoarse.
Alger nodded at my call, his gaze attentive as he waited for me to finish my thought.
"... I didn't forget at all. I'm sure it didn't happen. John Burbom never visited me at the academy," I asserted, swallowing hard.
'Because in the novel, there was never any detail like that. The relationship between Eleanor and her fiancé, John Burbom, is depicted as distant and unfamiliar.'
'They had only met once during the engagement ceremony. After that, Eleanor had to leave for the academy without a chance to talk to him.'
'Moreover, there were no memories of such an encounter in Eleanor's mind.'
Alger stared at me in silent contemplation before nodding at my disclosure.
"Okay. But did you lie when you wrote the letter? I remember Father also inquiring at the academy, and your fiancé's name was mentioned, even if it was only for a single meeting." He explained slowly, concerned not to shock me further.
But I found myself cursing instead of feeling astonished.
'Damn it! Does this mean Eleanor and John met outside of the engagement ceremony? If so, what was written in the novel might not be entirely accurate?!'
'My beloved little brother, why did you write this novel incompletely?! Why did you leave such an important detail unwritten?!'
A whirlwind of thoughts surged through my mind, making me feel as if I were standing on the edge of a cliff, teetering precariously on the brink of a vast chasm.
'Does this mean the cheat sheet I was proud of, knowing the original plot of this world, is utterly unreliable?!'
'Am I now walking a path toward safety or doom? Could it be that the main story has begun without me even realizing it?!'
My body started to tremble, and I felt stripped of the security that had once come from knowing what lay ahead in this world. I felt exposed and vulnerable as if I could perish at any moment without warning.
'No... no... that can't be!'
The weight of my thoughts suddenly made me shiver and feel weak. I was on the verge of crumpling, but fortunately, Alger's hands remained clasped firmly on my shoulders.
"Brother..." I muttered in a trembling voice. "Help me... please..."
'Please come and save me, little brother...' I thought desperately, the cold slowly washing over me as if it were choking the very life from my body.
However, that icy grip vanished instantly as a pair of warm arms enveloped my trembling form.
"It's alright; your big brother is here," Alger whispered, stroking my hair with clumsy movements as if he were unaccustomed to comforting someone.
I froze for a moment, and all my chaotic thoughts faded as if they had never existed, allowing me to take a small breath, filled with conflicting emotions of sadness and relief.
Even though my real younger brother wasn't present, I had an older brother in this world—someone I should also call my little brother given my true age—now trying to soothe me.
This realization filled me with guilt but also happiness.
'Eleanor, you truly have a kind family that cares about you... So why are you being such a reclusive person?'
As I basked in the warmth of Alger's embrace, the trembling in my body gradually subsided, his touch soothing every frayed nerve. But just as a sense of calm began to settle over me, a sudden realization struck, and I froze.
Something wasn't right.
'Wait, if Eleanor is indeed a reclusive person who rarely opens up, even to her family, why did she suddenly mention in a letter that John Burbom visited her at the academy? Given her personality, she could have easily chosen to remain silent, especially knowing that her family would undoubtedly verify everything with the academy. They would find out without her needing to bring it up!'
'What could have compelled Eleanor to share that information herself?'
'... Don't tell me she believed him after just one meeting and tried to convince her family that John was a good man who genuinely cared about his fiancée?'
'Aaah, what could they have possibly talked about that day? Eleanor, why are there no memories left from that encounter?'
My mind was a chaotic jumble of thoughts and possibilities, swirling around without clarity. None of these notions felt concrete or reliable; despite having read the novel, I was completely lost.
'If only I could see my little brother right now....' I thought wearily, feeling an invisible weight pressing down on my shoulders.
"It's okay. It's okay."
Meanwhile, Alger, completely unaware of the turmoil in my mind, repeated the same phrase like a broken record, hoping to calm my mounting panic.
After all, he felt responsible for the turmoil I was experiencing and was determined to take responsibility—even if it meant facing our father's wrath, the Marquis, who was fiercely protective of his only daughter.
'Not to mention Mother's scolding... and Eiser's reaction later....' Alger shuddered, recalling the horror of facing Eiser when he was angry.
"Eleanor, you can tell me anything you want, or ask for anything you need. I'll do my best to grant it," Alger coaxed, treating me as if I were a small child asking for sweets.
I pondered for a moment, considering what to ask without arousing suspicion.
'Right now, I can't go out, and I have no idea how to gather information, so I must make the most of this golden opportunity!'
"Um... could you check on John's condition one more time?" I glanced at Alger with pleading eyes.
"The fact that I don't remember him visiting me at the academy feels so strange..." I added, trying to project a sense of genuine concern.
Alger didn't hesitate at my request; he nodded as if he'd anticipated it.
"Of course," he replied, ruffling the top of my head affectionately, causing the neatly styled hair Tina had arranged to become tousled.
At that moment, I felt a surge of relief. This handsome man seemed to believe in me, calming my unfounded anxieties.
"I told you from the start," Alger smirked as if he could read my mind. Then his tone shifted to one of reassurance.
"There are things you can't share with our parents, but you can confide in me, your older brother. Don't hesitate, as I will help you with everything I have."
"Eiser feels the same," he added softly, though I missed this last part, lost in a wave of emotion.
'Is this how it feels to have an older sibling you can truly rely on?' I thought with a bittersweet smile, reflecting on the absence of support I felt, being the eldest child and head of the family. I had always needed to remain strong for my younger brother, who sometimes behaved childishly and gave me headaches.
'At the very least, I hope my little brother has always felt he could rely on me as an older sister...'
I smiled softly at Alger as memories of the past filled my thoughts.
"Thank you, Brother Alger."
***
I glanced at my bedroom window, where Tina was about to draw the curtains. Just before they blocked my view, I caught a brief glimpse of the starless night sky.
My gaze shifted to Doctor Rui, sitting in the chair beside my bed, engrossed in the examination notes in his hands, muttering to himself in a low voice.
Meanwhile, the family doctor, Vincent—who I had grown accustomed to—was engaged in a heated debate with Emmeline's family doctor, Rochelle, regarding the results of my examinations.
They argued about whose findings were more accurate, entirely focused on their dispute and not glancing my way as I sat wrapped in a thick blanket, feeling the chill of the night air.
I was touched by their fervent dedication to analyzing my health, but at the same time, I felt exhausted. All I wanted was for the commotion to cease so I could finally rest and end the drain on my reserves.
"..." I stole another glance at the young doctor beside me, silently hoping he would intervene and help dismiss the two arguing doctors.
Unfortunately, he remained oblivious, lost in his own thoughts.
'Someone, please help me....' I groaned inwardly.