"You look positively unsightly, human."
Maria could barely breathe, his chest heaving as he stood there, speechless. There was nothing to say in response to Enanon's words—not that it mattered. Enanon would tear apart any excuse he tried to make. He'd screwed up, and even he couldn't deny that.
He thought he had been careful, that he could get away with just a quick swipe. But no. He should've expected this and refrained from that petty act of revenge. Nothing was going his way these days: the incident with the relic, the gang member finding him so quickly, the kidnapping attempt, and getting beaten up. Of course, this was going to blow up in his face as well. Now, they'd have to lay low until things cooled down. Great. And, of course, Enanon hadn't said a word since his earlier remark. Just silent. Cold. Distant.
Later that night, Maria sat on a stool in the bathroom, a basin of water in front of him as he scrubbed furiously. The scratches stung, but at least they weren't serious. Physically, he was fine. Mentally? Not so much. His mind kept spinning, replaying the mess from earlier. His pride was wounded because he had spectacularly failed at the one thing he was good at—stealing–not to mention Enanon was giving him the silent treatment, which was somehow worse than when he was constantly throwing scathing remarks at Maria.
Not that Maria liked the asshole. Far from it—he hated him. Who wouldn't? Enanon insulted him every chance he got, made it clear at every turn how much of a disappointment Maria was in his eyes. Who would like a jerk like that? Maria doesn't have that freaky kink thank you very much. They were stuck with each other, sure, but they hated each other's guts.
It was just that the acknowledgement from earlier—when he got down from the Linmail tree—didn't feel bad. The last time he'd had any acknowledgment was in his childhood, before he was kicked out of the house for stealing. After that, well… how does a thief seek acknowledgment without ending up behind bars?
He couldn't stop thinking about Baldy. Was he dead? Was that even possible? Each thought knotted Maria's stomach tighter, panic bubbling up again.
Spotting some money on the table, he saw that Enanon had already collected the reward—the one Maria should have received for himself when he had done all the hard work. Maria shook his head. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered now.
Again, was baldy.. was he really dead? He can't be right? He's just passed out. There's no way Maria had actually killed someone right?The idea made Maria's chest tighten with panic again. He couldn't breathe. He had been trying to calm down for hours, but it wasn't working. His mind was spiraling. He had to do something—to say something—anything—
"Hey, Enanon… Look, I'm sorry. I'll try to be better. I won't get into trouble anymore."
The words tumbled out before Maria could think. He wasn't even sure he meant them, but what else could he do? He needed something, anything, to distract himself from the gnawing thought that he might have killed someone. The guilt and fear gripping him now were unbearable. He was relieved he hadn't succeeded in kidnapping the young lady back at the manor—he didn't think he could handle feeling worse than this.
Enanon didn't respond at first, simply staring out the window with his back turned. Maria's heart sank. Maybe he wouldn't answer at all. Then, finally, Enanon spoke.
"Do not utter words you cannot keep, human."
"I'll try to keep them! I—" A loud growl interrupted him, his stomach making its hunger painfully obvious. He cringed but pressed on. "I'll try! I mean, it's not easy, okay? I've been a thief, the bad guy, my whole life. You can't expect me to become a good guy overnight, as pathetic as that sounds to you! I know you hate being stuck with me; I get it. Trust me, I hate this whole thing too! And yeah, I know I was the one who stole the relic, who started all this…"
He gestured at himself and the room around them, his voice rising as he rambled. The words felt like they were spilling out, beyond his control. He couldn't stop. The more he spoke, the more desperate he felt. His chest tightened, a mess of emotions jumbling around in his head.
"But I didn't know! I didn't ask for any of this! I'm not some… some chosen hero or whatever! I'm just a thief! I'm not made for this kind of thing, and it's not like I even want it! I don't want any of it! I don't want to give birth! I just want to go back to my old life! I'm…"
"I'm scared…"
Those final two words escaped him in a whisper, his throat tight with panic. He was terrified—of what was happening to his body, of the responsibility he never asked for, of the future that felt like it was spiraling out of his control. His hands shook as he stared at the floor, willing himself not to cry. He felt tears welling up, but there was no way he was going to cry in front of Enanon.
There was a rustle, a faint glow out of the corner of his eye. Enanon's shadow loomed over him, but Maria didn't look up. He didn't want to see the disdain on his face.
"It's futile to dwell on what has already happened. We shall go out and replenish our energy with a meal."
Maria blinked. The words were cold, matter-of-fact. But… they weren't harsh. There wasn't any anger. He lifted his head just in time to see Enanon walking toward the door, the quiet click of it shutting behind him.
Maria sat there for a moment. He rubbed his eyes, wincing at the pain from his swollen face, and decided Enanon was right. He needed food. He wrapped a robe around himself and slipped out of the room, praying he wouldn't run into anyone from Baldy's gang.
Dinner was quiet. Maria barely looked up from his plate, too busy thinking about everything Enanon had said. Or hadn't said. That weird moment of… sympathy, or whatever it was. He wasn't sure. But maybe, just maybe, Enanon wasn't made of 100% asshole after all.
______________
Upon the human's return to their inn, Enanon had lectured him, unleashing a tirade of insults. He didn't hold back—this fool deserved every word.
But even as the words left his mouth, Enanon realized the futility. Talking to this human was pointless. The thief lacked any semblance of self-control or discipline, incapable of real change. No matter how much he lectured or scorned, Maria remained the same—a constant source of humiliation on Enanon's path to godhood.
After the lecture, Enanon withdrew into silence, his patience thoroughly drained. What was the point of continuing? Gazing out the window, he cursed his rotten fate. Of all possible companions, this wretched thief was his burden. A disgrace. His human was a fool, unworthy of the divine path they shared, and yet here they were—bound together.
The human fidgeted restlessly, clearly shaken from the earlier incident. He kept glancing at Enanon, as if wanting to speak. Enanon noticed the unease but ignored it. Silence was a welcome reprieve after the nonsense he'd already endured.
Finally, the human broke down and spoke—pleading, apologizing, bargaining for another chance. It was always the same with him: empty promises and hollow remorse. Apologies that held no weight. Enanon's lip curled in disdain. The human's words were a mockery of self-preservation, nothing more. As the fool rambled on, trying to justify his own recklessness, Enanon's irritation deepened and yet he remained impassive, masking his contempt. But then something shifted. The human's tone cracked, and his excuses dissolved into genuine distress. The bravado faded, leaving only fear. His voice trembled, his blue eyes clouding with panic.
The human admitted he was terrified.
Enanon harbored nothing but disdain for this thief—this stain on his path, but Enanon was not a heartless being. Despite himself, Enanon felt a flicker of pity. Annoying as he was, the human's fear wasn't baseless. For as much as this situation burdened Enanon, it also weighed on the thief. Maria's mistakes were inexcusable, but his terror was not without reason. Against his will, he recognized that. So, he spoke, his voice cold and measured.
"It's futile to dwell on what has already happened. We shall go out and replenish our energy with a meal."
The meal passed quietly. The human, for once, tried to eat with some dignity, though his hunger made him fail. This time, Enanon let it go. There were bigger problems to worry about.
Afterward, they returned to their room. The human, exhausted, fell asleep almost immediately. Enanon found himself observing him, much as he had the previous night when he'd carried the fool in his arms.
His human. The human he was bound to protect. A filthy, worthless thief. A reckless fool who, despite everything, was just as unprepared for this predicament as Enanon himself.
Enanon sighed, turning his gaze back to the window. The adventurers Maria had offended hadn't followed them—small blessings. He stared at the stars for a long moment before retiring to bed. The room had two small beds, one of which was far too cramped for his true form, so he kept himself in his smaller shape.
He drifted into a dreamless slumber, his disdain for the human still fresh, but tempered, just slightly, by the weight of their shared burden.
___________
Maria wakes up. The room is bright and he can feel a light breeze from the open window. He can feel that he woke up late. The sensation of oversleeping weighs on his body and the atmosphere just screams he had overslept.
As his mind shakes the last of sleep away, he remembers what happened yesterday. Right... Maria had fallen asleep first thing after getting back to their room after dinner. The exhaustion of the day finally caught up to him. The tense air between the two of them had dispersed a bit after Maria's apology and Enanon's unexpected display of sympathy.
Maria is still taken aback by the strange display of sympathy from Enanon the night before. He glances to the side and sees Enanon meticulously grooming his fur on the second bed. Trying to start the morning on a positive note, Maria sits up and attempts a greeting.
"Morning, Enanon."
A few beats pass in silence as Enanon continues his routine. Then, Enanon speaks.
"I should have anticipated that you would rise at such a disgracefully late hour. What are you doing, merely sitting there? You look dreadful. If you are awake, then at least make an effort to present yourself."
Right, of course he just hallucinated Enanon's sympathy last night.
Dragging his groggy body to the bathroom, his limbs heavy from oversleeping, he focuses only on one thing: relieving himself. Without much thought, he pulls down his pants and begins to pee.
Warm urine trickles down his thighs, soaking into his pants. The shock slams into him like a wave, shaking off all remnants of drowsiness.
"FUCKING SHIT!"
His scream reverberates off the bathroom walls. He's pissed himself. Honest to god, pissed himself. He hasn't done that since he was a kid! How could he have forgotten? He didn't have his dick anymore! He had a woman's v-vagina now... He had just done everything out of instinct, forgetting that he's supposed to crouch now.
And here he stands, pants utterly soaked.
Yesterday, he hadn't slipped up because everything was still fresh in his mind.
"Shit! Shit! Shit!" he mutters, mortified beyond belief. He scrambles to figure out what to do, but there's no way to erase the mess. He has no spare clothes! He drags a hand across his face, groaning.
Enanon is definitely going to have a field day making fun of him now.
Outbof nowhere, the memory of last night returns to him—his near-breakdown in front of Enanon, the panic that spilled out. Embarrassment hits him all over again. Why had he let himself get so vulnerable? He wasn't trying to open up like that! He mentally cringes, replaying the scene. Why did he say all that? He presses his hands to his face, silently screaming into his palms. But right now, he has more pressing issues to solve—like the wet pants sticking to his legs. The problem at hand—or more accurately, at leg.
Looking around the bathroom, he finds no towels, no change of clothes—nothing. The only thing he has is the robe Enanon had given him, but it's back on the bedside table, which means stepping out into Enanon's line of sight.
"Perfect," he mutters, resignation settling in.
He washes his pants as best he can and wrings the water out, tying to make it dry and as presentable as possible. Then he washes himself before sliding back into his pants. Despite his earlier efforts, it still clings to his legs uncomfortably. Talk about obvious. Maria grimaces but he steels himself.
Determined to be discreet, Maria swings open the bathroom door and walks as inconspicuously as possible to grab the robe. He avoids looking at Enanon, grabs the robe, and heads back to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Leaning against the door, he exhales a shaky breath, muttering one final curse. He braces himself for whatever humiliation Enanon will unleash when he comes out later.
As expected, Enanon doesn't miss a beat when he reemerges. But at least Maria was mentally prepared for the embarrassment—if only by an inch.
The rest of the day passes in uneasy quiet. After the mess Maria stirred up, they keep a low profile, venturing outside only for meals. Maria muses bitterly that it feels like house arrest—Enanon being his ever-watchful jailer.
Throughout the day, Enanon's sharp tongue doesn't rest but Maria notices a difference—Enanon's words, while still biting, lack the full venom they carried before. The insults feel less cruel, more measured, though no less frustrating.
The day concludes without much fanfare, just more of the same routine.
And so it went, for the days that followed.
They barely left the inn, save for brief excursions every few days to gather supplies. During those outings, Maria kept a cautious eye out, searching for any sign of the adventurers he'd run afoul of. But he saw nothing—no sign of Baldy or the others. Enanon, ever the disciplinarian, forbade him from going anywhere near the adventurer's guild. Maria couldn't argue with the logic—it wasn't worth the risk to satisfy his guilt.
And so, the guilt-ridden thief could only try his best to settle his frayed nerves and move on, uncertain of whether Baldy still lived or not.
And for the following days, this was the routine.