I was a murderer.
It doesn't bother me. You probably disgust me but after knowing my past, what all has been done to me, what all I have done, I don't know. I didn't justify it, to anyone or to myself, cuz lying to myself for some ease from any guilt wasn't my thing. I wasn't guilty anyway, I just know it for a fact that I'm a murderer. Yeah, I have killed people, big deal, people die anyway so changing the reason doesn't change anything.
I was back to my demeanor, my face back to as it always is, the moment he mentioned he knew my past, because in that moment him knowing my past, to what extent he knows and how, was much more of a priority than knowing who he was and what he was up to.
"I want you to play a game" he said, handing me a Joker card. I didn't take it.
"Who are you, the police? A detective" I said, almost threatening, "I won't take anything till I know what's going on and-" I closed in on him, even to his towering height, and with eyes wide and intimidating, piercing into his, said gravely, "How much you know about my past."
I made sure the murderer was visible in my eyes.
But he stared right back, and then he scoffed and stepped back, shaking his head; he seemed amused at me.
There was something intriguing about him. If he really did know about my past, what all I had done, he should be afraid, cautious, but he didn't seem to take it seriously, like I was a regular guy. Either he didn't know about my past... Or he was a monster himself.
"Hah, ok ok" he said through his snickers "I will tell you everything, but not here" and handing me the card again, taking my hand and putting the card in it, said, "My number is on the back of it... If you wanna know, call me" and then he smiled, an eerie smile. If I was a normal person I would have probably have been trembling, because his presence, the pressure that you feel, the suffocating darkness. But I was pitch black myself, all I felt was concern.
And before I could say anything he turned around and walked through the door. "Hey wait!" I said and followed but he was gone. I just stood there in front of the shop's open gate, looking around in concern.
It was not something I can just say "Meh, fuck it" and leave like i do with everything else, for the first time in years I was concerned about something, seriously. HOW MUCH DID HE KNOW? AND HOW?
I saw Kachiji arriving from a distance and walked in, and turned the card around to its behind. But there was no number, rather there was written
KISS DAISY
"What the fuck?" I said out, looking at it with wide eyes of utter disbelief.
19/12, 12:34 am, The Karma game, level 0, begins.