Here's a more sophisticated version of your chapter with improved grammar:
What Jiang Yifeng couldn't comprehend was why he had never heard of an immortal cultivator before. And why, of all things, did the cultivator in black attack the Jiang family?
Lowering his head, Jiang Yifeng muttered to himself, "It seems I must find a way to better understand this world."
He couldn't allow himself to die inexplicably again.
Before, there had been no imminent threats. He could spend his days listening to music in brothels without concern. But now that he had a glimpse of the dangers lurking in the future, Jiang Yifeng realized that he needed to change.
Suddenly, an idea struck him. Could it be that his father had known something for years? He remembered how, in the twelfth year of the simulation, his father had begun acting strangely.
Jotting down the clue, Jiang Yifeng continued to reflect. His eyes then drifted to the simulation rewards. His heart sank. The options were far from impressive.
"Three-minute enthusiasm (talent) is absolutely useless," he muttered under his breath. "As for the experiences of listening to music in brothels (for about 13 years) or practicing martial arts (for just 8 and a half hours)—completely worthless."
The simulator seemed to be mocking him with such a paltry reward.
Shaking his head, Jiang Yifeng reluctantly selected the martial arts experience.
[Ding, martial arts experience (8 and a half hours) gained. 0 energy value consumed. Remaining energy value: 0.]
With the rewards from the first simulation settled, Jiang Yifeng felt no real change.
He considered starting another simulation, his thoughts racing.
"I really need to simulate again. Regardless of the rewards, I must at least understand the truth about this world, especially the immortals. Only then can I protect myself—and my family."
Determined, Jiang Yifeng began exchanging items in his room for energy.
"A silver ingot detected. Successfully absorbed. Gained 10 energy points."
"A gold ring detected. Successfully absorbed. Gained 50 energy points."
"A night-light pearl detected. Successfully absorbed. Gained 200 energy points."
This time, he refused to fall for the trivial talents that the system offered him.
With energy collected, Jiang Yifeng steeled himself. He would not let distractions, like brothels, sway his resolve. His focus was clear: uncover the truth about immortals and improve himself.
He said silently, "Start simulation."
[Consumes 1 simulation attempt. Remaining attempts: 1.]
[Host can extract white talent or green talent!]
[Extracting white talent requires no energy. Extracting green talent costs 1000 energy points. Do you wish to proceed?]
"1000 energy? That's nothing—just the cost of a few ordinary night pearls. Not a big deal." Jiang Yifeng mumbled.
For someone from the Jiang Trading Company, the wealth of the Great You Kingdom's most prestigious business was nothing to worry about.
With that thought, he decided.
"Extract green talent."
[Ding, 1000 energy points deducted. Remaining energy points: 5260. Green talent is being extracted.]
[Congratulations! You have acquired the green talent: Passerby A.]
[Passerby A]: As a passerby, you are always able to overhear news that others don't know. Note: Only applicable to mortals.
Jiang Yifeng's eyes brightened as he read the talent description.
"Now this is more like it!" he thought, relieved. This information-gathering talent came at just the right time, particularly when it came to investigating immortals.
Without hesitation, Jiang Yifeng resumed the simulation.
[Second simulation begins.]
[After the end of the first simulation, you understand that this world is far more complex than you first believed.]
[The urgency to save yourself, to cultivate immortality, consumes you.]
[You suspect that your father, Jiang Fushan, might know something crucial.]
[You rush to ask him about immortal cultivators, but your father simply laughs, telling you to stop reading so many storybooks.]
[You are unsure whether he is hiding something or if he truly doesn't know.]
[With no answers from him, you set out to investigate further.]
[The next day, you search Qingshan City for any news about immortals, but every civilian you speak to only mentions immortals in passing stories, and none seem to know anything concrete.]
[You realize that the immortals they speak of are only myths, not the real immortal cultivators you're seeking.]
[On the third day, you hear that Wu Youdao, the owner of the Wu Family Martial Arts School, has traveled far and wide, and you think perhaps he knows something.]
[You visit the Wu Family Martial Arts School and ask Wu Youdao about immortals, but he responds that immortals are merely characters in storybooks and that he has never encountered one in real life.]
[However, Wu Youdao also claims that martial arts, when practiced to their peak, can allow one to split mountains and shake the earth. He offers to teach you for 1,000 taels of silver for a year's tuition.]
[Inspired by his words, you begin to wonder if martial arts masters might have powers that resemble immortality—perhaps they can fly, hide underground, or unleash sword energy that can kill from a distance.]
[You ask Wu Youdao to demonstrate his abilities. If he can do so, you will pay him 10,000 taels of gold for a year's tuition.]
[Wu Youdao, clearly offended, angrily kicks you out.]
[On the fourth day, you continue your search but find no answers.]
[On the fifth day, your Passerby A talent is triggered.]
[As you walk along the west side of the city, you overhear a conversation about butcher Wang's affair with widow Liu from the east side of town.]
[You realize the voice belongs to Aunt Li, who sells tofu in the east.]
[Shocked by the strange reach of your talent, you reflect on the fact that this information is not useful to your quest. But you also understand this is just the nature of the talent—random news overheard from elsewhere.]
Sighing, Jiang Yifeng thought to himself, "Well, at least I'm learning how this talent works. Though, it's not exactly what I wanted."
Sure! Here's an expansion of the scene based on your request, keeping all the key points and deepening the narrative:
[You shook your head. Unfortunately, this kind of gossip is not what you want, so you automatically ignore it.]
[The sixth day, inquiring for information, but to no avail.]
[A year has passed. You have questioned more than half of the people in Qingshan City, young and old, but you have not obtained any useful information about the immortal cultivators.]
[On the contrary, because of Passerby A (Talent), you know a lot of the various family affairs in Qingshan City.]
[In the same year, your obsession with searching for immortals was also known to everyone. People have been saying that the young master of Jiang's Business, that is, you, has gone crazy.]
[After your father Jiang Fushan knew about your situation, he also advised you many times to read less novels and stop searching for immortal cultivators.]
[You could not reveal the existence of the simulator, nor could you explain the reason for searching for immortal cultivators, so you could only nod your head.]
[But you did not give up the matter of inquiring for information, but you did it in a much more concealed way.]
[In the second year, you felt that your personal power was limited, so you spent a lot of money to hire a group of people to help you secretly find news about the immortal cultivators.]
[In the blink of an eye, half a year has passed. You feel that Qingshan City has been explored almost completely and you can't get any useful information. Maybe you can go to a farther place to find information.]
[So you took four guards and a lot of money and left Qingshan City.]
[Two months later, you encountered mountain bandits. Four guards died in the battle, and all the money was robbed.]
[Fortunately, you revealed your identity in time and said that you could exchange more money for your life. You saved your life temporarily.]
[A month later, you were redeemed by your father Jiang Fushan with a lot of money and returned to Qingshan City again.]
Jiang Yifeng frowned as he read the details. "Mountain bandits?" he muttered to himself. "I didn't expect to encounter danger just two months after leaving Qingshan City. I've been so carefree these years, thinking the outside world is a simple place."
He shook his head in frustration, reminding himself, I need to be more cautious from now on.
[After returning to Qingshan City, you felt that you were not well prepared before, so you started to spend a lot of money to hire guards who knew some martial arts.]
[In the third year, you regrouped and left Qingshan City again.]
[This time you brought dozens of guards, all of whom were martial artists.]
[Under your financial offensive, the owner Wu also became your guard leader.]
[This year, you passed through several cities of different sizes, but still failed to find out about the news of cultivating immortals.]
[In the fourth year, you encountered bandits twice, but under the protection of Wu Youdao and others, you were safe and sound.]
[This made you realize that martial arts may not be as useless as you thought.]
[Especially Wu Youdao, who is really good at it. Dozens of bandits are no match for him.]
[One day in the fifth year, your Passerby A (Talent) was triggered, and you vaguely heard someone saying that there was something unusual in the Changqing Mountains, and it was suspected that there were immortals living there.]
[Although you didn't know whether this news was true or not, you were very excited.]
[After all, this is the news you got by triggering your talent, and you think it is very likely to be true.]
[So, you and your people immediately headed towards the Changqing Mountains.]
[In the sixth year, you have been in the Changqing Mountains for more than a year.]
[But this place is too big, let alone immortal cultivators, you have not even seen anyone other than you.]
[In the seventh year, you are still searching for news about immortal cultivators in the Changqing Mountains, but to no avail.]
[In the eighth year, you saw a small Taoist temple in the Changqing Mountains from afar.]
[Just as you were about to lead your people to the temple, you heard a cold shout from behind: "Those who seek immortals privately will die!"]
[You turned your head subconsciously and saw a man in black riding a sword.]
[Without saying a word, the man in black slashed at you with a sword.]
[Seeing this, Wu Youdao on the side wanted to rescue you.]
[Unfortunately, it was useless.]
[You died at the age of 28!]
[This simulation ends.]
[You can choose one reward for this simulation: Passerby A (Talent), Tianxuan Temple Coordinates (Map)]
[Passerby A (Talent)]: Price 1000 Energy Values
[Tianxuan Temple Coordinates (Map)]: Price 10000 Energy Values; Coordinates map of a small Taoist temple in the Changqing Mountains.
Jiang Yifeng stared at the simulation panel in a daze. His mind raced with questions. What's going on? Why is there another man in black? he wondered. It's not just one person; the first time the man in black used his palm, this time he used a sword. And that chilling sentence... "Those who seek immortals privately will die."
Jiang Yifeng slowly connected the dots. The man in black was after me—because I was looking for immortals.
As he mulled over the events, a sudden clarity struck him. The immortals—who seemed so elusive—were actively preventing anyone from seeking them out. No wonder I couldn't find any useful information. His heart grew heavier as he thought about the consequences for those who pursued knowledge of the immortals.
The immortals are silencing anyone who knows too much, he concluded grimly.
Despite this, Jiang Yifeng's resolve only deepened. I can't stop. I can't stop looking for them. If I give up now, what would I do when the immortal cultivator comes after my family 13 years from now? How would I have the strength to protect them?
He glanced at the rewards. Passerby A (Talent)... or Tianxuan Temple Coordinates? His mind raced with possibilities. Passerby A might be helpful, but relying on gossip feels unreliable. The map could lead me straight to the Taoist temple I saw in the simulation. That place is undoubtedly connected to immortals. If I miss this opportunity, I might not find it again.
His decision was made. I choose the Tianxuan Temple Coordinates.
But then, a cold voice sounded in his mind. Ding, it is detected that the host's energy value is insufficient. Please exchange the energy value in time. The simulation reward can be retained until the next simulation begins.
Jiang Yifeng sighed, realizing he had failed to keep track of his energy value. Just energy value, he thought with a wry smile. It's always something. Without hesitation, he exchanged all the unnecessary items in his room to make up for the deficit..