ACHOOO!
THUD!
SPLOOSH
"Lady Endori, are you okay?! I've never heard you sneeze like that before."
"Sniff, I assure you that I am fine, Serine. Pardon me for such a nasty sneeze; I see that you are particularly cautious about such matters. A handkerchief would suffice…"
The orchid-gradient sky of dusk blankets the Achan family's courtyard. Lady Endori and Serine, after being interrupted from their stargazing and gardening respectively, are taken by surprise due to Endori's sudden sneeze. Serine pats her chest as she breathes a sigh of relief.
"Phew. I'll make arrangements for your signature handkerchief."
"Man, my back is killing me, but it feels good to finally be out of that hellhole."
"?!!!"
Upon hearing a familiar voice, Endori and Serine turn around to look at its source of origin.
"It can't be! Is it really…?"
A man in a soiled purple cloak arises from the fountain. He takes a step out of the fountain, creating puddles with his drenched clothes. Alongside him a demi-human girl, slightly shivering from the cold, steps out.
Endori's eyes fill up with life–no longer able to contain her excitement, she calls out to him from the top of her lungs.
"VEX!"
After about fifteen minutes of prep time, Lily and I were finally permitted to enter the great hall to have a formal discussion with Endori. The maids were really stingy about us not entering the palace with wet clothes, so we were forced to stand still in the courtyard while a maid dried us off with her breath. It's no wonder why she wears a mask that covers her mouth, else she'd bake everyone in her vicinity simply by exhaling.
Endori pestered us with a barrage of questions, especially ones targeting me. I decided that it'd be easier to explain everything that happened, barring certain details of course.
"Eh?! So there really is a sentient civilization inside my body?"
"I couldn't make it up if I tried."
"It's true, Lily knows it's true! Drip said that anyone can come and visit anytime. He's very kind and cool."
"Drip?"
"He's just one of the many sentient cells in your body. I wouldn't think too hard about it."
"Ah, I will keep that in mind, I think. So all of the people who disappeared mysteriously…were inside me this whole time?"
Endori closes her eyes as she attempts to process this information. Her cheeks turn a bit red as her hair, most likely out of embarrassment. I too would be embarrassed to find out people were lurking inside of me and I was ignorant of it. That kind of thing changes your worldview, at least to a degree.
"I see. This lines up with what my mothers said their dream was like…"
"I can assure you that it wasn't a dream."
"But how did you all end up transporting inside my body? Is there some sort of activation clause?"
"I'm not 100% sure, but my theory is that it's due to your body fluids. The common denominator among all of us was that we were directly exposed to such fluids. Lily and I were sneezed on by you, which was how we were transported. Now that I think about it, Serine was also about to get sneezed on, but evacuated at the last second…"
That's right, Serine and Lily were in range of Endori's sneeze, but Serine threw Lily into the air, forcing me to catch her and receive the sneeze on her behalf. It's almost as if she knew what would happen.
"W-what are you implying? Of course I would avoid a brutal, disgusting sneeze. Who wouldn't?"
Serine stutters nervously as she tries to convince us to buy what she's selling–it's not working. Endori, myself, and even Lily gave her a deadpan stare.
"Serine, is there something you need to tell me? Please tell us the truth–all of it."
Looking defeated, Serine exhales and gives in to the pressure.
"Very well, I will explain everything I know. I was sick of the constant abuse from Lord Olan towards my best friend, Lady Endori and his 59 concubines. None of us liked it, but we were powerless to stop him. I could not suppress my pent-up desire for vengeance, so I poured a bottle of a mixture of my and Lady Endori's drool on him during his sleep, and to my surprise, he vanished. "
"Putting aside the fact that you thought to do something like that, how did you know that it wasn't your spit that caused his disappearance?"
I couldn't let her off the hook with that one, so I had to interject.
"Because that was my first time using Lady Endori's saliva, but not my first time…well, you know."
I don't want to know. By the look on Endori's face, I don't think she wanted us to know that either.
"I'll have you know that I do not drool in my sleep!"
"You totally do, milady. I just collect it and clean up the excess before you wake up."
Serine stated that in such a matter-of-fact way, as if that's common knowledge, only causing Endori to get increasingly flustered. What a freakshow…
"Ehh?! Why would you…how would you...?!"
"It's related to my curse."
Yeah, I highly doubt that.
"Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I had no idea where Lord Olan disappeared to, or if he were still alive even, but as a precaution, I made sure to avoid making direct contact with Endori's saliva and other body fluids."
"Ah, so that's why you have been extra squeamish around me lately. Why didn't you tell me sooner? I could have prevented all of the others from disappearing along with my father."
"Well, I was kind of hoping that things would resolve on their own, without it being linked to me. For all I knew, Lord Olan could have reappeared at any moment, and would have had me exiled upon learning what I did. But then more people vanished, and rumors started spreading, so I kept quiet in hopes that it would eventually die down. Yeah, I may have also experimented on a few random commoners who were lurking near the palace, but at least we can put this behind us now."
"..."
Serine chuckles nervously as the rest of us stare in awkward silence. At the end of the day, I couldn't care less about this supposed "mystery" anymore. I only cared about one thing from the beginning.
"So Endori, about that deal we made…"
"Again? It's Lady Endori to you!"
Endori waves her hand, signaling for Serine to cease her outburst.
"Yes, Vex, I remember our deal. We can discuss the details privately. Please follow me. Serine will stay and watch the demi-human girl."
"Okay?..."
I'm not sure why we need to discuss this elsewhere, but as long as I get my pardon, I'm good.
_______________________________________________________________________
"We are here. Please, go ahead."
Beyond the door, there's a small room that's well-lit by candles and jeweled lights. There are several short bookshelves littered around the room, and there's even a balcony. It gives off an ambience of comfort. If I had this kind of room at my place, I could see myself spending lots of my relaxing time here.
"What is this room?"
"It's just a private chamber–it's nothing to worry about, I assure you. Please, join me on this sofa here; there's room for two."
I wasn't worried, but now I'm wary. Endori pats the empty space of cushion next to her, inviting me to sit. This sofa…actually feels like a dream. My hammock can't even compare! I can't help but let out a sigh of relief; my body needed this.
"Ahhh…."
"I am glad that you seem relieved sitting next to me, hehe."
"You bet I am."
Of course I feel relieved–I'm about to get pardoned and my sore body feels like it's in heaven!
"Excellent! Though concerning my father…"
Ah, so is that what this is about? I never knew the guy personally, but from what I can tell by Endori's memories, he was a massive prick. Not surprising given his looks and the fact that he was a noble. Even so, I can imagine that having your dad go missing and not come back would be a lot of mental stress. With these kinds of serious matters, I need to be careful how I approach it.
I made direct eye contact with her and told her the truth. I omitted some of these details initially, but it's time to come clean.
"Unfortunately, he didn't make it. The parasite we had to fight in your gut…killed him while he was a cell. The remaining survivors, Yami and Reoni, were left behind in the care of Drip and some other cell people we met. If someone from our world could go in and guide them back out, they will be cured of the cell curse."
Though if she expects me to volunteer, she's got another thing coming!
"Thanks, I will be sure to get one of my servants to take care of that when the time comes. But there's something you are mistaken about, Vex. I don't think it's unfortunate that my father died–it's a blessing to us all!"
Endori flashes a bright smile, as if she is relieved of a heavy burden. Right, it makes sense why she would feel that way. I wanted to avoid being too insensitive, but I'm glad that there's no hard feelings there. Besides, none of us outside of the Achan family cared for Lord Olan, so nothing changes for us whether he's dead or alive.
"So I guess that means you are now the leader of the Achan family, huh. I wish you the best of luck with that–now the pardon."
"As per our deal, you and the demi-human girl are free from all criminal charges, and your record will be cleared."
"Awesome, that's all I needed to know."
It was difficult, but I forced myself off the sofa and headed towards the door. I turn the handle several times–it won't budge.
"Endori, why is the door locked?"
I turned around to look at Endori, but she was directly behind me! How did she move so fast?!
"Vex, my father is gone. That means that I'm finally free! I can't hold my feelings back any longer!"
Her once calm breathing has turned into heavy breaths, almost as if she were panting like an animal. Her tongue is even sticking out!
"Vex, I like you–no, I love you. I really love you! It's fate that we've crossed paths, and that we fell in love at first sight!"
"We?!"
Her crimson eyes look more like hearts you'd see due to the influence of a love potion, but this is genuine. Crap, I just remembered that Endori has an unhealthy obsession with me!
"Vex, marry me!"
"Hard pass."
"Why not?! There's no need to deny fate. You were literally inside my body, so you must take responsibility, right?!"
"What kind of twisted logic is that? I didn't even consent to that experience! Now unlock this door and let me out of here!"
Endori steadily inches closer and closer to me, forcing my back against the wall. I'm nothing more than helpless prey against a hungry predator.
"That's fine, we can postpone our marriage until after some romantic dates! I know, I can adventure with you and the demi-human girl. We can even raise her as our child to practice for the real thing!"
"I roll solo, and I'm not interested in romance!"
I don't think I can reason with her at this point; she doesn't see me anymore, but rather her perverted imagination of me. I've gotta get out of here before things get messy…
I look around for an alternative way outside. The balcony is open, but we are on the 4th floor.
Looks like I have no other choice. I put my hand on Endori's shoulder and whispered into her ear.
"Endori, do you think I will escape?"