"…It was a humbling experience." I'm on the phone right now. Talking to my one and only best friend, Makoto.
"Man, why can't my field trips be that fun." His voice filled with sorrow.
"It's not 'field trip', dumbass, it's 'fieldwork!'" I corrected him. We are currently college students living our best college lives. Or at least, I am. Right now, I am on Yakushima for my biology class project alongside my professor and a few of my classmates.
Prof. Dr. Tajima, an active biologist who is also my college professor. We are given a project where we must head to a few select conservation site in Japan and write about the wildlife there. Some of us, including me, chose Yakushima as that is where the professor is currently doing his own project.
I was ecstatic, given how much I dreamt of being a biologist on the field. After day 1, as soon as I returned to the hotel, I called Makoto, and shared to him all my experiences thus far. He is currently studying physical education for his dream of one day becoming a P.E. teacher. He had always been a sports buff. "What's the difference. It's still way more exciting than mine."
Aw, he's sulking again. He always does this. I don't know if he knows or not, but it always tugs at my heartstring whenever I hear that sad voice of him.
"…Hey listen, when I'm back next week, why don't we go on a small vacation? Your choice. Really?!" "Really?!" "Jinx!" I called it.
"Hey! You're such a jackass." Aw he's sulking again. "I'm just kidding, we'll go, we'll go."
"Promise?" "Promise"
"Alright! I'm holding you on to that!" He's so stupid.
"So, what's up on your end?" I asked him.
"Oh, nothing special." "Aight, see y-" "But if you insist!" I knew it.
So we talked for the rest of the night. Apparently, he joined a non-profit organization that helps stray cats and dogs find a better home. I was so proud of him. Until he said he joined cause a beautiful upperclassman approached him about it. I know that he's joking, but still. Oh, Makoto, never change.
The next few days we trekked through the island. I got to explore deep into the forest, meeting animals and plants I've never seen firsthand, and going to the Yakusugi cedar museum. But the highlight must be the last day, at the turtle spawning ground. Luckily, it was that time of the year, so we get to witness the turtles hatch and rush to the sea.
Throughout all of that, I can feel it again. The feeling of someone, staring at you. I'm pretty numb to it, considering how much I feel it, whatever it is, watching me everytime I go to a forest.
Last day, back in the hotel, our professor told us to pack our bags and properly prepare our papers once we're back to mainland. The deadline would be next week. Before we left, I asked my professor if it would be okay for me to shadow him on his projects on the field. I told him about my interest as a field biologist. It seems like my passion got through to him, as he told me to get back to him once I turn in my papers.
I was ecstatic. I couldn't wait to tell him all about it. So as soon as the plane landed, I quickly called him.
*Beep*
*Beep*
*Beep*
*Click*
"Hell-" "Makoto!" I screamed at the phone.
"Shit, dude, why'd you do that?!" Oops, "Damn, that hurt."
I apologized to him. He forgave me, and followed it up, saying:
"Listen, I don't have time to talk right now. I'm looking for a stray cat I've been taking care of. He's not on the usual spot where I'd find him and I'm worried. Anyways, glad you're back safe and sound, Aki, and to be honest, we should probably catch up later, face to face. I've had enough of holding a phone for a while."
Classic Makoto, never once liked the idea of technology. I need to make sure he gets used to it, otherwise the future is going to be hell for him.
"Aight, sure. I also prefer face to face conversations anyway. Hope you find that little buddy of yours, dude! Catch ya later!"
We said our goodbyes and I went back to my apartment. Gotta start writing those papers. Prof. said "next week" but really, Monday is only three days away. Shucks. I don't really like writing. Why can't we type our papers instead anyway.
Monday rolls around, I turned in my papers, caught up to Prof. Tajima, and asked him about my proposal last week. I reiterated that he doesn't need to grade me or anything. I only want to see how a professional biologist work.
"Alright, Mr. Makiyama. You can shadow me. Next week on Monday I will be leaving for Nagano. I'm going across the prefecture's national parks to observe the activities of the serows. It will be a lengthy journey. Are you still up for it?"
"Of course, professor! I'm ready!" I exclaimed, with visible determination. "Good, but let me be clear: you are not to abandon your other classes. If there are assignments, I expect you will complete them, does not matter if you received it during our trip. Do you understand?"
I do. And I'm up for this challenge. Bring it on, college!
But before that, gotta meet up with that musclebrain and go through with my promise. I wonder where he wants to go. Later that day, I went to his apartment. Knocking on the doors, calling his name, there were no answers. 'Fuck it, I'll call him' at that moment.
*Beep*
An unknown number.
*Beep*
*Click*
"Hello?" I answered. "…Akito?"
…Makoto's… mom?...
"Akito… Makoto… He's…"
.
.
.
"Shoot! Hey, buddy, can I ask?"
"Dude, I understoon nothin'! You gotta teach me!"
"Holy-! Your lunch looks so good, dude…. Hey… Wanna share?"
"Dude, Aki! I got us tickets to the aquarium show! …Of course 'us'! Don't you like animals too?!"
"Boo! Whoa! …Ha, haha, hahaha! Dude you look hilarious! Hahaha! Damn, I gotta be the first guy to ruin your pretty face, huh, Your Majesty?! Pfft!"
"Huh? What do you mean 'thanks'? We're friends, aren't we?! It's what friends do! …Okay, okay, geez! You're welcome, dumbass."
"No matter what, no matter where, when, or how… I will always be your friend. You got that, little shit?"
"…Heh, love ya too, bud."
.
.
.
Thoughts of him swirls around in my mind, as if having no place to go. No place to return to.
"Dude, why you cryin'? It's just a dumb movie about a whale, jeez."
'Says you, dumbass.' But I can't say that to his face, now. He's not even crying. Heh, look at him. Making all of us sad, while he's there looking all peaceful.
'…Fuck, I hate this.' I thought, as I rubbed my eyes.
"Excuse me?"
I look to where the voice came from. It's a woman I've never seen before. She looks rather beautiful.
"Are you perhaps, Mr. Makiyama?" How does she know my name?
"Do I know you?" I asked her back.
"Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Shizuku Okubo, um, Makoto talks a lot about you at our organization."
Oh. She's the "beautiful upperclassman" that invited Makoto to the non-profit.
"Can I help you?" Crap, that sounded rude. "Sorry, I mean-"
"Ah, no, it's okay! I understand. This…day, must be rough on you. I'm so sorry." She reassured me.
It's rough on all of us, not just me.
"…You're right, it is hard on all of us," Shi-, fu-
"but it must've been especially hard for you, Mr. Makiyama."
I gave her an incredulous look, to which she replied with a sympathetic smile "Makoto talks a lot about you..." I looked away from her, towards the casket. 'Damn you, asshat,' I thought to myself, resigning the fact that he got the last laugh.
When I looked back at her she was grinning, no doubt she saw flush on my face.
"You can call me Akito, if you would." I said to her. She's supposed to be older than me and Makoto anyways.
"Right, Akito. Actually, before his death, he asked me to make you both a friendship bracelet." She revealed. 'Friendship…bracelet?"
She must've seen my confused face, as she immediately follows it up with "Oh! Makoto saw me gave some members embroideries like dreamcatchers and other handycraft works like scarfs, so he asked me how much do I pay for commissions, but you see I like arts and crafts, so I do these for free, usually to friends and people I like, he hesitated at first but finally asked me to make a pair of friendship bracelets with the words '秋誠, or Autumn Sincerity' on it, so I gladly took it and- *gasp!*"
The look on my face with my mouth agape must've shocked her. I mean, can you blame me? She started speaking in rap!
"I'm so, so sorry! I always get like this whenever I talk about my hobby…" She looks embarrassed, so I reassured her.
"I-it's okay! I think it's cool to have such a passion for the things you like!" Now she looks grateful. "A-anyway! You were talking about a friendship bracelet?"
"Ah, yes! The thing is, I was supposed to give these to him on the day he passed," she reached into her pocket, revealing a pair of bracelets made out of knotted threads, with the words 'Autumn Sincerity' strewn on the center, the first word of my name (Aki) and his name (Makoto). I took it from her as she continued, "but I forgot to. So I thought 'why not give these to one of the people who were supposed to receive it?' So, here we are."
Ah. Man, I can feel the waterworks flowing again. Always when you thought you dried them up, they come around again just to spite you.
"Aki-" "Can I ask you something?" I cut her off. She must've saw the tears streaming down my face.
"…Of course, anything." She affirmed. So I continued, "Can you tell me, how he died?"
Up until this point, that question never flew into my head. It wasn't important; it's not important now. The important thing is that I lost it gain. Another part of my soul. Another one that I love. But still. I want to know.
"I know what killed him. I know that much," I said, more to myself than her, "but how? Why? Please, tell me," throughout all this, I kept ny head low. My eyes, still staring at the now wet friendship bracelets.
A few moments of silence, before she spoke
"I…wasn't there when it happened,"
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