Chapter 8
[AP: 28]
[Strength: 20]
[Agility: 20]
[Stamina: 20]
[Intelligence: 0]
[Charm: 7]
Other than my charm that had naturally grown, my other stats couldn't be raised naturally it seemed. I had twenty-eight stat points so I decided to invest ten in the intelligence stat for the time being.
[Would you like to invest in 'Intelligence stat'?]
[This process is irreversible]
[Once initiated, the process of awakening would render the useless immobile for some designated time]
As much as I was hesitant, I decided to do it anyway. I had to do it sometime. It was risky with so many people in the house but I couldn't delay this any further either.
'Yes.' I didn't know how much time it would take but I hoped it wouldn't take more than an hour or two at most because that's how long naps generally were.
[Awakening has been commenced]
[Goodnight to the user]
I felt sleepy for some reason and before I knew it, I was asleep.
~~
"It's a boy!" A woman exclaimed happily as she looked at me. Of course, I was a boy. Why wouldn't I be?
But for some reason, I couldn't speak. I tried and tried and all I could do was raise my hands after some time and as I did, I saw tiny, tiny fingers.
They weren't my hands but they were my hands at the same time.
They felt foreign yet familiar at the same time.
The scene itself felt like that. The woman who held me and picked me up, the way she looked at me like a mother would, the love in her eyes.
Everything felt so real.
So, so real that I couldn't tell if it was a dream or not, even when I knew it was a dream.
"I name him, Rox Everheim," A man with a condescending tone said.
I looked at him and I didn't like him one bit.
But before I could do anything else, the scene changed.
"Stand up! How can you call yourself a member of the Everheim family with just this much prowess?!" A man in golden armor yelled at me while I felt a sword in my hands.
It felt amazing to hold it yet for some reason, I felt awkward as well. I had never held a sword before but it felt like I had been holding one my entire life.
The scene once again changed and it was body training.
Then it was exercise.
Then it was archery.
Different weapons and different training methods. Different types of martial arts and different types of routines.
It felt like I was learning them while I was well familiar with them at the same time.
It was strange yet not so much at the same time.
My mind was split into two.
One felt like it was living this life for as long as it could remember while the other felt like it was just a dream and it would end any time now and everything would be back to normal as it was.
"Haaa… Haaa…" The body I was in was sighing heavily. It was me sighing but I wasn't tired at the same time.
"You're amazing, young master Rox. To defeat a dragon at such a young age. You will definitely be the next king," A young woman said with a blush and pure admiration on her face.
I didn't know who she was but I didn't feel anything for her. She was beautiful yet I didn't feel anything for her.
No, not me, he, Rox, didn't feel anything for her. He didn't feel anything.
He couldn't feel anything.
All his emotions were dead.
His life was empty.
There was no purpose.
There was nothing to live or die for.
What kind of life was this?
"Right?" I heard the emotionless voice of a man, a voice I was well familiar with after all those experiences.
I turned to look at Rox, the young and handsome man who had a cold emotionless expression on his face.
"What kind of life have I lived?" He asked, his smooth British accent coupled with the olden type of accent, he sounded strangely ethereal for some reason.
"Meaningless," I replied. I didn't know why I said that. I didn't even know how I said that. It was as if my mouth ran on its own, answering Rox.
"Haha." He chuckled which sounded very strange given how cold and empty it was.
He looked at me and said, "And what do you think of yours by comparison?"
I envied many in my life. All I had was wealth. My looks were nowhere near worth dying. I could be even called the perfect impersonation of the word average.
All I had was my wealth. My wealth granted me all the attention I got. I might act like it was a hassle but deep down, I liked it. I acted differently but I was actually happy for all the attention I was getting.
But this guy.
This guy was the sole definition of talented. He was amazing in everything. Talent, looks, and everything else of his was amazing and he utilized it to its full extent.
For the first time in my life, I felt envy over something I never thought I would. It wasn't how handsome he was; it wasn't how perfect he was.
"It's how powerful I was." He completed my sentence for me.
The power to slice through an orc with a single swing. He killed an S class monster at the age of fifteen. When I was jacking off furiously, this guy had killed a monster that could have destroyed an entire nation on its own.
And then he killed a dragon at eighteen. At eighteen, I have just begun my life.
All because he had power and I didn't.
"Well, not everyone has the same starting point." He said before he added, "Besides, it's just my power you envy, don't you?"
Power, yes. His life though, was a different story. There was a reason why I said his life was meaningless.
This guy had no goals in his life. He didn't desire power; it was forced onto him. He didn't desire fame; it was forced onto him. He didn't desire status; it was forced onto him.
His entire life, he didn't hold a single wish.
Not a single goal.
Not a single person to make proud.
"But does that make your life any better?" He asked.
"It does," It did. That I proudly admitted. I didn't get perfect A's because it made me great or anything. It was just that my Mom would smile every time I did so. She never even asked for it.
The mother of Rox, however, pushed him all his life so he wouldn't fall behind others in the race for the throne.
His life was dictated while I was free to carve my own path.
"Is that what you have chosen?" He asked me, something in his hand that just appeared as he asked.
He raised it.
A beating heart.
"The choice was made from the beginning, wasn't it?" I asked. I wasn't given a choice. The name of the system since day one was decided.
"The heart of the lust dragon," He said before he asked, "Will you be able to resist the corruption that comes along with it?"
The dragon of lust. The demon king of that time. The demon king that Rox defeated after a great battle.
That heart was currently beating in Rox's hands. He looked at me and said, "I defeated the dragon of lust, Zekraiah, but at a great cost."
"What did you have to lose?" He had nothing to lose. He was emotionless. Cold and empty.
"And that's what I lost. My nothingness" He said and the scene changed where I saw a scene that sort of terrified me.
I saw Rox having sex. With a deranged expression on his face, he was fucking his own mother. But that wasn't what mostly horrified me.
She was dead.
Her eyes were lifeless.
It wasn't just her. The girl from earlier was there as well. The girl who admired Rox. She was dead and her body was covered in white matter as well.
"This is what the power of the lust dragon did to me." Rox said, "It made me as powerful as everyone wanted. But I lost myself in it too."
"I won't." I resolutely said.
"Are you sure?" He asked. "It is very easy to lose yourself in lust."
"Have you ever loved?" I asked.
"Haha." He laughed before he added, "All my life, the only emotion I knew was lust. Nothing else."
"And that's why you lost." I replied, "I shouldn't be the one to envy you, Rox, you should be the one doing that. Your emotions weren't dead, you killed them. You made yourself like that, not fate or destiny or other bullshit you believed in."
"You think such meaningless things let you succeed in life?" He asked.
"Isn't that what life is about?" I asked before I took a step forward. The dragon heart, the beating heart was now in my hands while he was now standing empty-handed just inches away from me.
"You do have a choice." He said.
I knew what the choice was.
The erasure of the system. If I choose to right now, the system would disappear forever and my life would get back to normal.
But…
Why would I do that?
Desire.
The one thing Rox never had.
The basic characteristic of a man.
I had that.
I wanted everything and this system was my way of getting it. Why would I intentionally give up something so amazing?
"It was a curse to you, Rox," I said as I saw the dragon's heart turn into red particles and enter my mouth, and the same warm feeling I felt when I entered this space flowed through me and my eyes began to feel heavy.
And with the last parting words, I bid Rox goodbye forever, "But to me, this is an opportunity. See you in hell after I've lived my life to.. the… full…est."