The Fairy Tail guild hall was its usual chaotic self—filled with laughter, shouting, and the sound of furniture being smashed for no apparent reason. Tables were overturned, chairs were used as weapons, and food was flying as the guild members engaged in their daily tradition of a good old-fashioned brawl, the sound of laughter mixed with the unmistakable thud of fists hitting flesh. Lucy was trying to mediate, but her efforts were quickly drowned out by the noise.
The doors of guild halls burst open with lot of force, but surprisingly no one paid attention. A young man with shoulder-length black hair streaked with silver stood in the doorway. Adjusting the tattered cape draped over his shoulders, he muttered to himself, "This is what I'm walking into? Well, here goes nothing."
With a sharp inhale, he stepped inside and raised his voice. "HEY! Cut it out!"
The guild froze mid-brawl. A chair that Elfman had been about to throw paused in midair. Natsu had Gray in a headlock, Erza was wielding swords and other members fighting. All eyes turned to the newcomer.
"I'm Arthav," he began, "I've heard a lot about you guys—causing trouble, blowing up stuff, barely avoiding the council's wrath. My kind of people, and I am looking forward to joining your guild."
Before anyone could say anything else, Arthav turned to face the seemingly thin air.
"Alright, alright, let me break it down for you," Arthav said, gesturing to the guild members as though they were on display. "This here is Erza Scarlet—Titania, the Queen of the Fairies, all-around terrifying badass who probably has more swords than most people have friends."
"The one behind the bar is Mirajane Strauss. She's the bartender and a former powerhouse mage who now hides her deadly skills behind a kind smile. Also, the only one here who seems remotely sane."
Arthav moved on. "This guy here is Elfman, the self-proclaimed 'manliest man' you'll ever meet. He's like a human wrecking ball with the subtlety of a dragon in a China shop."
"Gray's the guy who spends half his time stripping an if you are wondering why is never wears clothes, don't. It's a waste of brainpower. You'd think he'd learn by now that fighting in the cold with no shirt isn't exactly the brightest move. But hey, the guy can use ice magic, so he's useful... when he's not freezing everyone around him, that is."
"And over there," Arthav continued, pointing at a pink-haired young man, "is Natsu Dragneel the main male character of the manga, your resident fire-eating lunatic. He's the type of IDIOT to charge into a fight first and figure out why later. Loves fighting, yelling, and destroying things."
"Next to him, we've got Lucy Heartfilia. Rich girl turned runaway wizard. She is a celestial wizard, wannabe author and seems normal to people outsiders. Though, honestly, why do they call her normal? She hangs out with lunatics. Writes the journal and somehow doesn't burn it despite hanging out with Natsu 24/7."
Arthav paused dramatically before glaring at the invisible audience.
"Wait a second. Shouldn't you idiots already know these characters? Why the hell am I introducing them to you? Don't make me do useless things! Respectfully, you are a real idiot author!"
The guild collectively tilted their heads, looking at Arthav in confusion.
Arthav wasn't done. "How many times are you going to edit the first chapter with the help of AI just to get a satisfactory version, huh? Be more creative than this! I can't believe I'm an original character of your making. I'm just here, doing this stupid introduction, because you out there thought it'd be 'funny' or 'quirky.' Newsflash, buddy, this is just wasting time. Get back to the actual plot."
He sighed, shaking his head. "This is embarrassing. So embarrassing that I'm stealing a line from a great character in red and black: 'Well, that's just lazy writing.'"
As Arthav dramatically clapped his hands together, signaling the end of his monologue, the guild members exchanged puzzled glances.
"Alright, folks," Arthav said, stretching his arms. "That's all for now. You're welcome for the intros. Honestly, you'd think I'd get paid for this level of entertainment."
"Who are you even talking to?" Lucy asked, crossing her arms.
Arthav smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know? Anyway, I'm here to join this madhouse. So, where do I sign up? Or do I just punch someone to make it official?"
Natsu grinned, cracking his knuckles. "If you wanna fight, I'm your guy!"
Gray stepped forward, glaring. "I think you mean I'm his guy. I could use a good warm-up."
"Oh, for crying out loud," Arthav muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Is this how you welcome everyone, or is this just special treatment for me?"
Erza stepped forward, silencing everyone with her authoritative aura. "There's no need for violence. If Master Makarov accepts you, then you're one of us."
Makarov, seated on the bar counter with a drink in hand, gave Arthav a scrutinizing look. "You're certainly… unique. But Fairy Tail is a home for all kinds of people. If you truly want to join us, you're welcome here."
Arthav smirked. "That easy, huh? No tests? No trials? Man, either this guild is desperate, or you've got the lowest hiring standards I've ever seen."
Just as the guild began to relax, Arthav turned toward the invisible "audience" again. "So, this is it, huh? The big, dramatic moment where I officially join Fairy Tail. Cue the fireworks. Maybe a little applause? No? Fine. Guess we'll just move on then."
"Okay, seriously," Gray said, waving a hand in front of Arthav's face. "Who are you talking to?"
"You wouldn't get it," Arthav replied smugly.
"Doesn't matter!" Natsu shouted. "Welcome to Fairy Tail, Arthav! Now, let's fight!"
The guild erupted into chaos again as Natsu lunged at Arthav, starting yet another brawl. Arthav dodged with ease, using his gravity magic to send Natsu flying into a table.
"Guess I'm fitting in already," Arthav muttered with a grin.
Makarov sighed, sipping his drink. "Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?"
Lucy shook her head. "This guy's as crazy as the rest of them."
Arthav smirked, dodging another attack. "Crazy? Nah. I'm just special."
The guild roared with laughter, cheers, and shouts as Arthav officially became part of Fairy Tail in the most chaotic way possible.