"I thought I was definitely dead this time," I muttered aloud, still trying to process everything that had just happened.

"This time?" The voice caught me off guard. I turned my head to see a kid with a spiky ponytail, almost like a pineapple. "Shikamaru?" I asked, blinking in disbelief.

"Yeah. You having trouble remembering me? I'll go get the doctor," he said, standing up to leave.

"No, no, it's fine. I'm just a little shaken up. How've you been?" I quickly recovered, trying my best to sound like Naruto, just in case this was real.

"If you say so." There was a moment of silence before he asked again. "So... this time?"

"Oh, you know, just the usual. Life's been crazy, fighting all kinds of strong opponents, and of course, I'm winning... mostly. But Sasuke... yeah, he was different. He nearly killed me. Well, he wanted to kill me, but I somehow made it out," I said, my tone light, but the weight of the words hung in the air.

"You were in pretty bad shape. The nurses couldn't believe you pulled through. They said I should thank God and Lady Tsunade," he replied, his voice softening.

"I should, too," I said quietly, feeling a surge of gratitude. We shared another comfortable silence.

"How is everyone?" I asked, eager to know.

"They'll all recover. Neji and Choji took the worst of it. Kiba needed some treatment, but he'll be fine. I came out mostly unscathed. Neji, though... it was close with him."

I knew exactly what he meant.

"Anyways, I need to check on Choji. I'll catch you later," Shikamaru said, waving as he headed toward the door.

Before he left, I called out, "We didn't fail, Shikamaru."

He stopped, glancing back at me. "What?"

"We failed the mission, sure, but we didn't fail completely. You did your best. You made the right calls. In the end, we all came back. It wasn't perfect, but it was the best outcome we could have hoped for."

His eyes flickered with uncertainty, but I gave him a firm look.

"I should have won... but I lost. Next time, though, I won't let that happen. You've got to lead us well when the time comes, even if it's troublesome," I said, channeling my inner Naruto.

I saw the emotions play across his face: surprise, realization, and then, unexpectedly, humor.

He chuckled. "So much for the tough talk. Get yourself out of here first, then we'll talk missions." He gave me one last look and left the room.

I leaned back, a sigh escaping my lips. Looking down at my bandaged chest, I couldn't help but think about how Sasuke had pierced me with that Chidori. What a jerk.

I closed my eyes, hoping for some rest... maybe even for the afterlife to come and take me away.

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Something was poking my face.

I groggily opened my eyes, expecting to see the usual hospital staff. But instead, I saw... them. No, not just the two people who occupied the room, but them.

106 cm.

I'll admit, they were quite the sight. Still, I really shouldn't have stared.

Suddenly, a light punch to my face snapped me back to reality. "Ow! I'm not some kid you can poke around!" I yelped, instinctively defending myself.

"You brat," the familiar female voice scolded. "I actually thought you'd be gone for good this time."

I flinched, but there was no mistaking who it was. Tsunade.

I quickly closed my eyes and braced for another hit.

"Haha, you were quiet for too long. It's good to see you're back to being your old self." She pulled me into a tight hug, and I awkwardly returned it. Tsunade's hugging me. This is real.

She eventually pulled away and said, "You're alright now. You'll be here another day to rest before you can leave."

"Awesome! Can't wait to get out of here," I said, flashing her a grin.

I turned my attention to the other person in the room, my final teammate—Sakura. No way I was apologizing with a hole in my chest, though.

"Sakura, He was long gone before we even began to fight. He wanted to leave." I said trying to be as gentle and clear with my words. No need to drag it out.

"I see, that's alright." She said as she opened the curtains, "Hey Naruto, next time-" She looked back at me, "Let's try our best together, he's my teammate as well." She finished with a confident smile.

I nodded at her with a smile of my own. We chatted for a little longer before she said she needed to go, but not before letting me know she was training under Tsunade a member of the Sannin.

----------

I got discharged the next day, and as I walked home, a couple of things kept bothering me. First, Sakura seemed way more understanding and calm about Sasuke leaving than I remembered. Second, didn't Jiraiya come to see Naruto after all that, where they had the whole "I'll stay a fool for the rest of my life" monologue? I was so ready for that moment. I even practiced my lines!

These thoughts kept me distracted until I finally reached home. I made a couple of clones to tidy up while I opened the windows to let some air in. It had been a while since I'd been home.

"Cleaning your place, huh? That's the last thing I ever thought I'd see you doing," a loud voice called from behind me.

I instantly recognized the voice. "Ero-Sennin, what are you doing here?" I asked as he casually hopped in through the balcony.

"Hey, can't a teacher come visit his student?" he replied, giving me a sly grin. That made me think—'Why the heck hasn't Kakashi visited me? Is this some kind of alternate universe?'

"Yeah, yeah. What's up, pervert-sensei?" I teased, a smile creeping up.

He yelled about showing respect for your elders, but I wasn't paying too much attention.

"So, how are you holding up? With everything, you know..." Jiraiya began, but I cut him off.

"No need to put it like that. Sasuke made his choice, and I let him. I hesitated, and we both went for one last attack—he used the Chidori, and I went for the Rasengan. I didn't expect him to push it into my chest, though. But that showed me how serious he was. Doesn't mean I'll give up on trying to get him back, though. He made his decision, but I've got dreams of my own. It's just... it's hard, y'know? When your best friend tries to kill you. But what can you do?" I said, the weight of it all starting to sink in again.

There was a moment of silence before I asked, "So, how did you handle Orochimaru?"

He sighed deeply. "I tried, and I keep trying. Still am to this day. But let me tell you, Naruto, it's a fool's job. Orochimaru will be Orochimaru until the end, and chasing after him? I'll just be the fool."

"Hmm... I see. But you know, I can't be Hokage if I can't save a friend. So if giving up on a friend is a sign of genius, then I guess I'll remain a fool for the rest of my life," I said, determination in my voice.

I heard his booming laughter, "Only a colossal fool would make such a statement, get ready for your training fool." He said as he lept away.

"Hey a porn mag!" I heard a excited cheer in the back.

'Man this is really gonna be a drag' I thought as the actual reality settled in, I was Naruto!

--------

I'll have him meet Kakashi next time, there are some big plans for that as well. 

I am gonna make Naruto a proper shinobi in this story! He will also be going on missions and will kill from time to time.