Rina stood in front of Keitaro, tapping her chin with the butt of her staff. "Alright, so… you're a toilet. A talking one. And somehow, I need to get you out of this dungeon."
Keitaro groaned—or at least, his version of a groan. It came out as a faint gurgling noise that echoed from his bowl. "You make it sound so easy. Just so you know, I'm not exactly portable!"
Rina smirked. "Oh, don't worry. I've moved heavier stuff before. Once, I had to haul a treasure chest half my size up a rope ladder. You, my porcelain friend, are nothing."
"Yeah, nothing but dead weight," Keitaro muttered.
Ignoring his sarcasm, Rina began pacing around him, inspecting every inch of his smooth surface. She ran a hand over the runes etched faintly into the stone floor beneath him, murmuring something to herself.
"Uh, Rina?" Keitaro said. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to figure out if you're magically bound to this spot," she replied. "Sometimes enchanted objects can't be moved without triggering traps or curses. If you blow up when I try to carry you, I'm not cleaning up the mess."
Keitaro shuddered. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."
Rina chuckled, kneeling to examine the base of his pedestal. She muttered an incantation, and her staff emitted a faint golden glow. The runes on the floor shimmered briefly, then dimmed.
"Good news!" she said, standing up and brushing dust off her knees. "You're not cursed or anchored. We can move you."
"Great," Keitaro said. "So, what's the bad news?"
"The bad news," Rina said, resting her hands on her hips, "is that you're still a toilet. You're big, heavy, and inconveniently shaped for travel. And this dungeon isn't exactly wheelchair-accessible."
Keitaro sighed. "Terrific. So what's the plan?"
Rina thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers. "I could summon a floating disc! It's a simple spell, and it should hold your weight. I use it all the time to carry loot."
"Wait," Keitaro said, "should? What do you mean should hold my weight?"
Rina waved dismissively. "Relax. I've carried anvils, treasure, and once a whole skeleton on this thing. You'll be fine."
She began chanting, her staff glowing with a soft blue light. A shimmering, translucent disc materialized in front of her, hovering a few inches above the ground.
"Alright, here goes," Rina said. She placed her staff against the wall and crouched beside Keitaro, bracing her hands against his sides. "On the count of three, I'm going to lift. You… uh… do whatever it is toilets do to help."
Keitaro chuckled dryly. "Sure, I'll flex my nonexistent muscles."
"One, two—ugh, you're heavier than you look!" Rina grunted as she strained to tilt him onto the disc.
"Not my fault!" Keitaro protested. "Blame whoever designed toilets!"
After much effort—and a few choice expletives muttered under her breath—Rina managed to maneuver Keitaro onto the floating disc. She wiped sweat from her brow and shot him a victorious grin.
"There! Easy peasy," she said, panting slightly.
"Easy for you to say," Keitaro quipped. "I'm the one who just got manhandled."
Rina laughed, giving the disc a gentle push to test its stability. It wobbled slightly but held firm. "Alright, let's get moving. The exit's a few floors up, but we'll need to be careful. This dungeon isn't exactly friendly."
"Wait, hold on," Keitaro said, his voice tinged with worry. "What kind of 'unfriendly' are we talking about here?"
"Oh, you know," Rina said casually as she picked up her staff. "The usual—traps, monsters, maybe some angry skeletons. Nothing we can't handle."
"Nothing you can't handle," Keitaro corrected. "I'm a toilet. My combat options are… limited."
Rina smirked. "Don't worry, I'll keep you safe. Just try not to roll off the disc, okay?"
As they started down the dungeon corridor, the air grew colder, and the flickering torchlight cast eerie shadows on the walls. Keitaro's nerves were on edge.
"Hey, Rina?" he asked.
"Yeah?"
"What exactly are you doing in this dungeon anyway? You don't seem like the treasure-hunting type."
Rina hesitated for a moment before replying. "Research. This dungeon is supposed to have ancient magical artifacts, and I'm trying to learn more about them. My dream is to become one of the greatest mages in the kingdom, and to do that, I need knowledge."
"Sounds ambitious," Keitaro said.
Rina smiled faintly. "Yeah, well, someone has to do it."
Their conversation was cut short by a sudden noise—a low, guttural growl echoing from deeper within the corridor. Rina immediately went on alert, gripping her staff tightly.
"What was that?" Keitaro whispered.
"Trouble," Rina said, her voice low.
She stepped in front of the floating disc, her green eyes scanning the darkness. The growling grew louder, followed by the sound of claws scraping against stone.
From the shadows emerged a pair of creatures—wolf-like beasts with glowing red eyes and matted fur. Their fangs glistened as they snarled, slowly advancing.
Rina raised her staff, the crystal at its tip flaring to life with a brilliant white light. "Looks like we've got company."
"Fantastic," Keitaro muttered. "My first day in this world, and I'm already in a horror movie."
"Stay back," Rina said. "I'll handle this."
She muttered an incantation, and a gust of wind shot forward, slamming into the wolves and driving them back. They yelped but quickly recovered, circling her cautiously.
Keitaro watched helplessly as the fight unfolded. "Uh, Rina? Not to sound useless, but… is there anything I can do?"
"Just sit tight!" Rina called over her shoulder, dodging a swipe from one of the wolves. "And maybe don't fall off the disc!"
Keitaro sighed. "Great. I'm moral support now."
As Rina faced off against the wolves, Keitaro couldn't help but feel a strange sense of determination. He might be a toilet, but somehow, he'd find a way to contribute—even if it was just flushing away his self-doubt.
The wolves lunged at Rina in unison, their claws gleaming in the dim light. She rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding a swipe that gouged the stone floor. With a flourish of her staff, she unleashed a burst of flame, forcing one wolf to retreat with a yelp.
The other wolf darted in from her blind spot, its fangs glinting as it lunged. Rina turned just in time to block with her staff, but the force of the impact sent her stumbling backward. The creature snapped its jaws, barely missing her face, before she shoved it away with a blast of wind.
Keitaro watched in horror from his precarious perch on the floating disc. "Rina! Behind you!"
The first wolf had recovered and was already leaping at her. Rina twisted around, firing a fireball point-blank. The wolf yelped in pain as it was engulfed in flames, collapsing into a smoldering heap.
Rina barely had time to breathe before the second wolf charged again, its glowing red eyes filled with rage. She raised her staff, but it was too late. The creature swiped with its claws, grazing her arm before she managed to blast it away.
She staggered back, clutching her arm. "Damn it…"
Keitaro noticed the deep gash on her forearm—and the sickly green hue spreading from the wound. "Rina, are you okay?"
She glanced at the wound, her face pale. "Poison," she muttered through gritted teeth.
The remaining wolf growled, circling for another attack. Rina steadied herself, raising her staff with her uninjured arm. "I can handle this," she said, though her voice lacked its usual confidence.
Keitaro's mind raced. This is bad. If that poison spreads…
The wolf charged again, but Rina summoned a final burst of strength, firing an arc of lightning that struck the creature mid-leap. It hit the ground with a thud, twitching before going still.
Rina dropped to her knees, panting heavily. The glow of her staff dimmed, and she clutched her arm as the poison continued to spread.
"Rina!" Keitaro called out.
She shook her head, forcing a weak smile. "I'm fine. Just… give me a minute to cast a cleansing spell."
But as she began to chant, her voice faltered, and she swayed dangerously. The spell fizzled out.
"Rina!" Keitaro shouted again, panic flooding him.
Then, out of nowhere, a strange sensation washed over him. It was like an instinct awakening deep within his porcelain form.
You can cure her.
The knowledge came to him unbidden, as though it had always been there, waiting for the right moment. He didn't understand how he knew—it just felt… right.
"Rina," he said urgently, his voice steady despite the absurdity of what he was about to suggest. "I think I can cure you."
She looked up at him, her vision unfocused. "What are you talking about?"
"I don't know how I know this, but… if you drink water from me, it'll neutralize the poison," Keitaro said, cringing at his own words.
Rina blinked at him, her face a mix of confusion and disbelief. "You… you want me to drink… toilet water?"
"Yes!" Keitaro said, desperation creeping into his voice. "Look, I know it sounds gross, but I'm not a normal toilet! My water's probably magical or something!"
"Probably?" Rina groaned, clutching her arm as the poison's effects worsened.
"Do you have a better idea?" Keitaro shot back.
She hesitated, her green eyes clouded with pain. Then, with a resigned sigh, she muttered, "This is officially the worst day of my life."
Rina crawled to the floating disc, leaning over him. Keitaro felt a strange mix of embarrassment and determination as she dipped her cupped hands into the water inside his bowl.
"Here goes nothing," she muttered, raising the water to her lips. She hesitated for a split second, then drank.
For a moment, nothing happened.
Then, a golden glow emanated from her body, starting at her chest and spreading outward. The sickly green hue around her wound faded, replaced by healthy, unblemished skin. Rina gasped, her eyes widening as strength returned to her limbs.
"It worked," she whispered, staring at her healed arm in disbelief.
Keitaro felt an odd sense of pride. "See? Told you I'm not a normal toilet."
Rina sat back, catching her breath. Her face was a mix of relief and lingering mortification. "I can't believe I just drank toilet water. This is going to haunt me forever."
"Hey, you're alive, aren't you?" Keitaro said. "You're welcome, by the way."
Rina shot him a glare but couldn't suppress a small smile. "Thanks… I guess. But you'd better explain how you knew you could do that."
"I wish I could," Keitaro admitted. "It just… came to me. Like some kind of instinct."
Rina frowned, her curiosity piqued despite herself. "Interesting. Maybe your new form has latent magical properties. I'll need to study this more."
"Great," Keitaro said dryly. "I'm a research project now."
Rina chuckled, standing up and picking up her staff. "Come on, magic toilet. Let's get out of here before something worse shows up."
As they resumed their trek through the dungeon, Keitaro couldn't shake the feeling that this was only the beginning of his strange new abilities.
And as much as Rina hated to admit it, she was starting to feel lucky she'd found him—even if he was a toilet.