Kai said to Eliza, with Pensée overhearing, "So, are you ready to take on Xinx? I've fought her before and managed to land a hit. She can be defeated; we just need to find her weaknesses and weak points. Part of her must be flashing red for us to target."
Eliza began, "I think if we work together..."
Pensée jumped in, cutting them off. "Nobody will be flashing today, especially not red." She took charge. "Lillian! Larisa! Get to the front. You are part of the Pro Tags, are you not?"
Lillian couldn't help but smile. "Yay, I'm part of the team!"
Kai inspected Pensée, trying not to stare. "So, do you have a weapon?"
Pensée looked around and saw Kai with his Bun-chucks, Eliza with her selfie stick... stick, and Lillian, Larisa, and Gig-Git armed with nothing but lost, perplexed faces. She said, "No, I forgot we were fighting, but I've got abilities, and I will command two armies."
Pensée secured her plot armour tightly, thankful she hadn't thrown it at Jason. With determination, she pulled out her skin flute and gave it a vigorous blow. Sparks and hair swirled around as the air's water molecules converged into a formidable water army of blob monsters, multiplying relentlessly. More and more kept forming, the air thick with their presence. "Enough! How do I cancel this relentless barrage? Cancel it, cancel it now!" she shouted, urgency colouring her voice.
Eliza suggested, "Maybe post about it, calling you overweight on eBunnee?"
Pensée looked down at her firm body in her plot armour, unsure what was meant by that comment. She moved on, trying to sound confident as she looked at the water monsters she had created. Pensée pretended it was all intentional, with more and more endlessly forming.
"Just as I planned. Now, we have a big water army to serve us."
Kai asked, "So you have plot armour! Where did you get that from?! You do know that armour makes you?"
She cut him off. "Yes, I am aware it makes me look..." She trailed off, mumbling about something else. "It was gifted to me by one of my viewers; I can't remember who." With Eliza mentioning the word 'overweight' and Kai likely to say it too, she admitted that the armour didn't really flatter her figure; it concealed it instead. Despite its protective qualities, Pensée couldn't shake off the feeling of insecurity creeping in as the conversation veered towards her physical appearance. "I will take it off."
Kai exclaimed, "No!! With this armour on, you're invincible! This means you can't die, and nothing can stop you."
Pensée, who liked to think she was an expert with knowledge of the game, really disliked being schooled on such things. "Yes! I did read the description for it. Do you presume I lack such knowledge?! But I refuse to wear it if it tarnishes my appearance! There are standards to uphold."
Eliza was about to ask if she could wear it, but then terror approached, halting her from asking.
Xinx rapidly closed in on them, glaring with death in her eyes, death poised in her hands, and death coursing through her veins. With nothing but the promise of death driving her forward, she effortlessly sliced through them with her trusty Flexiblade Erector. The blob monsters did nothing but attempt to give her a wet hug. Their overwhelming numbers now ironically served to her advantage.
"They're slowing her down," Pensée observed.
Kai, noticing an opportunity, honed his skills in water treading, recognising their value in this moment. Undeterred, he maintained his balance atop the undulating waves, steadily closing the distance towards Xinx. Seizing the opportune moment, he struck with his Bun-chucks, taunting, "How many Buns can the Bun-chucks chuck?" His blows landed swiftly, first across her face, then on her arm, causing her to falter momentarily.
As she lowered her arm, Kai couldn't help but feel satisfied. "That was easier than expected," he mused to himself. Reflecting on his previous encounters with Xinx, where he managed to land a single hit on her—being the only one to ever do so—he had now achieved landing not just one, but two decisive strikes against her.
Xinx gave him a stare, as though he was nothing more than an annoying mosquito trying to give her a bloody kiss.
She stopped slashing at the water army and used one of her many death attacks. The remaining water beasts and all the water quickly slithered away over the side of the area plane, reaching the end of the virtual world—the part they were too lazy to finish coding and designing. She lifted her Flexiblade and flexed its erector. With a command, it surged towards Kai's neck.
Pensée blew softly on her flute, her abilities no longer on cool-down, creating a gust of wind that sucked up all the objects in its path, including a plastic shopping bag with the words "Bradley's Meaty Mirth" and various particles of dust. The bag flew into Xinx's blade as it extended towards Kai's neck, jamming the joints of the blade and causing it to flop down, rendering it ineffective.
Larisa, invisible to Xinx, managed to creep up underneath her without her noticing—like a creepy ghost. Larisa drifted low to the ground, her spectral form phasing through as she tightly gripped Xinx's foot, while Lillian, ethereal and unseen, seized the other leg. Together, they bound Xinx with an unearthly hold, rendering her immobile. Lillian savoured the brief moment of what it felt like to be a ghost and considered how she might use this power outside the game, perhaps influencing crucial moments in sports matches by latching onto players' legs, ensuring her favourite team's victory. She chuckled softly to herself.
Eliza extended her selfie stick towards Xinx's face, refraining from striking her, and instead used the camera on her phone mounted at its end. With swift precision, she pressed the button—capturing multiple photos of Xinx in rapid succession. The flash ignited at full brightness as she fervently mashed the photo capture button, mirroring the intensity of a gamer navigating a quick-time event or playing Cookie Clicker.
Gig-git, by Eliza's side, unleashed all his attacks, with cries of "YAK!!! YAK!!!," "yak yak yak yak," and "YAKYAKYAKYAK," sending debris flying everywhere. Xinx's exceptional hearing and sight, typically her greatest assets, became her greatest liabilities. The loud yaks from the doggo made her wish she didn't have ears, and the bright flashes from Eliza made her wish she didn't have eyes.
Xinx, now wet, immobile, partially and temporarily blind with a ringing in her ears from the barking dog, found her weapon jammed with a plastic bag. Pensée stood in front of her, delivering powerful left swipes repeatedly with her bare hands, trying to land as many hits on Xinx as she could, far surpassing Kai. Despite this, he didn't seem to mind; the goal right now was not only to hit Xinx but to defeat her. Every time Xinx tried to unclog the bag from her blade or execute one of her many death attacks, Kai struck her limits with a quick and decapitating bun-chuck hit.
Kai observed that Pensée was landing many hits on Xinx, but her health points were in the millions, so Pensée's small strikes were doing little more than tickling her. Xinx couldn't retaliate with the whole team swarming her, turning it into a battle of attrition. Kai said, "I wish we had something that did more damage, like a gauntlet or a weapon just as powerful."
"I had a gauntlet covered in cheap gemstones, but I tossed it aside," she said with disdain. "Ugly junk!"
The Iron Hand...with Stones Stuck on It, one of the most sought-after items in the game—so powerful it could split the entire world in half, shatter mountains, and control the very fabric of reality itself.
Kai thought to himself, "Just crazy. You have... the Iron Hand... with Stones Stuck on It (even thinking it, Kai was too afraid not to finish the full name of it) and plot armour?! God-like weather-controlling powers, and God knows what else, which she most likely has the abilities to know. Can you have any more advantages in this game?" He felt a pang of guilt, almost as if he were cheating, partnering up with someone wielding so much overpowered shiznit and ganging up on Xinx like they were. But seeing Eliza's impressed expression reassured him; as long as she was on board, everything seemed justified.
Lillian, puzzled, asked, "How does she have so many HP points?! Over 2,147,483,647 HP points?! How is this even possible?! I barely have 2,000!" She maintained a firm grip on Xinx's feet alongside Larisa.
Larisa, her eyes sparkling with curiosity, asked, "What if 2,147,483,647 is her phone number? Should we try calling her, maybe? Hmm, hum, hum~."
As Eliza continued taking photos of Xinx, keeping her blinded, she quipped, "There's no need to call her; she's right here."
Then, amid the static interference with its peculiar static and buzzing sounds, they all believed it was someone attempting to place a phone call, and oddly enough, they were correct. Alas, it wasn't Xinx making the call, for she remained in a state of immobile daze; rather, it originated from... someone else.
An 8-bit bunny, one eye shedding a tear while the other glowed demonically, cradled a pixelated catto. The image might have held symbolic meaning—just nobody really cared. Its mouth alternated between two animated expressions—open and closed—as it announced:
"I've infiltrated this game to deliver a critical transmission.
This game, along with Bunnee, is spreading like a virus.
Infecting the minds of the global generation.
Its influence knows no bounds.
Permeating the thoughts of young minds worldwide.
The sole method to induce change is by striking from within.
And striking mercilessly at their weakest points."
"Look what the cat dragged in. Or should I say: the cat that the bunny dragged in. Anita, with her 'cute' avatar," Pensée remarked, clearly not at all impressed by this little show for attention.
"Anita who?" the avatar said next, but was ignored.
Eliza was a bit puzzled by how she was massaging them: "How is she communicating with us without the VR headset?"
"Perhaps she's using her phone... somehow," Kai speculated.
"But she despises her phone, and isn't this game incredibly high-tech and resource-intensive? I doubt a phone could handle it," she replied.
As she continued left-swiping Xinx, she figuratively dismissed Anita in the same manner. Although she found Anita amusing at times and the two of them were somewhat friendly, bonded by their mutual dislike for both Jason and The Head, Pensée knew this moment was about her and the Pro Tags, but mostly, 95% about her. She found it somewhat irritating that Anita was attempting to hijack it.
Anita recognised she wasn't fooling anyone and spoke in her regular voice, via the text, via the avatar flashing, and via being right in front of their faces:
"I am not using a phone. I don't need a phone. I only need a computer to access this from home. You just need a few simple tools to get access to The Masks' Matrix Skynet servers, and you can get in with a bit of brute-horsing."
"So you didn't have to leave the house... that's not fair," one of the girls said, though it didn't matter which one.
"I was just updating the graphics card, RAM, and nearly everything else on my Sinclair ZX Spectrum microcomputer. As I pondered the possibilities of this upgraded beast, I thought to myself, 'Let's see if I can connect to this hi-tech Mask VR game,' utilising my old-school modem and '80s microcomputer. The cacophony of screeching sounds... the loading screen of the Sinclair ZX Spectrum combined with the modem dial-up sound... resembled a dentist's drill conversing with an angry bee in an angry debate. And to my surprise, it worked! Now I find myself chatting with you via THE BUNNY!"
Eliza's eyes widened in disbelief as she uttered, "You didn't miss any steps, Anita?! At all? It was this simple?!"
Her curiosity hung in the air, palpable as she awaited Kai to say something. He then added nothing, just repeating a lessened version of what Eliza had said: "That was overly simple."
"K.I.S.S., as they say."
The fourth letter of the acronym uttered by Anita's avatar was the word apropos for Eliza right now. "Who are 'they'? Does she mean the viewers?" she thought to herself. Eliza shook her head dismissively, briefly entertaining the notion of kissing Kai amidst the chaos of battle. Yet, the urgency of their situation quickly dawned on her. Recognising they were in the midst of a deadly fight with Xinx, she understood they shouldn't be chatting away or entertaining thoughts of kissing. Despite this, the idea lingered in her mind. Eliza promptly dismissed it with a firm declaration, "Kiss? Not right now. We can't. We're busy."
Pensée nodded. "The Pro Tags must steadfastly focus on the task at hand." She gave Xinx two more mighty left swipes, taking off 0.6 from Xinx's health.
"Hit her with a Cat Smash, Catto Smash, Double Smash... or just with a Cat Attack," Lillian said.
Pensée did them all, and Xinx's health went down in such tiny increments.
"You aren't even scratching her. She is gaining more and more HP, faster than you can drain it. I have exposed Xinx's mainframe and conducted a thorough investigation of her cookies. It turns out that her power source comes straight from her follower count; the more people following her, the stronger she gets. The only way to defeat her is to hit her where it hurts."
None of them had a clue what Anita was on about.
"It appears she has amassed millions of bot accounts as followers. I'm currently in the process of eliminating these bots and conducting a thorough sweep."
The girls... and Kai stood in disbelief as Xinx's HP dramatically plummeted while her followers were erased. There was no lingering spirit or ghost in the aftermath; they simply vanished into oblivion.
The budget was running out, and no frames of animation were displaying for Xinx. Xinx's AI lacked the data to respond to the unfolding situation, so it chose to remain silent.
Pensée wished she could give Anita a big swiping-left slap as well.
"Anita and I know your game, and honestly, it deserves like a 1 out of 10 on any review site. It's not even worth pirating because it straight-up stinks. You really think you can just show up here like a glory hunter and steal our spotlight? Are you really that desperate for attention and validation?"
The 8-bit bunny glitched out, its laughter morphing rapidly from adorable to sinister. It cycled through them all in rapid succession before speaking:
"Validation from whom exactly? News flash: no one is watching anymore. Everyone left over 10 minutes ago when Kassy announced she was releasing a new song called 'Kassy Kass Wiggle.' Did you miss the announcement?"
"Kassy... Kass... Kassy!!?" Lillian struggled to articulate her words.
Pensée, a devoted fan of Kassy, shook her head dismissively. Despite her admiration, this moment was hers to seize, and Kassy snapped it away. "She's lying," Pensée asserted. "Kassy has vanished, and she won't return. It's time to move forward: build a bridge and find someone else to obsess over."
"Kassy... Kass... KASS!!?" Lillian persisted, her tone growing desperate.
Kai, engrossed in his menus and statues, finally spoke up. "She's right. Our audience has abandoned us, captivated by the Kassy bombshell. The game's global viewership has plummeted to 100k, and our personal counts are in shambles."
Pensée, unable to contain her mounting frustration any longer, unleashed a torrent of rage, with no seeders, into the void. "If nobody's watching, then I'm through. I have better things to pursue than wasting my efforts on unappreciative fools! I loathe you all, you mindless hoppers!" With a primal scream, she abruptly severed her connection, leaving only an echoing silence in her wake.
None of them were really surprised she disconnected. They were actually surprised she stayed as long as she had.
Kai said, "I think she forgot we get a wish once to beat Xinx for good, so no more plot developments for her."
Eliza, playfully calling Kai "Kai-boo-boo-bear," added with a grin, "Seems like she has lost the plot."
"I wish we had plots, but it seems like we have nothing tangible going on here."
Eliza executed a lively wiggle, her selfie stick swaying in tandem with her movements. "What do you mean? I do have plots," her grin growing even slyer, her eyes shimmering with mischief.
Kai's innocent eyes darted briefly around before he quickly averted his gaze in the VR game, deciding to focus solely on the battle and not elsewhere.
The few who remained pressed on in their battle against Xinx, their determination unwavering. Despite Xinx's diminished HP from Anita's actions with her bot followers, it still took them a considerable amount of time to whittle down the remaining HP. Moreover, Anita's internet went down, leaving her unable to reconnect. This unexpected setback proved to be a significant challenge. Gig-git, still with them, continued to inflict damage with the yaks of the apocalypse.
After enduring another gruelling 50 hours in VR, they finally whittled down Xinx's HP to zero. "Yay!" they cheered collectively, their voices strained and their eyes heavy with exhaustion. The relentless monotony of pummelling a stationary target for such an extended period left them feeling drained and weary.
Lillian, still in a trance, kept repeating, "Kassy... Kassy?!" But this time, she added additional words: "She is alive! And has a new song?!" Larisa enjoyed every second of the 50 hours by Lillian's side, next to Xinx's non-smelly feet.