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** Caution! **
Our team is actively working on refining the communication model for compatibility with pets. Not tested on animals!
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Anita had been in trouble many times during her time at Estresey Academy, but this was the first time she had to walk down the long corridor of shame, as many so eloquently called it.
Being in the Head's office to see the Head-Meister was unquestionably a place you absolutely did NOT want to be—100%, especially given that Anita found the eBunnee app not just boring and tedious but also mind-numbingly monotonous, drearily repetitive, hilariously humdrum, tediously tiresome, soul-crushingly unexciting, totally unnecessary, redundant—and a waste of her time. Engaging with the Head—whose head seemed quite vacant—could raise concerns, particularly regarding issues like a low follower count, a lack of likes accumulation, and areas not benefiting from analytics improvements.
Many students opted to skip classes and exams, indulging in video games or constantly checking their phones. With their stats proving sufficient on eBunnee, they earned nothing but praise. The Academy's ultimate objective was for individuals to cultivate the most substantial eBunnee presence possible, thereby enhancing the desirability of Estresey Academy.
Anita was summoned to the Head's office again. But this wasn't a summoning akin to a person being summoned in 'The Mask' game, where you instantly teleport to where your friends are battling. Instead, she had to walk—a task she didn't particularly enjoy, given that her poor legs were not made for it and weren't used to walking for more than three twiglets.
She proceeded down a long, foreboding corridor adorned with portraits of the Head and Jason striking various duck poses and smirking in exotic locations around the town of Berghwoodna, such as a café where they were posing, in French Maid outfits, along with furry claw mittens and kitty ears. There was also a photo of them standing outside a sewage plant, with the Head walking along the railings. The last photo she saw before feeling queasy was an anime-fied picture of the two of them with the caption 'I love Head! My boo!' Anita gently closed her eyes, unwilling to witness any more of these two.
Discreetly, she gagged, proceeding down the corridor with her head bowed.
She prepared to knock on the big, imposing wooden door of the Head's office with her head still down. Just before she could make contact, the door swung ajar, disrupting her equilibrium and prompting a brief stumble forward. The Head peered at her and shook his head disapprovingly, as if he had been observing her outside with her head down and was now watching her try to regain her balance. The Head said, "Just as we suspected, no focus or concentration at all, with your head in the clouds."
He gestured for her to take a seat in his office, an unusual space devoid not only of the typical office essentials like books, paperwork, or a computer but also lacking basic necessities such as pens and stationery. Instead, the room boasted a massive table adorned with an array of mech figurines. Large LED pads on the walls showcased posters of a movie titled "Mech-a-Saurus Rampage."
"Alright, let's address any concerns at Estresey Academy, shall we?"
The flashing mech images on the LED screens were directly behind the Head, and it was literally impossible to focus on him without your eyes drifting to the big robots and drones shooting and marching around. It created a dazzling spectacle that stole your attention and made it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything else. The Head droned on about whatever, and I zoned out, not really hearing a word of it.
"Anita Bath?!" The Head's loud inquiry jolted me back to reality, making me aware that I hadn't been fully tuned in.
"You do!" I swiftly responded, regaining my focus.
"Huh?" he queried, a hint of confusion in his voice.
He seemed eager for me to explain what I had just said. "Bath is a place in the UK where... my family comes from. That is how I got the surname 'Bath.' The city has a population of about 90,000."
"I... I don't understand." Was he imagining 90,000 people in a giant bath? Who knew... his mind looked quite vacant, as if he didn't have the rehearsed prompts to reply to what was said. It was unorthodox, with his mind going over his prompt sheet list, thinking of suitable replies to utter.
This made Anita giggle slightly to herself, and she wondered if she should try to perplex his feeble mind some more.
Instead of trying to understand anything, the Head was looking at some sort of analytics tool on his phone and gave a deep sigh before saying, "You have only clocked in 2 hours on eBunnee this week."
Anita waited for him to elaborate and say something else, but this was clearly not the response the Head had hoped for. Then I noticed some smelly socks on his desk. Why they were on his desk was anybody's guess. I just hoped he was wearing some socks right now. There was a pungent smell in the room, so it was quite possible he wasn't. The Head observed me staring at the socks and, not caring to move them, still waited for me to respond about clocking only 2 hours.
"Anita, I've never seen you on your phone. Even now, your mind seems to be wandering elsewhere. Where is your phone at this very moment? Show it to me!"
"Why is he aggressively shouting at me?" she wondered to herself before muttering, "What an idiot." After a brief pause, she responded, "I don't... I didn't need it. I mean, I forgot to bring it today... it was... my skirt has no pockets." Anita stumbled over her words initially, and judging by his reaction, she sensed he was taking the bait. Suppressing a laugh, she contorted her face, releasing a subtle, fake sob to conceal it.
The Head began with a diatribe: "Here at..." a momentary pause, while he tried to remember where he was, he said, "Here at Estresey Academy, we take immense pride in upholding our core values and these principles, abiding by the slogan." Another awkward pause as he tried to recite the slogan they say almost daily, "We follow you every step of the way."
So, was he done? I really hoped so; then my soul was crushed when he carried on before he started spewing out more spiel... "The insti... the Academy here likes big numbers. Do you ever see a two-digit number and just wish it was a three-digit number? Or even a four-digit number? I absolutely love big numbers," the Head became increasingly more sinister and creepy the more he talked about numbers. I just tuned out and stopped listening. Maybe he was an AI bot that doesn't stop until you give a command for him to stop?
So I said, "If you like big numbers so much, why not learn coding or mathematics?"
The Head groaned, "So this is what you do instead of increasing your bunny hop-hop count?"
Did this person even listen? I was suggesting this to him.
"If you must know, I was building circuitry, reading books, and building synthesizers."
He paused, then queried, "I see... but what about your future?... your future on eBunnee?"
"My future? And what about yours?" I contemplated maliciously. Continuing to ponder, I thought, "What about your future when this blooming eBunnee junk becomes irrelevant or goes bye-bye? Don't put all your chocolate eggs in one basket, as the saying goes, because they melt and all that. I can't wait to hack this stupid eBunnee app and delete it from the world for good, or perhaps create an alternative that can teach you useful things about the history of the world and more."
The Head assumed that I was giving serious thought to the drivel he was spouting. Oh, the sheer obviousness of this fool...
"If I catch you reading anything but statue updates on eBunnee, there will be severe consequences, and the books will be confiscated. Do you understand?"