Chapter 25-2
Life Just Happens
Part 3
While the tub was filled with my favorite bubble bath peaches and cream and two beads of skin softener, Zane and I attended to his mother. It was quick but sensual because she only had on three articles of clothing: her blouse, bra, and skirt. Adding to the pile of clothes littered in Zane and Kenny's room. I twisted off the water, feeling the water finding it just a little hot, which was fine because it would give us the time. We needed to clean up the room and have a little sex.
Zane's mother picked up all our clothes and took them to the laundry room and started the wash. So, Greg and I would have clean clothes to wear in the morning and we certainly wouldn't be needing them until then, as I placed our sneakers by the front door with everyone else's shoes. Unlike my adoptive Mom, she did not scream the moment we walked into the house to take off our shoes. This house was comfortable and not immaculately cleaned. It looked lived in like my mother's.
Greg came into the house, his hair wet from the pool with Kenny right in front. Greg said. "Dude, I was wondering if you two died in there and needed me to come to rescue you." I looked at the time. It was almost 5 p.m. We had been in there for nearly four hours.
I shrugged my shoulders and said. "You know me … I like to take my time."
He was about to ask me what I had been doing for four hours when Zane came in and said. "He's all mine, Kenny," and wrapped his arms around me. Kenny's eyes widen as Zane placed my hands on his bare butt.
Kenny looked at me, and he smiled. That said, I had made his best friend the happiest person alive by telling Greg. "Zane's right bro, I haven't seen my brother like this in a very long time. He won't let anyone near his butt. He even wears his boxers to bed ever since he and I were raped." The fact he called his brother said he really loved him. Again, blood or genes have nothing to do with it. It's all about love and family.
Kenny said. "If you hurt my brother I will end you, but you get two thumbs up, and would kiss you if he let me come near you, for making him trust another person. Not even his own mother can do what you have just done. When he won't even trust me, and I have lived with him and slept in the same bed with him naked, ever since we were six or seven years old."
Bethany overheard and saw Zane and me together. She, too, was speechless. Kenny said. "Zane says Eric's all his and not willing to share him."
She nodded, Zane said. "Perhaps after we have bathed and had dinner, but I am making no promises." He let me go and told me not to move. From his sight, he quickly went up to Kenny and pulled him close, and kissed him, but the second Kenny's hands went to his butt he jerked back and said. "I love you too brother, but I need a little more time, but I won't be wearing my boxers to bed anymore."
Kenny hugged him close and said. "Whatever you need and how long it takes for you to trust me never to rape you like I did. I am willing to wait for you to be my brother again."
I knew the story, and I had another person to kill if Stringham hadn't done it already. Kenny was forced to rape his best friend by the same guy that raped them at knifepoint repeatedly, and the same went for Zane. It wasn't for the cops showing up at the door, tracking the guy for several rapes and murders in the area and across the State. It could have been a murder. The guy was worse than Shawn or what Shawn was turning into if given more time.
Not only does he rape his victims he murders them in cold blood once he gets tired of them. He would stalk them and force his way into the house to have sex with them then leave telling them if they said one word to anyone, he would kill them. Bethany went to the one person she trusted, and that was Dave when he came over one day delivering unneeded items.
She broke down and told him everything. He told Stringham and you could put the rest together. Maybe death would have been better for Shawn and Arthur if that was a sign of what they would become. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea after all.
I knew when Kenny said that he was still blaming himself for what happened, even if it wasn't his fault or his choice. He only did it because if he did not the guy would have slit both their throats right there in front of their mothers before killing them as well. Like most real-life problems, bad things happen to nice people. He was trying to forget it had ever happened.
If he only knew you never forget, no matter how deep you bury it will find its way up through the cracks. It would still take time for Zane and most likely for Kenny as well, and it is hard to say if any of them will ever be the same. Always having their guard up, never trusting another person until you know their story.
I have my own nightmares that I deal with every day. I know I am not alone when it comes to abuse of any kind. One of the main reasons why I am writing this book about my life and why I am writing a series a fictional version titled: What's Behind the Looking Glass? I want the world to know that I lived and how I lived; hoping to make their life just a little bit better knowing they too are not alone, and everyone has emotional scars.
Zane opened the fridge and brought out a six-pack of orange soda, realizing it was my favorite. He quickly grabbed my hand, and I followed him. I heard Kenny yell, "Yes!" Giving Greg a high five as we disappeared around the corner and back down the hall. Where his mother was waiting, stretched naked on the bed. Waiting for us to pleasure her, she looked a little winded and said she had watched the whole display back in the kitchen, but quickly covered it up by playing with her breasts and sweet spot. Telling us breathlessly she was so horny, wanting us to satisfy her. She had a condom ready to go, with the top already cut off.
I did not think about Zane or Kenny having sex with their mother. I accepted the fact that I wasn't the only one. I knew Greg had. I knew my three best friends had and none of them were having the problem I was having with my mother. I knew somehow, I needed to come to terms with it or I would never be able to truly forgive her and stop punishing her for all her mistakes. We all make mistakes. Perhaps I am going to hell, but it looks like I will have lots of company.
Zane knew the position well, and so did I. He did not hesitate. He simply took a deep drink of soda, passing me the can to finish it. We weren't concerned about boy germs considering we have been kissing with full mouths and tongues and both of us each of our penises in each other's mouths and swallowed each other's nectar. What more could we do in the sense of swapping germs? I am not dead yet and I haven't gotten 'Aids' after all these years. Some people would think we were just plain lucky. Luck has nothing to do with it. It's the vitamins we take and how clean we keep ourselves.
His mother popped a horny pill in each of our mouths and we were ready for another four hours of stimulating and sex. She did us both orally to bring us back up to a hard state. Then put us both inside her. She gave Zane the breast's side, because she was proud of him and loved him, but told us both to tell her when we were at the brink.
When we did, she switched sides, letting me have my chance to play with those beautiful breasts. She loved having sex with us as she screamed several times going harder and faster. Until we both climaxed. I let Zane have a quick snack, spreading my legs so he could come up between us and me, and made a meal of her breasts.
When it was my turn, he did the same. He only hesitated because his Mom put her hands on his butt. She felt and saw him hesitate and removed them to his back. She apologized, but he refused to let her touch him there. I knew it hurt her, but it would take time to regain that trust.
He told me he wanted me to give him a full body massage while the tub was still cooling. I said we could do it after; he said we could do that, but he wanted me to bathe him, not his mother. I saw the hurt in her eyes, but she looked at me and mouthed thank you. I nodded and said. "I could do that, but I would like both of you to bathe me," I said. "That includes grooming me."
It was my third day, or it would be tomorrow. I would spend the day at home with my mother and there was no tub that she could use to do it. It would be a full sponge bath. Maybe I was being selfish because I did not trust her enough or love her enough. I am not sure why, but I needed Zane to know I trust him as much as he trusts me. What better way than letting him groom me with a sharp razor?
I grabbed my grooming kit, soap, shampoo, and sponge, gathering it all before we climbed in, and I made Zane comfortable. I started with his legs and feet. His mother just sat and watched, then gave me a silly grin. I watched her hand move under the bubbles and Zane's eyes rolled as he relaxed even more.
I scrubbed his right foot first and clipped his toenails and filed them down smoothly. I took each of his toes and put them inside my mouth; he gasped with his eyes open and moaned not expecting he would feel such pleasure. It was obvious that his mother or anyone hadn't done that before. She clarified it and said. "I hadn't done that since he was a baby."
I said. "Same foot just more of it." I licked the bottom of the sole of his foot like an ice cream cone. He moaned even more. I washed his leg and took my tongue all the way down to his knee. He giggled, and I kept adding it, finding that one spot where he would die and go to heaven. I did the same to the other foot and leg. I had him stand up, finding his Mom did a good job keeping him hard. I asked him if he wanted his mother to groom his crotch. He immediately shook his head, telling me he wanted me to do it. I saw the hurt in her eyes. Again, it was because he did not trust her enough. I knew he loved her, but like me, he was fighting an inside battle.
She said. "Kenny was the only one he ever let do it after the rape." I understood how he felt.
I said. "Zane, it isn't her fault. It wasn't your fault or your brother Kenny's fault. If you want someone to blame. Blame the guy that forced you to abuse your brother, or he would have killed you all."
He nodded and apologized, but he still wanted me to do it. Telling his mother. "Next time I promise."
He swallowed hard and laid back onto the rubber floor mat and let his mother put the shaving lotion on. He was fine with that. He was fine, letting her do him orally and stimulating him by hand. It was the sharp object he was afraid of and or having anyone touch him on his bare butt or between his legs. He let me because he trusted me because I had been abused like him and understood him because of that. He doesn't realize so are his mother and her best friend Bethany and Kenny. All he saw was him being abused.
I was more than careful and took my time, and then I pleasured him, doing him orally once again. This time, I shared it with his mother. He was fine with that. She smiled at me. I knew it had been a long while since she had been able to without his boxers.
He was ok with her seeing him naked. It was the stimulating him in the nude that he had a problem with, but now that I was here, he was trusting to the fact that I wanted him to trust his mother again. It is true you could have sex with your boxers on, but only made sense to the person who wore them. I have had sex with my adoptive mom and sisters and many girls and women with just a hole in their panties. So, I knew it was possible.
For the first time in a long time, Zane was tearing down those walls, and I was proud of him. I had only known him for a few hours or full day and night back then, but I loved him like he was more than just a best friend. He, too, like Greg and Dillon were more like my brothers. I pulled him back into the tub and bathed him with love; he let me touch him anywhere I wanted.
He did not jerk when my hard penis touched his butt as I reached around him with a playful stroke. He trusted me. His mother nearly cried because to her she was witnessing a miracle. He and Kenny had seen several therapists and not one of them made the progress I had made with Zane when it came to absolute trust. I wasn't a therapist; I was a victim, the same as he and Jody. Jody told me it is all about trust and compassion.
They don't want to hear you say you are sorry, they just want you to listen and hold them and show them you actually care. I held him in my arms and kissed him. I took the time he needed, and it wasn't about spending the day with beautiful, horny girls having mind-blowing sex. It was all about Zane.
It is true that I most likely going to hell for liking boys and loving them affectionately as well as many girls and mothers, but at least I won't be alone, or God truly knows what's in my heart. I wasn't a rapist; I wasn't a murderer; I was just a boy that liked to love and be loved. If there was something wrong with that. The world must be on crack.
The nudist had it right. It's not about being naked. It's about love and allowing yourself to be loved. Being male or female has nothing to do with it when it comes to love. Sure, the sex is great, but the second you let someone in your heart, it's not about sex or lust it's about sharing yourself and your soul with that person.
I kept my word as I dried Zane off, letting them both dry me off as the tub drained. We walked back to his bedroom finding it was taken so his mother closed the door said. "Pizza sounds good." I knew they delivered even in Santaquin with Domino's being the only pizza place in Payson that did. Zane's Mom Tally excused herself and told us not to start without her wanting a massage, too. Zane had me climb on the bed so he could massage my chest and stimulate us together.
I said. "You know, if I am hard, I might poke you in the butt."
He swallowed hard and leaned down and kissed me and said. "I will just have to trust you," and gave me a silly grin.
I had rolled over on my stomach when his Mom came in to join us. I heard her gasp when she noticed he was hard and his penis was near my butt. She said. "Please, Zane, don't do it."
He turned around and said. "I have no plans too. He trusts me not to. He got me hard and told me to give him a full back massage. Knowing I could and knowing I wouldn't."
I turned my head towards her and said. "I trust your son. He's not a rapist. I know what a rapist is. I live with two of them at my Rothwell home. He doesn't have it in him. He knows it's wrong, and I trust him." I watched her eyes seeing his hard penis sliding up and down the top of my butt crack as he leans in and deepens the massage on my shoulder and back. Each time it slid I felt it and repeated in my head, he won't rape me, he won't rape me.
He slid down further, doing my legs. I moaned in complete bliss and even more when he did my feet and stuck my toes in his mouth and licked the soles of my feet like an ice cream cone, making me die and go to heaven. It was my turn to give him a massage; I took his penis and had him stroke both of us like we had done while his Mom called the pizza order in.
When it was my turn to do his back, she gasped as he let me as she watched my penis slide the same way. He tensed a couple of times, and I heard him whisper, "He's not going to rape me, he's not going to rape me?" I slid down and spread his legs and licked in between them. He only jerked because it was something new, but soon relaxed, trusting me completely. I did the same to his feet, having him moan again. Then when I finished, he said. "That was the best massage I have had in a long time without my boxers."
His Mom was in shock seeing that he really did trust me. She quickly hugged me, thanking me for bringing back the son she thought was lost. I said. "He was never lost. He was suffering like I was suffering. We just understand each other's needs and respect that person knowing how we felt."
She did not understand. I could see it in her face. Rape was different for a guy than was for a woman when it was just hard sex. Jody told me their differences when it is someone that is not allowed to touch you that way and forces you to do something you're not ready for. To me rape is rape, but soon I too would understand, but for now, I just don't understand the difference, mostly.