Chapter 9-1
Living A Secret Life
Part 2
It was nearly two before we left the Gills, as I watched Dad and John place a long rod in the back seat of Kerry's car. Arthur and Shawn were dressed up as girls with full makeup and bikinis. Right down to fake boobs filled with small water balloons. With the stem poking through to state, they were the girl's hardened nipples. Mom and I took pictures of them to hang on our walls and put in photo albums.
Mom said "Cheese" getting a frown and hatred look, but it was a picture to die for. Dad placed them in the car and handcuffed them to the bar. While John placed earphones over their ears, Dad said. "Have a good-time girls. We will see you when we get back." Getting the response, he wanted which said if looks can kill we would all be dead. Dad gave John one of my tranquilizers and said. "If they give you any trouble, just knock them out."
Kerry and John, both gave me a big hug and kiss to take my breath away, and both gave me a little stroke and kneeled down, and took me orally right in front of Shawn and Arthur. Telling me when I came home all the things they were going to do to me. I smiled as I returned the favor. Kerry shivered with excitement, telling me if we had the time, they would take me right here. I looked at Dad; he rolled his eyes; I hugged him.
Jody yelled. "Wait for me!" Jared and my two younger brothers would have come too, but Mom held them back and said. "You'll get your chance I promise. Why don't you boys take Sparky for a nice, long walk?" Mom grabbed Dad's penis and towed him into the house with us.
Mr. and Mrs. Gill were at it again on the couch. Mom and Dad took the other one, while my sisters and John led the way back to their room. I got into position to play spider love, but John stuck his penis in my mouth while Kerry and Jody took turns with me having sex. When John and I had climaxed fully, everyone shared me and John with a kiss. I knew we would be hard and ready to do it again in about an hour. We needed to get on the road, or we never got to camp before nightfall.
I kissed each of them goodbye and climbed into the truck as Dad tossed me the keys. It was my baby brother's turn to ride with us. Mom was dressed in a full bikini because we would get close to civilization. She handed us each a pair of shorts. Dad put them on the floor and told me when I reached a quarter of a tank to wake him. I pulled out nice and slow and got back on the main road and did what I was told.
Dad gave me a big goofy grin as he placed his feet in my lap so he could stimulate me with his feet, sending my baby brother after it to share it between them. I was the happiest boy in the world and would not have traded it for anything.
We boys only put on our shorts and flip-flops when we filled up for gas. Taking quick bathroom breaks, and kept going until we reached the last gas station before I would meet up with my mother. I was not looking forward to it because it meant my vacation was over. And all I would get when I got to her house was nothing, no sex, no oral stimulation not even a full massage.
It would be just me putting the sock on the door. I had a feeling it was going to be a living hell without it because I really, really liked breasts, sex, and penises. Mom was kind to let us wear our robes open during the last few miles. It was almost three hours before dark when we arrived at camp. My mother and brother were waiting for me and so were Officer Kenly and his family.
I couldn't figure out why I was so unhappy, mostly it was because I was seeing everyone wearing either swimsuits or basic summer wear. It bothered me knowing they were lying to me behind the masks of the world. I put on a happy face and closed my robe and got out of the truck. My mother hugged me. The first thing she asked me was. "Were you really a nudist, having lots of sex with mermaids?"
I grinned and opened my robe; she couldn't believe how tan I was. There was not any white or pink anywhere on me as she removed my robe and had me turn around a few times. She gasped, "I thought you were tan before, son, but you are brown, I mean really, really brown." She compared me with Aaron's skin. He was tan, but three shades lighter than me.
Aaron looked down at my crotch and said. "Mom, he doesn't have any hair down there as he did before." Mom took a second look. She missed it because like all mothers and fathers, when it comes to their kid's nudity it just doesn't register anymore.
Mom Rothwell quickly looked and said. "Isn't my son beautiful?" I saw the hurt in her eyes when my adopted Mom called me her son, but she signed that document saying I was her son too.
The hurt did not go away, but she put on a cheerful face, even though it was fake. "Are you ok son with it? You are not mad at me for letting them adopt you?"
I pulled her close and hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. It differed from a kiss I would normally give, but she liked it. I said. "Would you like my honest answer, Mom?" I watched her swallow hard. She nodded, fearing my answer. I said. "No, I am not mad, but I am disappointed. I am disappointed because you would not have even considered it when the Downings asked to adopt me. I am disappointed because you did not really want me, as you do now, but did not want me with them either.
"If you would have changed sooner, they would have, and I would have made a compromise that would work for both of us. Instead, because you were the way you were, all we wanted was a closed adoption where you would be forbidden to contact me or ever see me again. Now that you have changed, you are willing to compromise, and we both got what we wanted. An open adoption where you can see me anytime you like.
"We do not have to go through a caseworker; we do not have to go through family court. All you have to do is come see me anytime you like, and I can come home when you want me to. I know why you did it and I am happy, and I love you that you cared enough to make sure I had a father who cares about me and a mother and a family. So, I am disappointed because we could have had all this a lot sooner.
"I'll be eighteen in two years," I said, my voice tinged with a mix of excitement and apprehension. The warm breeze gently rustled the leaves in the trees around us as I continued, "And on my own, but you will always be in my life from now on."
The air in the mountains was crisp and pure, carrying with it the faint scent of pine as I paused, lost in thoughts of what could have been. As I took a deep breath, my heart pounded in my chest, and I mustered the courage to confess, "And yes, I was a nudist and still am, and yes, I had sex, lots of sex."
My mother's face flushed slightly, but I pressed on, determined to be honest. "But most of all, I discovered that I am bisexual." I leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek, the tender touch resonating between us.
Overwhelmed with astonishment, Mom stood frozen in place, unable to fathom the sequence of events that had led to this moment. Meanwhile, I gradually began to experience a surge of confidence, preparing myself to unveil my most guarded secret, a hidden fragment of my life that I had concealed until this very instant. I pushed on feeling relieved that so far; she was taking the news better than I imagined. "Would you like to see my mermaids and boyfriends?" I asked, a hint of nervousness in my voice.
Her face filled with astonishment, her eyes widening in apparent surprise until a sudden realization dawned upon her. Did she truly comprehend the depth of my words? Her question hung in the air, accompanied by a sense of both eagerness and anxiety. "So, let me make sure I understand this correctly. You're bisexual, and you had sex with lots of girls, and you also have a boyfriend's son. Do you mean a boy as your best friend or as someone you're in a relationship with?"
I nodded. "Yes, Mom, I had lots of sex with lots of nudist girls, and I have a boyfriend. We are in a serious relationship," confirming her suspicion. Suddenly, she erupted like a firecracker, her voice rising as she yelled, "Oh God! Mr. Rothwell, I am—!" Her words trailed off as she swooned, almost collapsing to the ground as if it weren't for my adoptive Dad catching her in his muscular arms.
As she regained consciousness, she screamed again, her voice filled with panic, "Your grandmother is so going to kill me and blister your butt red! And your father, hell, he is going to go nuclear when he finds out!" The anger never left her, seeing it simmering beneath the surface.
To diffuse the tension, my adoptive Dad quickly intervened, directing me to help unload and set up camp while he and my adoptive mom took her for a long walk, away from prying eyes. I could still hear the muffled sounds of their hushed conversation as I focused on the task at hand.
When they returned, my mom had calmed down slightly, but her anger still lingered. She took a seat at the table with everyone else, the tension palpable in the air. The evening sun cast a warm glow over our makeshift campsite, but the atmosphere remained heavy with unresolved emotions. Dad sent me to his truck to grab my photo albums and a box of my letters, so she could see them. Opening the box, she let out a gasp of anticipation, but her excitement quickly faded as she realized that it was only a small portion of the letters and pictures were inside. I said. "We will have a nice long talk later. My family needs me."
Dad called me over to help my brothers set up our tents. My mother just sat there blushing as she read a couple of letters and looked through my pictures. I put back on my robe and felt stupid for doing it.
My mother and Mr. and Mrs. Kenly were fairly decent. In my opinion, I couldn't help but feel like the odd one out, standing there completely naked. The sight of all the boys wearing shorts made me stand out even more, the only one bearing my entire self for my mother and brother to see my well-developed tan from the nudist colony. We were the only ones wearing robes, brought from our nudist colony, amidst a sea of clothed individuals. Before arriving, Dad had informed me that my sisters, Susan and Becky, had joined a girls-only camp-out, that the girls from my mother's ward had organized, accompanied by the Kenly daughters.
The only other person completely naked was my baby brother Jonathon, three, almost four; correction, even the Kenly's baby brother who was in his age group had stripped off his shorts. Seeing my brother Johnathan was naked had joined him streaking through the camp, his mother picking them up from the ground.
With a laugh, I realized that my adoptive Mom was in for a challenge trying to convince him to wear anything at all, and it seemed like getting him just to wear a pair of shorts would be quite a task. Yet, like me, she adored his naked body, and we wouldn't have had it any other way.
I quickly put back on my robe but left it open and found a spot for Sparky and introduced him to my mother, watching him jump on her and bark. My mother said. "You're a lively little dog, aren't you?" And bent down to pet him as he licked her hand. She looked at me and said. "You know you can't bring him with us when we go home, right, son?"
I almost growled. "I know, Mom, how my father feels about me, having any kind of pet." It sounded harsher than I meant seeing her taken aback. I quickly said. "He's got a home with the Rothwells and me. My brothers will take good care of him until I come back." The question in my mind was whether I would come back a live knowing my father. I left her standing there to help my brothers unpack the truck.
My adoptive Mom was doing a quick inventory of the food we still had left. I knew she needed to go shopping if they were going to spend the week here. Dad told me after I had finished setting up camp and our tent, placing my sleeping bag inside my mother's tent. I felt I was torn between them, but my mother hadn't signed the contract, and I hadn't found a way to break the ice, or how to approach the subject. Thank God for Mom for making the first move as she sat down with my mother. While Dad tended to the hamburgers and hot dogs, the only thing he could cook besides a good steak.
Like Dad said. 'Grab the bull by the horns and just do it.' I went over to Mr. Kenly And asked if we could talk. I wanted him to say no, but instead, he put his arm around me. Dad gave me a nod that said he was proud of me when needed to ask for advice, besides Mr. Kenly was in our circle of trust. He patted the rock next to him. Looking over at our camp, I said. "Mr. Kenly, I need some advice," having him correct me to call him Tom. I continued. "Tom, I need some advice. I need to know first why you signed my Dad's contract."
He put his arm around me and pulled me close and said. "I did it so there would be no secrets between us. I also did it so, so you could come to me for anything when you are home visiting your mother. And I suspect that's the same reason Bishop Earl signed it as well, but I also want you to know I did it because I love you. You and your brother Aaron are like sons to me and my wife."
I grabbed the bull by the horns and asked. "So, it's ok that I am a nudist, and I have had sex with lots of girls and I am bisexual?"
I watched his eyes as they looked at me. They did not judge me like I thought they would. He first asked if I planned to go on a mission. I wanted to laugh and asked. "Why does it matter if I want to go on a mission or not?" He got serious, and I swallowed real hard knowing here it comes. He's going to tell me I had made the wrong choice in trusting my adoptive Mom and Dad's judgment."
I said. "No, I was not planning on going on one."
He asked me why, and he wanted an honest answer. I simply said. "I have no faith in the LDS church; they were never there for me when I needed them the most. I have truly little faith in God, answering prayers. If it were not for Jeff, I would not think he even existed. Besides, they would not let me go because of my PTSD night-terrors and some major health issues that are caused by all the physical abuse."
He smiled and looked at me and took my hand and said. "Then having sex with a girl should not be a problem because that's an automatic disqualification. Yet I want you to clarify what you think sex is."
I said. "You won't be mad or hate me because I did, and Mom and Dad told me to and showed me everything when it comes to sex?"
He told me he would not, but his eyes said something else. Yet my gut told me he loved me, and he was just looking out for me and would not judge me. "No secrets," he said. He always expects me to give him an honest answer.
So, I told him everything. I watched his penis trying to poke through his jean shorts when I described in great detail everything I did with my mermaids and every girl I came across." I said. "I really, really like breasts and I like tickling and tasting their sweet spot. I like them stimulating me by hand and orally." His penis was getting harder, so was mine. He noticed it but said nothing. He laughed when it poked through my robe like it was saying. "Hi, I am here."
I was about to cover it up, but he stopped me. Instead, he opened my robe and said. "No secrets … that includes our bodies. I am not embarrassed because we have an erection. It's part of life and it's beautiful." To prove it, he unzipped his shorts and took them off, showing me, he was just as hard as I was. Like my brother Aaron and his son, he was already shirtless and barefoot, so he too was naked as I was. I felt better knowing he was not lying to me and hiding behind a mask.
The sight of them without shirts, wearing shorts and barefoot would have sent my father into a complete meltdown had he been here. Slowly, I removed my robe, revealing every inch of my naked body to him.
With a gentle slide, we descended from the rock and landed on the soft ground, sinking into its plush embrace. We nestled closely together, angling our faces in search of the perfect position for complete relaxation. Basking in the sun's warmth, we stretched out and relished the soothing feeling on our bare skin. "So far, son, all you did was what they say, or call petting, but I like the word you use stimulation," he remarked, with a knowing smile on his face. "It makes it sound less dirty and more mature, yet I can see and feel that you already knew that. So, the real question is how far you went, or your parents went. Correction, your Rothwell parents told you to. Hold nothing back. You are in too deep to stop now."
I cringed at his words, feeling a knot in my stomach.
"My adoptive parents wanted me to not only share myself with my brothers, but also with my two sisters, Jody and Kerry, and all my nudist friends. That includes having actual sex, not just petting or sexual stimulation," I stammered, my voice barely above a whisper. I quickly went over the new terminology, trying to find the right words to explain myself. His eyes sparkled with a mix of curiosity and pride, but there was also a hint of judgment lurking beneath the surface.
He listened intently as I poured out my deepest secrets, my heart pounding in my chest. I expected him to react with outrage, to condemn me for my actions. But to my surprise, he remained calm, his expression unwavering. I even dared to tell him that I was bisexual, bracing myself for his disapproval. Yet, his acceptance washed over me like a gentle wave, soothing the fear that had consumed me for so long.
"So did I screw up, and am I going to go straight to hell?" I asked, my voice trembling with anxiety. I cringed, dreading his response.
He shook his head slowly, a reassuring smile playing on his lips. "No, you're not. It's perfectly normal for you to lose your virginity at your age," he said, his words resonating. I took a shaky breath, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders.
"I know how the LDS church sees it, but I think that it is stupid to tell you can only do it when you are married, and stupid that only my wife can stimulate me orally. I too like breasts just as you like them and tickling and licking their sweet spot, and I like that word better than what other people call it. It makes it sound so vulgar and intrusive, a sweet spot. I like that. I have been doing it since I was fifteen," he admitted, his voice filled with a mix of nostalgia and defiance.
His honesty surprised me, and I couldn't help but feel a glimmer of trust forming between us. Encouraged by this newfound connection, I mustered the courage to ask what had been weighing on my mind.
"Is it bad to stimulate my brothers and Dad by hand or orally?" I inquired, my eyes locked with his, searching for any signs of disapproval. I couldn't ignore arousal, a tangible reminder of the desires we shared.
He met my gaze, his eyes flickering with a mix of hesitation and desire. "No secrets. I am being honest, and I want an honest answer because I like doing it, and I like them doing it to me. Mom and Dad told me it was okay, and that I was not hurting them or myself by doing it. "But if you say no, I want a good reason why I shouldn't," I pleaded, my voice filled with a mix of longing and uncertainty.
Silence hung heavily in the air, stretching out for the moment. I could feel the weight of his response before he even uttered a word. "When I was growing up, I had four brothers and two sisters. We masturbated. Correction stimulated ourselves lots of times. We were curious when we first saw my mother do my father orally. We said 'Yew, gross,' but we were curious about what it tasted like. We had stimulated ourselves several times together, but never tasted it before and never thought of tasting it until we saw our mother do it," he confessed, his voice filled with a mix of vulnerability and truth.
"We had an open relationship like you have with your parents and like me and my family have with you. One of the reasons I signed on the dotted line. I wanted you and your brother to still have that open relationship and why Bishop Earl signed it. I want you to know we fasted and prayed and went to the temple together before we signed that contract. The answer I got was that I should sign that contract. I felt I was doing the right thing and still do.
"At first, when we tasted it for the first time it was not to our liking and was the same with my brothers, but Mom kept doing it. So, I asked her and Dad over dinner one night. I asked my mother what it tasted like. I remember blushing and feeling stupid, but we had an open relationship. My mother said my father tasted like sunshine on a cool day. I was confused by it and so were my brothers.
"She clarified it and said salty sweet. I asked does it make you sick or get you pregnant. We knew about the birds and the bees and how babies are made. I have children of my own, so I know it's true. She told me she had been doing it since high school with many of her boyfriends before she married my father.
"My father nodded. It was true. Mom said, no it won't hurt you as long as your partner or boyfriend stays clean and healthy with routine checkups. When she asked me why, I explained to my parents that my brothers had attempted it and couldn't comprehend why she continued doing it. She knew we had witnessed them having sex on several occasions, and it didn't faze us, returning home from school to find them entangled on the couch or leaving their bedroom door ajar, allowing the sound of the baby's cries to reach their ears.
"At first, I thought she was going to grab the switch and tan our hides, but she told me it was ok. That the flavor at first is odd or strange, but over time we would think it tasted like sunshine or salty sweet. After that, she started to give us vitamins and more regular checkups and gave us their blessing. She suggested that if we wanted to, we could share it with each other.
"At first, I thought they were joking, and I felt as if it was wrong. Like you, I trusted my parent's judgment and talked to my Bishop about it, and he said 'Let God sort it out, not the world around you or the church. He knows what's in your heart the world doesn't.' "So, I give you the same advice: let God be the judge, not the world or the church." He asked if that answered my question.
I said yes and asked. "But did you let your sisters and your parents stimulate you, orally or by hand?" He moved a little closer and said. "I did, and we never regretted it. In fact, we still do. I even let my kids do it when they got old enough." I asked if he ever got sick from it or them.
He laughed at me, lying back and letting me see his penis reaching for the sky. "No, I never got sick even when I did it with my best friends when we went skinny dipping."
I felt relieved and said. "I like girls a lot … a real lot, but I like stimulating boys too, and was afraid that you would think I was gay and doing things I shouldn't. All I heard were the voices in my head telling me it was wrong because the world and the church told me it was. But inside, I did not feel that it was. I had sex with my foster Mom and my two foster sisters Because Mom and Dad said I couldn't get them pregnant, but I also had lots of sex with my new boyfriend's mother and the mothers of my three favorite mermaids, not to mention having lots of sex with several nudist girls.
A feeling of unease washed over me as he dropped his jaw and uttered his words. "You engage in sexual intercourse with them? Is that what you are telling me? And you have an actual boyfriend now? How in the hells bell's did that happen? You were gone for almost an entire month. How in the hell did you find the time to do all that?
I nodded. I replied with a coy smile, admitting, "Yes, I do have a boyfriend, and I've had many hectic days and nights. I doubt I even slept much." I eagerly shared with him the story of Dillon and our heartfelt ceremony, describing the ring that sparkled on my finger.
I then explained to him, with a heavy heart, the events that had unfolded since my new mother and sisters adopted me. I told him how both my parents had insisted on it, their voices filled with a mix of disappointment and anger. "At first, I didn't want to go along with it," I confessed, remembering the initial resistance I had felt. "But my parents were relentless, reminding me that I couldn't impregnate them, so it shouldn't matter. Dillon, my boyfriend, supported me throughout this ordeal, just as he had gone through a similar situation with his own mother and others. With his encouragement, I took the plunge, losing my virginity to a girl my age. From that day onward, I always made sure to use a condom and ensured she was on birth control pills. They made it clear to me that I would die if she got pregnant. Dillon and my adoptive parents assured me that I would gain experience through this, and when I did marry my wife would love me even more because of it."
He sat there stunned for a long moment and spoke. "That is one question I am going to have to think about. But you're a smart kid, so, for now, I let you make your own choice. If it were me, maybe I would do it, because I had to then face them beating me because I would not. The morality of it is questionable, but they're right: you can't get them pregnant if they are infertile, and you would gain experience. So, give me some time for that answer. I am afraid to ask is there anything else you want to tell me?"
I shook my head no said. "Nope, that's it. I have been waiting for someone to give me an honest answer for the last two and a half weeks. So let me get this straight. Breasts are ok, penis is ok, plus have as many boyfriends as possible. And girlfriends I want, and for now, I can have sex until I learn differently. So, if I kiss you, you won't freak out."
With a simple nod, he reassured me that everything was fine. His warm breath lingered in the air, creating a sense of intimacy and closeness.
His face neared mine, and I could feel the gentle brush of his breath against my skin, a wordless request for a kiss. Without hesitation, I leaned in and passionately kissed him, my tongue exploring the depths of his mouth. I felt his eyes widen in astonishment, yet he remained locked in the embrace until I finally released him. He stared at me for a long time, breathing hard. He looked at me and said. "I thought you meant a kiss on my cheek or my lips, but you kissed me, and I mean kissed me. You did not tell me you were kissing like that with your family … only the girls you have been with."
He laid down panting and licked his lips. I looked at him, his eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and anticipation, and asked. "Is that a terrible thing because I enjoy kissing boys a lot too … more so my boyfriend Dillon, but girls have this … I do not know … a static charge that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside? When I kiss my Dad and my brothers and my best friends, it makes me feel warm inside, without the static charge. But when I kiss Dillon, it's completely different. It's like kissing a stick of dynamite. I want to experience it over and over again, just like the feeling of kissing all my nudist girls, but there's something particularly extraordinary about his kisses."
He laughed. "Son, you are one mixed-up kid, but I can't find a single reason why it's wrong because we all share germs in one form or another. I have kissed my wife and many girlfriends and my children on the lips. Mind you, not open mouth like you just did, but I must ask can I try that again?" I brought him closer, and I kissed him again. This time he kissed me back; I grinned inwardly, feeling his hard penis. He said it was ok, right? So, I reached down and stroked him.
As he kissed me, I could hear a low, longing moan escape from his lips. I turned him over onto his back and ran my tongue down his chest, immediately spitting out the stray hair. I then pointed out that he needed a shave. I asked him if I could have him orally, seeking his permission. He said. "Knock yourself out, but my wife might get jealous." I went for it, and he moaned. "Maybe not that jealous."
My adoptive Dad came over with my mother, and I was almost finished as he climaxed fully. I licked him clean as my mother looked at me as if she had never seen me before when she asked. "What are you doing Eric James Shepherd, with a man's penis in your mouth?"
Dad corrected her. "I think you mean Linda, dear … my son Eric T. Rothwell. It looks like to me he's having a snack before dinner." Dad asked. "Mr. Kenly, did he have your permission? Because if he did not. I will blister that cute tan butt of his."
He moaned. "Oh, he had my permission all right. Mr. Rothwell, in fact, when I get hard again, I know exactly who to call." I got off him and bent down and kissed me as I did him. Mom gasped speechlessly. Dad put his arm around me, and Mr. Kenly bent over close to Mom and said. "He's a great kisser as well."
Mom missed a step and yelled. "Mr. Rothwell! We are going to have a long talk! You never once said he was having sex with men!"
Dad turned around and said. "I think you mean stimulation, not sex. There is a difference, a big difference."