Azriel was true to his word.
Almost immediately after their brief conversation, the dining table was covered in thick, dusty tomes filled with unfamiliar text and symbols. It was like starting her training all over again, but at least this time, she had more work ethic.
Hope remembered the first time Freya set a Grimoire in front of her. She'd been so excited to begin practicing and using more of her powers, only to find out Freya wanted her to start with the basics of the basics.
She'd spent days mumbling and grumbling about how she already knew half the contents of the book- lies, of course- but she'd wanted more responsibility at the time.
Now, all she wanted to know was that her family was safe and her city was in one piece.
Hope glanced over at Azriel, who sat diagonal to her across the table, but when she did, he looked up and held her gaze for what seemed an eternity.
"You never told us your name." Azriel finally said softly.
"Hope."
A half-smile graced his mouth, and just as she was about to look back down at her text, she watched in confused fascination as something began protruding from his back.
Azriel stretched a set of massive wings out with a soft sigh and settled them neatly behind his back.
Pointing the end of her pencil at the tips of his wings, Hope arched a brow and smiled.
"No explanation?"
With a chuckle, Azriel nodded. "Would you believe me if I said they're genetic?"
"That depends," she drummed her pencil on the edge of the book splayed in front of her, "would you believe me if I said I can genetically turn into a wolf at will?"
"Yes." He answered with zero hesitation.
Hope couldn't help but return the smile he wore, but they both looked back down at their readings at the sound voices approaching, followed by easy laughter. Glancing up, Hope watched Rhysand and Feyre fly in, followed by Cassian, who carried Mor in his arms.
"Are you all related then?" Hope asked Azriel, tilting her head. They all did look reasonably similar in the 'everyone's insanely tall, dark, and beautiful' sort of way.
"Not by blood, but certainly brotherhood."
"Aw," Cassian grinned as he placed a hand over his heart, "that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard you say about us, Az. I'm touched."
Rolling his eyes, Azriel still smiled as he looked down at the books.
"So…" Feyre ventured as she sat in one of the seats. "You two…talked?"
Hope hesitated to meet her eyes but finally looked at her inquisitive stare. Before she could find a suitable answer, Azriel said, "We're searching for a way to open a portal to her world again."
It would have seemed like someone pulled a plug from Feyre the way she deflated.
"Oh…" She said as everyone else took a seat around the table.
How could Hope explain what she felt when she didn't even know how to feel? She was dropped into a new world, leaving her own behind to burn, only to stumble into a man she knew deep within her soul was meant to be her mate.
It was a rare thing to happen for her kind, especially being a Tribrid. She didn't have as much connection to her wolf side as others, but she knew what this feeling was. This strange but invisible string tied her soul to his.
Hope couldn't ignore it, but she couldn't embrace it either.
"I…appreciate you fishing me out of the ocean," Hope pursed her lips, "but if you knew your world was suffering because of something you did, what would you do in my shoes?"
Feyre swallowed as she wore a grim smile but nodded with understanding.
"I thought you didn't open the portal." Mor frowned.
"I may as well have…" Hope trailed off, the guilt settling in her chest. She glanced up, realizing they were all staring at her, waiting for an explanation. "I'm well-equipped with my studies, and I took on the responsibility of training someone. A girl named Cameron. She…had suffered with her previous family," she didn't expand on that; no matter what the girl did, she wouldn't air out her dirty laundry, "so I took her in and taught her to embrace her magic, but…" Hope rubbed between her brows. "I should have known better. The moment she started taking an interest in dark magic, I should have dropped her as a student. Hell," she scoffed, "the moment she opened that book, I should have taken her magic away."
Hope could have done it. She'd done it before, and it would have been justified. She solemnly sighed, "I underestimated the strength of her temptation. I set rules and boundaries, but they meant nothing in the end when she realized she could get revenge on the people who wronged her. Not to say I'm a Saint," Hope shrugged, "but if I wanted to take revenge, I wouldn't unleash the Damned into my city. I don't know how many people died. I don't even know if the portal fully closed before I ripped through the dimension. All I do know is the people I care about could either be dead or living in fear from these things in the streets, and there's not a fucking thing I can do about it if I can't figure out how to open a portal."
The table was silent, taking her words in, and Hope had to take a deep breath to calm her raging heart.
"When you opened the dimension, you were closing the portal?" Rhysand asked, leaning forward on the table. She could see the thoughts whirling through his mind.
Hope nodded. "I used a spell, but I guess the amount of power I had to use to try and close it was enough to open another portal at the same time. All I remember is white light, but it was so hot. I thought I'd fallen into Hell itself. " Hope looked down at her hand. "I was sure my skin had melted off."
Cassian visibly cringed, but Rhysand was still contemplating just as Hope's stomach gave a lurch and rumbled.
"Mother above…" Feyre frowned. "We never offered you anything to eat. Come on, let's go. You're probably starving."
Everyone seemed to stand at once, and Hope paused.
"Where are we going?" Hope asked, slowly standing, too. She stretched her back out; though the blood had done wonders, she was still sore from her travel between worlds.
"You've been cooped up here all day," Rhysand smiled, "we'll show you the city."
Hope sent a frantic glance at the volumes still sprawled across the table.
"It'll still be here when we get back," Mor squeezed her arm lightly, "you won't be able to keep functioning on an empty stomach. Let's go to The Sidra."