Yuna! Yuna!
I heard my boyfriend Seo well ex-boyfriend to be more truthful, shouting from the bedroom making his way to the sitting room with a piece of note i had placed for him on the night stand .Gosh! he wasn't supposed to see that until i had been on my way to Las Vegas.So many stories i have heard, so many lights I've seen,so many future i had imagined from and in this city. I have to go there's nothing left of me here in Andong nothing left . Not a friend, Not a family, hmmmm! Well you would ask about Seo yeah he's here, but what do you do in a place where your heart doesn't belong other than enslaving yourself and missing out ? Nothing absolutely nothing with this i have to leave far away keeping my old life and memories behind i need to breathe.
Yuna! Seo's loud voice thundered snapping me out of my thoughts. I just stood there like a lost cub staring at the man who had took me in when i lost my parents, house and money holding a note straight to my face our break up note . I couldn't help but feel guilty. Yuna ,Ige mwoyeyo?(What is this) We barely communicate with the Korean tongue, we talk to each other in English ever since we took English free classes and graduated we became fluent with the language.But today he used our mother language to talk to me i had triggered something in him. Slowly i lifted my face ready to look into his face i couldn't stop but admire him not a word could explain how beautiful he was but all this i will throw to the dust just so i can live a life i want. "Yuna Mari eomne? (You have no words) He barked i can see tears forming clouds in his left eye
"Seo Mianhaeyo, igeol seolmyeonghal su isseoyo, mideojuseyo( Am sorry i can explain this trust me)
"Seolmyeong (Explain ) Mideum( trust?
He asked the two words rolling off his tongue like a phython's venom
Las Vegas huu? he said with disbelief on his face
What do you want to explain? Mworago malhaneun geoyeyo? He turned heading back into the bed room while i follow him like a dog going after his master.He stopped in his tracks turning instantly to face me that action made me jump as i almost bumped into him. Holding my cheeks up he learned into me for a second i thought he was gonna kiss me but then he whisperedb on my face my nose taking in his morning breath " Yuna you have your suitcase packed, you're about leaving, flying to fucken vegas , Leaving me Leaving us behind my last memory of you will be this note" he held the note up i almost forgot he still had that ." And you're telling me you can explain , what do you want to explain? Las vegas ? You? Alone? Sibal( Damn) he let go of my face in a way i consider harsh and continued his journey down to the bed where he sat down covering his face with his sweaty palms for seconds everywhere went silent except of the electric hand fan he got for me last Christmas turning restlessly on the table next to the nightstand.
After what feels like forever i summoned up the courage to speak first "Seo am sorry i kept this away from you for so long i can't do this anymore I've tried for years telling myself we can be together for ever Am so sorry please "
" How is that supposed to make me feel?
Like am flying among the stars in the night or like am withering in the garden without water speaking of water, he reached out for the Binggrae Water pack on the reading table poured it into a v-shaped water class retreating to the bed. I watch as he lifted the glass to his lips taking glups with my eyes still following his right hand he held the glass refusing to drop it with his head bent down he spoke softly " What have i done? I can always change i can always do things to fit in my love, you don't need to do too much you just need to relax and watch me love you" He gets up and moves closer to me reaching out for my fallen curls "Just relax" he said fiddling with the curls . That action alone could set my middle ablase but i had to double up i had a plan and i was going to implement it ." SEO it's not about you , i whispered with my eyes closed "Then what is it about? He asked letting out a breath i didn't realise was there while tightening his grip on the water glass
"It's about me, i spat out , causing him to let go of my hair. Taking a few steps behind he looked at me like i was a specimen in his lab
" What have you done? He asked moving closer again as i took a step backward afraid he would hit me although he's never done it before but i couldn't help but fear because we're in planet earth and different things we don't call or imagine happen, just like what is happening now , Seo didn't plan for it, me going away from him had been the last thing on his mind " ooh you got laid by another man, Sabestian fucked you huh? he asked taking a step forward causing me to hit my back on the book shelf causing few books to fall off when he saw this he stopped moving "dangsin-eun balam-eul piwoss-eoyo? (You cheated) " No Seo i didn't do that i swear "
"Oh! neon hayan geosigileul wonhae? ( You want a white d*ck) "Oh Seo! dangsin-eun mid-eul su eobs-eo( you're unbelievable) it's not about dicks . Then what is it about?he barked throwing the glass he held firmly on the wall behind me this action got me terrified i haven't seen him this way broken, sad, angry " I don't love you i have tried loving you i keep on hurting myself am undergoing a torture within i need to step out i deserve happiness so do you, i cant keep forcing myself to do things I don't want to i can't keep pretending i look at you everyday and all i see is just a friend nothing more or less my heart doesn't lie here with you" By the time i was done i was out if breath and Seo just stayed at me his mouth ready to speak unsure of what to say. Finally he spoke with tears running down his cheeks
"nongdamhaneun geo maj-ji? ( You're joking right)
"ani simgaghaeyo ( no am serious )i replied softly he just stood there staring
Yuna did you ever love me? He asked tilting his head
No! i replied looking at everywhere but him then suddenly he turned his back on me facing the window and that was the last time i saw his face
Then like a soft wind blowing softly he wispered
"geuleom neon yeogi iss-eumyeon an dwae"
"Seo am i sorry i then like a thunder down the hill i was interrupted by his loud voice
"Leave! Then without second thoughts i made my way to the sitting room placing my hand on my suitcase i used the door then with one last look at the house i once lived i made my way into the streets living everything behind.