Ammesia : Blood Memory

Like an old television sputtering to life, the world flickered into view, hazy and white. Slowly, my eyes opened, and light, a reluctant guest, seeped into my heavy head. It took agonizing time for my brain to decipher the light, to translate it into a picture that made sense, a picture that told me where I was, what was happening. Finally, the fog cleared. I realized I was lying on a black mattress, my hands crossed on my chest, my back pressed against the surface. A sharp pain pulsed in my abdomen, a pain intertwined with something deeper, more unsettling: the pain of oblivion, of not knowing. What am I doing here? I asked myself. Who am I? And how did I get to this place? What in God's name is going on? The last thing I remembered was... was... I searched the empty halls of my memory, looking for the past, for my name, my family... nothing but blank spaces. Like a child thrown into the sea, helpless and without the knowledge of how to swim, that's how I felt, just minutes after waking from a sleep that God only knew how long it lasted.I rose, thankful, at least, that I remembered how to move, how to stand. But as I moved, the pain in my abdomen intensified. I was wearing a white shirt, and when my hand traced the source of the heat, of the stinging ache, I recoiled in shock. A dark bloodstain bloomed beside me on the sheet, and under my shirt was a large bandage, unable to contain the blood that oozed, adding to my confusion, piling questions upon questions. Why was I wounded? Who had treated me? I began to speculate. The most logical thought that sprang to mind was: I must have been in an accident, or an attempted murder, and I'm in a hospital now, recovering. Memory loss could be a side effect. That thought was both my first and my last comfort, a comforting explanation that I soon wished was the truth because, alas, the truth would prove far more horrible than anyone could ever imagine. The truth would be far, far worse than any lie.I glanced to my side, noticing a small table with a car key and a clear plastic pouch – the kind the police used – inside which sat an old-style mobile phone. I stared, confused. Who put this here? What was going on? Was I dreaming? Or was this the beginning of a horror movie that didn't want to start? I got up, ignoring the throbbing pain in my abdomen, my only desire to get out of here. But as I headed for the door, I passed by a mirror, and the sight of my reflection froze me in my tracks. It wasn't that my face was disfigured. It was that this was the first time I was seeing it. Was this me? This beard? This dark, almost black hair? And those black eyes, like a wolf's? My nose was long, and my mouth looked like something that belonged to the dead. Like a child first discovering a mirror, I forgot myself, fixed on this reflection, trying to etch it into my brain, at least remembering what my face looked like since I could not recall anything else about myself.Hours later, still transfixed by the mirror, a gnawing hunger awakened in my stomach. I surveyed the room and found a kitchen. I rushed there and opened the refrigerator to a feast – chicken, meat, eggs, fruits. I grabbed what I craved and started to cook. As I did, I questioned: Who brought me here? I could not have made it here on my own. Everything in the room indicated someone lived here: a neatly made bed, a stocked kitchen... Had he stepped out for a while, leaving me behind? Who knew? I finished cooking and ate until I couldn't eat anymore, like I hadn't eaten in a week. When I was done, I returned to the room where I woke up, lying down for a bit, wanting to rest... barely had I laid my head back when I heard a sound coming from my side. The phone in the plastic pouch lit up and began to ring. Like a doctor, I took out the phone from the pouch. An unknown number. I answered."Hello... Who is this... What's happening?" I shot out the questions, desperate for any answer that could explain my place in the world. To live without the knowledge of where you come from, what past has led you to this place... Memories are everything. They make a person. Without them, I felt like I was dead while still walking among the living. When I was done with my barrage of questions, I focused my ears, waiting for an answer.A mocking voice, clearly distorted, came from the other end. "We cannot tell you who we are right now. But we're happy you've woken up, Amarak."I answered, "Who are you? What is happening? Who am I?"He said, "We know you don't remember who you are. But you still remember what you used to do very well, and if you don't remember, you still know how to do it."This was ridiculous! I didn't know who he was, what was happening? I'm going crazy!He continued, "Don't think too much about it now. Little by little, you will return to normal life, and you will remember everything. And the first thing you must do to regain your memories is to come to us."I said, "I am ready to do anything, just tell me what to do?"He replied, "Take the keys we left for you. We've left a car in front of the door. Just get in, and you'll know where to find us." With that, he hung up.I questioned myself again. Who were these people? Could I trust them? Or was this some kind of sick trap? But the truth was, I had no other options, and, indeed, no other contact with anyone else other than this voice. If I wanted to know the secret behind this situation, and who I was, I had to go out and search for myself in this vast world.I found clothes in the closet that fit me perfectly. I changed and put on a pair of athletic shoes I found next to the door, I opened it, and I stepped outside. It was night, ten o'clock. Once out, I discovered I was in a huge forest. I spun in place, clueless. A little distance away I saw a black car parked on the road. I approached, keys in hand, and unlocked the door, got in, and started the engine. It amazed me how well I knew how to drive, as if I'd been driving for years.Moments later the phone rang again. I answered, "What do we call you?"The voice replied, "Call us the Organization. I will guide you to where you need to go."I asked, "Why am I unable to remember so much about myself but remember how to drive this car so well?"He answered, "Don't ask now; you will know everything later. What I need you to do now is concentrate on the road alone. Everything will come in its time."I gripped the steering wheel with all my might and drove, letting time pull me towards my destiny. The strange voice, seemingly close, guided me as if he was sitting beside me. Once I entered the city, he gave me further instructions: Go a hundred meters and turn right. Go three hundred meters and turn left... left, then right, then straight until I found myself in front of a movie theater. The voice said: "When you enter this cinema, you will know everything you've asked about. Are you sure you want to know your past?"I replied, "Of course, I want to know. Maybe I will never be able to remember or know why I can't, but I'll do anything to remember. Can you tell me who you are?"The voice answered, "My mission is over, and yours is about to begin."With that the line went dead, I stepped out of the car, swallowing hard, unable to believe I was following a voice when I didn't even know if it was wishing me good or evil. Perhaps I had even forgotten what fear or death were.People were walking in the streets, passing me by, nobody paying attention. I was a stranger among them. I saw a man walking with his wife, holding the hand of a child. My heart clenched, and I asked myself, do I also have a family, a wife, a child? A father or a mother? How could I have a family when I didn't remember any of them? And if they did exist, where were they? Were they looking for me? Was our relationship good? The short distance from the sidewalk to the theater brought with it a dozen questions, and a whole lot of pain.When I reached the movie theater, a guard stood there. He didn't say a word to me, only opened the door, and stood there frozen. As I walked in, I began to feel uneasy. Movie theaters are usually full of people, so why was this one empty, as if the world had ended and humanity had gone extinct?I continued forward, the hallways swallowing me, taking me to a single destination: a large room with rows of chairs. The theater. As I stepped inside, a voice boomed, shocking me. It was coming from the speakers inside the room, telling me: "The closer you get to the screen, the more you will enjoy the movie. Go forward."I spun in place, trying to locate the source of the voice. But no one was there. I cleared my head and obeyed, moving forward, taking a seat in the front row. The moment I sat down, the voice spoke again: "Do you know what exactly you forgot?"I answered without fear, "I forgot myself, and everything that has to do with me?"The voice asked, "What things didn't you forget?"I answered, "I remember that movie theaters are full, not empty like this. I remember how to drive a car. I remember everything except myself and my past. What led me to that house? What is the purpose of all this?"The voice let out a strange laugh, then said, "The screen in front of you will show you the last thing you did before you opened your eyes in the apartment where you came from."The projector roared to life, and the film of my life began to play. In the first scene, I saw myself sitting with a beautiful woman, having lunch in a fancy restaurant. The screen went dark, and the voice asked, "Do you know who this woman is?"I said, "No."He said, "This is your wife."I couldn't even respond before another video started. I was in a park with playgrounds for children, smiling, holding a little girl in my arms. I kissed her and placed her on a swing, pushing her gently. The screen went dark, and the voice asked again, "Do you know who this girl is?"I said, "No."Before I could comment the screen lit up again. This time, I was in a forest, surrounded by trees, the only light coming from the camera. A hand passed me an axe, and I started striking the earth, digging a large hole. I went out of frame and came back in, dragging a young girl's corpse by her feet. Her hair and head were dragging on the ground, leaving behind a trail of blood. I tossed her in the hole, and then covered her.When the screen went dark, I found myself standing in disbelief, my eyes glued to the spot. This was a lie! I shouted at the voice, "This is a lie! I cannot be a murderer! No!"He said, "You can believe what you want, and lie about what you want. But the police, when they get these videos, and there are many more, they won't care about what you tell them. If they find you, you will be sentenced to death, and worse than being executed is that you will die without regaining your beautiful memories with your wife, your daughter, your mother, your father, and all the people you love."I yelled, "What do you want from me?"He answered, "We want you to do what you know best. We want you to kill for us. And in return, we'll restore your memories. And we will make sure that what you've done will never reach the police."The pieces began to fall into place. I understood that the reason I had lost my memory was because these people wanted me to kill for them. But I wasn't a criminal! I've never been a criminal, and I never can be. What was happening? What were the secrets behind all this? And what did destiny hold for me? If you were in my place, what would you do?I raised my voice as loudly as I could, "I am not a murderer! Why are you playing with me? Why me of all people?"Then, a light hit my head. One of my old memories returned in a flash. And this memory, in turn, was scarier than all the fear that came with forgetting everything. And this is where things will become more and more complicated.