I just wanted to make them understand.
They never did.
Born as the youngest son of a renowned clan, I was constantly overlooked.
My mother was a maid born from common blood.
My father, Duke Francis, was our clan's renowned swordsman and patriarch.
He fell in love with her, and not long after came me.
My father was quite the lady's man.
He had 3 wives, and when I came along, the son of a lowly maid—I was scorned.
I grew up impoverished, though I was from a grand clan. Kept in the dark, away from the world, I started to grow a hatred for my own family.
Whenever I was seen, the ridicule would begin. My cousins, my siblings, and my father's wives would look down on me, calling me a beast child.
As I grew and obtained more freedom, it only became worse.
And at age 18, my mother died from a heart attack. She had been dealing with too much stress for too long, and even as she sprawled on the floor, others laughed and rejoiced that such a woman was gone.
I stood in the corner, clenching my fist with tears streaking my cheeks.
I tried to ask for help, begging for someone to help her, yet to no avail.
After my mother died, they claimed I no longer had any connection with the clan and kicked me out.
And yet even still, my father never came to help me.
I had given up on him, I couldn't care less anymore. He wasn't there then, he won't be here now.
And here, my hate only grew for that place.
I traveled all over the continent, looking for work, and to leave it all behind.
But no matter how far I went, I couldn't escape their grasp on me.
Eventually, I accepted it. I accepted that they won and that I was a lowly bastard.
I met a woman.
She was honestly everything I needed.
After spending much time with her, I thought I finally managed to leave it all behind.
"Please! Please stop this!"
I lay mangled on the floor, a bloody mess entirely, as I used whatever bit of voice I had to call out.
"Hehe~! Who would have thought we would find this bastard here?"
"I know right? He was smiling ear to ear with this woman!"
Two men stood over me, they taunted and mocked me with mirthful smirks.
And right before me, was my pale lover. Her body was seemingly slashed until she died.
I couldn't imagine it being real.
Just an hour or two ago I was so happy—we were so happy, and now...
With my throat having been crushed, I used whatever bit of voice I had to speak and asked:
"..Why...Why?.."
One of them looked at me, their smile gone for a second.
Before it became a wide, evil grin.
"Who knows? Just because~"
"Seeing you so happy after you're supposed to be living miserably just ticked me off," The other male said after the first.
"T-That..s it..?...all of that because...of..that?..
"Yeah, pretty much."
I clenched my fist, I felt all of that forgotten hatred flare up into a raging flame.
In my mind, I cursed them with every bit of my will.
'You bastards. All of you, every one of you, I will kill you!! I swear by everything! I promise you I will.'
The sharp glare of a sword stopped right before my determined eyes.
"What's up with that glare? Not thinking of taking revenge, are you?"
"Revenge is a fool's game~! And of course, won't work out for a bastard like you."
I grip the dirt surrounding my fingers. I bite my lip, causing it to bleed. And I glare daggers with my bloodshot eyes.
"Woah. Look at all of that fighting will." They taunt.
I use all the remaining energy in my body to push myself up.
And with teary, malicious eyes, I rush at one of them.
'I know I'm weak. I know I can't kill these two. But I want to kill them so bad, all of them. All of those who have wronged me.'
I was sent crashing to the ground with a quick slash to the back.
"Did this buffoon even think before he tried to hit someone? We have weapons, and are far stronger."
The one who sliced my back open was too busy laughing to talk.
"Kill me...."
Total defeat. It was no longer meaning to life. I had nothing. And no matter what I gained, they would rip it away from me.
"Don't make me suffer. Just kill me."
Perplexed, they both look at each other.
"Woah now. Where is that fighting spirit? You're giving up like that?"
If they didn't purposely kill me, I would have to make them too.
I got on both feet and dashed straight for one of them.
They side-stepped, hitting me back down to the dirt.
As he backed up, I grabbed his blade.
"What the?... This lunatic, let go."
'It hurts. It hurts like hell. But this pain is nothing compared to my life as a whole. So just kill me, you cowards!"
I jammed my own throat on the end of the blade.
The two of them had their eyes widened at my sudden action.
"Gah... what the hell is wrong with him?"
"We were even gonna let the bastard live."
As I choked on my blood, memories flashed in my brain of my life.
Though I expected to only see the bad, I saw the good.
My mother, my lover, and even one of my close friends.
'At least I can see them all now.'
[How pitiful.]
[Truly a sad sight...]
[###### favors you.]
[Your misfortune has turned into extreme fortune.]
[ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR]
[The newly appointed host is dying.]
[Looking for a solution.]
[...Failed!]
[Looking for a solution.]
[....Failed!]
[Searching through memories, soul, and deepest desires.]
[Ding!]
[Solution found.]
'What...am I hearing?...'
[###### is intervening to help.]
[Solution has been approved.]
[Turning time back 15 years...]
[%....]
A bright light and a warm feeling. That is how I can describe my death.
And then came fuzzy eyes, and a familiar face.
"I have to get going, but I made you your favorite meal. I'll be back soon. I love you, son."
It was a sweet voice that couldn't be replaced, one full of misfortune and love.
Instinctively, I latched on.
"Oh! What's wrong my son? Why are you crying?..."
I even felt her hand caress my cheek, trying to prevent my tears.
With a "Hik!" and sniffle, I wipe my tears.
"I love you too, mom."