//tw: Depression//
Kino woke up to the suffocating darkness of his room. He reached for his phone and squinted at the screen. 4:30 AM. Thirty minutes of restless sleep.
He let out a shaky sigh, running a hand through his unkempt hair. The thought of getting out of bed filled him with dread. It had been weeks since he last attended school.
"What's the point?" he thought bitterly.
He turned on his side, staring at the ceiling. His chest felt heavy, the silence around him oppressive. Memories of the past few months churned in his mind, each one sharper than the last.
At the start of the school year, Kino's life had been ordinary. He wasn't the most outgoing person, but he had a tight-knit group of friends. School was manageable, and home felt like a safe haven.
Then...just a small change and everything changed.
He had grown taller over the summer—towering over most of his classmates—following which Hana, his older sister, had helped him update his wardrobe, which now made him standout from the crowd even more and suddenly, people started noticing him.
"Kino, you've grown so much!"
"You look so cool now!"
The attention made him uneasy. He never liked being in the spotlight. He wanted to fade into the background, but the whispers and glances followed him everywhere.
But it was still okay, after people found out that he was still the same, except for some, the curiosity of most people faded, well except for his height and looks nothing had changed substantially. He thought things will continue to stay the same, well, it was the silence before the storm.
On the day the first rain fell, someone confessed to him.
"Kino," the class belle had said, cheeks flushed, "I like you. Will you go out with me?"
He blinked, stunned. But it took him less than a second to comprehend and respond."I… I'm sorry," he stammered. He could see that her fingers were trembling, she was serious and hence deserved his respect. He explained, "I think you're amazing, but ...I'm not ready for a relationship."
To his response, she had smiled, even though the disappointment in her eyes was clear to see, she acted maturely. "I understand. Thank you for being honest."
He let out a sigh of relief, and he thought that this would be the end of it.
Wel,....it wasn't.
---
The next day, Daiki, his best friend came to him. Kino was glad to see him as Daiki had gone for an overseas trip and it was the first time he saw him in 2 weeks, but Daiki didn't share his sentiment.
"Kino," Daiki called out, his tone cold, "do you think you're better than me?"
"What? No," Kino replied reflexively with a confused look. "What are you talking about?"
"You rejected her. The girl I've liked for years. Do you know how humiliating that is for me?"
"It's not like that, Daiki. I—"
"Save it."
From that day, Daiki stopped talking to him. Soon, the rest of their friends followed.
Kino was left alone, he was isolated from everything.
---
The rumors started not long after.
"Did you hear? Kino has some weird disease."
"Yeah, that's why he rejected her."
"Maybe he's… impotent."
His classmates avoided him like the plague. His locker was vandalized regularly, he would find his books soaked in dirty water when he came back from PE and his belongings thrown around.
Even when the class belle approached him again, with concern in her eyes, he waved her off. "I'm fine," he said, forcing a smile. He didn't want to drag her into his mess, and somewhere deep down, he probably blamed her for everything even though he knew that she wasn't at fault, but with how things were, he couldn't stay rational for long.
He wasn't fine.
He couldn't stand this and wanted to complain but who should he complain to? He didn't know and he didn't know what the consequences of it will be. He also knew that he couldn't tell his parents, he really didn't want to burden them with these things, so he just thought to cut everything at the root. He stopped going to school. He thought maybe things would be different after a week, but after he spent a week doing nothing, he thought he was lagging behind in academics and those people will probably use this to make him suffer, so he thought to take another week off to study, but it went by just like the first one...he just didn't have the energy to do anything, just like that it turned into vicious cycle
---
Now, lying in bed, Kino felt like he was sinking into quicksand. His appetite was gone. His books, once a source of comfort, sat untouched. Even scrolling through social media felt like a chore.
His phone buzzed.
Hana: Hey, how's school? Eating properly?
Kino stared at the message, then typed back:
Kino: I'm fine.
No, he wasn't.
---
Weeks turned into months. Kino stopped going to school altogether.
One day, hunger forced him out of bed. Pulling on a hoodie, he shuffled to the door.
But the moment he stepped outside, panic gripped him.
The sunlight was blinding, the air suffocating. Every person on the street seemed to be staring at him, and they seemed to be whispering something.
"They know."
His heart raced and his breath quickened.
"Why are they looking at me?" he muttered under his breath. "Do they think I have that disease?"
He couldn't go further took large steps back, almost stumbled back into his room, as he slammed the door shut, keeping himself closed off from those prying eyes. His knees buckled, and he collapsed to the floor.
"I can't do this," he whispered, burying his face in his hands.
The tears came suddenly, and flowed violently. He cried until his chest ached, the sobs wrecking his body.
---
That night, he started hearing voices that were deriding.
At first, they were faint.
"Look at him. Pathetic."
But soon, they grew louder.
"Kino, you're useless. No one cares about you."
"Why don't you just disappear?"
He pressed his hands over his ears, shaking his head. "Stop. Stop it!"
But the voices didn't stop.
---
One night, as he lay curled up in bed, a new voice cut through the darkness.
"Do you want to leave this world?"
He froze, his breath hitching.
The voice was cold, and mocking.
"You don't belong here, Kino. No one would miss you. Let me take you away."
He didn't respond. He didn't have the energy to.
---
His phone buzzed again the next morning.
Hana: Kino, pick up the phone! I will be back tomorrow. What happened baby brother? I'm worried about you.
He ignored it. His parents had also called, but he let their messages pile up.
---
By now, Kino rarely left his bed. The voices were his constant companions, their taunts cutting deeper each day.
"You're a failure."
"You'll never be enough."
"Just do it."
He didn't know how much longer he could take it.
One morning, the voices reached a crescendo. Kino sat on the floor, gripping his hair, tears streaming down his face.
"Please," he whispered. "Please just stop."
But they didn't.
Finally, he gave up.
"Please take me away"
No one at school reported Kino's absence. His classmates didn't care. His teachers didn't ask questions. His parents assumed he was attending, and Hana thought he was busy studying.
By the time anyone realized something was wrong, it was too late.
Months later, Hana stood in his empty room, clutching a photo of them as children.
"I should've seen it," she whispered, tears streaming down her face. "I should've done something."