Merline got into his door, locked it, and leaned back against the wooden frame, much like the last time he returned from a Rift.
His state, though, was much different from the last time. Last Friday, he returned home in a state of panic and was injured after a scuffle with the lowliest of monsters. This time, he was calm, relatively uninjured, and fully clothed.
He couldn't help but look down at the wand he still held in his hand. Almost the entire way home, he had it in his lap, lazily running his fingers over the runes etched into its side. The feeling was similar to when he got a new piece of expensive technology, like his drawing tablet. It felt so sleek and real. He couldn't wait to try it out some more and learn all of the intricacies.
He sighed and fished his phone from his pocket, having turned it on during his drive back.
Past the cracked screen, he saw messages from Mark and Sarah, each having texted him several times on his longer drive home. It was clear that they were worried about him, but he had decided that he needed to give himself the drive to recompose himself. Even though things went much better in this Rift, he couldn't get over the fact that he'd had to fight for his life several times in what felt like the last 24 hours.
How long was I gone for? Man, that time-dilation effect from the higher rarity Rift is going to mess me up for a while.
He fumbled to unlock his phone and did some mental math. It was now 8 pm, much later than he'd intended to be gone. He'd left his apartment that morning at around 8 am. Even though he'd been gone for a full 12 hours, he'd lived through something closer to 18 or 20 hours, with his time spent within the Rift being counted as double.
Those guys mentioned that they weren't sure how aging worked. I should look into that some more.
It was a chilling thought, and he decided to look it up on The Guild forums later.
Merline: Hey guys, sorry I went a bit dark. Everything is fine. I'm at my place now. I know we were going to meet at Marks, but just come over whenever. I've got to shower up.
After sending the text, he shoved the phone back into his pocket.
He glanced around the room and noted that it was pretty clean, with the exception of a few dishes still in the living room. He walked over and picked them up while fixing the pillows and giving the counter a quick wipe. Not wanting to waste any more time, Merline moved his new Rift gear and pack into his closet and hopped into the shower. Merline knew that when his friends arrived, they would just let themselves in.
As the water heated up, Merline caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, which made him double-take. While he didn't often think that he had a manly appearance, Merline couldn't help but smirk at himself in the reflection. This was a look he'd never seen before.
His brown eyes were a bit bloodshot but looked hard and serious. His face had some smudges of dirt on it and a bit of 5 o'clock shadow was beginning to show around his chin. He also had a scratch on his cheek that he didn't remember getting.
I look… different.
Looking at the rest of his body, he gave a slight frown. Merline had always been a skinny kid but gained some unwelcome weight during college. While he wasn't fat by any means, he hated the way his belly looked soft.
He jumped into the shower and washed away the grime and sweat. While soaking in the warm water, he wondered if he'd be able to lie to his friends and wondered what he should tell them.
A short while later, he'd put on some clothes and was in the kitchen making himself a bottle of water when he heard the electric keypad to his door being activated.
"Dude! Where the hell have you been?" Mark asked before he was even fully in the door. "Sarah's been freaking out."
"Shut up. You were freaking out more than I was."
Merline could hear Sarah's voice and see Mark stumble into the door. He could imagine Sarah shoving him from behind.
"I was… busy," he said lamely. "Sorry, I should've called."
"Yeah, I tried to call you a few times, but it just kept going to voice mail," Mark said.
"Uh, I've been trying to mess with my phone's Do Not Disturb mode when doing things with my family. You guys know how my mom gets if I'm on the phone."
Neither of those are totally a lie… Just not very relevant to today's situation.
Mark walked in and stood across from Merline on the other side of the island countertop, while Sarah walked toward the coffee table in front of the TV and set down two plastic bags.
"Family stuff?" Mark asked. His eyebrows came together a bit, "Dude, I was worried you got mixed up in one of those Awakened fights from the news."
Merline shrugged and scratched the back of his head, unable to meet his friend's gaze. He went back to pouring the water into his bottle, "Yea my parents needed some help around the house and when Jake showed up the whole dynamic changed."
Fuck. That one was totally a lie.
He felt horrible about lying, and he knew he wasn't even a good liar. If it weren't for his parent's reputation for being unreasonable, he wasn't even sure what he would give as an excuse.
He could see Sarah narrow her eyes from the corner of his vision, though she stayed quiet.
Sensing the momentary lull in conversation, Mark launched into an excited recap of the latest Rift sightings. "Well, if you were at your mom's, you probably didn't see that video from Philly? There was this one awakened-guy that was shooting lightning bolts from his eyes! I mean, we've seen laser beams from eyes in movies, but literally, lightning was shooting out of this guy's face!" Mark laughed, turned back to the open section of the connected living room, and flopped onto the couch.
"I didn't see that one. Was it on Nexus Hub?"
"Yeah, I'll see if I can pull it up."
Mark found the video in short order and tossed his phone to Merline.
Sarah unpacked the Chinese food from containers and laid them out on the coffee table.
"Man, how awesome would it be to have some powers like that?" Mark stared at the ceiling while lying on the couch and raised his hand into the air, no doubt imagining some kind of magical light show.
Before Merline could answer, Sarah cut in. "Mark, cut it out. I actually wanted to mention that to you guys tonight. Stay away from this stuff. It's seriously dangerous. I can't get into specifics, but we're starting to get people in my clinic who are being affected by these Awakened. Their lives are getting torn apart."
Merline felt his stomach twist. He knew that Sarah's clinic worked with veterans suffering from PTSD.
"So, some of the soldiers that are coming back…" He said, letting it hang in the air.
Sarah nodded her head. She pushed her blond hair from her eyes as she kept unpacking the food containers.
Mark scoffed, but Sarah pressed on, "I'm serious. If you could hear some of the stories I get… even from the civilian side of things. The nightmares people are having… They are worried that the walls of their house might blow up again or that debris could land on their car while driving down the road."
Their overzealous friend did seem to temper his excitement after that.
"Okay, I can definitely see how it would be a problem. Wow, they never mention any of that in the Marvel movies…"
Merline patted his shoulder and decided it was a good time to try and change the subject.
"So," he intentionally dragged out the word, hoping to make light of the somewhat tense atmosphere. "Have either of you put up Christmas decorations yet? I feel like the whole city is slacking this year with all the Rift craziness going on."
Sarah blinked at him, her mental gears shifting. She smiled and shook her head. "Oh gosh, you're so right! My parents have been hounding me about getting a tree up, but I just haven't had the time…"
Merline could feel the tension in the room ease as they fell into some familiar conversation about the upcoming holidays and picked at cold Chinese take-out. He sank back into the couch, feeling the familiar comforts of his home and the closeness of his friends settle over him. Merline nodded along as Mark ranted about their infamous ugly sweater party from a few years ago, saying that the three of them should try to organize another event this year.
After a while, Merline got up to reheat some of the food that he still wanted to nibble on. Over the hum of the microwave, he could hear Mark and Sarah talking to each other in low voices.
"… seems really off, ya know?"
"...You know how he gets when he's…"
His shoulders sagged, and he scratched his forehead as the guilt formed a pit in his stomach. He stared at the spinning container of reheating noodles and the faint reflection on the microwave's surface.
This isn't going to last.
"Alright, spill."
Merline had closed the door behind Mark after he had decided to walk home.
"Huh?" Merline said. He turned and found Sarah standing from her spot on the floor in front of the wooden living room table.
"What's going on with you, Merline?" Her voice was more firm than normal.
"I told you, just some family stuff." He said.
Merline tried his best to seem casual as he waved his hand and smiled.
"I don't think so. That story doesn't add up. You didn't even tell us what you helped them with; you just said 'something. '"
Merline opened his mouth to reply, but Sarah cut him off.
"Merline, I can read it all over your face. You were only partially in the conversations all night." She sighed and walked to him before putting her hand on his arm. "You know you can trust me, right? Whatever's going on, I'm here for you, no judgment."
He swallowed hard and avoided the sincerity in her eyes. Part of him really wanted to share with Sarah. With their past and her knowledge from working as a psychologist, it normally helped him a lot to talk to her about his feelings.
But this felt different.
It might feel good to offload some of this and share it with someone, but she's clearly not a fan of everything that's happening with the Rifts. What if she thinks I'm a freak or something now?
"I- I can't. I'm sorry, Sarah."
"Try me." She challenged.
He shook his head and took a step toward the kitchen to create some space.
"Alright, I'll make a deal with you then. Tell me the truth, and if you say it's your parents again, I'll give your mom a call and check out the story. If it's really what's happening, our next group sushi outing is on me. If it's not, you tell me what's going on."
Merline stopped mid-step.
Shit.
He turned to face her, knowing he'd been caught. "No."
"No? Then tell me what's going on. No more lies, Merline. We don't do lies between the three of us." She looked at him, almost pleading.
Merline sighed and decided to cave in.
"Alright, alright. Fine. You're right. I wasn't at my parents." He said.
He began walking to his bedroom, and as she was about to say something, he held up his hand to forestall her questions.
Returning a moment later, he held out his hand and heard her sharp intake of breath.
"Oh…"
"Yeah."
There was a tense silence as he held the wand out between them.
"I- I became an Awakened a few days ago." The words came out slowly at first before he began to rush in his explanation. "The Rift appeared a few blocks away from me last Friday. I didn't really plan to go over there; it was just so close, and I was so curious, you know? Like- Sarah, it was seriously an entirely different world when I went in there. Now I've got this System and skills and a really stupid Trait…"
He rambled on for a few minutes, Sarah listening patiently and nodding at the right times.
"Merline, this is incredible." She smiled at him slightly, but the concern was clear in her eyes. "But it sounds so dangerous. You can't keep throwing yourself into these situations. We're already seeing cases equivalent to PTSD from active war zones. People are coming in with night terrors, panic attacks, and severe anxiety or depression. These are real life-and-death situations."
You think I don't know that?
"They are terrifying. I know how real it all is. But something about it keeps pulling me back in. I want more, Sarah. I'm sorry if you don't get it."
"Oh, I know you well enough to at least get an idea of what's going through your head, Merline."
Merline restrained himself from flinching.
Sarah smiled at him wryly. "But you know I'm not going to just start analyzing you and giving you advice unless you want it. Ask, and I'll be here for you. If you need help working through any of this or your feelings, you just need to let me know."
Some of the tension left Merline's shoulders.
Of course, she'd offer to be there for me. Fuck.
He scratched his head. "What about Mark… you know, if I'm interested in this stuff, he's probably going to do something stupid as well."
"Ideally, yes, you should tell him as well; however, I can understand if you don't want to go there yet. He would probably go on and on about wanting to do it as well."
Merline sighed.
"I won't tell him, but you really should soon."
He nodded.
"Merline," she said. When he made eye contact, she said in a soft tone, "No more secrets, okay?"
He nodded and gave her a hug. At the time, he had only been thinking of himself. Because of her past, he knew how much lies and the truth meant to Sarah.
I really should have told her.
"Okay, no more secrets. I promise."