I stood at the subway station, waiting. I hated waiting. I knew that the thing I was waiting for was bad news, so I was nervous. Wait, why was I nervous if I knew what would happen?
The subway station was almost empty, as it was 11:49 at night. The only other people at the station were tired businessmen who worked overtime, probably yearning to see their wives at home, or a few teenagers returning from their "hang-out sessions," likely somewhere downtown. It was a school day tomorrow, so not many kids were out. I still had homework since I was in my third year of high school, so I had to sneak out of the house (my parents would disown me if they knew I was out past curfew).
A few minutes passed, and as everyone left, I was greeted by a quiet, empty void. Then came the next subway.
A figure came out of the subway. I met eyes with the girl who walked out. Her name was Karina Kana. She had eyes so brown they made her look sweeter than chocolate. Her long, brown hair flowed like Niagara Falls. Her fair skin felt like it glowed, like a fresh bed of snow in the morning. She was shorter than me, maybe 5'5, and had a slender build (I'll admit, her chest is pretty modest, but don't tell her I said that). There was no single word that could describe her. The closest word I'd use is… heavenly.
"Yo," I said, as I was trying to hide my stress. "What took you so long?"
"I was doing my makeup," she replied apologetically. "I wouldn't meet my boyfriend if I didn't look my best, would I?"
Boyfriend, huh? Being a boyfriend is a funny thing. Sometimes they are as close as family to their girlfriend (or boyfriend, I don't discriminate). Other times, they are the source of their anxiety, causing the girlfriend to be nervous for no apparent reason. At least that's what I think it's supposed to be like, after watching My Demon on Netflix. Me and Karina's relationship was different from the norm, though.
I replied to her in a tone so sarcastic it rivalled Chandler Bing. "Not really necessary when you're going to break up with the boyfriend, is it?"
"Don't be like that. We had fun while it lasted."
"If it was so fun, why couldn't it last longer?"
"Nothing lasts forever, Yuri."
"Then why couldn't you be my nothing? Why did it have to end this way?"
She turned her head to the ground. I could've sworn I saw a single teardrop land on the ground, but I had never seen her cry before, so I wasn't sure. She was always calm and reserved, no matter what the situation was. It was kinda… cool? I'm not sure how to put it, but I admired her.
It took her a while to answer. "You knew this was going to happen before you came right? I know you're smart, Yuri. You knew. But you still had to make this so difficult… why?" She asked in a trembling voice.
And at that moment, time stopped for me. I wasn't sure what to do. I have always acted on emotion and impulse. Yet, Karina was always by my side, like a calm angel on my shoulder. She was like the Raven to my Beast Boy. If she cried now, I might start crying too. Fuck.
"I don't know," I answered as calmly as possible, so she wouldn't start crying. "But you're right. I knew this was going to end. I knew, but I still called you out. Sorry."
She looked me in the eye with a sad smile on her face. I didn't want to lose her, but if this didn't end here, it would end more painfully in the future.
Karina let out a sigh. "I should be the one that's sorry," she apologized. "But you know why I have to leave."
I knew why. I knew she had to go. I knew I wouldn't hear from her until I was, I don't know, 30.
"I'm willing to wait for you."
She shook her head and paused briefly as if she was finding the right words to say to me. After a short moment that felt like a year, she finally replied.
"I love you, Yuri."
I was taken aback. Although I was given the title of "boyfriend" by her, we never really told each other anything to show affection. Sure, we had too many great memories to count, but those were all because of our actions. I can still remember when we went to the Distillery District together. Her smile shined so bright, and her hands were warm and soft to the touch, which made all the hand-holding a burning memory. Maybe actions didn't speak louder than words.
Maybe it took me too long to reply since Karina already started to leave. I watched as she walked away, back into the subway. Strangely enough, there were more people in the station than before. Or maybe I was imagining it? I'm not too sure, I couldn't think straight, to be honest.
I'm not sure how I got home that night. I snuck back into the house somehow. I don't remember if I changed out of my clothes. I don't remember much after watching Karina leave the station, and simultaneously, my life. I don't remember if I even brushed my teeth before going to bed that night.
My bed was pretty comfortable. The blanket was warm, and my pillow was firm yet soft if that makes any sense. Some would say I was in the best environment for sleeping that night, but I couldn't. I was wide awake, replaying the interaction at the subway station. All I could think of was the line that Karina said. I don't think I'll ever forget it.
I sat on the edge of my bed, my hands clutching the blanket like it could hold me together. My chest felt like it was caving in, and every time I blinked, I saw her pretty, deep eyes. Damn it. I wiped my face, but it didn't help. The tears just kept coming. Her voice echoed in my head as if it was a climber yelling after reaching the top of Mount Everest. It was bittersweet. I love you, Yuri, Yuri, Yuri, Yuri, YURI, YURI!