Hey, I'm just an average guy.
I'm 15 years old and just entered high school.
My life... I hate it.
I don't know how to fix this at all.
When I walk, I look like a robot.
My friends tell me to walk normally, but no matter what I do, I end up looking stupid.
Sometimes, people even call me a girl because of how I walk.
It pisses me off so much.
I've tried everything, but I still can't figure out how to walk "normally."
From my perspective, it seems fine, but apparently, it's not.
I really don't know what to do anymore.
I know you probably don't want to hear my sob story, but please, hear me out.
There was this girl I liked.
I don't know if she liked me back, but she talked to me a lot.
She always told me it was okay and that the way I walked was natural.
This was back when I was 12 or 13 years old.
One day, I finally found the courage to tell her how I felt.
It happened at school, in middle grade.
We were at the spot where we usually sat and talked.
I decided that if I didn't tell her then, I might never get another chance.
So, I just said it: "I like you."
But I said it in Dutch since that's the language we speak in my country.
She looked at me for a moment and simply said, "Okay."
I can't remember much after that.
She didn't reject me, but she didn't accept me either.
We kept acting the same as always.
I wish I could see her again because she was the kindest person I ever met.
Her name was Quarium.
I know it sounds like I made that name up, but that's really her name.
Anyway, back to high school.
I have friends, and they don't seem fake or anything.
My grades, though... they're all over the place.
Sometimes I get the best grades in class, and other times, I get the worst.
Our grading system goes from 0 to 10, 0 being the worst and 10 being the best.
Oh yeah, my family situation... it's not good at all.
We're broke.
Sometimes, we even struggle to get food.
My mom talks to other men for money.
My dad works really hard, but my parents' relationship gets worse every year.
I overheard my mom talking about finding a house with my older sister, so I guess we'll be moving soon.
I feel bad for my dad because he tries so hard to keep us together.
My mom, in her own way, is trying too, but she's going about it all wrong.
Man... my life sucks.
I sometimes dream of escaping to those fantasy worlds from anime, novels, and manga.
It's stupid, I know.
I remind myself every time that it'll never happen.
Anyway, thanks for reading this.
I hope you have a great day.
Tomorrow's Christmas, so Merry Christmas.
Bye.
- Kazr