*The Adventures of Maxi*
I'm Max, but the ladies call me Maxi. I live in the "B" wings, which, as you might have guessed, stands for "Boys." Mr. Handsome, our caretaker, named our section that. He separated us from the "G" wings, which I think was a bad idea.
As I look out of my window, I see the "EPL" wings, which stands for "Egg Production Ladies." They're beautiful, but they're always locked up tight. The funny thing is, there are no males in the "EPL" wings. They all lay eggs. What's the fun in that?
When any of the "EPL" ladies manage to escape, even for a few seconds, we take turns... well, you know. We fight a lot, but they're hot, and we can't resist.
"Hey, dude, you fucking gone deaf or something? Move!" My friend Mark yelled at me. Mark's the second runner-up for the most handsome rooster. He's got stylish feathers and well-done nails. His dad was the most intelligent rooster in his time, but Mark... well, let's just say he's not the sharpest tool in the shed.
"Come on, boys, it's time for bed," Mr. Handsome said, interrupting our conversation. We all settled in for the night, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.
The next morning, Mr. Handsome announced that it was Christmas. I didn't think much of it, but the old ladies and gentlemen seemed worried.
"Hey, uncle, I heard Mr. Handsome saying something about Christmas," I said to one of the older roosters.
"Why are you all so quiet?" I asked.
"We're worried," one of the old ladies said. "Christmas is a bad time for us. Strangers come and take our loved ones away."
I didn't think much of it, but then I heard a loud noise. It was the strangers, and they were taking us away.
"Run!" one of the older roosters yelled.
We all scattered, running as fast as our little legs could carry us. But it was too late. The strangers caught us and threw us into cages.
I was alone in the dark, hot cage. I thought about my friends and our life in the coop. I wondered what would happen to us next.
Suddenly, I heard a voice. "Welcome, sir."
"I have one more in the booth. Get it out," another voice said.
The cage door opened, and I was lifted out. I saw a bright light and felt the warmth of the sun on my feathers.
But then I was carried away, locked in a small cage. I was hungry and scared.
"What's your name?" a female voice asked.
"I'm Max," I replied.
"Well, aren't you a sexy baby?" she said.
I was taken aback by her forwardness, but I played along.
Just then, one of the strangers came over and opened our cages. He handed the female chicken to another stranger and then handed me over.
"Okay, I am tired of seeing strangers," I said.
"Shut up," the stranger replied.
He held me down, stretching out my wings and legs. I let out a loud scream as he brought a sharp object close to me.
And then everything went black.
When I came to life, I heard a voice saying, "Sir, your chicken stew is ready."
My heart sank. I realized that I was destined to be someone's Christmas meal.
"Merry Christmas," the voice said, as the stranger carried me away to my fate.