As a school with centuries of magic in its veins, Hogwarts was not a place where one could simply step into the role of a professor.
Over time, particularly due to the lingering curse on the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, the job requirements had been reduced. Yet, the fundamental duties—correcting homework, drafting lesson plans, producing papers—still fell squarely on the shoulders of the professors. These repetitive tasks had become a part of the job that none could avoid.
But to Dracula, these tasks were nothing but trivialities—tedious, boring, and beneath him.
So, he devised a plan.
...
"Are you absolutely sure you want to hire Quirrell as your teaching assistant?" Dumbledore asked with a gentle, yet exasperated, tone, while comforting the now-frightened Phoenix, Fawkes, who had been frightened by Dracula's unexpected arrival.
Despite what most people believed, Dracula had the deed to Hogwarts in his possession. With that, came full authority over the castle. The intricate anti-Apparition wards and various defensive spells had no control over him. He was free to roam every inch of Hogwarts without a hint of restriction.
This time, he had Apparated straight into Dumbledore's office, startling Fawkes as the bird fluttered about in a panic.
Dracula stroked the trembling creature in Dumbledore's arms, his cold fingers brushing gently over the bird's feathers. He then took a seat across from the elderly wizard.
"Of course, I have no interest in dealing with those mundane tasks," Dracula remarked casually, plucking a blood-flavored lollipop from Dumbledore's hand. He popped it into his mouth, savoring it with an air of satisfaction.
"Didn't you plan to hire Quirrell as your assistant? His teaching skills are adequate, aren't they?"
The idea pleased Dracula immensely. Not only would it free him from the boring duties that the position entailed, but it also presented an excellent opportunity to observe Quirrell up close. It seemed like a perfect arrangement.
Dumbledore, though, appeared less enthusiastic. His hand rubbed at his brow, a subtle sign of the headache he had been nursing.
"Truth be told," Dumbledore began, his voice taking on a serious tone, "the Defense Against the Dark Arts position at Hogwarts has always been notorious for its... challenges. No reputable wizard would willingly take it on. So, while I don't know much about Quirrell personally, he has shown a genuine willingness to take up the role. I've extended an offer to him, as it's rare for someone to express interest in such a position."
He paused, adjusting his glasses, his gaze now shifting to the window as if lost in thought.
"At this point, the school year is fast approaching, and our budget is tight. We simply can't afford to hire an additional teaching assistant."
Dracula's lips curled into a sly smile, his eyes glinting with a peculiar amusement.
"That's a minor issue," he said, biting into the lollipop and discarding it out the window with a flick of his wrist. "I'll just have half of my salary go to Quirrell. A simple adjustment, really."
He leaned back in his chair, confident and self-assured, a sense of timeless wealth radiating from him.
"I've accumulated riches for centuries. It's nothing for me to offer a little more to ensure things run smoothly. You can simply send a letter to Quirrell, asking him if he's interested. As the true majority shareholder of Hogwarts, I don't think it will be too much trouble."
With a resigned sigh, Dumbledore reached for a quill, his movements deliberate as he wrote the letter to Quirrell, offering him the position of teaching assistant. He sent the letter via owl, watching as the bird flew off into the sky.
Dracula, seeing that the matter was now settled, rose from his seat, walking towards the window of Dumbledore's office.
"Just one moment, Professor Dracula," Dumbledore called, his voice cutting through the still air.
Dracula turned slowly, raising an eyebrow in mild curiosity.
"Are you free at the moment?" Dumbledore asked, a slight twinkle of curiosity in his eyes. "The professors will be gathering soon. Would you care to join us for a meal in the auditorium? It would be a good chance to familiarize yourself with the others."
Dracula stood motionless for a beat, the faintest smile pulling at the corners of his lips.
"I'm always curious about the dinner guests," he said softly, his voice a mixture of intrigue and amusement.
---
Dracula decided to make his way to the auditorium to meet his fellow professors. After all, they would be colleagues for a long time, and starting off on the wrong foot would make it difficult for him to enjoy his time at Hogwarts.
Accompanied by Dumbledore, he went down the rotating staircase from the principal's office on the eighth floor to the fourth floor of the castle. They turned a corner, then circled around and descended a long stone staircase.
"Honestly, it's much easier to just jump out of the window," Dracula muttered, finishing yet another blood-flavored lollipop.
"Professor Dracula, you must remember, soon you'll be an official professor," Dumbledore replied with a sigh. "As a professor, you're expected to set a good example for your students. If some troublemakers start jumping out of windows after seeing you, Madam Pomfrey will never let you hear the end of it."
"Besides, to keep those nosy parents from finding fault with Hogwarts, you'd better hide your vampire traits. Nico mentioned that, unlike other vampires, you're capable of doing this... at least a little," Dumbledore added with a knowing glance.
Dracula's lips curled in annoyance. "It's truly a hassle."
With a resigned sigh, he retracted his sharp teeth, unwilling to cause any more inconvenience for now.
---
They continued their walk through a wide marble staircase until they finally reached the entrance to the Great Hall. As they stepped inside, a tall, thin witch with black hair, wearing an emerald green robe, approached them with a stern expression.
"Albus, the quality of our staff really needs improvement," she complained. "Can you believe it? I almost got hit by a lollipop when I was passing through the courtyard, and the students haven't even arrived yet!"
Dracula froze. He instinctively hid the blood-flavored lollipop behind his back and incinerated it with a quick flick of black flame.
"Minerva, I'll make sure to remind them," Dumbledore said with a suppressed smile, gesturing to Dracula. "This is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Brag de Gula."
"Professor, this is the Vice-Principal of Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall." He introduced the two of them.
Professor McGonagall turned toward Dracula. As her eyes landed on his unique face, a flicker of surprise crossed her expression, but she quickly composed herself. With a polite smile, she extended her hand.
"Hello, Professor Dracula."
Dracula shook her hand, returning the smile.
At the commotion, other professors began to emerge from the crowd, drawn by the arrival of the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. One by one, Dracula shook hands with the strange and varied Hogwarts professors. There was Professor Flitwick, the head of Ravenclaw, who was barely taller than a house elf. Professor Sprout, the head of Hufflepuff, whose thick patched hat was covered in mud. And Professor Kettleburn, who had only one arm and half a leg left.
The professors seemed to look at Dracula with a mix of pity and curiosity. One witch wearing thick glasses, gazing at Dracula, let out a soft sigh.
"Why can't such a handsome man choose a different position?" she murmured wishfully.
Dracula's lips twitched at the comment.
Why do I get the feeling that this whole professor gig was arranged by that old guy, Nico? he thought to himself.