Day 3
2:48 PM
Days and weeks pass by ever more quickly amidst this calm. Yet, I cannot immerse myself in the same tranquility, both due to my ominous premonitions and the lingering sense of unease.
All of this feels like a dream, which is nothing but falsehood, an illusion.
As I walk down the hallway, I hear Ailiss calling me.
"Hey, Mistkerl. You need to attend the meeting called by the student council."
"What meeting is that?"
"It's more like a committee on some boring matter. I promised Mikoto I'd help with the student council tasks, but I'm already regretting it," she leans against the hallway wall and crosses her arms. "And since I don't feel like listening to nonsense, I've decided you're going in my place."
Did she decide all that without even consulting me? How reasonable of her. I wouldn't expect anything less.
"Alright," I sigh. "But what's the committee's agenda?"
"I wasn't paying attention, but it must be some useless subject."
That doesn't help me. If you're going to ask for a favor, at least inform me properly about what it involves.
"Okay… I can still ask Mikoto or Haruki about it."
"I don't think you'll have time; the committee is supposed to start in a few minutes."
"What?! Which building and room is it in?"
If I didn't know her better, I'd assume she's just messing with me, but her level of disdain makes this very typical of her.
"I don't remember either. Good luck figuring it out," she turns her back on me.
Could this be classified as abuse? Certainly… but I don't see any grounds to protest.
...
I find the classroom, and it's essentially a proposal Keiko brought up about our peers' mental well-being.
"Kaichou, I ask you to consider allocating part of the student council's efforts to organizing school events, as was planned in our academic calendar. I know our priority is finding a way to escape, but we need to maintain the student body's mental health," Keiko argues.
Haruki adds:
"Our situation in this game is indeed very serious, but it's under control. So I don't see why we couldn't dedicate some effort to this kind of leisure."
Mikoto then speaks up:
"Does anyone here wish to comment on or modify the proposal presented?" she surveys the committee in silence. "Very well, I see no issue with this. What do you think of the suggestion for part of the council, or even the majority, to focus on organizing this event while a minority, along with myself, continues working on the investigations?"
"In favor," says Miyu, who is on the committee.
"In favor," says another student.
The table proceeds to show unanimous support for Mikoto's proposal.
"Abstention," I say when it's my turn.
Everyone looks at me with confusion.
I can see that popular pressure will suck me into participating in these events, which I have no desire to join. Now more than ever. But a vote against it might be too alienating.
"With only one abstention and one hundred percent of valid votes in favor, I grant you the freedom to proceed with organizing the event," Mikoto proclaims.
...
"Isn't it great?! We'll have sports competitions, course fairs, and so many events simultaneously! There's so much that I don't even know where to focus!" Miyu comments excitedly.
"As usual, I'll stick to the manga club activities and stay far away from sports," Manabu responds. "What about you, Shoucchi?"
"Isn't it obvious? Swimming! I can't wait to see the girls in swimsuits," he grins.
"Gross..." Miyu murmurs. "Besides, I don't think this event will happen in the winter season."
"Damn, you're right! Now what?! I need to check with my sources which event will suit me best..."
"There's probably going to be a maid café activity. Even though they're 3D girls, it gives off the slight impression of having a 2D soul while they act. We could stop by there—what do you think?" Manabu suggests.
"Look at that! We found common ground!" Shou laughs. "Want to come with us, Johann?"
"No, thanks... I'll keep working with the student council and focus my efforts on finding a way out of this place."
A big lie... At this point, it's clear there's nothing left for me to test.
Still, even if I were interested in these events, I couldn't allow myself to relax with them as if nothing had happened.
Being forgiven once might be understandable. But to fall into disgrace a second time would be to discard any past or future redemption.
"Such a buzzkill... Fine, then."
Knowing they couldn't convince me otherwise, they give up.
My aura must be so negative that even they are becoming aware of it.
...
I head to the student council room to continue our futile investigations. However, as I approach the entrance, I come across the vice-president, Tanaka Takashi.
He looks at me with a dark expression before walking away.
It was only a matter of time before he showed hostility, given the awkward situations Mikoto has been putting me in.
Naturally, we don't have an enjoyable history. If I were vulnerable again, he'd surely show his claws.
After the tension of this encounter subsides, I enter the room and see Mikoto and Ailiss sitting motionlessly.
"So? Any new ideas?" I ask.
"None. I believe we should step back from this issue for a while. Perhaps after some time, we can reassess the scope with a fresh perspective and build new hypotheses," Mikoto replies.
"Did you change your mind about the meeting?"
"Well, only you and Tanaka-kun chose not to focus on the festival. Otherwise, I believe it would be unproductive, so I canceled our agenda and dismissed him to help with his class activities."
It's evident that obsessed as he is, he'd never stop hovering around her.
"Oh, does this mean you two will participate? I have to admit I'm surprised."
"Do you really think I'd want to socialize with this bunch of idiots?" Ailiss furrows her brows.
Indeed, knowing Ailiss, her aversion to social interactions is even greater than mine. On the other hand, although she only engages in impersonal ways, Mikoto handles such relationships with mastery.
"My role as president is only to deliver the opening speech. To be honest, I haven't thought much about participating. In previous years, I only managed the administrative side of things. However, since we can't import any resources to the school this time, there's no reason for me to work," Mikoto places her fingers thoughtfully in front of her lips. "Well, until some interesting activity shows up, we could spend this time playing chess."
"I'll get the board," the other replies, standing up.
As for me... I think I'll spend this festival the same way I've spent all the others: hidden in some corner.
…
I feel the cold winter breeze as I observe all the commotion around the festival. I decided to retreat to the terrace of the main building and stay here until the event ends.
However, based on rumors I've overheard, they plan to extend the festival for a while longer. I'm not sure how good of an idea that is, as it may soon lose its value.
Important dates are significant precisely because they are rare. If every day were your birthday, the concept of a birthday would quickly become just another ordinary day. The same will happen with this festival.
The door to the terrace opens, and I have unexpected visitors.
What are those two doing here?
"Did you get tired of chess?"
"Actually, we were worried about you. How long do you plan to stay isolated up here?" Mikoto asks, approaching me.
What kind of concern is this?
"I thought you weren't against social isolation, especially you, Ailiss."
"You're not isolating yourself just for the sake of it. There's something more, isn't there?" she replies.
"Of all people, I thought you would understand me… after all, you've taken actions similar to mine. When I look at the palms of my hands, I see them completely red," I glance at them. "There's no place for me. I can't afford to walk around as if nothing has happened."
"If that's the case, you know as well as we do that we're just as stained by this sin as you are," Mikoto replies.
"Don't compare yourselves to me. My case is much worse. The repetitions that followed your attempts to save me were covered in madness. And when I finally achieved some redemption, I threw it away again, falling back into the abyss. You were making mistakes without being aware of your past errors; I was just sinking deeper into the mire of my sins."
"We are aware of that."
"To what extent do you remember?" I widen my eyes.
"At first, as we explained that day, we only remembered our suicide attempts. However, shortly after, my memories of all the time I remained passive began to be gradually restored. The same happened to Ailiss."
If that's the case… why are you still questioning me?
I bite my lips, clench my fists, and start speaking.
"If you're aware of the actions I took… I was so desperate that I even decided to confine you… how can you tell me everything's fine?! Death only took you in those painful ways because I was conducting my idiotic experiments!" I raise my voice.
"You said it yourself; you were desperate. Perhaps I would have thought the same thing in your place," Ailiss comments.
"We can say for ourselves that we hold no resentment for the actions you took. Perhaps others would feel differently, especially your friends," Mikoto continues, speaking calmly.
They've forgiven me? No, this isn't right… it's definitely not right for either of you to forgive me, nor for them.
"I betrayed them, and it wasn't just once… Clearly, they wouldn't react this way."
"In that case, the solution is quite simple. Keep quiet about it," Ailiss suggests.
What are you saying? Should I pretend nothing happened? I killed everyone in this school in my vain attempts to save you both. There's no way I can comply with this request.
"Leaving them in ignorance won't change what happened. That's not right…"
"Don't you remember what you once said about what my father would think about my revenge? Think about the impacts of your decisions. The crimes the three of us committed did indeed happen, but the current versions of all of them are here alive and breathing. Telling them about what we experienced—will it affect them positively or negatively?"
I understand what you're saying, Ailiss. It makes sense from a strictly consequentialist perspective, but it's not what I want. I can't be at peace with this.
"This is literally deceiving them. In other words, a false relationship, a lie."
"You can see it that way; after all, the three of us are great pretenders. However, what Ailiss says makes sense. What will they gain from knowing the truth? Only more torment. These versions of them did not go through any of that, and your repulsive behavior will only make them more apprehensive."
In other words, it would be like fabricating a lie for someone on their deathbed, telling them they're going to a better place.
She continues.
"Think carefully. Stirring up their hatred might serve as a punishment for you, but what good would that do in the end? We will still be trapped here anyway. You cannot forgive yourself, and we understand that. However, you can still use falsehood, not for yourself, but for them, for us," she smiles. "If your true self is rotten, hide it. Share it only with those who will accept it—share it only with us."
Well… certainly, the end for everyone in these repetitions won't be pretty. If I need to lie to ease their journeys here, perhaps it's a small way to make amends.
Once again, I hear the door to the terrace open.
"Yukihara-san, it's time for the opening speech of the musical festival," Takashi says.
"I am aware of the time, but thank you for letting me know," Mikoto replies as she leaves the terrace.
"We'll let you decide which path to take," Ailiss says, following her.
The two leave the location, but Takashi lingers, staring at me.
Seeing her here with me will probably increase his hostility even more.
"Do you have something to discuss with me?" I ask.
"No, nothing," he also turns his back on me.
...
I walk through the hallways and see that practically all the classrooms are being used for various activities.
"Johann-kun! Over here!" Miyu waves.
I walk over and see her dressed in a bear costume.
"What are you all doing?"
"Our class is putting on a play. Kobayashi-san is organizing it. All our classmates are participating."
Ah, this is a pretty typical cultural festival activity. Given the low temperature, most people will probably choose this kind of activity over outdoor ones.
"And what's the play about?"
"It's an original story—the class wrote it themselves. Don't you want to join, Jocchi?" Manabu asks, dressed as a wizard.
"No, I think I'd better not."
Shou, dressed as a knight, grabs my shoulder.
"Come on, if you don't want to attract attention, at least be Tree Number Four. Meanwhile, I prefer being at the center of attention for the girls, hahaha!" he boasts.
A tree? I guess I can at least make that effort.
"Shoucchi, but we're just background characters, too," Manabu laughs.
"Alright, where's the tree costume?" I ask.
"You're going to join?!" Miyu exclaims excitedly.
I nod, and they smile.
Is our friendship a fake gem? Probably… But maybe it's better to let them go with smiles and laughter.
...
After the performance, I meet with the two girls again.
"Great performance—you'll probably be nominated for Best Background Role," Mikoto teases.
I definitely excelled at standing still and lightly shaking the branches.
"Did you come just to ridicule me afterward?"
"Something like that," Ailiss replies.
Confirmed bluntly? Well, she's honest as always.
"Well, you succeeded," I say as I remove the branches from my costume.
"Are you planning to join any more activities?" the other asks.
"I think I've fulfilled my quota of social exposure."
Those three must already be satisfied with convincing me to participate in a class activity for the first time.
"Since you are free, how about coming with us to eat something?" she shows a bento bag.
"How kind of you. Do you want to expose me to the envy of the other boys? By the end of the day, I'll have a wanted poster in the hallways."
"We could eat on the terrace—there's no one there. Or, if you prefer, at my old hideout," Ailiss suggests.
Well, it won't snow today, and with the clear sky, we can see the stars. Still, it's a rather suspicious invitation.
"If that's not the case, then what's the prank?"
"We just wanted to spend some time with you during this festival. I do not know if we'll have another opportunity like this," Mikoto looks at me mockingly and adds, "And after all, you are our boyfriend."
"Boyfriend?" I start laughing.
"What's so funny?" Ailiss asks.
Surprised by her response, I ask:
"Do you agree with that term?"
"It's a fairly accurate definition given our relationship," she replies seriously.
It's not something I expected her to say openly—perhaps Mikoto has influenced her a lot during this time. Still, her response makes a lot of sense. Our relationship is indeed a mess, but there's no reason it couldn't fit that term.
I decide to tease them a little in return.
"I'd say it's quite an exotic relationship. Maybe servitude with some affection from the mistresses suits it better," I pause. "Alright, let's go. But be discreet. If it becomes public knowledge that I'm 'dating' one of you, I'll be hunted by the entire student body."
"Of course, we will be completely discreet. However, I cannot promise anything about this staying a secret. You know how rumors spread uncontrollably," Mikoto says mockingly.
This is clearly a threat. My reserved life could end at any moment—with this kind of weapon, she has me in her hands.
Despite their toxic personalities, I definitely can't deny their goodwill to help me. Still, giving myself over to such peace is a barrier I can't break through at the moment.