Given everything I have just discovered, I realize there is no other way. From now on, I must stop merely reacting and following her orders and start making my own decisions. For once, I will stop being a supporting character in my own life and actively fight in this game.
"Mikoto, you don't need to act as bait tomorrow," I say, turning to her with all the determination I can muster. "Don't worry because I'll do it in your place."
"Do not be foolish!" she exclaims, her eyes wide as she abruptly stands. "I could never let you take responsibility for my mistake. I was the one who conjured this environment. I am the one responsible for all the suffering you are enduring. Therefore, I must end it, no matter the cost. This is my responsibility and mine alone," she replies, staring at me intently.
This is the first time I have seen her raise her voice and act impulsively. It's almost as if I can see the person behind the beautiful icy facade that covers her.
A simple fact like this, which might go unnoticed by others, is an eternally gratifying gesture for me.
"I've already decided, and nothing you say will change my mind. I promised you, remember? We're allies, so your responsibilities are also mine. And if you truly care about atoning for your mistake in conjuring this game, stay alive and help others when the game ends. You've a leadership capacity I'll never possess, so use it to guide them."
The trace of defiance in her expression fades during my reply. After a few seconds of silence, she speaks again, this time with a faint smile.
"You have surprised me. I never once thought you cared about the collective well-being. Seeing you play the hero is the last thing I expected to witness in my lifetime."
Hero? I think everyone, at some point in childhood, dreams of a future worthy of being called heroic.
"I hate to disappoint you, but you're completely mistaken. I don't care about the collective. In fact, I could not care less about the other students. What I said was just an argument in my favor to make you change your mind. It doesn't matter how many leave here alive or not. My intention is not, and never will be, to save them—but to save you."
Mikoto's eyes widen. Then she closes them, steps closer, and wraps me in her arms.
"You are truly a fool... You ruined my plans, and I am very frustrated by that," she whispers in my ear, her voice heavy.
She hugs me tighter and tighter. There's nothing more to do but reciprocate. Similarly, I imitate her gesture and pull her closer.
Since I'll likely be walking toward the gallows, I can at least afford the luxury of having her with me at this moment.
At first, this might seem paradoxical. I've always seen her as a cold person, but I can feel the warmth emanating from her body, enveloping me completely.
Right now, I believe we're both suffering from the same affliction: guilt crushes our wings, and only one can help the other fly again. Knowing I can do something for her is so comforting; it makes everything seem worthwhile.
And after this strong embrace within her arms, I feel renewed. The determination that has always been absent in my life ignites like a mighty flame. Finally, I have a desire—there is something worth fighting for, something worth risking everything for—and that reason is right in front of me.
We step apart. I look into her still-troubled eyes and then bid her farewell.
"For now, rest. I need you in the best condition to lead this band of reckless youths. See you in the morning."
She bites her lip in resignation and silently watches me leave the room. The hug she just gave me was more than enough to convey how I feel about her. We don't want this end, but we have no other choice. Fate tends to be cruel.
For a long time, I mocked those who fell for the charms of this ice queen. I don't retract everything I thought, yet I surrendered myself to her—not to the queen, but to the person behind her. Even someone as independent as her cannot fight alone all the time. I'm convinced this is the role I must fulfill.
I descend to the room I use as a dormitory and observe through the window that even more snow is falling on this cold night.
Day 6
9:47 AM
Early in the morning, we organize ourselves to find Ailiss's location. Once again, we split into groups and begin the search. After some time, Haruki and Natsuki manage to identify movement in one of the school's older buildings. All indications suggest she's hiding in the abandoned basement of that block.
That old block had always gone unnoticed by me while at this school, but now I feel a certain unease about it.
When everything is in place for our offensive, I suddenly receive word that Mikoto needs to speak with me before we attack the enemy base. Despite finding this sudden summons strange, I decide to visit her to see what it is about.
"Haruki informed me that you wanted to tell me something. Isn't everything ready for the attack?" I ask as I enter the council room.
"Yes, everything is as planned. I just wanted to confirm something before it all begins. Have you not changed your mind? Do you still intend to go through with this?" Mikoto says, standing with her back to me, her palm resting against the window glass as she gazes outside.
Why is she bringing this up again? I thought we'd resolved this between us. What are you trying to achieve with these sudden mood swings?
"I am certain of it. I thought I made myself clear. I'll kill Ailiss and end the game right now."
"I have thought more about our conversation last night and concluded that I disapprove of your decision. You still have an entire life ahead of you. You do not need to do this," she says, turning to face me.
An entire life ahead? She doesn't know how wrong she is about that.
"No, I don't," I reply, passively lowering my gaze.
That would be better described as mere existence. My life before this incident was always colorless. There was nothing I wished to achieve; I just wanted time to pass quickly. But I found her—my light—amid this hell.
"And in any case, we already discussed this last night. There is nothing more to say," I raise my head and conclude.
"Yes, we discussed it. However, I have thought better and changed my mind; nothing is surprising about that. I regret having accepted your proposal."
Changed her mind? Right now?
"Fine, and why did you abandon my idea?" I ask.
"Did I not already tell you?" she smiles. "I feel about you the same way you expressed last night: I do not want you to die. I also want to save you. Being the only one of us saved would be meaningless to me—it would be unfair," she says with determination.
I won't deny that this is gratifying to hear. However, it conflicts with my more significant interest.
"I thought I convinced you that it is more important for you to survive than for me."
The beautiful president lowers her head, moves closer to me, and gently places her hands on my shoulders. Then she continues speaking.
"Johann, the truth is, I never intended to die," she shakes her head. "The only idea I changed was exclusively about you. I want both of us to get out of here alive," she says, locking her eyes on mine. "We do not have much time to go into details, but I will just say that I deeply regret my conduct last night. I know it will be difficult, but please forgive me."
Forgive her? Mikoto, what are you talking about?
She lets go of my shoulders, walks to the door, and leaves me speechless, alone in the room.
10:21 AM
The shattering of glass. Echoing screams. A trail of blood.
"Help!"
I run at the sound, likely caused by gunfire, and then come across numerous corpses scattered across the hallway floors.
The entire group of students who had settled in this classroom has been massacred...
There is no other explanation for what happened. She has finally lost her mind. Ailiss has stopped holding back on whatever her plan might have been. Killing one student or another was an effective tool to disrupt the council's organization and create chaos. But why act this way now when she has already achieved her goal? She seems to be killing just for the sake of it.
There is no sign of who issued the cry for help—it could have been anyone now lying at my feet amidst this horrifying sea of red.