Chapter 11
A New Life
Things never work out as you plan, as my new brothers rudely awakened me all wearing nothing, but the loincloths made of deerskin and leather. I had to laugh seeing my brother Aaron was wearing one, but soon stopped laughing as Mr. Downing walked in and closed the door with mine in his hand. I felt slightly embarrassed, but my Grandmother's words about my two choices still echoed in my mind: either I wear them or toss the dice. Jeff seemed amused as he watched Mr. Downing dress me in the same style as theirs except to make allowances for the bandages.
It became clear that Downings disregarded the strict rules of my parents regarding modesty, resulting in the burning of the Eskimo suit or its non-existence here as it did with the Frys and Steeds. I trusted my grandmother if she found any part of this lifestyle immoral, then she would not feel comfortable about me being here. Wearing a little clothing that kept me decent enough in her eyes, but it still made me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable showing this much skin without a bathing suit.
Mrs. Downing knocked on the door, letting them know everything was ready outside as Mr. Downing carried me down the hall and outside; where I found a Teepee sitting in the middle of the yard, and my Grandmother laughing with the girls watching my face turn red with embarrassment. She knew I was shy when came to strangers and she knew how my parents felt about it. She just didn't agree with their logic behind it.
With a warning glare and kiss on the cheek, she calmly said. "We were trying to figure out a way to get you out of the bed to prevent bedsores. I figured it couldn't be any worse than you are crossing town in your boxers." She did have a point, but the blush wouldn't go away. Instead, I could feel it deepen to almost scarlet. Finding out the boys decided if it helps get me over the shyness so Mrs. Downing could bathe me to prevent the infection from coming back; they were willing to endure it to if that was what it took. Goodbye Eskimo suit.
Robert stated it was Will's and his idea, so I wouldn't be stuck in bed or in a boring room all the time. And had something I could wear that wouldn't interfere with the bandages around my waist and legs. (Personally, I think I would have preferred my boxers shorts than showing this much skin out in public.) It all came down to choices and trust. I trusted Jeff, and I trusted my Grandmother with my life. Not once have they disappointed me or not been there when I needed them.
Jeff was laughing so hard he nearly fell off the porch, not that it mattered as no one saw him except me and Mrs., Downing when she said. "It seems your friend finds it funny. Perhaps he would like a loincloth, too." Jeff stopped laughing and glared at her which made her laugh while everyone else was thinking she has lost her mind. Since they couldn't see Jeff, I could completely understand.
Grandma said. "Where is he? I like to give him a piece of my mind." Jeff vanished not taking the chance of a tongue lashing from her. Who could blame him? I'd run to if I had the chance. Mr. Downing laid me down on the mattress he had set inside the Teepee and Grandma brought in a large metal washing tub and set it down in the middle. Having Robert and Will fill the tub with warm water while Julie brought in clean towels and bandages.
It didn't take a rocket scientist to know what they intend to do; watching Mrs. Downing bathe all the boys and my brother as I laid there; feeling very uncomfortable while my Grandmother sat on my bed next to me tried not to giggle. When it was my turn, all I could do was grin and bear it. They both took their time having their way with me while the boys watched all with red faces and green ones when Mrs. Downing cleaned the dry blood and the yellowish puss from the wounds between my legs.
There was nothing I could do as my Grandmother held my hands from trying to cover up. "No! don't you dare!" Stopping my hands from covering up; she wanted me to know this was no way to act as she bent down close to my ear telling me to be still. While her eyes roamed over the boys standing with a towel around their waist. Telling me that there was nothing to be ashamed of. It was almost a week before I came to understand she was right.
I'd like to think I don't have that problem today because of it and have been through worse embarrassing situations since then. While others seemed embarrassed, I could stand there in all my glory in front of any woman doctor or nurse without turning red. I was proud, and I knew I could endure it without feeling embarrassed. So can my brother today as he remembers it clearly the day? We all lost our virginity not in a sexual way, but something that means a whole lot more.
I hated knowing that my brother was leaving, and it still felt that my Grandmother was abandoning me. But I had no doubt that she was doing it for my own good, and this was no different from the many times they had placed me in a new home. I needed to know what love felt like after so many beatings.
The transition was easier this time as Mr. Downing held me in his arms, as everything that I loved most was leaving me. I asked if it was alright if I just called him Pa. I could feel his tears on my bare shoulders as he said it would be an honor if that's what I wanted. He wasn't about to force me if I didn't feel comfortable doing so. From that moment on, he became the father I have always wanted. I knew I would be safe in his arms and that's what I wanted most to feel loved and safe. And I knew without a doubt he loved me and so did his wife as and his family that I was now a part of.
I was the happiest boy in the world, with a new Ma and Pa and two sisters and three brothers that loved me and I loved them. Jeff was right. I could trust them if only I would give them a chance. Jeff lingered around as we talked about my choices, helping me realize that sometimes bad things had to happen to experience the really good things like the Steeds and the Downings and even the Frys. But no one deserved to be treated how my parents treated me, and the others like them. It seemed that Jeff was leaving me to for a time, but he always came back to check on me every so often and depending on the trouble I got myself into.
Ma was there for me in ways no other mother was. We had torn down the tepee a week ago and my wounds were healing slowly before the state came by to check on the status of my care. Somehow the paperwork got lost about total custody or had expired, not sure which. All I knew it was bad, because Jeff seemed agitated again, which was always a bad sign. I soon gathered it had something to do with my parents requesting them to return me to them and my brother Aaron.
The girls sent home weeks ago after determining that there was nothing wrong in the home to raise concerns about its safety. My parents were outside, standing next to the car; to take me away from the only family I had and loved more than life itself. Personally, I don't think that they looked all that hard. After all, how could you miss the anger that burned in their eyes as they stood there waiting to take me away just because I was happy where I was?
They glared at me while I clung to Pa as he held me against him protecting me, but seeing my father glared at me caused me to be scared enough that I had an accident as I felt the warm pee run down my leg making a puddle where I stood. Pa calmly squeezed my shoulder, letting me know they were not going anywhere near me. Pa had Robert and Will to take me down the hall so they could help clean me up while he dealt with the problem at hand.
He reassured me that there was no way I was going anywhere. Even though it felt uncomfortable still wearing the loincloth now slightly wet in front of strangers and my parents. I hobbled between my brother Robert and my brother Will. I trusted Pa with my life and did what he said. While my parents glared with such hate as I turned to look back. There was no way Pa was going to let them take me. Just the mere thought of it and what my father would do to me the second he had me behind closed doors scared me enough to lock the bathroom door.
It was also the first time I had seen him so angry except the time he stood protecting me from my parents. What was it going to take for them to leave me and my brother alone? Ma calmly took charge of the situation not saying her voice didn't sound angry would be a lie. While she quickly gathered my papers stating that they are the ones that had full custody, not my parents, and not my Grandmother.
Slamming down the papers in front of them with all the legal signature saying otherwise. "It is going to be a cold day in hell before I see him placed back into that home!" My Pa growled angrily, picking up the phone and called my Grandmother to find out what was going on and placed a call to Doctor Hatfield. Of course, Doctor Hatfield arrived first and within thirty minutes soon after, so did my Grandmother with my brother in tow. There was no way I was leaving as my Grandmother backed them into a corner while my parents waited outside.
I had every right to be concerned. Somehow, my parents found a way around the system since the Downings were not foster parents, which didn't make me a ward of the state. They had very little rights about custody rights. But Doctor Hatfield had all the proof he needed to keep me in the home for now until a State official and a Judge could qualify them to be foster parents, which in turn made my parents furious as my mother yelled. "It's nothing but lies! Not once have we ever laid a hand on our children!"
Somehow, by some miracle, the authorities saw it differently. After reading the reports and seeing the pictures and seeing the wounds personally themselves, well the ones that hadn't healed and the deeper bruises that were still a dark purple. After reading the reports, seeing the pictures, and personally observing the wounds, they quickly set an appointment and later discovered that a local judge, Judge Parker, was a friend of my Grandmother's. They would find a solution to the problem of total custody. Come hell or high water, according to my Grandmother.
She had other things on her mind when it came to my brother's safety. She didn't want to chance it; decided that it would be better if we're both together under the same roof. Providing it didn't add to the stress. Pa and Ma wanted nothing more than to take my brother in full-time, instead of the staggered visits every so often. They wanted a place where he, too, could have a home that loved him. So, the family decided and moved him into the same room as Sam after taking a vote. Yes, sir, the house was getting smaller as Pa once again organized the shuffling the very next day. Having Robert and Will move in with me with a bed against each wall and closet stuffed with more clothes than I thought boys like me dared to dream of. Except for the simple fact that I still didn't have any of my own, and I couldn't wear any due to all my injuries.
My Grandmother was madder than a wet hen when she discovered the only clothes that I and my brother had been nothing but rags. Not even a hobo would wear, and my shoes weren't any better, when she dangled her fingers through the many holes on the sides and the bottoms. Without hesitation, she threw them in the garbage. I simply said, "You know, Grandma, I always hated shoes."
She leaned down and kissed me on the cheek and said, "it still is no excuse to have shoes so bad that needed replacing as those do." But she knew me very well not to argue this point; heaven knows they are the first thing I toss either in a corner or at a person who deserved a nosebleed or a fat lip. My Ma and Pa didn't seem one-bit surprised watching Aaron and Sam run down the hall barefoot. Ma simply said. "Boys will be boys and I love them more than what is on their feet."
But we all know that no one could go without shoes forever. But summer was still young, and I hated shoes with a passion. Eventually, I knew I was going to have to wear them if I wanted to go anywhere out in public. For now, it was a problem for another day as a time for the appointment became closer and the day arrived. With a new caseworker from family services and the well-groomed Doctor Hatfield, with his hair slicked back and mustache trimmed to perfection.
It was the first time I had met Judge Parker in person, even though he was the local judge. I never had the privilege of standing in his courtroom while my parents waited to pick me up from the police station. After having run a way for a week or longer, it was the school that notified them that I was missing. And it was more than being absent that concerned them. It was the bruises that brought them unwanted attention, which only made matters worse.
Somehow, they believed them when they said that. "He has been sick, and we kept him home to recuperate. "He must have gotten those bruises from bullies in the neighborhood." They believed them when they said that, similar to most people who refused to believe a child could be abused in a home like this. Just because they were LDS; and had a high standing position in the church. They dismissed or swept it under the rug once more, avoiding involving a judge to remove the child based on false speculation.
Judge Parker aka Brad T. Parker: Judge and Mayor of Santaquin county. A fair man and considered to be an honorable man in his late sixties; graduated the top of his class at Harvard University at twenty-six, Married Mildred F Swanson soon after, raised ten children. Seven boys three girls, his youngest child was off seeing the world and studying to be a lawyer for defenseless children and married a congressman a Republican running for mayor somewhere out north last he heard.
Standing at a mere five feet two, with brown eyes and an oval complexion, he was as bald as they come, not to mention no bigger than Doctor Hatfield. As he buffed his head until it shined, he reminded me of a lemon. He was someone who could take one look at you and knew what you were thinking. I knew without a doubt if I was on the wrong side of the law, I should be worried about getting the gas chamber. I had learned from my Grandmother that one thing he couldn't stand for was being a liar or parents that abuse children. So, I knew I was getting a fair shake the moment he stepped in the door. She thought it best not to be here during the interview. That way, the decision would be impartial.
The other man in the room who would become my new caseworker; Mr. Jonathan Wells; a tall and slim man, with raven black hair that matched his dark brown eyes, he reminded me of a car salesman that had something to hide carrying a light brown briefcase. For some reason, he seemed a tad off the normal scale, but Jeff assured me he was good at his job and wouldn't let me fall between the cracks in the system. How he knew he wouldn't say, at least for now, anyway. To me, his suit looked expensive and there was such a shine on his shoes you could see your own reflection. Ma didn't seem to like him either, noticing Jeff with a slight nod of the head.
Ma, I had a nice long talk about Jeff, and why she and I were the only one that seemed to see him. She said ever since she had Julie and nearly died from childbirth sometimes, she could see beyond the shadows. Cemeteries still creep her out from time to time as a stray ghost would roam lost in between life and death. She believed that Jeff wasn't lost.
Somehow, he became tied to me like my special guardian angel. That is why he always knows when I need him the most. According to her, if it wasn't for him, they wouldn't have found me lying in the road bleeding to death. Which only brought more questions that Jeff refuses to answer; either way, I enjoyed having him around. And I thank God for sending him to me instead of leaving his soul in torment, or I think it would have been according to most religions.
But I take things at face value, not something that could be true had no sway with me. To say I believe people that remain as a ghost instead of going to heaven or hell. I am very much conflicted about their points of view. For one thing, he is the only ghost I have ever seen and communicated with on a daily basis. Cemeteries don't creep me out at night knowing that they won't harm me and have slept better knowing that and have slept many a night in them. And not once have I ever seen a ghost-like Jeff, but the vibe I got seemed peaceful.
Mr. Wells was a man all business, with his dark brown suit and red tie tucked neatly inside. Personally, I thought it was too hot to wear a suit in this heat and time of day when the sun was at its highest. He thought so too as he wiped the sweat with his folded handkerchief. Apparently, he doesn't leave the office much are knew how to act around people like my Ma and Pa. But he was all business up front and personal. Even with his nose in a thick file with my name on it. You could see his eyes looking over at us like caged mice. It was a very uncomfortable feeling when his eyes raked you like you were his last meal. Trust Jeff to like him when Ma and I agreed that this guy was trouble with a capital T.
And it came to that, the seconded he grilled my Ma and Pa with a question that I thought was none of his damn business. Not just about age and how many children they had and their ages. He wanted to know how their sex life was and how strong they felt about each other and their children.
To say it rubbed me the wrong way would be true enough. It was even worse when he wanted details about domestic fights between each other and their children. You can't say he didn't give it his best. Taking each of the children into a separate room and having Doc examine them from head to toe while he stood and watched. Only allowing Ma and the girls dressing gowns and while my brothers waited with nothing but their boxers as they sat waiting for their turn.
For a while, I thought Pa was going to deck him before he even went in the room. But Doc Hatfield convinced him that everything was on the up and up. That he would be the only one that would do the examination and the female that was with them who I had never met in until today seemed to look straight at Jeff, making him feel agitated as he paced after seeing her.
Somehow, Jeff knew her and wouldn't say anything about her. I know, I asked until I was blue in the face. All he said was she had something to do about setting things in motion. Like that helped not to know which advents he was talking about. He wouldn't clarify it, but I had a really bad feeling that something more was taking place somewhere else. I'd tell you more, but you would have to read; Coming of the Storm is my third book in the series to find those answers. Trust me it will blow your mind. Not everything I write in there is fiction.
It wasn't long before Doc had examined everyone under the Downing household including me, while my brothers sat in the room with a simple ok from Pa about secrets. He believes firmly in confronting them head-on, so nothing hid in the shadows. Which was unfortunate for me having to retell and confirm every tiny detail that was in my chart or not. Mr. Wells wanted it all regardless of how terrifying my waking dreams were.
He justified his actions by stating that he wanted to ensure fair treatment for everyone when it comes to abusing children. He wanted to make sure this home was not anywhere close to the horrors I had already gone through. Once again, I turned to Jeff and asked. "Do you really trust him?" Without a doubt was his reply. So once more, from the top, I gave him every detail that you have read to this point. But Ma still didn't trust him as she took the folder out of his hands and made sure everything I said was written down and skimmed the file herself.
Even though I have never lied to her or Pa for that matter, it was nice to see that the truth was in my favor, as she questioned both Mr. Wells and me about the facts that seemed sketchy in some places in that thick folder. I felt proud for not having told one lie that would haunt me or diminish me in her eyes. I loved her more, if that was even possible for it. Once everything in the thick folder seemed in order to Ma. She held me close to her and nearly squeezing me to death with several kisses that extended down from my head to all the way down to my wet cheeks. I knew without a doubt she loved me more than my mother would ever love me.
But the moment he mentioned getting paid to love me was the last straw. As she backed him into a corner while Pa guarded the door. I knew he was about to die. It was even worse when he explained that my brother would have to be returned to my parents within six months, if not sooner. Providing they showed any improvement and that as foster parents even though they had full custody of me and award of the state. Home visits were mandatory until proven otherwise.
Which nearly got him decked by Pa while Doctor Hatfield and Judge Parker kept him from killing him; they compromised. Nothing would require me to be in that home at least for a couple of years. Again, it relied on my parents' ability to handle raising three children. Pa and Ma wanted a guarantee that if anything happened to me or my brother while in their home. Come hell or high water they were going to jail, end of story.
That included leaving me and my brother staying in this home until we were old and gray; whatever came first. There was no way I was leaving this home just to be put back into the system, and she made that abundantly clear. After Ma and Pa signed every document and re-signed by Judge Parker and Doctor Hatfield. They considered it to be set in stone.
I never saw a man run fast enough to get away from my Pa or my Ma. But he did, for his feet never touched the ground while his companion chased after him carrying his briefcase. Yes, it was going to be a new life and I couldn't be happier, as Jeff had seemed to vanish before I could even say thank you. But I knew he would be back. After all, he was my guardian angel.