Shinji stared at the ceiling, his chest rising and falling in uneven breaths. His hand throbbed, the cuts shallow but relentless in their sting, the glass embedded in his flesh a cruel reminder of his earlier outburst. The room smelled of copper and antiseptic, though no one had come to tend to him yet. He didn't call for help; part of him didn't want it.
The mirror had been the catalyst, but the anger had been simmering for weeks. A visceral need to break something, anything, had boiled over. And now, lying there with his hand bleeding, he wondered if he'd broken himself instead.
The voice of Yu echoed faintly in his mind, her encouragement, her belief in him. She had always been there, her presence steady and unwavering. But what if she was wrong? What if there was nothing left of the Shinji she remembered? He clenched his jaw, the sting in his hand grounding him for a moment.
With a grunt, he sat up, wincing as he accidentally pressed his injured hand against the bed. He inspected the damage under the dim light, watching blood pool around the shards of glass still lodged in his palm. It should've made him feel something, regret, maybe. Pain. But instead, it just felt… empty.
The thought of cleaning it up, of pulling out the shards and bandaging his hand, felt like an insurmountable task. Still, he forced himself to his feet, stumbling slightly as the weight of his exhaustion pressed down on him.
The bathroom was cold, the floor tiles icy against his bare feet. The shattered mirror greeted him, its jagged edges reflecting fragments of his image back at him. A piece of his face here, his bleeding hand there, but no whole picture. It was fitting. He crouched slowly, his legs trembling slightly, and began picking up the larger shards.
As he worked, his mind wandered, unbidden, back to the breach. Back to the battles. His Jaegers were supposed to protect him and by extension the people, but in that place, they had been as much of a cage as a weapon. He had spent weeks at a time linked to Striker, losing track of where the machine ended and he began.
Now, here in this room, without the Jaeger, without the battles, he felt adrift. Striker had been his anchor, and now it was gone. Saber Athena, Titan Redeemer… they weren't the same. They weren't his.
"Shinji, what are you doing?"
The voice startled him, sharp and worried. He looked up to see Yu standing in the doorway, her face pale as she took in the scene. The shattered mirror, the blood on his hand, the glass on the floor, it all painted a picture she didn't want to see.
"I'm fine," he said, his voice hollow as he looked away.
"No, you're not." Yu stepped into the room, her shoes crunching softly against the glass. She knelt in front of him, her hands reaching for his injured one. He flinched but didn't pull away.
"I said I'm fine," he muttered, though his voice wavered.
"You're bleeding, Shinji," she said gently, her fingers carefully avoiding the shards as she inspected his hand. Her touch was warm, steady, and for a moment, he let himself lean into it.
"Why are you even bothering?" he whispered, his voice cracking. "I'm not the person you remember. I'm not... whole. I don't even know who I am anymore."
Yu's eyes softened, and she placed her hand over his, careful to avoid the cuts. "You're still my brother. That's all that matters to me."
Her words hit him harder than he expected. He closed his eyes, his shoulders shaking slightly as he exhaled a shaky breath.
"We'll clean this up together," she said firmly. "And then, we'll figure out the rest. One step at a time."
For the first time in what felt like ages, Shinji nodded. He didn't have the strength to argue. Maybe, just maybe, she was right. But as she guided him back to his bed, her arm around his shoulders, he couldn't help but glance back at the shattered mirror.
It felt like it was watching him. Judging him.
Yu worked methodically, her hands steady despite the tension in the room. She pulled the first aid kit from its usual spot and sat beside Shinji on the bed.
"This might hurt a little," she said softly, picking up a pair of tweezers to remove the shards of glass from his hand.
Shinji didn't flinch. The pain wasn't what bothered him anymore. In some ways, it was a relief, a distraction from the constant churn of memories and doubts. He watched silently as Yu worked, her face a mix of concentration and worry.
"You don't have to do this," he murmured after a long silence, his voice low.
"Do what?" Yu didn't look up as she carefully extracted another shard.
"Pretend I'm... fixable," he said, his tone bitter.
Yu stopped for a moment, setting the tweezers down. Her gaze met his, steady and unwavering. "I'm not pretending, Shinji. You are fixable. You're not broken, you're healing. And healing takes time."
He looked away, his jaw tightening. "I don't feel like it. Every time I close my eyes, I'm back there. Every time I move, I feel the weight of the breach. And now, this..." He gestured weakly with his injured hand. "This mess just proves it. I'm a danger, even to myself."
"You're not a danger," Yu said firmly. She resumed her work, her voice softening as she continued. "You're hurting, Shinji. And that's okay. You don't have to go through this alone."
The room was quiet except for the sound of her gentle movements. When she finished removing the glass, she cleaned the wounds and began wrapping his hand in gauze.
"There," she said, tying off the bandage. "Good as new."
Shinji gave her a weak smile, though it didn't reach his eyes. "Thanks."
Yu didn't move away. She stayed close, her hand resting lightly on his arm. "You scared me," she admitted, her voice trembling slightly. "When I saw the mirror, the blood... I thought..." She trailed off, unable to finish the thought.
"I didn't mean to scare you," Shinji said quietly. He hesitated before adding, "I just... don't know how to deal with this. With any of it."
"You don't have to figure it all out right now," Yu said, squeezing his arm gently. "But you do need to let people help you. Me, the doctors, your teachers at U.A., we're all here for you."
Shinji nodded, though the weight of her words pressed heavily on him. He wanted to believe her, to believe that there was a way forward, but the path felt impossibly far away.
As the night wore on, Yu stayed by his side, talking about anything and everything to keep his mind occupied. Stories from her patrols, funny moments with her fellow heroes, and even mundane details about her daily life.
Eventually, Shinji found himself relaxing, the tension in his body easing slightly. For the first time in weeks, the ache in his chest didn't feel quite as unbearable.
When Yu finally left to let him rest, Shinji lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. The reflection of the shattered mirror lingered in his mind, but it wasn't as sharp, the edges duller somehow. He let out a long, slow breath, feeling the weight of the past few months pressing down on him. The days were starting to blend together, every moment a blur of white hospital walls and the sterile scent of antiseptic.
Before he drifted off to what was going to be restless sleep like it always was, one particular thought clawed its way through the maelstrom, one that for once was entirely bad memories,
Who was he? He was Shinji Takeyama.
He was the brother of the pro heroine Mt. Lady, a name that carried weight and fame, a legacy he had always felt shadowed by but now seemed so distant. He was the one who made the impossible decision, the one who tackled a kaiju through the breach to save not just someone, but everyone. He was the one who survived three agonizing years in that place, a world of endless monsters, of despair, of survival at all costs.
He had endured. When others would have crumbled, when the odds were stacked against him, Shinji had fought back, not just against the kaiju but against the very idea that he was insignificant. He had been bruised, broken, and battered, but he had refused to die.
Now, as he sat in this sterile room, surrounded by people trying to piece him back together, he couldn't ignore the quiet voice in his head, whispering those truths back to him. He wasn't just a survivor. He wasn't just a victim. He was Shinji Takeyama.
And maybe, just maybe, he still had something left to give.
As the first light of dawn crept through the blinds, casting soft rays across the room, Shinji sat up in bed, his gaze fixed on the quiet world outside. For the first time in what felt like forever, he didn't feel entirely weighed down by his thoughts. The nightmares had come, as always, but they didn't seem to cling to him the same way when he woke. There was a strange lightness in his chest, faint but there.
When Yu came in to check on him, her usual worried expression gave way to surprise. "Shinji?" she said, her voice tentative as she stepped closer. "You're… smiling?"
He glanced at her, realizing he was, in fact, smiling, just a small, fleeting one. "Yeah," he admitted softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Feels kind of weird, doesn't it?"
Yu's eyes softened with relief, and she crouched beside his chair, gently touching his arm. "It's not weird. It's good. It's really good."
He looked down at her hand, then back up at her, a glimmer of hope in his dark purple eyes. "Maybe I'm starting to figure it out," he said quietly. "I don't know what changed, but… I feel a little less stuck today."
A little later, just as Yu had promised, Nezu and Aizawa arrived. The door creaked open to reveal the two familiar figures, their expressions carefully neutral, though both of them immediately noticed the difference in Shinji's demeanor.
"Good morning, Shinji," Nezu greeted, his sharp eyes noting the way Shinji sat straighter, his hands not clenching the sheets like before. "How are you feeling today?"
Shinji met his gaze, something steadier in his posture. "Better," he said simply, his voice stronger than it had been in weeks.
Aizawa raised an eyebrow, his arms crossed but his stance more relaxed. "That's good to hear," he said. "Yu mentioned you seemed… lighter this morning."
"Yeah, I guess I do," Shinji admitted, glancing between the two of them. "I don't know if I can explain it. Maybe I just… needed to let everything out last night. Or maybe I'm tired of feeling like I'm stuck in one place. Either way, I feel… clearer."
Nezu smiled softly, his small frame carrying an air of calm authority. "That's a significant step forward, Shinji. It's okay to take these victories, no matter how small they seem."
Aizawa nodded, moving a little closer. "We still need to talk about what happened yesterday," he said gently. "Not to dwell on it, but to understand it. You've been through a lot, and your quirk is tied to some of those experiences. We need to know how to help you manage it moving forward."
Shinji nodded, his gaze steady. "I get that," he said, his voice quieter now but not as fragile as it had been. "Yesterday… I don't know what came over me. It's like my body reacted before I even realized what was happening. It's been so long since I've used my quirk, and even longer since I felt like it was mine to control."
Nezu tilted his head thoughtfully. "It's understandable," he said. "Your quirk is deeply tied to your survival instincts. It makes sense that it would manifest when you feel any kind of threat, even if it's subconscious."
Shinji looked down at his hands, flexing his right hand slowly. "It's not that I don't want to use it," he said. "I just… I don't want to rely on it the way I did before. Back then, it was the only thing keeping me alive. Now, I want it to be something more than just a weapon."
"That's a good perspective to have," Aizawa said. "It means you're not just reacting anymore. You're thinking about what you want your quirk to be."
Nezu nodded in agreement. "And that's something we can help you with, Shinji. Finding that balance, learning to use your quirk in a way that feels right to you."
Shinji looked up at them, his purple eyes steady and calm. "I think I'm ready to try," he said softly. "I don't know if I'll ever be who I was, but… maybe that's okay. Maybe it's about figuring out who I am now."
Yu, who had been standing off to the side, smiled warmly, her eyes glistening with pride. "That's all anyone could ask for," she said softly.
"Principal Nezu, sir," Shinji said suddenly, his tone uncertain but determined. "Can I ask a pretty big favor from you?"
Nezu's ears perked up, and he regarded Shinji with a curious smile. "Of course, Shinji. Ask away."
Shinji glanced at Yu briefly before turning his attention back to Nezu. "Would it be possible for me to live on campus at U.A.? Like, instead of just coming here for tests or training, actually stay here full-time?"
For a moment, there was silence. Then Nezu threw his head back and laughed heartily, his small frame practically shaking with mirth. Yu and Aizawa exchanged startled looks, but Nezu's amusement only seemed to grow.
Shinji blinked, unsure if he'd said something wrong. "Uh… Principal Nezu?"
"Oh, Shinji," Nezu said, finally composing himself, his sharp eyes twinkling with delight. "This is exactly why I knew I liked you. You have a way of getting right to the heart of things."
"Wait, what?" Shinji asked, confused.
Nezu chuckled again, his expression warm. "I was going to suggest the same thing myself, but I had planned to bring it up at a later date. You've just saved me the trouble!"
"You… were?" Shinji said, his eyes widening.
"Indeed," Nezu confirmed with a nod. "I've been considering implementing a dormitory system for U.A. students. Having you live on campus would not only benefit you personally, but it would also allow us to evaluate how such a system might work on a larger scale."
Yu leaned forward, still processing Nezu's enthusiasm. "So, you were planning this all along?"
"Of course," Nezu said cheerfully. "For Shinji, living on campus provides an opportunity to step into a supportive environment while adapting to a new routine. And for U.A., it serves as a perfect trial for the dorm system."
Shinji stared at him, a mixture of surprise and relief washing over him. "So… you're okay with it?"
"More than okay," Nezu said, his smile widening. "I think it's an excellent idea. The timing of your request is just impeccable."
Aizawa, arms crossed, gave Shinji a measured look. "It's a big step," he said evenly. "You'll be around more people, more activity. Are you sure you're ready for that?"
Shinji hesitated, then nodded. "I don't know if I'm ready, but… I want to try. I can't keep staying where I am. I need to move forward."
Nezu's grin grew even wider. "A wonderful attitude, Shinji! We'll begin preparations immediately. The dormitory will be tailored to suit your needs, and we'll make sure everything is in place before you move in."
Yu placed a supportive hand on Shinji's shoulder, pride evident in her eyes. "This is a big decision, but I think it's the right one. I'm proud of you, Shinji."
"Thanks," Shinji said softly, offering her a small smile.
Aizawa nodded approvingly. "If you're willing to take this step, we'll back you up. Just remember, it's not going to be easy."
"I know," Shinji replied quietly. "But I think I'm ready."
"Excellent!" Nezu exclaimed, clapping his paws together. "We'll handle the logistics and keep you updated. Welcome to U.A., Shinji."
As the conversation shifted to practical details, Shinji leaned back, feeling a sense of purpose he hadn't felt in a long time. The idea of a fresh start, of building something new, seemed less like a distant hope and more like a real possibility.
As the conversation neared its end, with Nezu outlining the next steps and Aizawa providing his typical no-nonsense input, Shinji's attention drifted. While their words were important, something else tugged at his awareness. a faint sense of being watched.
His gaze darted toward the slightly ajar door of the half-bathroom. A shadow lingered there, faint and fleeting, but unmistakably humanoid. Shinji's chest tightened, his breath catching for a moment. It wasn't just a trick of the light.
It was him.
The corrupted version of himself, the twisted, distorted reflection he had seen twice before.
Shinji's throat went dry, but instead of panicking, he forced himself to speak. "Wait."
His voice cut through the room like a blade, silencing Nezu mid-sentence. The three others, Nezu, Aizawa, and Yu, turned to him, their expressions ranging from curiosity to concern.
"I need to tell you something," Shinji said, his tone firmer than he expected. He slowly lifted his right arm pointing over to the bathroom door. "Do you see that? Over there?"
All three followed his gaze, their expressions shifting subtly as they studied the door. Aizawa's brow furrowed, Yu stepped closer to Shinji, and Nezu tilted his head slightly, his sharp eyes unreadable.
"I don't see anything," Yu said cautiously, her voice tinged with worry. "Shinji, what is it?"
Shinji let his arm drop, clenching his fists, his nails digging into his palms. "It's the third time I've seen it. Him."
"Him?" Aizawa asked, his voice low and even, though his eyes narrowed slightly.
Shinji nodded, swallowing hard. "It's…like what happened to striker...after I left the breach, it's me but like a kaiju."
The room went still, a heavy silence settling over the group.
Nezu's voice broke through the tension, calm and measured. "You've seen this… version of yourself before?"
Shinji nodded again. "The first time was in the hospital, right after I woke up. He was in the corner, watching me. The second time was last night in the mirror" His gaze flicked back to the door, but the shadow was gone. "He's always just… watching. Like he's waiting for something."
Yu's hand found his shoulder, her grip firm but comforting. "Shinji, why didn't you tell me this before?"
Shinji looked down, feeling the weight of his words. "I didn't want to worry you," he admitted quietly. "Thought if I didn't say anything, maybe it would just go away. But it's not going away, is it?" His voice was laced with a mix of guilt and desperation.
Shinji took a deep breath, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders as he spoke. "I guess… I just needed to say it out loud," he admitted a hint of relief in his voice. "Now that I have, I feel… I don't know, a little lighter. Maybe I can start to move past it." His eyes met Yu's, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
Nezu, who had been watching them intently, nodded in agreement. "You've made a lot of progress already, Shinji," he said, his tone gentle. "We'll be back within a week to help you pack up and move. It's time for a new start, one where you're not just surviving, but living again."