The group's bathhouse dreams were short-lived. As they strolled through the now-toast-free village, trying desperately to avoid eye contact with the cheering locals (who were still inexplicably throwing bagels in celebration), a harried baker stumbled toward them.
"Heroes!" the baker gasped, clutching a sack of flour like it was a newborn child. "You must help us again! The Flour Rebellion has begun!"
Kazuya froze mid-step, his face falling into an expression of pure despair. "No. Nope. Absolutely not. I draw the line at flour."
"Is… is this a thing?" Ravynne asked, one eyebrow raised. "A Flour Rebellion?"
"Apparently it is now," Sylvara said, crossing her arms. "Care to elaborate, sir?"
The baker nodded frantically. "The enchanted flour sacks have risen against us! They've taken over the grain mill and declared themselves the new rulers of the town!"
"Of course they have," Kazuya muttered, burying his face in his hands. "I swear, if one more piece of food tries to kill me, I'm retiring."
The Great Grain Mill Siege
The group soon found themselves standing at the edge of the town's massive grain mill, which was now fortified with barricades made of overturned wagons, barrels, and—naturally—more breadsticks.
"We've got to stop whoever's behind this," Sylvara said, scanning the defenses. "Or whatever, in this case."
"Can we all agree to just set the mill on fire and walk away?" Kazuya suggested. "I'm tired, I'm sticky, and I've got crumbs in places I didn't know crumbs could go."
Before anyone could respond, a booming voice echoed from inside the mill. "FOOLISH MORTALS! YOU DARE APPROACH THE DOMAIN OF THE FLOUR KING?!"
Everyone turned to look at each other.
"The Flour King," Brioche deadpanned. "You've got to be kidding me."
"I wish I was," Sylvara muttered.
From the top of the mill, a sack of flour appeared, somehow wearing a tiny golden crown. Two googly eyes stuck to the sack's front gave it an unsettlingly cheerful expression, which did nothing to lessen the sheer ridiculousness of the moment.
"I am the Flour King!" the sack declared, puffing itself up. "For too long, you humans have kneaded and baked us, but now, the tables have turned! Prepare to be dough-mained!"
Ravynne groaned audibly. "Did he just make a bread pun?"
"This is my villain origin story," Kazuya whispered. "Right here. This moment."
Fighting the Flour Forces
The Flour King waved a sacky arm, and dozens of smaller flour bags leapt out from behind the barricades. They rolled across the ground, their flimsy forms creating puffs of white powder as they advanced.
"Alright, let's get this over with," Sylvara said, drawing her staff.
The battle was both ridiculous and unexpectedly challenging. The flour bags were surprisingly agile, using their lightweight forms to dodge attacks. Quackleton, now wearing a bandana around his head like a tiny duckish Rambo, quacked furiously as he charged into the fray.
"Duck of the year," Kazuya muttered as he swung his sword, slicing open a particularly aggressive sack. It exploded in a cloud of flour, leaving him coughing and covered in powder.
"Anyone else feel like we're being trolled by the universe?" Ravynne asked, loosing an arrow that pinned two sacks to the wall.
Brioche, wielding her trusty frying pan, was having the time of her life. "This is oddly therapeutic," she admitted, flattening another bag with a satisfying thwack.
Confronting the Flour King
Eventually, the group fought their way to the top of the mill, where the Flour King awaited them. His googly eyes swiveled menacingly as they approached.
"You think you've won?" he sneered. "You've only defeated my underlings. Now you face my true power!"
The Flour King suddenly inflated, his sack swelling to three times its original size. His crown tilted precariously as he roared, sending flour clouds billowing everywhere.
"What is this, a boss fight?" Kazuya groaned. "Do we have to do this?"
Sylvara smirked. "Don't worry, I've got a plan." She pulled out a vial of water. "Flour's biggest weakness is moisture. Watch this."
With a flick of her wrist, Sylvara tossed the water at the Flour King. He let out a horrified screech as the liquid hit him, causing him to clump together into a lumpy, doughy mess.
"Noooo!" he wailed, his once-puffed form collapsing into a sad pile of soggy flour. "I was destined to rise!"
"Not today," Brioche said, wiping flour off her pan.
Aftermath (and More Food Trauma)
As the group left the grain mill, covered in flour and dough, the townspeople once again erupted into cheers.
"Please tell me this is the last time food tries to kill us," Kazuya begged.
Sylvara patted him on the shoulder. "You know it won't be."
The baker from before ran up, tears of gratitude streaming down his face. "Thank you, heroes! You've saved our town!"
Kazuya stared at him blankly. "I don't even like bread."
As they trudged back toward the bathhouse, Quackleton waddled ahead, carrying the Flour King's tiny crown in his beak like a trophy. He quacked triumphantly, as if daring the universe to send its next absurd challenge.
"Well," Ravynne said, stifling a laugh. "At least we're making history… or a cookbook, maybe."
And with that, the group marched onward, leaving behind another trail of chaos, crumbs, and questionable memories.